Phineas and Ferb s01e28 Episode Script
The Best Lazy Day Ever (15 min)
Beat you to it again, slow poke.
Hey, Ferb.
Ready to build the fastest, safest, most on-time backyard railroad ever? All right! You man the boiler.
I'll handle the brakes.
Perry can be the station's mascot.
Wow.
It's really nice out today.
It's almost like everything in nature is simultaneously saying Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh.
You know, Ferb.
Everyday we do something really big.
But you know the one thing we haven't done? Relax.
I say we take advantage of this perfect day and have the best do-nothing day ever.
Hey, Stacy.
Yes, yes.
I'm ready for Jeremy's band's outdoor concert at the summer festival! Today's gonna be amazing! All right.
What gives? It's already 9 o'clock, and there's no construction noise, no delivery trucks, no- No nothing? They're just standing there.
Like statues.
Statues Good thinking, Ferb.
We'll put these decoys up so Candace thinks we're doing nothing.
And then when Candace isn't looking, we'll do something! Not today, they don't! Hi, boys.
Whatcha doin'? We're doing nothing today.
Well, I'm off to the festival to set up my tea cozy stand.
Bye! Bye, Mom! Hey, where's Perry? Oh, hey, Agent P.
Carl, give me a close up.
So, uh Anyway Stop Doofenshmirtz.
Hit it, Carl.
Hi, Candace.
I'm not here for "hi's".
Today is a pivotal moment in my life.
You see, Jeremy's band is gonna play at the festival.
Jeremy's gonna see me in the crowd.
Not just because I have front row seats, but because I'm gonna be cheering harder that anyone else.
Like this "WOO! YEAH! WOO! BABY! OH YEAH, SING IT!" Then we're gonna date through high school and college, marry and have two kids.
Xavier and Amanda.
So don't you dare ruin it with one of your little project thingies! No problem, Candace.
'Cause today we're doing nothing anyway.
And don't try to give me- Did you say "nothing"? Nothing.
Nothing? Nothing.
Standing is something.
Hmm.
Well, you can't do nothing forever.
And when you stop doing nothing, I'll start doing something, and that something will be busting you! Look at them plotting my downfall.
Hello? Mom! Phineas and Ferb are doing nothing! Nothing, in a relentless effort to ruin my day! Candace, honey, why can't you just relax, and let your brothers enjoy their do-nothing day? Could it really be possible? Could Phineas and Ferb actually be doing nothing? You're right, Mom.
I should just try and relax until Stacy picks me up for the concert.
Exactly.
Love ya.
Well, if they really are doing nothing, I guess I've got some time to go about my personal business.
Let's see What do I usually do? I know! I'll call Stacy and tell her how I'm busting Phineas and Ferb for- Oh, yeah.
Can't do that 'cause they're not doing anything.
Wait a minute! I know! I'll put this camera in just the right spot so when Phineas and Ferb are- Ugh! And then when Phineas and Ferb walk by I'll- Ugh! Well, if there's one thing I know, I'm gonna look sooo good when I bust them for- Ugh! Face it! You cant do anything unless you're trying to bust them for doing something.
And if they're doing nothing, then Who is Candace? Ah Hey, Phineas.
Is it the perfect day to build one of these or what? Sorry, Candace.
It's like we said.
We're pursuing the best do nothing day ever.
But if you put it in our inbox, we'll try to build it tomorrow.
Ugh! Huh, huh? Time traveling submarine? Come on! Candace, now you're just taking pages from our project book.
How can I inspire them to build something? Argh! Are you a boy, doing nothing with your stepbrother today? Do you like high adventure? Yeah! Then we have the product for you! It's the Amazing Man-Eating Dinosaur-Themed Totally Sick Waterslide of Doom! That's right, kids.
The Amazing Man-Eating Dinosaur-Themed Totally Sick Waterslide of Doom! Can be delivered in just minutes! And it's so easy to assemble, even a 5-year-old can build it! I did it! Call now! Well, that's the last of it.
By the way, aren't you a little too old to be building one of these? Why, yes.
Yes, I am.
Okay, I'll get this thing started.
And then because they're men, they'll want to take over and show me how to do it.
Then I'll call Mom and bust them! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus.
I'd like to introduce you to something.
Perry My Slow Motion-inator! This way, you're too slow to foil my evil scheme and I don't have to worry about capturing you.
Problem solved.
Anyway, let's get down to business.
I don't know if you've ever noticed, but I'm not exactly very Mmm, what do the kids call it these days? Handsome.
My doctor says it's genetic, but I don't blame my parents.
I blame everyone else in the entire Tri-State Area for being better-looking that me.
So, I invented this.
My Ugly-Inator! It harnesses the horned frog's unpleasant appearance to render it's target ugly! Let me give you a demonstration on handsome movie actor, Vance Ward.
Hi, I'm Vance Ward.
If it can turn him ugly, it can turn anything ugly.
Are you ready, Vance? I guess, but I didn't get a script.
I mean, what's my motivation in this scene? Motivation? Oh, I think it will be clear to you in a second.
Now onto the rest of the Tri-State Area! Oh, and Perry the Platypus You know what the best part of my plan is? I can do it from the comfort of my own living room! With my favorite flat-screen TV and recliner.
Ah Oh, hey, boys.
I see you're still doing nothing.
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just carrying a few construction supplies for a really huge super cool contraption.
You know, like the ones you used to build.
Well, I figured I'd get in on the fun today.
Oh! Pardon my reach! Just trying to get into the most convenient position to drive this stake into the ground.
Oh, yeah! I'm really having fun now! Uh, Candace? Oh, I know what you're gonna say.
Of course you can take over the whole operation.
Uh Actually, I was gonna ask if you could keep the noise down.
Uh Well, back onto the important things in life, like having fun! Remember when you used to have this much fun? All this fun could be yours too.
All you have to do is join me! Okay, okay, I-I don't want to brag, but Fun loves me more than it loves you right now.
Whoop! Yoo-hoo! Perry the Platypus! Come and get it! Oh, I forgot! You're too slow to catch me now! Oh! Duh! Of course! You were going for the Slow Motion-inato- Wait! Wait, no! Don't touch the reverse switch! You- You should see yourself! You're so ugly! Candace, where are you? It's time to go! Candace? Who's having fun now?! It's like boredom's a bad rash, and I'm a shot of cortisone! Candace, what are you doing? I've been trying to call you all afternoon! What does it look like?! I'm busting my brothers! But the concert's starting right now.
Jeremy! Oh, my gosh! I spent so much time busting my brothers, I forgot about the concert! Candace, what's happening? It didn't say anything in the instructions about being lifted up in the air! (Song: Do Nothing Day) Beautiful, kind and gentle And loving and softness and sweetness and candy and gum Peppermint and pink- (Song: Ugly) We're dead ugly We're so ugly We're ugly, yes, ugly We're so ugly I can't breathe It's hard to breathe Who are these guys? My lungs explode They must be the opening act! When I'm with- Oh no! Now I'm ugly! Oh.
Oh, I get it.
Hardy-har-har.
My autographed picture of Vance Ward! Oh, you've perverted my ugly invention with something beautiful! Thanks, whoever you are.
Now, get me out of here! -ly, I know- -s and bunnies and happy songs we can all hum What about my TV and chair? Get me off this thing! My balloon! Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Hey, boys, I'm home.
Oh, I see you're still enjoying your do nothing day.
Yeah, Mom.
It was the best lazy day ever.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Where am I? And with handsome movie actor Vance Ward.
He seems much faster on TV.
Come on! (Song: Do Nothing Day) Slow down and look around you All around Throw your To-Do list away The clouds look like sheep and vice versa On a do nothing day On a do nothing day Our do nothing day This is the best day ever!
Hey, Ferb.
Ready to build the fastest, safest, most on-time backyard railroad ever? All right! You man the boiler.
I'll handle the brakes.
Perry can be the station's mascot.
Wow.
It's really nice out today.
It's almost like everything in nature is simultaneously saying Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh.
You know, Ferb.
Everyday we do something really big.
But you know the one thing we haven't done? Relax.
I say we take advantage of this perfect day and have the best do-nothing day ever.
Hey, Stacy.
Yes, yes.
I'm ready for Jeremy's band's outdoor concert at the summer festival! Today's gonna be amazing! All right.
What gives? It's already 9 o'clock, and there's no construction noise, no delivery trucks, no- No nothing? They're just standing there.
Like statues.
Statues Good thinking, Ferb.
We'll put these decoys up so Candace thinks we're doing nothing.
And then when Candace isn't looking, we'll do something! Not today, they don't! Hi, boys.
Whatcha doin'? We're doing nothing today.
Well, I'm off to the festival to set up my tea cozy stand.
Bye! Bye, Mom! Hey, where's Perry? Oh, hey, Agent P.
Carl, give me a close up.
So, uh Anyway Stop Doofenshmirtz.
Hit it, Carl.
Hi, Candace.
I'm not here for "hi's".
Today is a pivotal moment in my life.
You see, Jeremy's band is gonna play at the festival.
Jeremy's gonna see me in the crowd.
Not just because I have front row seats, but because I'm gonna be cheering harder that anyone else.
Like this "WOO! YEAH! WOO! BABY! OH YEAH, SING IT!" Then we're gonna date through high school and college, marry and have two kids.
Xavier and Amanda.
So don't you dare ruin it with one of your little project thingies! No problem, Candace.
'Cause today we're doing nothing anyway.
And don't try to give me- Did you say "nothing"? Nothing.
Nothing? Nothing.
Standing is something.
Hmm.
Well, you can't do nothing forever.
And when you stop doing nothing, I'll start doing something, and that something will be busting you! Look at them plotting my downfall.
Hello? Mom! Phineas and Ferb are doing nothing! Nothing, in a relentless effort to ruin my day! Candace, honey, why can't you just relax, and let your brothers enjoy their do-nothing day? Could it really be possible? Could Phineas and Ferb actually be doing nothing? You're right, Mom.
I should just try and relax until Stacy picks me up for the concert.
Exactly.
Love ya.
Well, if they really are doing nothing, I guess I've got some time to go about my personal business.
Let's see What do I usually do? I know! I'll call Stacy and tell her how I'm busting Phineas and Ferb for- Oh, yeah.
Can't do that 'cause they're not doing anything.
Wait a minute! I know! I'll put this camera in just the right spot so when Phineas and Ferb are- Ugh! And then when Phineas and Ferb walk by I'll- Ugh! Well, if there's one thing I know, I'm gonna look sooo good when I bust them for- Ugh! Face it! You cant do anything unless you're trying to bust them for doing something.
And if they're doing nothing, then Who is Candace? Ah Hey, Phineas.
Is it the perfect day to build one of these or what? Sorry, Candace.
It's like we said.
We're pursuing the best do nothing day ever.
But if you put it in our inbox, we'll try to build it tomorrow.
Ugh! Huh, huh? Time traveling submarine? Come on! Candace, now you're just taking pages from our project book.
How can I inspire them to build something? Argh! Are you a boy, doing nothing with your stepbrother today? Do you like high adventure? Yeah! Then we have the product for you! It's the Amazing Man-Eating Dinosaur-Themed Totally Sick Waterslide of Doom! That's right, kids.
The Amazing Man-Eating Dinosaur-Themed Totally Sick Waterslide of Doom! Can be delivered in just minutes! And it's so easy to assemble, even a 5-year-old can build it! I did it! Call now! Well, that's the last of it.
By the way, aren't you a little too old to be building one of these? Why, yes.
Yes, I am.
Okay, I'll get this thing started.
And then because they're men, they'll want to take over and show me how to do it.
Then I'll call Mom and bust them! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus.
I'd like to introduce you to something.
Perry My Slow Motion-inator! This way, you're too slow to foil my evil scheme and I don't have to worry about capturing you.
Problem solved.
Anyway, let's get down to business.
I don't know if you've ever noticed, but I'm not exactly very Mmm, what do the kids call it these days? Handsome.
My doctor says it's genetic, but I don't blame my parents.
I blame everyone else in the entire Tri-State Area for being better-looking that me.
So, I invented this.
My Ugly-Inator! It harnesses the horned frog's unpleasant appearance to render it's target ugly! Let me give you a demonstration on handsome movie actor, Vance Ward.
Hi, I'm Vance Ward.
If it can turn him ugly, it can turn anything ugly.
Are you ready, Vance? I guess, but I didn't get a script.
I mean, what's my motivation in this scene? Motivation? Oh, I think it will be clear to you in a second.
Now onto the rest of the Tri-State Area! Oh, and Perry the Platypus You know what the best part of my plan is? I can do it from the comfort of my own living room! With my favorite flat-screen TV and recliner.
Ah Oh, hey, boys.
I see you're still doing nothing.
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just carrying a few construction supplies for a really huge super cool contraption.
You know, like the ones you used to build.
Well, I figured I'd get in on the fun today.
Oh! Pardon my reach! Just trying to get into the most convenient position to drive this stake into the ground.
Oh, yeah! I'm really having fun now! Uh, Candace? Oh, I know what you're gonna say.
Of course you can take over the whole operation.
Uh Actually, I was gonna ask if you could keep the noise down.
Uh Well, back onto the important things in life, like having fun! Remember when you used to have this much fun? All this fun could be yours too.
All you have to do is join me! Okay, okay, I-I don't want to brag, but Fun loves me more than it loves you right now.
Whoop! Yoo-hoo! Perry the Platypus! Come and get it! Oh, I forgot! You're too slow to catch me now! Oh! Duh! Of course! You were going for the Slow Motion-inato- Wait! Wait, no! Don't touch the reverse switch! You- You should see yourself! You're so ugly! Candace, where are you? It's time to go! Candace? Who's having fun now?! It's like boredom's a bad rash, and I'm a shot of cortisone! Candace, what are you doing? I've been trying to call you all afternoon! What does it look like?! I'm busting my brothers! But the concert's starting right now.
Jeremy! Oh, my gosh! I spent so much time busting my brothers, I forgot about the concert! Candace, what's happening? It didn't say anything in the instructions about being lifted up in the air! (Song: Do Nothing Day) Beautiful, kind and gentle And loving and softness and sweetness and candy and gum Peppermint and pink- (Song: Ugly) We're dead ugly We're so ugly We're ugly, yes, ugly We're so ugly I can't breathe It's hard to breathe Who are these guys? My lungs explode They must be the opening act! When I'm with- Oh no! Now I'm ugly! Oh.
Oh, I get it.
Hardy-har-har.
My autographed picture of Vance Ward! Oh, you've perverted my ugly invention with something beautiful! Thanks, whoever you are.
Now, get me out of here! -ly, I know- -s and bunnies and happy songs we can all hum What about my TV and chair? Get me off this thing! My balloon! Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Hey, boys, I'm home.
Oh, I see you're still enjoying your do nothing day.
Yeah, Mom.
It was the best lazy day ever.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
Where am I? And with handsome movie actor Vance Ward.
He seems much faster on TV.
Come on! (Song: Do Nothing Day) Slow down and look around you All around Throw your To-Do list away The clouds look like sheep and vice versa On a do nothing day On a do nothing day Our do nothing day This is the best day ever!