Animaniacs (1993) s01e29 Episode Script
Little Old Slappy from Pasadena / La La Law / Cat on a Hot Steel Beam / Space Probed
[NARRATOR.]
DATELINE--HOLLYWOOD.
1930.
THE WARNER BROTHERS STUDIO.
HERE AT THE STUDIO'S ANIMATION DEPARTMENT, THE ARTISTS TOILED ENDLESSLY TO COME UP WITH CARTOON STARS ULTIMATELY CREATING THREE NEW CHARACTERS-- THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THEIR SISTER DOT.
HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! UNFORTUNATELY, THE WARNER KIDS WERE TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! THE TRIO RAN AMUCK THROUGHOUT THE STUDIO UNTIL THEIR CAPTURE.
THE WARNERS' FILMS, WHICH MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, WERE LOCKED AWAY, NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
AS FOR THE WARNERS THEMSELVES, THEY WERE LOCKED AWAY IN THE STUDIO WATER TOWER, ALSO NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
PUBLICLY THE STUDIO HAS DISAVOWED ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WARNERS' EXISTENCE TO THIS VERY DAY WHEN THE WARNERS ESCAPED.
IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY [WATER FLUSHES.]
THE WARNERS HAVE ESCAPED! CATCH THEM! LALLY-DALLY-LOO LALLY-DALLY-LEE YOU CAN'T CATCH US WE'RE THE WARNERS THREE SHUSH.
TAG.
YOU'RE IT.
[RASPBERRY.]
I-I CAUGHT 'EM, DOC.
I-I GOT 'EM.
GOOD FOR YOU.
GOOD FOR ME.
YOU GOT ME, YOU BIG DUMMY! UMTHERE THEY ARE.
GET THEM! RALPH, YOU TAKE THE BACK.
MISS NURSE, YOU TAKE-- MY BREATH AWAY.
YOU TAKE THE SIDE.
I'LL GO IN THE FRONT.
OHHH! GOODBYE, NURSE! I-I GOTCHA! UHNOT.
WE'LL HIDE HERE UNTIL THE COAST IS CLEAR.
[APPLAUSE.]
OOH, A MAGIC SHOW.
THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN.
FRANZ SHUBER INTENDED THIS SCHERZO TO REFLECT THE STRUGGLE BETWEEN INTELLEC AND THE CREATIVE PROCESS.
AHH.
I DON'T THINK HE'S A MAGICIAN.
THIS IS JUS A SETUP.
MISTER, PULL A RABBI OUT OF YOUR PANTS.
SHH! SHH! WHAT ARE YOU, LEAKY TIRES? HOWEVER, SHUBERT WAS SIMPLY INCAPABLE OF EXPRESSING SUCH A DELICATE NUANCE.
BUT, THANKS TO MY GENIUS, I WILL PERFORM THIS GREAT WORK, NOT AS THE COMPOSER WROTE IT, BUT AS HE INTENDED.
SHUBERT'S INTERMEZZO ANDANTE ALLEGRO OPUS 9.
WE'RE OUTTA HERE.
EXCUSE US.
COMING THROUGH.
MAKE WAY.
PARDON US.
GANGWAY.
GOTTA GO.
COMING THROUGH.
UH-OH.
HIT REVERSE, SIBS.
SU NODRAP.
YAW EKAM.
HGUORTH GNIMOC.
SU ESUCXE.
YAWGMAG.
OG ATTOG.
[SHOES SQUEAK.]
THE CONCERT HAS BEGUN.
TAKE YOUR SEATS! YOUR MOTHER USED PAMPERS.
ONCE AGAIN, THE SHUBERT.
[CRACKING.]
[CRUNCHING.]
CARAMEL CORN? DON'T MIND IF I DO.
TAFFY? 'KAY.
ALL OF IT.
AAH! DISGUSTING! THE SHUBERT.
[BLOWING.]
NOW, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
[APPLAUSE.]
VERY PETE TOWNSEND-ESQUE.
WHO? EXACTLY.
OOH! OOH! OOH! YES, WELL FOR MY NEXT NUMBER, LUDWIG VON PLOTZBURGER'S MOST COMPELLING MUSICAL ACCOMPLISHMENT.
REGRETFULLY, ONLY A SOPHISTICATED EAR AS MINE OWN CAN FULLY APPRECIATE THE DEPTH OF THIS MASTERPIECE.
COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE CONCENTRATION IS REQUIRED.
VON PLOTZBURGER'S PAVAN AND DIRGE IN C-MINOR, OPUS 7 AND ELEVEN.
[SNORING.]
BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! ENCORE! ENCORE! [WHISTLES.]
AH, SO THERE YOU IS.
I-I CAUGHT 'EM NOW, DOC.
GOOD JOB, RALPHIE.
LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
VAS IS DAS? OHHH! BUT WHERE ARE ZE WARNER BROTHERS? 'TWAS A GUY NAMED JOE FROM KOKOMO PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG WHEE! HE BANGED THE KEYS WITH HIS HEAD AND HIS KNEES PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG HE TWIDDLED WITH THIS TOES AND HE DIDDLED WITH HIS NOSE PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG AND WHEN THE DAY WAS DONE HE HAD SOME FUN PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG HE WAS PLAYIN' THAT PIANO RAG [THUNDER.]
THANK YOU.
KEEP THE CHANGE.
EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE TO, UH GIVE, UH RETURN, UH SPIT IT OUT, SISTER.
TAKE THIS CAT! IT'S JUST NO WORKING OUT.
I THOUGHT I'D LIKE HAVING A CAT.
I THOUGHT SHE'D BE GOOD COMPANY.
I JUST WENT THROUGH A HORRIBLE BREAKUP.
[SNIFFS.]
EEEUWW, MAN.
IT'S JUST SHE'S SO INDEPENDENT.
SHE'D JUST SI AND STARE AT ME LIKE SHE'S BETTER THAN ME OR SOMETHING.
YOU UNDERSTAND.
I WANT A PET WHO'LL COME WHEN I CALL, CUDDLE ME AFTER A BAD DAY.
HAVE A KID, LADY.
AAH! OHH WOOF! WOOF! SLOW DOWN.
SLOW DOWN, WILL YOU? RUFF! I SPENT 700 BUCKS TRYING TO POTTY-TRAIN THIS DOG, AND HE STILL WON' GO ON THE PAPER.
MY KID REALLY WANTED A DOG, BUT THIS THING'S EATEN EVERY PAIR OF SHOES I OWN.
HE COMPLETELY DESTROYED A $4,000 PURE TEAK TIMBERKIDS PLAY SET.
HE CHEWED I TO BITS.
OH, I HATE DOGS.
GOSH, WHAT A NICE GUY.
[SNIFFING.]
WHO'S THERE? WHERE? ALL RIGHT, BUB, WHO ARE YOU? MY NAME'S RUNT, BUT MY MASTER CALLS ME STUPID.
WHAT A NICE GUY.
WHO ARE YOU? NAME'S RITA.
FIRST TIME IN THE JOINT? YUP.
WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR? WETTING ON THE CARPET.
YOU? SAME AS ALWAYS-- BEING TOO HIP FOR THE ROOM.
OH.
[SNORING.]
OH, HERE COMES A TICKET TO FREEDOM.
MAKE WITH THE SAD EYES.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING CUTE, SOMETHING INDEPENDENT.
OH, THAT'S IT! OH, IT'S ADORABLE! OH! [COUGH.]
OH.
COME TO MAMA.
HUMANS.
GO FIG.
YEAH, AIN'T THEY GREAT? WHO ELSE WOULD ADOPT A RAT? [DOOR SHUTS.]
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? SOON WE'LL BE SLEEPING THE BIG SLEEP.
I COULD USE A NAP.
THEY'RE GOING TO GAS US! WE'LL BE DEAD.
I DON'T THINK I'M THAT TIRED.
YOU'RE NOT A VERY SMART CAT, HUH? NOPE.
WELL, AT LEAS YOU'RE HONEST.
[YAWN.]
WHAT'S A HUMAN GOOD FOR, ANYWAY? THEY PET YOU WHEN YOU'RE SAD.
THEY SMACK YOU WHEN YOU'RE BAD.
WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY, THEY DEFINITELY FEED YOU.
YEAH, ON VACATIONS THEY LEAVE YOU WITH HARDLY NO FOOD.
RING A BELL, DUDE? [WHIMPERS.]
EXACTLY MY POINT.
HUMANS AIN' WHAT THEY SEEM TO BE THEY DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME NO, NOT MUCH AT ALL WHEN YOU'RE LITTLE AND TINY THEY PE YOUR CUTE HEINIE BUT THEN WHEN YOU GROW IT'S A SIMPLE NO-SHOW IT'S SHOO-SHOO OFF THIS AND DON'T YOU DARE SCRATCH ON THAT IF THEY CALL YOU AT ALL IT'S ALWAYS "DUMB CAT" HUMANS AIN' WHAT THEY SEEM TO BE THEY DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME NO, NOT MUCH AT ALL BUT WHEN IT'S ALL DARK AND QUIET I TRY HARD TO FIGHT IT BUT I DREAM OF HOME THEN I WON' HAVE TO ROAM SOMEONE TO FEED ME AND PUT ME TO BED AND SCRATCH ME JUST SO ON TOP OF MY HEAD BUT I AIN' GONNA LOVE 'EM NOT GONNA ANSWER THAT CALL 'CAUSE HUMANS DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME NO NOT MUCH AT ALL [SIGH.]
WHO KNEW? HEY, UH IT'S BEEN NICE MAKING YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.
IF I MADE IT, I'M GLAD IT WAS NICE.
UH, HEY, IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, JUST WHISTLE.
[WHISTLING POP GOES THE WEASEL.]
ME AND MY OVERUSED CLICHES.
LET'S ASSUME THE APPARENT.
YOU WANT ME TO BUST YOU OUT.
IF I DON'T, IT'LL PLAY ON MY CONSCIENCE LIKE AN OUT-OF-TUNE ACCORDION.
ONCE I SPRING YOU, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
WOOF! WOOF? YOU'RE A DOG! SO ARE YOU.
YOU'RE A GOOD DOG, RITA, A REALLY GOOD DOG.
I AM A CAT.
A CAT? A CAT? WHERE? WHERE'S A CAT? WHERE'S THE FURRY FELINE? I'LL CHOMP I TO BITS.
GRRR! GRRR! AW, NEVER MIND.
LET'S AMSCRAY.
BREAK IT UP.
TROUBLEMAKERS, HUH? LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO SEPARATE YOU TWO.
GRRRWOOF! I HATE GOVERNMENT JOBS.
HEY, LASSIE! YOU CAN STOP NOW.
HEEL, BOY! [THWACK.]
[SIGH.]
DOGS.
THAT WAS A PRETTY CHIVALROUS THING YOU DID BACK THERE.
REALLY? GEE, I'M SORRY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PAL AROUND TOGETHER FOR A WHILE TILL WE FIND A HOME? THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC.
BUT WHEN WE EACH FIND HOMES I DON'T KNOW YOU.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
DEAL? I DON'T HAVE ANY CARDS.
HIT THE ROAD, EINSTEIN.
HEY, RITA, LOOK AT ALL THE TREES! WHAT HAVE I STARTED? DO OTHER DOGS KNOW ALL ABOUT THESE TREES? THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
SMELL THIS ONE, RITA.
THIS ONE SMELLS LIKE CHEESE.
DEFINITELY A CHEESE TREE.
GOODBYE, NURSE! GOODBYE, NURSE! GOODBYE, NURSE!
DATELINE--HOLLYWOOD.
1930.
THE WARNER BROTHERS STUDIO.
HERE AT THE STUDIO'S ANIMATION DEPARTMENT, THE ARTISTS TOILED ENDLESSLY TO COME UP WITH CARTOON STARS ULTIMATELY CREATING THREE NEW CHARACTERS-- THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THEIR SISTER DOT.
HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! HELLO, NURSE! UNFORTUNATELY, THE WARNER KIDS WERE TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! THE TRIO RAN AMUCK THROUGHOUT THE STUDIO UNTIL THEIR CAPTURE.
THE WARNERS' FILMS, WHICH MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, WERE LOCKED AWAY, NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
AS FOR THE WARNERS THEMSELVES, THEY WERE LOCKED AWAY IN THE STUDIO WATER TOWER, ALSO NEVER TO BE RELEASED.
PUBLICLY THE STUDIO HAS DISAVOWED ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WARNERS' EXISTENCE TO THIS VERY DAY WHEN THE WARNERS ESCAPED.
IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY [WATER FLUSHES.]
THE WARNERS HAVE ESCAPED! CATCH THEM! LALLY-DALLY-LOO LALLY-DALLY-LEE YOU CAN'T CATCH US WE'RE THE WARNERS THREE SHUSH.
TAG.
YOU'RE IT.
[RASPBERRY.]
I-I CAUGHT 'EM, DOC.
I-I GOT 'EM.
GOOD FOR YOU.
GOOD FOR ME.
YOU GOT ME, YOU BIG DUMMY! UMTHERE THEY ARE.
GET THEM! RALPH, YOU TAKE THE BACK.
MISS NURSE, YOU TAKE-- MY BREATH AWAY.
YOU TAKE THE SIDE.
I'LL GO IN THE FRONT.
OHHH! GOODBYE, NURSE! I-I GOTCHA! UHNOT.
WE'LL HIDE HERE UNTIL THE COAST IS CLEAR.
[APPLAUSE.]
OOH, A MAGIC SHOW.
THIS OUGHT TO BE FUN.
FRANZ SHUBER INTENDED THIS SCHERZO TO REFLECT THE STRUGGLE BETWEEN INTELLEC AND THE CREATIVE PROCESS.
AHH.
I DON'T THINK HE'S A MAGICIAN.
THIS IS JUS A SETUP.
MISTER, PULL A RABBI OUT OF YOUR PANTS.
SHH! SHH! WHAT ARE YOU, LEAKY TIRES? HOWEVER, SHUBERT WAS SIMPLY INCAPABLE OF EXPRESSING SUCH A DELICATE NUANCE.
BUT, THANKS TO MY GENIUS, I WILL PERFORM THIS GREAT WORK, NOT AS THE COMPOSER WROTE IT, BUT AS HE INTENDED.
SHUBERT'S INTERMEZZO ANDANTE ALLEGRO OPUS 9.
WE'RE OUTTA HERE.
EXCUSE US.
COMING THROUGH.
MAKE WAY.
PARDON US.
GANGWAY.
GOTTA GO.
COMING THROUGH.
UH-OH.
HIT REVERSE, SIBS.
SU NODRAP.
YAW EKAM.
HGUORTH GNIMOC.
SU ESUCXE.
YAWGMAG.
OG ATTOG.
[SHOES SQUEAK.]
THE CONCERT HAS BEGUN.
TAKE YOUR SEATS! YOUR MOTHER USED PAMPERS.
ONCE AGAIN, THE SHUBERT.
[CRACKING.]
[CRUNCHING.]
CARAMEL CORN? DON'T MIND IF I DO.
TAFFY? 'KAY.
ALL OF IT.
AAH! DISGUSTING! THE SHUBERT.
[BLOWING.]
NOW, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
[APPLAUSE.]
VERY PETE TOWNSEND-ESQUE.
WHO? EXACTLY.
OOH! OOH! OOH! YES, WELL FOR MY NEXT NUMBER, LUDWIG VON PLOTZBURGER'S MOST COMPELLING MUSICAL ACCOMPLISHMENT.
REGRETFULLY, ONLY A SOPHISTICATED EAR AS MINE OWN CAN FULLY APPRECIATE THE DEPTH OF THIS MASTERPIECE.
COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE CONCENTRATION IS REQUIRED.
VON PLOTZBURGER'S PAVAN AND DIRGE IN C-MINOR, OPUS 7 AND ELEVEN.
[SNORING.]
BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! ENCORE! ENCORE! [WHISTLES.]
AH, SO THERE YOU IS.
I-I CAUGHT 'EM NOW, DOC.
GOOD JOB, RALPHIE.
LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
VAS IS DAS? OHHH! BUT WHERE ARE ZE WARNER BROTHERS? 'TWAS A GUY NAMED JOE FROM KOKOMO PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG WHEE! HE BANGED THE KEYS WITH HIS HEAD AND HIS KNEES PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG HE TWIDDLED WITH THIS TOES AND HE DIDDLED WITH HIS NOSE PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG AND WHEN THE DAY WAS DONE HE HAD SOME FUN PLAYIN' THA PIANO RAG HE WAS PLAYIN' THAT PIANO RAG [THUNDER.]
THANK YOU.
KEEP THE CHANGE.
EXCUSE ME.
I HAVE TO, UH GIVE, UH RETURN, UH SPIT IT OUT, SISTER.
TAKE THIS CAT! IT'S JUST NO WORKING OUT.
I THOUGHT I'D LIKE HAVING A CAT.
I THOUGHT SHE'D BE GOOD COMPANY.
I JUST WENT THROUGH A HORRIBLE BREAKUP.
[SNIFFS.]
EEEUWW, MAN.
IT'S JUST SHE'S SO INDEPENDENT.
SHE'D JUST SI AND STARE AT ME LIKE SHE'S BETTER THAN ME OR SOMETHING.
YOU UNDERSTAND.
I WANT A PET WHO'LL COME WHEN I CALL, CUDDLE ME AFTER A BAD DAY.
HAVE A KID, LADY.
AAH! OHH WOOF! WOOF! SLOW DOWN.
SLOW DOWN, WILL YOU? RUFF! I SPENT 700 BUCKS TRYING TO POTTY-TRAIN THIS DOG, AND HE STILL WON' GO ON THE PAPER.
MY KID REALLY WANTED A DOG, BUT THIS THING'S EATEN EVERY PAIR OF SHOES I OWN.
HE COMPLETELY DESTROYED A $4,000 PURE TEAK TIMBERKIDS PLAY SET.
HE CHEWED I TO BITS.
OH, I HATE DOGS.
GOSH, WHAT A NICE GUY.
[SNIFFING.]
WHO'S THERE? WHERE? ALL RIGHT, BUB, WHO ARE YOU? MY NAME'S RUNT, BUT MY MASTER CALLS ME STUPID.
WHAT A NICE GUY.
WHO ARE YOU? NAME'S RITA.
FIRST TIME IN THE JOINT? YUP.
WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR? WETTING ON THE CARPET.
YOU? SAME AS ALWAYS-- BEING TOO HIP FOR THE ROOM.
OH.
[SNORING.]
OH, HERE COMES A TICKET TO FREEDOM.
MAKE WITH THE SAD EYES.
I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING CUTE, SOMETHING INDEPENDENT.
OH, THAT'S IT! OH, IT'S ADORABLE! OH! [COUGH.]
OH.
COME TO MAMA.
HUMANS.
GO FIG.
YEAH, AIN'T THEY GREAT? WHO ELSE WOULD ADOPT A RAT? [DOOR SHUTS.]
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? SOON WE'LL BE SLEEPING THE BIG SLEEP.
I COULD USE A NAP.
THEY'RE GOING TO GAS US! WE'LL BE DEAD.
I DON'T THINK I'M THAT TIRED.
YOU'RE NOT A VERY SMART CAT, HUH? NOPE.
WELL, AT LEAS YOU'RE HONEST.
[YAWN.]
WHAT'S A HUMAN GOOD FOR, ANYWAY? THEY PET YOU WHEN YOU'RE SAD.
THEY SMACK YOU WHEN YOU'RE BAD.
WHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY, THEY DEFINITELY FEED YOU.
YEAH, ON VACATIONS THEY LEAVE YOU WITH HARDLY NO FOOD.
RING A BELL, DUDE? [WHIMPERS.]
EXACTLY MY POINT.
HUMANS AIN' WHAT THEY SEEM TO BE THEY DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME NO, NOT MUCH AT ALL WHEN YOU'RE LITTLE AND TINY THEY PE YOUR CUTE HEINIE BUT THEN WHEN YOU GROW IT'S A SIMPLE NO-SHOW IT'S SHOO-SHOO OFF THIS AND DON'T YOU DARE SCRATCH ON THAT IF THEY CALL YOU AT ALL IT'S ALWAYS "DUMB CAT" HUMANS AIN' WHAT THEY SEEM TO BE THEY DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME NO, NOT MUCH AT ALL BUT WHEN IT'S ALL DARK AND QUIET I TRY HARD TO FIGHT IT BUT I DREAM OF HOME THEN I WON' HAVE TO ROAM SOMEONE TO FEED ME AND PUT ME TO BED AND SCRATCH ME JUST SO ON TOP OF MY HEAD BUT I AIN' GONNA LOVE 'EM NOT GONNA ANSWER THAT CALL 'CAUSE HUMANS DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME NO NOT MUCH AT ALL [SIGH.]
WHO KNEW? HEY, UH IT'S BEEN NICE MAKING YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.
IF I MADE IT, I'M GLAD IT WAS NICE.
UH, HEY, IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, JUST WHISTLE.
[WHISTLING POP GOES THE WEASEL.]
ME AND MY OVERUSED CLICHES.
LET'S ASSUME THE APPARENT.
YOU WANT ME TO BUST YOU OUT.
IF I DON'T, IT'LL PLAY ON MY CONSCIENCE LIKE AN OUT-OF-TUNE ACCORDION.
ONCE I SPRING YOU, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
WOOF! WOOF? YOU'RE A DOG! SO ARE YOU.
YOU'RE A GOOD DOG, RITA, A REALLY GOOD DOG.
I AM A CAT.
A CAT? A CAT? WHERE? WHERE'S A CAT? WHERE'S THE FURRY FELINE? I'LL CHOMP I TO BITS.
GRRR! GRRR! AW, NEVER MIND.
LET'S AMSCRAY.
BREAK IT UP.
TROUBLEMAKERS, HUH? LOOKS LIKE I'LL HAVE TO SEPARATE YOU TWO.
GRRRWOOF! I HATE GOVERNMENT JOBS.
HEY, LASSIE! YOU CAN STOP NOW.
HEEL, BOY! [THWACK.]
[SIGH.]
DOGS.
THAT WAS A PRETTY CHIVALROUS THING YOU DID BACK THERE.
REALLY? GEE, I'M SORRY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PAL AROUND TOGETHER FOR A WHILE TILL WE FIND A HOME? THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC.
BUT WHEN WE EACH FIND HOMES I DON'T KNOW YOU.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
DEAL? I DON'T HAVE ANY CARDS.
HIT THE ROAD, EINSTEIN.
HEY, RITA, LOOK AT ALL THE TREES! WHAT HAVE I STARTED? DO OTHER DOGS KNOW ALL ABOUT THESE TREES? THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
SMELL THIS ONE, RITA.
THIS ONE SMELLS LIKE CHEESE.
DEFINITELY A CHEESE TREE.
GOODBYE, NURSE! GOODBYE, NURSE! GOODBYE, NURSE!