Phineas and Ferb s01e29 Episode Script
Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C. (15 min)
And now, back to "Neanderthal: The Pride of the Paleolithic".
The Neanderthals were great makers of tools, as well as skilled hunters.
It's also believed that they had a highly advanced language.
For example is how they may have said "I love you" or "Please take out the trash".
But one day, the fateful ice storms came.
The Neanderthals blamed each other for being ill-equipped to survive the harsh cold.
Many were frozen in glaciers and may be preserved to this very day.
We will return to our program after a brief word from our sponsor.
(Song: Sandwich Town jingle) Turkey on rye or plain bologna meat Our sandwich guy will make you want to eat Hmm I wonder if there's a caveman in the Danville Glacier.
Come on down to Sandwich Town.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! You know what else we should do today? Go search for a caveman at the Danville Glacier! Oh, I've got to find the perfect outfit to wear to Stacy's costume party.
That's it! A disco diva! Nah.
A corn dog! Nah.
I know! I'll ask Jeremy! What do you think about my costumes, Jeremy? "Gee, Candace.
I think you look beautiful and everything.
Will you be my girlfriend?" Oh, yes, Jeremy! I'll be your girlfriend! What? The prom? What?! Uh Candace? No- Uh Just a minute, please.
Hi, Jeremy! Hey, Candace.
Are you going to Stacy's party? Yes.
Cool.
It's gonna be wicked.
I'm going as a caveman.
I'll see you there.
Bye, Jeremy! Ghee! It's perfect! I'll dress up like a cavewoman, and Jeremy and I will be all matchy, and it'll be like we're on a date! Okay.
Let's go over our checklist.
Well, boys, we're off to the Center for Historically Relevant Botanical Gardens, a virtual treasure trove of topical topiaries.
I'm sure it'll be riveting.
What are you boys doing today? Archaeological dig! Okay.
Don't touch the flower beds.
Wouldn't think of it! Hey, where's Perry? Oh, there you are, Agent P.
Carl, he fell for it! We were just kidding about the whole magpie costume.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz is up to something.
Seek out that wild-eyed miscreant and found out what he's up to.
Ooh! Tell him to do it dressed as a rabbit! Ooh, and Agent P, could- could you do it dressed as a bunny? Good one, sir.
A big pink bunny.
Perry! Wait till Jeremy sees how hot I am in my smokin' cave girl outfit.
Ooga-booga! Hi, it's Stace.
Do you think you could bring a sandwich platter to the party? Sure! Ooh, I'll bring roast beef! Jeremy eats roast beef on Phinedays and Saturferbs.
Phineas and Ferb, you're lustin' for a bustin'! Candace! Forget your brothers! Remember? Jeremy.
Right.
Jeremy.
Sandwiches.
True love.
Your house.
Bye! Well, Ferb, let's scout around and see what's what.
All right, let's see Jurassic, Cretaceous, Plasticine Oh, here's Paleolithic, down here on the end.
Perry the Platypus! Oh, your persistence is insufferable.
And by that, I mean completely sufferable.
You're just in time, though, to watch me rid the Tri-State Area of one of my biggest pet peeves People who dress as sandwiches to promote restaurants.
You see? You see what I mean? What is this? Are- Are you a person or are you a food? For some reason, I don't mind the taco guy so much.
Look at his cute little hat.
Anyway, the whole thing sickens me to no end, which is why I created the Sandwich Suit Remove-Inator! It sucks all sandwich suits up into the air and then shreds them to teensy, weensy pieces.
Today I will fly all over the city and strip anyone dressed as a sandwich, right down to their skivvies! Ugh I've become my mother.
Ooh! Oh, yeah After Jeremy sees me lookin' so fly He's gonna wanna be my guy Uh-huh, uh-huh Oh, hi, Stacy! Yes, sandwiches.
I'm on it! This will be fantastic! Think of all the practical applications a caveman can have in the modern world.
Actually, you know, besides politics, I can't think of anything.
But wait till he says what we've done with the wheel, and fire, and shiny objects.
We did it! Me Conk.
Me Phineas.
He Ferb.
Conk hungry.
Food! Oh no, Conk! That's a carburet or.
Uh, seriously, Conk, me go to kitchen for food, while you wait here with Ferb.
Wow.
Not a very sophisticated palate.
Ahh Mm-hmm, mm-hmm Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, Candace.
You think you could spare a sandwich? Well, I'm sure I can spare one.
I know how men are about their meat.
"Argh! Me manly man! Me like meat!" Gee, uh Thanks, sis.
Cool outfit, by the way.
You should meet our new friend.
He's a real Neanderthal.
I don't care how buff he is.
Me, hang out with one of your friends? Puh-leese.
Now run along before I take my sandwich back.
And if you even think about trying something funny today, you're gonna get it! Get what? It! Well, if "it" is another sandwich, I'll take it now, please.
At last, my efforts have come to fruition! And nothing can stop me! Hmm.
I told Vanessa if she takes out the big head, she has to fill it up.
Ah, yes.
All zeroes make it so much easier to balance my check- Perry the Platypus, are you asleep? Oh Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to soliloquize.
Where was I? At last- Well, you remember the rest.
Agent P! Hey, guys! Good news.
I've got refreshments! A little something to wash it down? I guess we'd be hungry, too, if we hadn't eaten in 28,000 years.
Come on, Ferb.
Let's go wrangle up some snacks for our new pal.
You stay put, and we'll be back.
Happy, happy sandwich man Mm-hmm, mm-hmm Sandwiches! Good news! We got a plethora of sandwiches for ya! Um Conk? Uh oh.
Jeremy? Is that you? Wow.
Great costume! I hardly recognize you.
Yay! It's Candace, and And Jeremy! And you guys are all matchy! Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
Candace and Jeremy are here! Jeremy, dude! Sweet costume, bro! Okay! You're not my bro! Come on! Let's dance! Ooh! I love this song! Dance with me, Jeremy! Yeah, he really hates techno.
Food! Hey, Jeremy.
Isn't this a great party? Jeremy, you're so primitive.
Woo! Candace Hold that thought.
Hello? Hey, Candace.
Sorry I'm running late, but I just finished getting ready.
Yeah! You look amazing! Wait, what? See ya soon.
Who was that? J-J-J-J- Huh? I don't know a J-J-J-J.
But if that was Then whoâ You should meet our new friend.
He's a real Neanderthal.
Neanderthal.
Neanderthal.
Ooh! Phineas and Ferb are behind this! Mom! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
So, what is it this time? Okay.
She says they have a real caveman.
Well, you can say what you like about Candace, but there's nothing primitive about her imagination.
Well, well, well, what do you know? A hapless sandwich man.
Prepare to be eaten by the Remove-Inator! Mother of mayonnaise! Yes! It is functioning properly! Oh no! Perry the Platy- Oof! I demand you let me go! You- You- Friend of Phineas and Ferb! When my Mom gets here, you're gonna be in big trouble.
There you are, Conk.
Looky looky! Oof! I got you know, Perry the Platyâ Oof! Curse you, Perry the Platyâ Oof! There you go, Conky.
There you go.
Agent P! Ugh What smells like mustard? Huh? That big sandwich! Well, I guess we can't compete with a sandwich like that.
They say if you love something, let it go.
Especially if it's a caveman.
Yeah.
Especially if it's a caveman.
The Neanderthals were great makers of tools, as well as skilled hunters.
It's also believed that they had a highly advanced language.
For example is how they may have said "I love you" or "Please take out the trash".
But one day, the fateful ice storms came.
The Neanderthals blamed each other for being ill-equipped to survive the harsh cold.
Many were frozen in glaciers and may be preserved to this very day.
We will return to our program after a brief word from our sponsor.
(Song: Sandwich Town jingle) Turkey on rye or plain bologna meat Our sandwich guy will make you want to eat Hmm I wonder if there's a caveman in the Danville Glacier.
Come on down to Sandwich Town.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! You know what else we should do today? Go search for a caveman at the Danville Glacier! Oh, I've got to find the perfect outfit to wear to Stacy's costume party.
That's it! A disco diva! Nah.
A corn dog! Nah.
I know! I'll ask Jeremy! What do you think about my costumes, Jeremy? "Gee, Candace.
I think you look beautiful and everything.
Will you be my girlfriend?" Oh, yes, Jeremy! I'll be your girlfriend! What? The prom? What?! Uh Candace? No- Uh Just a minute, please.
Hi, Jeremy! Hey, Candace.
Are you going to Stacy's party? Yes.
Cool.
It's gonna be wicked.
I'm going as a caveman.
I'll see you there.
Bye, Jeremy! Ghee! It's perfect! I'll dress up like a cavewoman, and Jeremy and I will be all matchy, and it'll be like we're on a date! Okay.
Let's go over our checklist.
Well, boys, we're off to the Center for Historically Relevant Botanical Gardens, a virtual treasure trove of topical topiaries.
I'm sure it'll be riveting.
What are you boys doing today? Archaeological dig! Okay.
Don't touch the flower beds.
Wouldn't think of it! Hey, where's Perry? Oh, there you are, Agent P.
Carl, he fell for it! We were just kidding about the whole magpie costume.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz is up to something.
Seek out that wild-eyed miscreant and found out what he's up to.
Ooh! Tell him to do it dressed as a rabbit! Ooh, and Agent P, could- could you do it dressed as a bunny? Good one, sir.
A big pink bunny.
Perry! Wait till Jeremy sees how hot I am in my smokin' cave girl outfit.
Ooga-booga! Hi, it's Stace.
Do you think you could bring a sandwich platter to the party? Sure! Ooh, I'll bring roast beef! Jeremy eats roast beef on Phinedays and Saturferbs.
Phineas and Ferb, you're lustin' for a bustin'! Candace! Forget your brothers! Remember? Jeremy.
Right.
Jeremy.
Sandwiches.
True love.
Your house.
Bye! Well, Ferb, let's scout around and see what's what.
All right, let's see Jurassic, Cretaceous, Plasticine Oh, here's Paleolithic, down here on the end.
Perry the Platypus! Oh, your persistence is insufferable.
And by that, I mean completely sufferable.
You're just in time, though, to watch me rid the Tri-State Area of one of my biggest pet peeves People who dress as sandwiches to promote restaurants.
You see? You see what I mean? What is this? Are- Are you a person or are you a food? For some reason, I don't mind the taco guy so much.
Look at his cute little hat.
Anyway, the whole thing sickens me to no end, which is why I created the Sandwich Suit Remove-Inator! It sucks all sandwich suits up into the air and then shreds them to teensy, weensy pieces.
Today I will fly all over the city and strip anyone dressed as a sandwich, right down to their skivvies! Ugh I've become my mother.
Ooh! Oh, yeah After Jeremy sees me lookin' so fly He's gonna wanna be my guy Uh-huh, uh-huh Oh, hi, Stacy! Yes, sandwiches.
I'm on it! This will be fantastic! Think of all the practical applications a caveman can have in the modern world.
Actually, you know, besides politics, I can't think of anything.
But wait till he says what we've done with the wheel, and fire, and shiny objects.
We did it! Me Conk.
Me Phineas.
He Ferb.
Conk hungry.
Food! Oh no, Conk! That's a carburet or.
Uh, seriously, Conk, me go to kitchen for food, while you wait here with Ferb.
Wow.
Not a very sophisticated palate.
Ahh Mm-hmm, mm-hmm Uh-huh, uh-huh Hey, Candace.
You think you could spare a sandwich? Well, I'm sure I can spare one.
I know how men are about their meat.
"Argh! Me manly man! Me like meat!" Gee, uh Thanks, sis.
Cool outfit, by the way.
You should meet our new friend.
He's a real Neanderthal.
I don't care how buff he is.
Me, hang out with one of your friends? Puh-leese.
Now run along before I take my sandwich back.
And if you even think about trying something funny today, you're gonna get it! Get what? It! Well, if "it" is another sandwich, I'll take it now, please.
At last, my efforts have come to fruition! And nothing can stop me! Hmm.
I told Vanessa if she takes out the big head, she has to fill it up.
Ah, yes.
All zeroes make it so much easier to balance my check- Perry the Platypus, are you asleep? Oh Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to soliloquize.
Where was I? At last- Well, you remember the rest.
Agent P! Hey, guys! Good news.
I've got refreshments! A little something to wash it down? I guess we'd be hungry, too, if we hadn't eaten in 28,000 years.
Come on, Ferb.
Let's go wrangle up some snacks for our new pal.
You stay put, and we'll be back.
Happy, happy sandwich man Mm-hmm, mm-hmm Sandwiches! Good news! We got a plethora of sandwiches for ya! Um Conk? Uh oh.
Jeremy? Is that you? Wow.
Great costume! I hardly recognize you.
Yay! It's Candace, and And Jeremy! And you guys are all matchy! Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
Candace and Jeremy are here! Jeremy, dude! Sweet costume, bro! Okay! You're not my bro! Come on! Let's dance! Ooh! I love this song! Dance with me, Jeremy! Yeah, he really hates techno.
Food! Hey, Jeremy.
Isn't this a great party? Jeremy, you're so primitive.
Woo! Candace Hold that thought.
Hello? Hey, Candace.
Sorry I'm running late, but I just finished getting ready.
Yeah! You look amazing! Wait, what? See ya soon.
Who was that? J-J-J-J- Huh? I don't know a J-J-J-J.
But if that was Then whoâ You should meet our new friend.
He's a real Neanderthal.
Neanderthal.
Neanderthal.
Ooh! Phineas and Ferb are behind this! Mom! Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
So, what is it this time? Okay.
She says they have a real caveman.
Well, you can say what you like about Candace, but there's nothing primitive about her imagination.
Well, well, well, what do you know? A hapless sandwich man.
Prepare to be eaten by the Remove-Inator! Mother of mayonnaise! Yes! It is functioning properly! Oh no! Perry the Platy- Oof! I demand you let me go! You- You- Friend of Phineas and Ferb! When my Mom gets here, you're gonna be in big trouble.
There you are, Conk.
Looky looky! Oof! I got you know, Perry the Platyâ Oof! Curse you, Perry the Platyâ Oof! There you go, Conky.
There you go.
Agent P! Ugh What smells like mustard? Huh? That big sandwich! Well, I guess we can't compete with a sandwich like that.
They say if you love something, let it go.
Especially if it's a caveman.
Yeah.
Especially if it's a caveman.