Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e26 Episode Script

1 [cheerful music.]
# Harvey # # Harvey # # Harvey # [clears throat.]
I called you here today to discuss something very important.
As you know, tomorrow is my birthday.
I will be turning ten years old.
Now, years ago, when I was just a babe, I made this.
It's a list of all the crazy, fun things I wanted to do before I turned ten.
And as of this morning, I haven't done any of them.
So we got a lot to cover.
Okay? [muffled.]
Ohh.
That's why we're in a big hamster ball.
Yep! I've always wanted to try this.
Let's go! [laughter.]
[upbeat music.]
[creature snoring.]
[creature sneezes.]
[speaking gibberish.]
Both: Three, two, one! Guys, I'm having second thoughts about Both: Let 'er go! [screams.]
[splash.]
- I think he made it.
- My turn! [all laughing.]
Wow! Turning ten is awesome! Yes.
Yes, it is.
[upbeat music.]
Wahoo! Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! Hey, pal.
You ready for your big birthday bash tomorrow? You bet I am! I got through my whole turning ten list.
[laughing.]
Wow! That's a lot of stuff.
Turning ten means you're officially joining the double-digit club.
That means you're a grown-up, and everyone knows that grown-ups don't have any fun.
- Am I right, dear? - Oh, yeah.
Us grown-ups are just a bunch of boring, old farts.
[both laughing.]
- Wait a minute.
Is that really true? - Oh, oh, yeah.
Instead of having fun, you get to pay taxes, worry about the mortgage, diversify your portfolio.
Oof! But I don't know what any of that means.
Oh, and also your skin gets all saggy, and you get cranky.
Bah! Where are my bifocals? Oh, oh! And the best part is, you're one year closer to inheriting your old man's butt pillow! Oh, Irving, you're terrible.
[ominous music.]
Butt pillow? Just one of the many perks of the double-digit club.
[lightning bugs buzzing.]
[suspenseful music.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey, Harvey, check it out.
Me and Foo found this wheelbarrow, so we decided to tape a rocket to it.
Care to join us? Oh, I'm sorry, guys, but I'm ten years old.
That means I don't like having fun anymore.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to do something a little more age-appropriate.
- My joints hurt! - Mine hurt more! You know, the problem with this new generation is that they're all just terrible! Why do I have to pay taxes? What have they ever done for me? My butt pillow's uncomfortable.
Ah! Ahh! Ahh! [thud.]
No, no, I'm not ready to be an old person yet! [upbeat music.]
Gettin' ready for the party Brush, brush, brush Brush, brush, brush Hey, guys.
- Hey, Harvey, happy birth - Yeah! Happy bir - Mm-mm.
- I don't get it.
Why don't you want us to say "birth"oof! Dude, what gives? I found that turning double digits means being a grown-up, and being a grown-up means you don't get to have any fun.
- No way! Really? - Yeah, so I'm not gonna turn ten.
You can just not have a birthday? This whole birthday thing is confusing.
Well, I realized that if I don't have a birthday party, then I won't have a birthday.
- So I just won't have a birthday party.
- Okay, that makes sense.
But your parents are already setting it up.
Right.
That's why I need your help.
[gasps.]
Oh you want us to wreck your birthday party.
Exactly.
Oh, man.
I'm so happy! I could kiss you.
- Foo, kiss Harvey for me.
- Mwah! Ah.
Thank you.
Oh, no.
Balloons on the mailbox! We're gonna need to work fast before it's too late.
Happy birthday, Harvey.
Oh, no, Kratz.
You must be mistaken.
There's no party here, and it's definitely not my birthday.
There's the birthday boy! Are you kids ready to party birthday-style? Come on; everybody's out back.
I understand.
I didn't get invited to my birthday party either.
- See you later.
- No, Kratz, wait! I Oh, man.
Harvey, come on.
Let's go case the joint.
Yeah! Let's upper-and lowercase it! Come on out here, big guy! Eh Wh [people cheering.]
- Happy birthday! - Happy birthday! [indistinct chatter.]
- Ta-da! A snake! - But I asked for a monster truck.
Uh, okay, who else wants a snake? [disonant music.]
[grunting.]
Happy birthday, Harvey.
I made you some celebratory cupcakes.
Aren't they glorious? Here, try one! [screaming.]
[chuckling.]
[screaming.]
My party's out of control.
We can't stop it! I'm doomed! [panting heavily.]
Harvey, if you want to stay a baby for the rest of your life, you're gonna need to man up.
Okay, what do we do? You cause a distraction while me and Foo get to work.
[indistinct chatter.]
Hey, everyone! Attention! Over here.
That's right.
Over here! Everyone just come on over.
So I have um a very special surprise for everybody.
Um let's see.
Now, it's um Oh! How about everyone try to guess what the surprise is? - Is it a pony? - Is it a pegasus? - Fire truck! - Ooh, a magic show? Yeah, yeah! It's a magic show.
- Wow.
- I want to see a magic show! - That sounds great.
- Ooh! All right, so nothing in my left hand.
Nothing in my right hand.
Um and yet a handkerchief appears as if from nowhere! All: Whoa! Now I say the magic words.
Abracadabra! Flippity-floop! Hocus pocus! Schmitty shmoop! Eenie, meenie, miny, mucus.
Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle, puke-us.
And poof! My hand is gone! [cheers and applause.]
All: Wow! - My gosh.
- This is amazing.
[dramatic music.]
Oh, no! What happened? Well, shucks.
Looks like the party's ruined.
I guess everyone's just gonna have to go home now.
Dad: Everyone stay exactly where you are! What? - It's time for the birthday cake! - Ta-da! All: Yeah! We love cake! We love cake! What? No, no, no, no.
No cake! [all chanting.]
We love cake! We love cake! Oh, this is so exciting! When you blow out those candles, you'll officially be ten years old.
[no audio.]
- The candles.
- Okay, everybody, on three.
A-one, a-two, a-three! - All: # Ha # - No! [grunts.]
Harvey, come back! Come on.
We have to finish the song.
[adventurous music.]
[breathing heavily.]
Wah! Too fast! The candles are going out! All right, nice and easy.
Oh! Whatever you're selling, I'm not interested! Ah! Oh, man.
My allergies are killing me.
Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Well, time to water the lawn.
Ah! [leaf blower whirrs.]
- Hey, kid, check out my leaf blower! - Woah! [grunting.]
No! [grunting.]
Are the candles okay? I can't see them.
Uh you're welcome.
[grunting.]
Candles? No, no, no, no, no.
No, they're fading.
Dad: There he is! Come on, everybody.
All: # Happy birthday to you # Happy birthday to you Happy birthday [music distorts and slows.]
Dear Harvey Harvey Harvey All: # To you! # [breathing heavily.]
I guess this is good-bye.
Enjoy single digits as long as you can, guys.
Wait, Harvey, where are you going? [sighs.]
I'm gonna grow up.
- You say that like it's a bad thing.
- Well, yeah.
Turning ten means I'm a grown-up and can't have any more fun.
Can't have any fun? Who told you that? - You guys did.
- [chuckles.]
Son, that was a joke.
Plus, that's part of the fun of being a grown-up.
You get to mess with your kids.
Honey, your father and I have been in the double-digits club for like, 20, years now, and we're still having a blast.
[upbeat music.]
- [laughing.]
Hey! Hey! - So I can have fun forever? Well, Harvey, that's up to you.
I'm gonna have fun forever! - Cake fight! - Finally.
[kids shouting and laughing.]
Foo: Turning ten is awesome! [mud squishing.]
Blah! Blah blah blagh! [chuckles.]
Woah! A rusted chain! Now all I need is a ship anchor.
Ooh, that's a birthday gift idea.
Say, when is your guys' birthday? I bet you two are Scorpios.
We don't know when our birthday is.
But then how do you guys know when to have your birthday party? Hmm we've never had a birthday party.
Wait, you guys have never had a birthday party? Oh, my gosh.
You've never made a birthday wish or tasted your own cake or opened your presents! Ha! Your eyes are getting all big like when we told you we've never had agave.
And you haven't tasted agave? Oh.
This is so much to process.
Your birthdays could have been yesterday! - It could be right now! - Or it could be tomorrow so that I have time to plan the best, most perfect, well-executed birthday party ever! [upbeat rock music.]
Foo: I'm so excited! [doorbell rings.]
- What do you think it'll be like? - I don't know.
- Do you think there'll be sticks? - Oh, welcome.
I found the perfect theme for your party: - the birthday hotel experience! - Why a hotel? Who wouldn't want to be in a hotel? Pampering, clean sheets, complimentary mints.
All of it awaits you at the Château du Beaks.
Happy birthday, kids! Let me introduce you to my world-class staff: the concierge and my trusted conci-egg.
[chuckles.]
We like to have fun here.
- Wow! This is amazing.
- This looks just like Harvey's house.
Here, let my trusted bellhop take your luggage.
- Just grin and bear it.
- Here's my plate.
[shudders.]
This is my rusted chain.
Don't lose this.
Do it for Harvey.
I knew you guys would like the hotel theme.
This is only the beginning.
Ding! Guests first.
Wait till you see what the hotel has to offer.
Oh, it's moving! [grunting.]
[panting heavily.]
Here we are.
Feast your eyes! Here's our game room.
And the swimming pool.
A first-class snack spread.
And our relaxing sauna.
Don't forget our gift shop.
The birthday guests get one item free.
And for one night only, we have a special reunion performance - by The Sillies! - Happy birthday, kids! Just so you know, we don't take song requests.
Ah! When's the cake coming out? Hold your horses.
I do have cake on the itinerary.
- Wow.
- You really went all out.
I'm gonna make tonight the most perfect hotel party you guys have ever had.
[doorbell rings.]
Oh, that's odd.
We're not expecting more guests.
Please help yourselves to the facilities.
I'll just be a moment.
[panting.]
[muffled.]
Mom? [grunting.]
Okay.
The elevator is out of order for a while, sweetie.
Thanks, Mom! Oh, hi, Kratz.
Yeah, I know Fee and Foo said the party starts at 6:00, - but my mom dropped me off early.
- Wait, Fee and Foo invited you? We got so excited, we invited everyone.
What do you mean, "everyone"? Ahh! [dance music.]
Rock your body, everybody rock-rockin' Rock, rock, rock everybody rock-rockin' Everybody rockin', rock your body Rock, rock, rock - Eh! - Hey, get back here! Excuse me, these are for birthday guests.
And please use coasters! Hey, kid.
You look stressed.
- Everything is out of control.
- Go on, child.
Randall and I will mind the snack the table for you.
Thanks, guys.
I've got to get the hotel experience back on track! All right, buh-bye now! And - he's gone.
- All right, I got my trick legs.
Let's stuff them full of food.
You can't just dump your stuff here! [grunting.]
Has the world gone willy-nilly? Dade, I need you to get the backup towels! Don't you worry your pretty little head.
Out of the way, you animals! [music.]
Blech! [phone rings.]
Château du Beaks.
I'm sorry, sir, but pizza isn't on the hotel menu.
[dial tone.]
Hello? [sobbing.]
Conci-egg, I need you to handle the phones.
- Where's Mom? - Who wants more chips? Drop the chips.
[gasps.]
And pick up a scrunchie.
We got the gang back together.
We picked up a new member.
I put my scrunchie on my wrist because I put gel in my hair.
I'm sorry, girls, but I'm concierge.
I have to work.
- Oh.
- Ugh! What is work? I don't even care.
Oh, do you hear that? Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum.
Wah! Get ready for fun Miriam! All: Yeah! Please no running! Fee, Foo! It's gonna be okay! I'm gonna fix all this! Hey, buddy.
You gonna stand there all day or what? Oh, I'm sorry, everyone, but we're at capacity.
Not while I'm on vacation.
[laser zaps.]
[all cheering.]
- This is awesome! - Yay! Dad, Dad, Dad! They're trashing the house! Dad, Dad, Dad! All: Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Hey, they're calling my name! Oh, this party's out of control.
Poor Fee and Foo.
I have to get these people out of here, even if it means getting everyone mad at me.
[indistinct chatter.]
[phone beeping.]
Hello? Police? Sorry to bother you, but there's rule-breaking going on.
All right, party's over! You're all under arrest for disturbing the peace! [dance music.]
Oh, this is a pretty good beat.
Oh, you.
You trying to test me, huh? You think you can challenge my authority? Oh, oh, oh, it's on, baby boy! Let's do this! Whoa! We got a dance battle here! Crikey! DJ, pump this party! [electronic dance music.]
[sighs.]
That didn't work.
Maybe some birthday cake will bring people to their senses.
Ha - Go, go, go, go! - Hey! - The cake is Neapolitan.
- Stop! The cake! - Oh, no.
- It's still good! [gobbling.]
Okay, that is it! All: Yeah! This is the craziest party in Littlebark history! Please, come with me.
I'm gonna save you from this disaster.
On behalf of the hotel, I am so sorry about the chaos outside.
But don't worry; I'm gonna get this birthday back on track.
- But, Harvey, we're already having - Hup-pup-pup-pup-pup.
Now's not the time for feedback.
[peaceful music.]
Welcome to the relaxation spa.
Eh? - Ooh, steamy.
- Get in while the water's still hot.
Ahh, aromatherapy.
So soothing.
This is gonna be a tranquil birthday treat.
- Does anyone have a bottle opener? - Get out! We are relaxing in here! - Okay, relaxing, huh? - Yeah, it's very thoughtful, Harvey.
But as I was trying to tell you earlier No, Foo! This isn't that kind of mud.
This is for relaxing, see? Now, sit back and don't move.
This is what birthdays are all about.
Now just breathe.
[panting heavily.]
Wah-ho! He dropped the bass! [crowd cheering and music pounding.]
Time to relax to the max.
Ambience, robes, towels, and cucumbers.
Potpourri.
Potpourri.
This is working.
- Oh, you can't do that! [gasp.]
- Wow! Whoa! Oh, man, I would hate to be missing this! Time for foot scrubs.
Guys? [laughing.]
Whoa.
- Cool! - Guys? Foot scrubs? Exfoliation? Look! Scented loofahs? [sighs.]
I blew it.
Well, that's the end of the hotel experience.
I can tell you guys want to leave.
If you could fill out these customer suggestion cards, I'll try to address your complaints in future hotel stays.
Thanks, Harvey! Wait, what? Best birthday ever.
I love hotels.
Kissy face! Foo.
Five stars.
Come outside with us, you dork.
Fee.
[over PA.]
Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for our hotel manager, Harvey, the best party host in town.
[all cheering.]
- Yeah! - All right! [upbeat rock music.]
[thud.]
I drank all the pop.
Who wants to dance? Come on, Harvey! [funky techno music.]