TaleSpin (1990) s01e26 Episode Script

1
[male voice]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Let's begin it.
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Oh-ee-yeah
TaleSpin
Oh-ee-yo
TaleSpin
Friends for life through
thick and thin with another tale to spin
Oh-ee-yeah
TaleSpin
Oh-ee-yo
TaleSpin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Spin it, my friend.
Woo-hoo!
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Spin it, let's begin it,
bear and grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
when you spin it, spin it, spin it
Ha ha!
So spin it
TaleSpin! ♪
[Baloo] Look, I'm sorry, Becky.
How many times do I have to say it?
For what you did,
1,000 times wouldn't be enough.
You gave the keys to my car
to a complete stranger.
Well, the guy was dressed like
a parking valet.
How could I know he was a thief?
You should have asked him
for some credentials.
Credentials?
Like what? A badge?
The guy parks cars.
Anyway, I got the car back.
In how many pieces?
Face it, Baloo, you're too gullible.
I'd never be fooled like that.
No possible way!
Jack Case is the name.
Spying's my game.
But that's hush-hush, you know.
- A spy?
- How'd you know?
Are you an enemy agent?
A Mahatma Hari?
Who sent you? Who do you work for?
I run this place.
OK, just the person I want to see.
I need a plane. I need a pilot.
I'm on a mission. Totally hush-hush.
I gotta get this box
to a certain place by a certain time
or we're talking certain disaster.
- You certain?
- Certainly.
It's a matter of importance.
To the government!
The government? Ooh, how patriotic!
Yes. But you didn't hear it from me.
Of course not. Mum's the word.
Now, let me check our schedule.
Whaddaya know? We have an opening.
'Scuse us a sec.
Are you nuts?
We aren't gonna fly this guy.
We don't even know if he's really a spy.
Baloo! He says he is.
Well, fine. Then have him
show you his credentials.
Credentials? Like what, a badge?
The guy's a secret agent! They're
probably all written in invisible ink.
Oh, brother!
Mr. Case,
you've got yourself an airplane!
[Baloo] So, where we headed, hotshot?
- That's a secret.
- Secret, schmecret.
At least tell me where we're goin'.
I am the one flyin' this plane.
Sorry.
But that's on a need-to-know basis.
Right. I need to know.
You fly me in, I swap this package for
another just like it and you fly me out.
- Got it?
- In where?
Your directions sound mighty close
to the border of Thembria.
Actually, they're over
the border of Thembria.
Are you out of your pointy-earded gourd?
You don't just flit into
Thembria unannounced!
- I'm not worried.
- [thud]
- Well, that makes one of us.
- [thud]
What's making that noise?
If I'm not mistaken, a piano.
Thembrians like to get your
attention with large objects.
You are in restricted
Thembrian airspace.
I order you to pull over immediately.
Oh, dear. They mean business.
- With a capital Biz, lady.
- [thud]
What are we gonna do?
Well, why don't you ask old spyboy?
He's got all the answers.
Right. Jack!
Jack, what should we do?
Jack!
Sorry, Rebecca, but I've gotta go.
It's for the good of the nation!
But what about us?
Rebecca, they may capture you,
they may torture you.
They may subject you to pain
beyond human endurance.
But if they do, I want you
to remember just one thing.
- Yes, Jack?
- Mum's the word!
Well?
He sorta stepped out for a minute.
- Pitiful.
- [thud]
Oops! We can't hang around
here anymore. Hold on!
[Rebecca yells]
Squad attack!
Phew! [yells]
- You are a swede lover!
- Your father milks chickens!
Mama!
[laughs]
That showed 'em a thing or three.
Whoa! More company comin'.
[Rebecca] Now look what you've done!
[Baloo] Me? It wasn't my secret plan!
[Rebecca] Now remember, Baloo,
don't say a word about you-know-what.
Or you-know-who.
Because you know why!
How could I? I don't even know
what you're talkin' about.
So, ignominious intruders,
you tremble before me.
As well you should.
For I am Colonel Spigot!
- Perhaps you've heard of me?
- No, I can't say that I have.
Spigot! Tyrant of the New Territories.
Beast of the Battle of Baldoon.
Death-dealing demon of Dimswipe?
Oh, you do plumbing, right?
Wrong! No.
- Do I get another hint?
- Plumbing?!
[mutters]
- Dunder!
- Sir.
Show him my résumé.
Oh, that Spigot!
Confess! Are you not here to disrupt
the Thembrians' glorious Slush Festival,
of which I am in charge
of the Slush Parade?
Slush Parade?
Now listen, Spiggie,
this is all a big misunderstanding.
Some idiot hired us to fly him in and
- Ow!
- Zip it, Baloo.
Jack said not to tell them anything.
We have nothing to say. Especially
about the box Jack was carrying.
- Box? What box?
- My lips are sealed.
It's not a bomb, is it?
I'm not saying. Not a word.
You won't get anything from me.
Ha! But I already have.
By refusing to say it wasn't a bomb
when I asked you if it was,
you thought you'd trick me
into thinking you were lying.
Thus I presume it wasn't a bomb.
Therefore the answer is
as plain as the nose on my foot.
Which is, pray tell?
That it is a bomb!
Otherwise you would have said it was.
Amazing deduction!
Thank you.
To the dungeons with them.
[Rebecca] Hey, I didn't say anything.
[smashing]
Uh-oh.
[Spigot] And make sure the prisoner's
plane is stored away as evidence.
- Of course, Colonel.
- Remember, men.
Inspect those gifts as if your lives
depended on it. Because they do.
One of those boxes is a bomb.
The high marshal!
Do I know this person?
He's the head of your air force.
- Didn't I have him shot?
- Not yet.
I am at your service, sir!
Oh, yes. Um Nozzle.
Uh, that's Spigot, sir.
Uh, of course I've often thought about
changing my name to Nozzle.
Good. You know my wife?
[snorts]
Madam High Marshal!
You were never lovelier.
- I wasn't?
- Except for the last time I saw you.
And the time before that.
You were always lovelier.
Hmm!
Well, I trust there will be no incidents
at the Slush Festival.
Nothing like that bomb last year.
A bomb? This year?
Oh, High Marshal!
You have my word
that everything will be perfect.
Good. Otherwise you will be shot.
Boy! Getting my package in there's
going to be tougher than I thought.
It's not fair! I have an MBA.
I shouldn't be sitting in a dungeon
with slime and vermin.
Hey, don't blame me!
It was your spysie-wysie that got you
here with his secret mumbo-jumbo.
Jack is on a mission
for the government.
Can't you understand?
I understand, I just don't believe.
I don't think he's a real spy.
Oh? Well, how do you explain
his trench coat, huh?
That's a spy's trench coat!
Oh, dazzling logic.
You and Spigot go to the same school?
Oh, insults now?
[snores]
Huh?
Why if Jack were here, he'd probably
have some spyish way to get us out.
Like an exploding pen
or an invisible screwdriver or
[banging]
Will you two keep it down?
I'm trying to get some sleep!
Or maybe a handy-dandy spoon?
[Rebecca]
Hut-two, hut-two, hut-two, hut-two!
Hut-two-three-four
Gee, that was fun!
Now we just gotta get the Sea Duck
and get outta here.
Somebody's coming.
[Rebecca] It's a dead end!
Don't move!
Hold it, buster. I'm packin' a pistol
and I'm not afraid to use it.
Gimme that.
Don't shoot. It's me, Jack Case.
Jack! What a guy. What a spy!
What a lie. Goodbye!
Wait, wait!
Look, I shouldn't tell you this
- Well, then please don't.
- But I've had to revise the game plan.
I'm gonna need your help. Hush-hush.
Sorry. All outta help.
But the mission. The secret mission.
Hush-hush. Mum's the word.
Government and all that.
I don't even think there is a mission.
If you wanna know what I do think
Baloo! This isn't a debate.
Jack says he's a spy.
Which means I say he's a spy.
Which means we're helping
him finish the mission!
[sighs] Here we go again.
[Rebecca] Ow! Watch where
you're sticking that accordion.
[Jack] Shh!
Try to be a little more secret.
[Rebecca] These clothes look ridiculous.
Sorry, Rebecca, but disguise
is a mainstay for all us spy types.
Man, I just don't know how gals
get around in these things.
And then once the floats go by,
you open all these lovely gifts
from around the world.
I'd rather be ice fishing.
Cancel the festival.
But Your High Marshal! I've worked
I mean, the people have
worked so hard on this.
- Nozzle.
- Spigot.
Every year is the same Slush Festival,
the same dull parade,
the same dull presents.
The people are always bored
and there's always a bomb.
I was hoping for more from you.
Tsk-tsk!
No, please, sir!
I promise. This year will be special.
[door opens]
Ha-huh!
Uh?
As promised, here we are.
"We"?
The special entertainment you hired
for the Slush Festival, of course.
Of course!
See? It's special already.
Do I know you from somewhere?
I bet you say that to all the girls!
And we cannot hardly wait
for the Slush Festival to begin.
In fact, we are so excited.
- Hey!
- Hey!
we feel like dancin'.
A-one and a-two
[fast folk music]
Oh, yeah!
Don't you just love
those native rhythms?
One diversion, as ordered.
On my way.
Sorry.
We're outta here.
- [song ends]
- [grunts]
You got the package?
- Roger.
- Then let's get the plane.
Patsy!
[burps]
[burping]
- I'll take it from here.
- You ever driven one of these?
- No. But remember. I'm a
- Spy, yeah.
You've told us a million times.
And spies know all about
these sort of things.
Where'd you learn that trick?
Some secret agent handbook?
Trust me. I'm in total control.
[Baloo] Total control, huh?
There's my baby!
I think you owe me an apology.
An apology? What for?
Well, it's quite obvious
that Jack really is a spy.
I was right and now we've just helped
the government on a secret mission.
- So there!
- [Jack] No, no, no!
Not again!
Not fair, not fair!
- Jack, what's the matter?
- It's the wrong box.
We have to go back again!
Now, Jack, I'm sure all secret agents
have their little setbacks.
My boss is gonna kill me.
I could save him the trouble!
You're not helping.
Where's your patriotism, Baloo?
I don't know. On vacation?
This box obviously contains
important secrets.
Vital plans that are crucial
[Rebecca] Worms!
Shh! Quiet. Hush-hush.
Don't tell anyone.
They're trained worms, right?
They carry microfilm? They explode?
Jack, tell me they're not
just plain worms.
They're not just plain worms.
They're very expensive fishing worms.
But why would a spy carry fishing worms?
I'm not a spy.
I'm just a mailman.
But the trench coat!
Would you have helped me
if I'd said I was a postal worker?
You shoulda asked for credentials.
Talk!
My boss had me mail two boxes.
One for his wife,
the other to the high marshal.
You see, the high marshal likes to fish.
And you sent the wrong package.
She was supposed to get a jewelry box
with frills and a toy ballerina on top.
We've been risking our necks over
a can of worms and a jewelry box?!
You ever hear of the phrase
"told you so"?
You stay outta this and start the plane.
You in here.
But I gotta switch those boxes.
The high marshal wants fishing stuff.
When he opens the wrong box
and that ballerina pops out,
he'll be insulted, he'll be enraged!
That's your problem!
- Let's get outta here.
- How?
With the Slush Parade goin' on,
the Sea Duck will be a sittin' duck!
Unless you've got some way
of getting us through secretly.
Why, yes.
That's exactly how we're going to do it.
Welcome back to our coverage
of the Slush Festival.
As you can hear, the crowd
can hardly contain its excitement!
[all, downbeat] Yay.
I can see from here
how much our glorious leader,
the high marshal, is enjoying this.
[brass band plays]
And there goes the final float,
a salute to frostbite. What a show!
And now for the annual
opening of the present.
Wait. There's another float!
[quiet applause]
See? Isn't this working out nicely?
We just keep a low profile
and before you know it
[Jack] Wait. Don't go.
I have to switch those packages!
Turn it off!
Too late. You blew our cover. Literally!
Well what do we do?
Get away as fast as we can.
Good idea.
Tanks!
We're done for.
What we need is a diversion.
What we need is a secret agent.
Didn't you already learn that lesson?
I did, but they didn't!
Is this another one of your
special events, Schnozzle?
Uh yes. I mean, no.
[Jack] Come on, guys.
You've gotta let me go!
[Jack groans]
Yes!
High Marshal,
I have something for you!
[Rebecca] He wanted to be a spy
Look, everyone, a spy!
[shocked cries]
That better not be a bomb, Nozzle.
Stop that man! Please.
Mr. High Marshal!
Now's our chance.
[panicked cries]
[all gasp]
[cheering]
Nice touch, Nozzle.
The peasants actually liked it!
Oh, thank you, High Marshal!
But I'm not a spy, honest.
Just ask them.
Ask them!
"The high marshal, seen here accepting
his favorite gift of the festival."
"An ornamental fishing tackle box."
Well, don't that beat all!
The guy didn't even know
it was supposed to be a jewelry box.
See? Everything turned out fine.
Woulda turned out finer if we hadn't
gone through it in the first place.
How many times
do I have to say I'm sorry?
Oh, only another
672 more times.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I just love how that sounds.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
TaleSpin
TaleSpin
Ooh-ooh
Another tale to spin
TaleSpin
TaleSpin
Ooh-ooh
Another tale to spin
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh
[Baloo] Ha ha ha!
TaleSpin ♪