The Adventures of Superboy (1988) s01e26 Episode Script

[theme music]
[intense music]
Can I, uh,
see your ID, sir?
Sure.
[buzzing]
Now, open the gate
or I'll fry your brains.
Open it!
(male on speaker)
All soldiers down
[buzzing]
[buzzing]
[buzzing]
[all screaming]
Hey, you, halt!
I said, halt!
[buzzing]
Open the case.
Are you crazy, soldier?
This is top secret.
Open it!
[buzzing]
They never learn do they, Leo?
How are we gonna
get in now?
Watch Lex Luthor
show you the way.
[buzzing]
They were wearing
ROTC uniforms.
Schuster university is
the only school in this area
with an ROTC program.
[knocking on door]
Major, T.J. White,
Clark Kent.
The two students I mentioned,
the ones who could help us.
I sure hope so.
This, uh, gun that was
takenexactly what is it?
The Thermatron 14 is a
heat seeking laser weapon
and can be handled
like a rifle.
It's calibrated to seek out
body temperature.
Can kill a man out of 1000 yards
by pointing in his direction.
Very scary.
- No pictures, please.
- No..
This project has not been
cleared for publication.
Yeah, I'll make sure that
doesn't happen again, major.
I told the major you'd do
some investigating on campus.
Anything you can come up
with we'll appreciate it.
Yeah, well, we'll
give it a try, Lieutenant.
Um, lieutenant,
I-I was just gonna say
well, just because
they had ROTC uniforms on
doesn't mean they had
to be students.
From the evidence that
seems to be our best bet.
Uh, how about going in
that direction for now?
Like, right now.
- Oh.
- Oh.
Only one student I know who
could do something like this.
- Lex?
- Luthor, man?
He didn't even
belong to ROTC.
You think a little detail like
that's gonna get in his way.
Guess not.
Hey, Lex, the word's out
that the ROTC guys
are assembling
on campus in full dress
Mmm-hmm.
Seems that the army brass
are on their way
in to identify some crooks,
who made off with some
army equipment.
What's happened to patriotism
in this country, Leo?
It's a sad commentary
when even the army is
no longer sacred.
Oh, you're right, Lex,
it's a sad commentary.
Have you contacted
our clients, yet?
Um, yeah, all three
of the organizations.
One's ready to deal right now.
But the other two have to wait
for some higher authority.
Is that a fact? Well,
I'm a patient man right, Leo?
That's right, Lex. No one can
accuse you of impatience.
So, why don't we just deal with
the one who's ready now?
'Cause Leo, the fun of the game
is not just the profit.
It's the delight in watching
them bid against each other.
The joy of observing
their anxieties.
Their terror of feeling to
acquire what they've been
ordered to acquire.
Electric, isn't it?
That's sour thinking, Lex.
- Sour thinking.
- Mmm-hmm.
Oh, but what's this all about?
Entrepreneurship.
Foresight.
Chemical warfare, Leo.
One must think ahead.
Now, what good is it gonna do
to interview Lex Luthor?
I mean, his-his sickening
arrogance is only exceeded
by his lying skill.
That's true, but if we can
get into his dorm room--
Wa-Wait. Is he gonna be
dumb enough to keep hot army
equipment in his dorm room.
No, but we might be find a clue
as to where he's hiding it.
I feel we're doing
injustice by suspecting
the guy without any proof.
Wa-wait. There's nothing
that can be done to Lex Luthor
that can be considered
an injustice.
Hi! So who's buyin'
lunch today?
Depends. If you eat your usual
quarter we'll run out of money.
There is a woman starving
here and you makin' a joke.
Oh, I'm just kinda warmin' up.
- Come on, come on.
- Okay.
Absorbs into the pores.
It's brilliant.
[intense music]
Uhh!
[alarm ringing]
[people screaming]
[upbeat music]
Superboy!
Titanium and phosphorous.
Didn't your mother teach you not
to play with unstable chemicals?
Right up, there.
[mellow music]
Lex! Are you alright?
- I don't know?
- Here. Lie down.
Superboy saved my life.
Yeah.
You're being so nice.
Don't try and talk, Lex.
Where did you disappear?
You were right behind me.
He left me in the dust.
You should go off a track.
So what happened?
Well, Mr. Wonderful, nearly
blew himself up in the lab.
And then finally, Superboy
did a disservice to humanity.
He saved Lex Luthor.
You think you can stand up?
Why is she
letting him do that?
Hey, don't worry about Lana.
She knows how Lex really is.
Right. Hai!
About. Hai!
Right. Hai!
Uh, thank you, Lieutenant.
It's none of these.
Thanks.
No luck.
Wish we could be
of more help, Lieutenant.
Army intelligence is anxious
to get Superboy into this.
Like you guys to get
a message to him if you can.
[horn blowing]
- Out of the way.
- Watch out, guys.
I like it.
I love it.
All these red roses
are for Lana.
Lex is a nice guy,
isn't he, Felix?
This is for you, Lana.
Thank you, Leo.
Grab that one.
From, uh, guess who?
Gee, I wonder, considering
who the messenger is.
I knew you would act like this.
But I just expect a little
bit more from you, Clark.
"To a very gracious woman
from a very grateful man. Lex"
(T.J.)
I hear it, but I
Why are you guys
such downers?
Lex is trying
so hard to be nice.
- You think he's trying hard.
- I think he is convincing her.
Would you stop referring
to me like I'm not here?
- What are you so angry about?
- I'm not angry.
I mean, can't you give anyone
the benefit of the doubt.
Lana, here, read my lips
we're talking about Lex Luthor.
- Hello?
- If you'll excuse me.
I'm gonna go put
the flowers in some water.
Okay, if you run short, there's
a reservoir couple miles down.
Ah!
Oh, Clark.
[knocking on door]
It's unlocked, Leo.
- Hey, Lex, looking good.
- Thanks, Leo.
This is the first time
you ever said, thanks, to me.
I'm in a pretty good mood.
I got the calls
we've been waiting for.
All three organizations
are ready to deal.
WellI'm not
ready for them.
Lex, but this is what
we've been waiting for.
Let them wait.
Lex, begging your pardon,
but what could be more
important than what
we've been talking about?
Lana Lang.
[mellow music]
[knocking on door]
Lana, it's Lex.
Lex?
- Hi.
- Hi.
[knocking on door]
Excuse me there, boss.
But we'd like to talk to Lex.
Um, he's not here.
He's out on a date.
Oh, yeah. We'd like a word
with you thenLeo.
You know, Leo, the whole
ROTC is under suspicion
about what happened
at the army base.
Yeah, military intelligence.
Lieutenant Harris, CIA, FBI.
All getting involved here, Leo.
If you know anything about uh,
couple of missing ROTC uniforms
you might wanna
say something to somebody
well, now's the time. Okay?
Yeah, I wanna say something
to you. Get out.
Hold on a second.
- Whose Lex got the date with?
- Certain friend of yours.
[knocking on door]
Lex, come on,
open up, man.
It's me, Leo.
Come on, man. Open up.
- Hold on a minute.
- Come on, open up the door.
It's unlocked,
dummy. Get in here.
Okay, Lex, alright.
I'm in, I'm in.
I told you a thousand times to
walk like you got a purpose.
I just got another
call from those guys
about the Thermatron 14.
I told you, Leo, that if..
Ho-wow, that's
really rad, man.
But don't you think it's gone a
little bit too far with punk?
Superboy did this to me.
He knew there was titanium
and phosphorous in the lab.
You're gonna pay
for this, Superboy.
You're gonna pay.
[screaming]
(Lex)
I want you to contact
All three of 'em.
Way to go, Lex.
We're back on track.
Don't interrupt me, Leo.
Tell them that Thermatron 14
is available tomorrow morning
Wilson's Field, 9 a.m., sharp.
Are you listening? Good.
I'll need their top assassins
from each organization.
Say, cons or assassins?
Lex, I mean, if we're
talking money..
The money is just the
icing on the cake, Leo.
I'm talking, Hitmen.
Death. Superboy's death.
- Lana.
- Uh, hi, Lex.
Could you spare me
a few moments in private?
Of course.
Go, Schister!
Lana, I need a favor,
if you would grant it.
Consider it granted.
Isn't it a bit warm
to be wearing a hat?
Uh, Lex, why did you
shave your head?
Not shaved. I'm bald.
Oh, Lex.
Made bald, by
your friend, Superboy.
He would not do that.
Deliberately blew those
chemicals through my hair.
Killing the follicles.
You're not
being reasonable, Lex.
Damn right, I'm not
being reasonable.
Would you be reasonable,
if somebody deliberately
stole your hair?
On purpose, on purpose.
Well, why would he do that?
'Cause he hates me.
You all hate me.
No, Lex, you're wrong.
Don't you ever
tell me, I'm wrong.
You hate me.
You all hate me.
You! You, obnoxious brains.
You hate me because
I'm smarter than you.
Now, about that favor I want.
You tell Mr. Save Humanity,
Superboy that if he wants
the Thermatron 14,
it will be at Wilson's Medal
tomorrow morning.
Got it?
And give him this.
Never mind, it's
all I've got.
Lieutenant Harris called.
Wanted to know if you contacted
Superboy yet.
Not yet.
But I got a message
in the pipeline.
So, Lana, how did your
date go, last night?
Lex, hit me.
He did what?
He didn't hurt me.
And I was so sure that
he had well, changed.
Now I know why I'm
a romantic washout.
You've to belt a woman
to turn her on.
- Why did he hit you?
- She looks like his mother.
He totally freaked out.
Suddenly he's gone bald.
Bald? As in no hair. Bald.
How do you go bald overnight?
I don't know. He blames
Superboy for it.
Some wild nonsense about him
doing it to him deliberately.
I'm really confused.
Just yesterday he was
thanking Superboy
for saving his life.
I know.
Oh, he also has
a message for Superboy.
Tell me what? I'll try
to pass it onto him.
Bald?
[intense music]
Now, so that there is
no misunderstanding
let me repeat myself.
The one who kills Superboy
has first shot to buy the
Thermatron 14.
[horse neighing]
(Lex)
I like confidence in a killer.
Let me caution you, you'll be
facing no ordinary gladiator.
That's why I have
brought you an edge.
I call it..
sonic blaster.
I think you'll find it
very effective.
Lex! Look, it's Superboy.
[upbeat music]
This time you've gone
way too far, Lex.
Too far, Superboy?
No.
[buzzing]
Gentlemen, be my guest.
Lex, I was worried that
Superboy wouldn't be affected.
(Leo)
Well, you know, with the--
Looks like he's more
vulnerable than anybody else.
His super hearing
is so sensitive.
Aah!
Ah! Ah!
Cut it off, Lex.
You're killing the ninja.
What? And let
Superboy off the hook.
(Lex)
No way.
My ear, stop it,
stop it. Aah!
(Leo)
You killed him.
But it serves Superboy.
[upbeat music]
It's time to do the job myself.
Lex, let me help you.
Idiot.
[mellow music]
And why is it
that we fast, brothers?
To partake of the
suffering of mankind.
Be sure there is suffering.
The pains of hunger
and of the flesh
of the spirit.
And we will continue to fast
till the end of this month
in communion with our
tortured brothers
on this finite planet,
till we obtain infinity.
Yeah, brothers we will honor
this fast going through
our bodies and our spirits.
No food or water
will pass our lips.
And I say, Amen.
[soft music]
[dramatic music]
Let us, holy brother..
Let us pray for the day..
that we may do
unto Superboy.
And Superboy is done unto us.
Captioned by Grant Brown