The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! (1989) s01e28 Episode Script
Fake Bro/Mario and Joliet
Hey Paisanos!
it's the Super Mario
Brother's Super Show!
We're the Mario Brothers,
and plumbing's our game, ♪
we're not like the
others who get all the fame. ♪
If your sink is in trouble
you can call us on the double, ♪
we're faster than the
others you'll be hooked on the ♪
brothers Unh!
H-hooked on the brothers.
Gimme gimme, gimme gimme.
Yo, you're in for a treat,
so hang on to your seat, ♪
get ready for adventure
and remarkable feats. ♪
You'll meet Koopas, the
Troopas the Princess and the ♪
others, hanging with the
plumbers you'll be hooked on ♪
the brothers.
To the brink!
Unh!
Unh!
I say h-h-h-h-hooked
on the brothers! ♪
The brothers!
The brothers! ♪
Wrench.
Wrench.
Screwdriver.
Screwdriver.
Rag.
Rag.
Ooh, sorry Clog.
Rag.
Stranger.
Stranger, str-stranger!?
Who are you?
Someone from the past,
you don't remember me?
Are you kidding?
Come on, Mario,
Mario, come on Luigi.
You don't recognize me?
You don't see the
family resemblance?
Family?
I'm the son no
one ever mentioned,
for fear of bringing
grief, to our dear Mama.
I'm your long lost
brother, Pietro.
Yo, yo!
It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game, ♪
found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain, ♪
lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land. ♪
Comin' atcha
with the plumbers, ♪
you'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪
Noooooow, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving, ♪
they kidnapped the princess;
Mushroom Land needs saving. ♪
Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers, ♪
they can't help but be
hooked on the brothers! ♪
Unh! ♪
Plumber's
Log, number 1601.
We arrived in the
Land of Romance,
only things weren't quite
so lovey dovey as usual.
We were answering
a call for help,
from a friend of
Princess Toadstool.
But right now we
were the ones,
who needed help.
Looks like we landed in
the middle of a feud!
Beezos!
Jump for it!
We've gotta find
my friend Joliet,
maybe she can tell us
what this feud is about.
Actually, I kind
of like it here.
Ahhh!
On second thought,
I'll stick with you guys!
Whoa!
Looks like a no exit, dudes.
Gallopin' garlic!
Look!
Uh oh, looks like we
landed in tough tortellini.
Whoaaa!
Ohhh.
We were a noodle away
from disaster that time!
Princess, I knew you'd come.
Joliet, what's
going on up there?
Romano and I were
about to be married,
when the Koopa came to our
world and started a feud
between our two families.
Hey, that Koopa's a
real party pooper.
Now our fathers
hate each other,
and will never let us marry.
We don't know what to do.
Well, as their
official Princess,
maybe I can do
something to stop this.
Ah.
They're still goin' at it.
[whistles]
I want Romano and
Joliet's fathers,
front and center!
I'm Joliet's
father, what's it to you?
I'm Romano's father,
who do you think you are,
Princess Toadstool?
That's exactly who
she is, feudin' dudes.
Your two children love each
other and want to get married!
Nothing doing!
Not in a zillion years!
She's not asking
you, she's telling you!
[gulp]
[sigh]
By royal decree, I
order this feud ended!
Romano and Joliet are
going to be married!
[chattering]
Now shake on it!
This is one wedding
Koopa's really gonna cry at!
[Koopa:] Cursed crocodiles!
That budinski
Princess is at it again!
You gotta stop this wedding!
Don't I know it?
I've made a fortune
supplying Albatosses,
Snifits and Bob-ombs
to those feuding fools.
If the fighting
stops, I'll go broke!
What you need to do, is
reflect on the problem.
But what can I do?
Why don't ya kidnap Joliet and
blame it on Romano's family?
What a wonderfully evil idea!
Ha ha.
That'd start the
feud all over again!
[laughs]
Brilliant!
I knew you'd
think of somethin'.
Shake your veil bridal babe!
The wedding's waitin'!
I'm almost ready.
Here comes the bride!
Ahh!
[squawking]
Ahh!
Hey!
Help!
Put me down!
Ahh!
Uh oh!
There goes the bride!
Joliet's been kidnapped!
[gasps]
Hmph.
I knew you'd pull
something like this,
dirtball!
I didn't do
anything, nincompoop!
The feud is on!
The feud is on!
We've had it guys!
This feud's really
bringing down the house!
On us!
[Luigi:] Terrible tortellini!
We're gonna be crushed!
Not if I can help it!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
We've got to find my Joliet!
Who could've kidnapped her?
There's only one villain
rotten enough to pull such a
nasty stunt!
Koopa!
Come on!
[Luigi:] Look!
The moat's
filled with Trouters!
How are we ever
going to get across?
By getting things rolling!
Yippee!
[gasp]
Come on gang!
Let's hop to it!
Whoa!
Whoaaaa!
Yeow!
Whoaaaa!
Whoaa!
Yipe!
Yeow!
[panting]
Now you got the hang of it!
Whoa!
Whoaaa!
[Toad:] It's a net!
Annette Funicello?
Where?
[sigh]
Romano, Romano.
Where the heck
art thou, Romano?
[Koopa:] He's right here!
Umph.
Umph.
[gasp]
Yeow!
Yeow!
Trapped like hair in a drain.
And Grunt, my Super Troopa,
will make sure ya stay that
way!
So long sewer scum!
[laughs]
Oh Romano, parting
was such sweet sorrow!
[Mario:] How're we gonna
get past that muscle-bound
meatball?
Hey, I got a bodacious idea!
He don't look so strong to me!
[grunt]
Big deal!
I knew a Troopa who
could lift two dumbbells!
[grunting]
[laughs]
Nah!
I knew a Troopa who
could lift three dumbbells.
[grunting]
That's great Toad!
Just one problem;
he had the key!
What a dumbbell!
[Joliet:] We will
escape, we won't escape.
We will escape, look!
Joliet's bridal bouquet
is made of Fire Flowers!
Fantastic fettuccine!
Way to go, Super Mario!
Let's get outta here!
Uh oh!
[gasps]
Trouble in Koopa City!
Koopa Pack, attack!
So much for the
great escape, dudes.
Find another way out!
I'll give these Koopa
clowns a taste of pasta power!
Whoaaa!
Whoaaa!
Whoaaa!
Whoa!
Whoaaa!
Ahhhhh!
[laughs]
Whoaaa!
[growls]
[Princess:] I now
pronounce you,
man and wife!
Guess we learned our lesson.
Yeah.
Our children's happiness is
more important than our feud.
[crying]
I always cry at weddings.
I always cry at
wedding feasts!
Well, looks like these dudes
are gonna live happily ever
after!
What do you mean the kids
are gonna live with you?
The kids are
gonna live with me!
Over my dead body!
The feud is on!
Ha!
[gasp]
[gasp]
Now this is my kind of feud!
How come Mama never
told us about you?
I mean I would think she
would've mentioned something.
She was ashamed of me.
I was the black
sheep of the family.
Against her wishes, I left
home when yous guys was little
bambinos.
That's why, I've made
my way around the world,
but I miss my
family: I miss you Mario,
I miss you Luigi, I
miss the family business.
That's why I've come back,
to take over the whole Mario
Brothers Plumbing business.
Hey, welcome back brother.
Eh, not so fast ah?
Yo Pietro, what's
Mama's maiden name?
Rigati.
Alright, what's the shape of
the birthmark on Mario's left
knee?
There is no
birthmark on Mario's knee,
it's on his big toe.
And Luigi, you remember
you had a little teddy bear,
called Mr. Tough.
See?
I know, I know!
It's so good to be
back with my family,
I can't wait to
sell the business,
so that we can spend
more time together ah?
Here.
We need some time to
find a good lawyer.
Right, so why don't you take a
look at these scenes from the
next, Legend of Zelda.
It's under L I think huh?
This is the
Triforce of Wisdom Link,
the evil Wizard Ganon
has the Triforce of Power.
[laughter]
[Zelda:] Whoever gets both
Triforces will rule this land
forever, you
must help me Link!
Hey, for you Zelda?
Anything!
Link, look!
The Triforce of Power!
If we can get that, Ganon
will be defeated forever!
Go for it Princess.
You'll pay for that pipsqueak!
Ugh!
Can't move.
On my way Princess!
[laughs]
I have captured the
castle, and with it,
the Triforce of Wisdom!
Now I can conquer Hyrule,
destroy that pipsqueak Link,
and make Zelda my Queen!
[Gaepora:] Oh dear, and it
started out as such a nice day
too.
Pff, are you kiddin' me?
Forget about it.
Who does this guy think he
is selling our business?
This is our business.
But wait a minute Luigi,
Pietro's our older brother.
Yea, that's what he says.
But Mario, I'll
tell ya one thing,
me, I'm calling Mama.
[Pietro:] Ha ha,
there, that's everything.
In my opinion we could
sell the fixtures tomorrow,
and the rest of the
stuff, by the end of the week.
And then we split the
money in half: seventy,
thirty.
Wait, wait, wait a
minute, that's not fair!
Alright, thirty for
you, and seventy for me.
Oh, that's more like it.
[ring]
Mario Brothers Plumbing,
you clog 'em we clear 'em.
[chattering]
Huh?
What?
IRS?
[chattering]
What do you mean
we owe $900,000
in back taxes are you crazy?
This is a family business
there's only three of us here.
[chattering]
Nine-hundred thousand?
That means we owe,
three into 900, 000
three into--
That's $300,000 a piece!
Well, so long!
Wait, well wait a minute
Pietro where you going?
It's a family crisis!
I just remembered, I'm not
your long lost brother ok?
I got all that information
about you guys from the who's
who of plumbing.
I just needed a
little extra cash.
Well, ah, good luck.
Have fun paying your taxes!
[Luigi:] Ciao, arrivederci!
[laughing]
W-w-wait a minute, what
are you laughin' about?
What are you laughin' about?
We owe about a
million dollars in taxes.
Will you take it easy?
We don't owe nothing.
You know when I
was on the phone?
The pizza parlor,
our pizza's ready.
You mean we--
Yea, yea, yea, yea,
what I mean is, that I just out
wised the wise guy that's all.
Eh Luigi, you're smart.
[laughs]
Mario, come on.
You know what?
We're gonna go to
the pizza parlor,
and I'm gonna split
that pizza with you,
even right down the
middle seventy thirty;
seventy for me,
thirty for you.
Whoa wait, wait,
wait a minute,
no, no, no, no, no.
Seventy for you,
thirty for me!
Mario, that's why I love you.
'Til next time everybody!
Do the Mario!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪
come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step,
and then again. ♪
Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪
You've got it!
It's the Mario!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪
come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step,
and then again. ♪
Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪
Come on now, it's
just like that! ♪
it's the Super Mario
Brother's Super Show!
We're the Mario Brothers,
and plumbing's our game, ♪
we're not like the
others who get all the fame. ♪
If your sink is in trouble
you can call us on the double, ♪
we're faster than the
others you'll be hooked on the ♪
brothers Unh!
H-hooked on the brothers.
Gimme gimme, gimme gimme.
Yo, you're in for a treat,
so hang on to your seat, ♪
get ready for adventure
and remarkable feats. ♪
You'll meet Koopas, the
Troopas the Princess and the ♪
others, hanging with the
plumbers you'll be hooked on ♪
the brothers.
To the brink!
Unh!
Unh!
I say h-h-h-h-hooked
on the brothers! ♪
The brothers!
The brothers! ♪
Wrench.
Wrench.
Screwdriver.
Screwdriver.
Rag.
Rag.
Ooh, sorry Clog.
Rag.
Stranger.
Stranger, str-stranger!?
Who are you?
Someone from the past,
you don't remember me?
Are you kidding?
Come on, Mario,
Mario, come on Luigi.
You don't recognize me?
You don't see the
family resemblance?
Family?
I'm the son no
one ever mentioned,
for fear of bringing
grief, to our dear Mama.
I'm your long lost
brother, Pietro.
Yo, yo!
It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game, ♪
found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain, ♪
lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land. ♪
Comin' atcha
with the plumbers, ♪
you'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪
Noooooow, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving, ♪
they kidnapped the princess;
Mushroom Land needs saving. ♪
Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers, ♪
they can't help but be
hooked on the brothers! ♪
Unh! ♪
Plumber's
Log, number 1601.
We arrived in the
Land of Romance,
only things weren't quite
so lovey dovey as usual.
We were answering
a call for help,
from a friend of
Princess Toadstool.
But right now we
were the ones,
who needed help.
Looks like we landed in
the middle of a feud!
Beezos!
Jump for it!
We've gotta find
my friend Joliet,
maybe she can tell us
what this feud is about.
Actually, I kind
of like it here.
Ahhh!
On second thought,
I'll stick with you guys!
Whoa!
Looks like a no exit, dudes.
Gallopin' garlic!
Look!
Uh oh, looks like we
landed in tough tortellini.
Whoaaa!
Ohhh.
We were a noodle away
from disaster that time!
Princess, I knew you'd come.
Joliet, what's
going on up there?
Romano and I were
about to be married,
when the Koopa came to our
world and started a feud
between our two families.
Hey, that Koopa's a
real party pooper.
Now our fathers
hate each other,
and will never let us marry.
We don't know what to do.
Well, as their
official Princess,
maybe I can do
something to stop this.
Ah.
They're still goin' at it.
[whistles]
I want Romano and
Joliet's fathers,
front and center!
I'm Joliet's
father, what's it to you?
I'm Romano's father,
who do you think you are,
Princess Toadstool?
That's exactly who
she is, feudin' dudes.
Your two children love each
other and want to get married!
Nothing doing!
Not in a zillion years!
She's not asking
you, she's telling you!
[gulp]
[sigh]
By royal decree, I
order this feud ended!
Romano and Joliet are
going to be married!
[chattering]
Now shake on it!
This is one wedding
Koopa's really gonna cry at!
[Koopa:] Cursed crocodiles!
That budinski
Princess is at it again!
You gotta stop this wedding!
Don't I know it?
I've made a fortune
supplying Albatosses,
Snifits and Bob-ombs
to those feuding fools.
If the fighting
stops, I'll go broke!
What you need to do, is
reflect on the problem.
But what can I do?
Why don't ya kidnap Joliet and
blame it on Romano's family?
What a wonderfully evil idea!
Ha ha.
That'd start the
feud all over again!
[laughs]
Brilliant!
I knew you'd
think of somethin'.
Shake your veil bridal babe!
The wedding's waitin'!
I'm almost ready.
Here comes the bride!
Ahh!
[squawking]
Ahh!
Hey!
Help!
Put me down!
Ahh!
Uh oh!
There goes the bride!
Joliet's been kidnapped!
[gasps]
Hmph.
I knew you'd pull
something like this,
dirtball!
I didn't do
anything, nincompoop!
The feud is on!
The feud is on!
We've had it guys!
This feud's really
bringing down the house!
On us!
[Luigi:] Terrible tortellini!
We're gonna be crushed!
Not if I can help it!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
We've got to find my Joliet!
Who could've kidnapped her?
There's only one villain
rotten enough to pull such a
nasty stunt!
Koopa!
Come on!
[Luigi:] Look!
The moat's
filled with Trouters!
How are we ever
going to get across?
By getting things rolling!
Yippee!
[gasp]
Come on gang!
Let's hop to it!
Whoa!
Whoaaaa!
Yeow!
Whoaaaa!
Whoaa!
Yipe!
Yeow!
[panting]
Now you got the hang of it!
Whoa!
Whoaaa!
[Toad:] It's a net!
Annette Funicello?
Where?
[sigh]
Romano, Romano.
Where the heck
art thou, Romano?
[Koopa:] He's right here!
Umph.
Umph.
[gasp]
Yeow!
Yeow!
Trapped like hair in a drain.
And Grunt, my Super Troopa,
will make sure ya stay that
way!
So long sewer scum!
[laughs]
Oh Romano, parting
was such sweet sorrow!
[Mario:] How're we gonna
get past that muscle-bound
meatball?
Hey, I got a bodacious idea!
He don't look so strong to me!
[grunt]
Big deal!
I knew a Troopa who
could lift two dumbbells!
[grunting]
[laughs]
Nah!
I knew a Troopa who
could lift three dumbbells.
[grunting]
That's great Toad!
Just one problem;
he had the key!
What a dumbbell!
[Joliet:] We will
escape, we won't escape.
We will escape, look!
Joliet's bridal bouquet
is made of Fire Flowers!
Fantastic fettuccine!
Way to go, Super Mario!
Let's get outta here!
Uh oh!
[gasps]
Trouble in Koopa City!
Koopa Pack, attack!
So much for the
great escape, dudes.
Find another way out!
I'll give these Koopa
clowns a taste of pasta power!
Whoaaa!
Whoaaa!
Whoaaa!
Whoa!
Whoaaa!
Ahhhhh!
[laughs]
Whoaaa!
[growls]
[Princess:] I now
pronounce you,
man and wife!
Guess we learned our lesson.
Yeah.
Our children's happiness is
more important than our feud.
[crying]
I always cry at weddings.
I always cry at
wedding feasts!
Well, looks like these dudes
are gonna live happily ever
after!
What do you mean the kids
are gonna live with you?
The kids are
gonna live with me!
Over my dead body!
The feud is on!
Ha!
[gasp]
[gasp]
Now this is my kind of feud!
How come Mama never
told us about you?
I mean I would think she
would've mentioned something.
She was ashamed of me.
I was the black
sheep of the family.
Against her wishes, I left
home when yous guys was little
bambinos.
That's why, I've made
my way around the world,
but I miss my
family: I miss you Mario,
I miss you Luigi, I
miss the family business.
That's why I've come back,
to take over the whole Mario
Brothers Plumbing business.
Hey, welcome back brother.
Eh, not so fast ah?
Yo Pietro, what's
Mama's maiden name?
Rigati.
Alright, what's the shape of
the birthmark on Mario's left
knee?
There is no
birthmark on Mario's knee,
it's on his big toe.
And Luigi, you remember
you had a little teddy bear,
called Mr. Tough.
See?
I know, I know!
It's so good to be
back with my family,
I can't wait to
sell the business,
so that we can spend
more time together ah?
Here.
We need some time to
find a good lawyer.
Right, so why don't you take a
look at these scenes from the
next, Legend of Zelda.
It's under L I think huh?
This is the
Triforce of Wisdom Link,
the evil Wizard Ganon
has the Triforce of Power.
[laughter]
[Zelda:] Whoever gets both
Triforces will rule this land
forever, you
must help me Link!
Hey, for you Zelda?
Anything!
Link, look!
The Triforce of Power!
If we can get that, Ganon
will be defeated forever!
Go for it Princess.
You'll pay for that pipsqueak!
Ugh!
Can't move.
On my way Princess!
[laughs]
I have captured the
castle, and with it,
the Triforce of Wisdom!
Now I can conquer Hyrule,
destroy that pipsqueak Link,
and make Zelda my Queen!
[Gaepora:] Oh dear, and it
started out as such a nice day
too.
Pff, are you kiddin' me?
Forget about it.
Who does this guy think he
is selling our business?
This is our business.
But wait a minute Luigi,
Pietro's our older brother.
Yea, that's what he says.
But Mario, I'll
tell ya one thing,
me, I'm calling Mama.
[Pietro:] Ha ha,
there, that's everything.
In my opinion we could
sell the fixtures tomorrow,
and the rest of the
stuff, by the end of the week.
And then we split the
money in half: seventy,
thirty.
Wait, wait, wait a
minute, that's not fair!
Alright, thirty for
you, and seventy for me.
Oh, that's more like it.
[ring]
Mario Brothers Plumbing,
you clog 'em we clear 'em.
[chattering]
Huh?
What?
IRS?
[chattering]
What do you mean
we owe $900,000
in back taxes are you crazy?
This is a family business
there's only three of us here.
[chattering]
Nine-hundred thousand?
That means we owe,
three into 900, 000
three into--
That's $300,000 a piece!
Well, so long!
Wait, well wait a minute
Pietro where you going?
It's a family crisis!
I just remembered, I'm not
your long lost brother ok?
I got all that information
about you guys from the who's
who of plumbing.
I just needed a
little extra cash.
Well, ah, good luck.
Have fun paying your taxes!
[Luigi:] Ciao, arrivederci!
[laughing]
W-w-wait a minute, what
are you laughin' about?
What are you laughin' about?
We owe about a
million dollars in taxes.
Will you take it easy?
We don't owe nothing.
You know when I
was on the phone?
The pizza parlor,
our pizza's ready.
You mean we--
Yea, yea, yea, yea,
what I mean is, that I just out
wised the wise guy that's all.
Eh Luigi, you're smart.
[laughs]
Mario, come on.
You know what?
We're gonna go to
the pizza parlor,
and I'm gonna split
that pizza with you,
even right down the
middle seventy thirty;
seventy for me,
thirty for you.
Whoa wait, wait,
wait a minute,
no, no, no, no, no.
Seventy for you,
thirty for me!
Mario, that's why I love you.
'Til next time everybody!
Do the Mario!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪
come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step,
and then again. ♪
Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪
You've got it!
It's the Mario!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪
come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step,
and then again. ♪
Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪
Come on now, it's
just like that! ♪