Bunnicula (2016) s01e30 Episode Script
Return of the Curse of the Weredude
1
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNARLING)
(GIGGLING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(BLOWS)
Hey, Chester. Why so glum?
Oh. It's nothing.
Aw, come on, Chester.
You know you could
tell us anything.
-Open up.
-Yeah.
It's just that every year,
right around this time,
I get a little lovesick,
is all.
What with all the blossoms
and the warm spring air
and the pheromones.
They're everywhere!
It's maddening!
It makes a man crazy!
I'm so desperately alone.
-Ooh, Chester wants
a girlfriend.
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Hey, come on.
You guys already had
your love stories.
What about me, huh?
What about lonely,
lonely Chester?
PATCHES: What about
super-awesome Patches?
Who was that?
-HAROLD: It's Patches.
-(BUNNICULA BABBLES)
Hey, I'm Patches.
I'm a Weredude.
Patches, a Weredude,
yes, he's back
He's the hefty hairy man
who is also a cat
When the moon is full
it rearranges his fat
It makes
a magic transformation
wherever he's at
He's Patches ♪
Hey, Chester. Hey, Bunnicula.
Hey, uh The The dog.
How's it going?
Oh, Chester was just
talking about how alone he is
and something about
"ferret-moans."
Pheromones!
And I wouldn't have to lament
if I only knew
how to impress the ladies.
(SNICKERS)
Chester, women aren't so hard.
I have a girlfriend.
-You do?
-No, not technically.
But, look.
You can see her.
She's right over there.
CHESTER: Wow.
PATCHES: No, no, no,
not her.
PATCHES: Her.
Her name is Elvira.
I met her
during the last full moon.
I think I'm in love with her.
But I can't see her
if I'm a human.
Until the moon
changes me back,
all I can do is leave tokens
of my affection
while she sleeps.
At least you have someone.
I just wish
I could be like you
and know how to play the game.
PATCHES:
Wouldn't that be something?
If only we could
find a solution
to each other's problems.
Ah-ha!
(GIRL SHRIEKING)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Uh
(MOANS AND GROANS)
-(ANGRILY) Why?
-Whoa.
You look just like me.
(CHUCKLES)
(GROANS)
What What the
All right, you.
You wanna maybe explain
your rationality behind this!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Oh, I get it.
Chester stands in for Patches
and gets Elvira
to fall in love with him
and then Chester can learn
basic dating etiquette
-so he can finally
call himself a man.
-Yeah.
Wait, you You mean,
pretending to be you
on a date? A real date?
Hey, you said
you wanted to learn.
Well, now is your chance,
Chester.
Someone's gotta make her
fall in love with me.
You can do it, Chester.
Do it for me.
You're right, Patches.
I'm gonna do this.
For you and for me.
Yeah.
-(WHISPERS)
But don't kiss her.
-Kiss her?
(NERVOUSLY) Oh, I just hope
I can get her attention
and, of course,
help my Weredude buddy.
Chester,
you're my boy.
Okay, Elvira's waiting.
Here, give her this
mouse I caught.
(COUGHING)
I don't know if I can do this.
Relax. There's only one thing
you need to know
when it comes to the ladies.
Always be awesome.
-Uh
-(CHUCKLES) All right.
Make her swoon, buddy.
Ahhh!
Uh, oh Hello.
Uh Oh, hi.
I'm, uh Patches.
Um Uh
Here. This is for you.
(GASPING) This is madness.
Madness!
(BOTH NERVOUSLY CHUCKLE)
Um
Uh So, you, uh, like, uh
Comic books?
Comic books? Oh Oh, my.
As a matter of fact,
I rather love comic books.
Wow, really? Me Me too.
Yeah, and nothing goes better
with reading, than
BOTH:
Listening to Lounge Jazz.
(BOTH LAUGH)
(BOTH SIGH)
Hey, you know something?
You're pretty cool.
-Duh.
-(LAUGHS)
Yes. Let us continue the date.
Uh Patches?
Yeah, I I'm Patches.
The ground. It's ever so far.
Would you help me down?
(GULPS) Uh Yes, of course.
Alley-oop, my love.
Oh, your arms are so
big and strong, Patches.
(LAUGHING) My arms.
Uh Come on.
Let us, uh, go
Frolic about and such.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Uh, Dad?
There's a strange man
talking to the animals.
FATHER: Only in America.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
Chester sure has been doing
a good job
keeping Elvira
in love with me.
Though there is something
that we've noticed,
that, maybe,
you're not aware of.
What? That Chester is
the best wingman in the world
and would do anything
for his brother, man?
(CHUCKLES)
I already knew that.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
No, no, no.
You You're both crazy.
I I need to go.
-(SCREAMS)
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Let him go, Bunnicula.
He'll understand soon enough.
Oh, Patches.
These past few days
have been so wonderful.
And I must say,
I thought you were
handsome before,
but now I find you
even more attractive.
(NERVOUSLY CHUCKLES)
Yeah, about all that.
There's something
you don't know about me,
and I wanna be honest with you
about it, but I
I don't know how.
What you talking about,
Chester?
Can't it wait?
The moon will soon be out
and it will be ever so full.
Won't that be lovely and good,
Patches?
Yeah, see, my situation
kind of involves the moon.
And, well, I I, uh
You know what they say
about the full moon,
don't you?
(SOFTLY) They say it causes
madness.
Uh Uh I, uh
(MOANS)
(GASPS)
(BOTH MOANING)
(CRYING)
I can't believe
Chester betrayed me.
(YELLING)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(CONTINUES YELLING)
(CAT YOWLING)
CHESTER:
This is the real deal,
you guys.
It just feels right, you know?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Oh, Bunnicula.
I don't expect
you to understand
what Elvira and I share.
It's a pure love.
Uh, okay, but, uh
What about Patches?
-(DOOR CREAKING)
-What about Patches, indeed.
Whoa!
(GROANS)
Patches, um There
There's no need to get upset.
You used my own advice
against me
and acted too awesome.
Now you're trying to steal
Elvira from me.
But, I won't let you.
-(GRUNTING)
-Whoa. Hey, what
What're you
Ow! Quit it!
Should we do something,
Bunnicula?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(GRUNTING AND YOWLING)
You can't accept
that I make a better Patches
than you.
Nuh-uh. You make me
sound like a Hobbit.
(GROANING)
People love Hobbits!
(SCREAMING AND YOWLING)
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(YELLING)
(GROANING AND GRUNTING)
-BOTH: Huh?
-(GRUNTING)
BOTH: Elvira!
You know it's me, babe.
Don't let this faker
steal you away.
I share your interests,
Elvira.
Jazz, lavender soap,
comic books.
Choose me, Elvira.
PATCHES: Choose me, Elvira.
CHESTER: Choose me.
PATCHES: Choose me.
CHESTER: Choose me.
PATCHES: No, choose me, man.
BOTH: Choose me!
(GROANING)
BOTH: Elvira!
I can't believe it.
She fainted
from her own indecision.
Uh, you guys?
She probably fell over
'cause she's just
a bag of sand
with a balloon tied to it.
Harold, how could you
say that about Elvira?
Yeah, she's not an object.
She's a real live woman.
She's the most beautiful woman
I've ever know
Oh
How What
When did this
How long has Elvira been
a bag of sand
with a balloon tied to it?
The whole time.
(LAUGHING)
This is madness! Madness!
Uh (MOANS)
BOTH: Choose me!
(WHIZZING)
BOTH: Elvira!
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
But our love was real.
How can this happen?
Well, I don't know.
I guess you could chalk it up
to the loneliness,
wishful thinking
and all those fairy-moans.
Pheromones.
You know what, Chester?
Maybe we don't need
to be in love,
in order to be happy.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
And it's pretty funny.
I'd say we looked
equally ridiculous.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Hey, yeah. When does
that disguise wear off?
(PUFFING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
-(GROANS)
-Don't worry.
I got you covered.
Thanks.
That's what friends are for.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNARLING)
(GIGGLING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(BLOWS)
Hey, Chester. Why so glum?
Oh. It's nothing.
Aw, come on, Chester.
You know you could
tell us anything.
-Open up.
-Yeah.
It's just that every year,
right around this time,
I get a little lovesick,
is all.
What with all the blossoms
and the warm spring air
and the pheromones.
They're everywhere!
It's maddening!
It makes a man crazy!
I'm so desperately alone.
-Ooh, Chester wants
a girlfriend.
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Hey, come on.
You guys already had
your love stories.
What about me, huh?
What about lonely,
lonely Chester?
PATCHES: What about
super-awesome Patches?
Who was that?
-HAROLD: It's Patches.
-(BUNNICULA BABBLES)
Hey, I'm Patches.
I'm a Weredude.
Patches, a Weredude,
yes, he's back
He's the hefty hairy man
who is also a cat
When the moon is full
it rearranges his fat
It makes
a magic transformation
wherever he's at
He's Patches ♪
Hey, Chester. Hey, Bunnicula.
Hey, uh The The dog.
How's it going?
Oh, Chester was just
talking about how alone he is
and something about
"ferret-moans."
Pheromones!
And I wouldn't have to lament
if I only knew
how to impress the ladies.
(SNICKERS)
Chester, women aren't so hard.
I have a girlfriend.
-You do?
-No, not technically.
But, look.
You can see her.
She's right over there.
CHESTER: Wow.
PATCHES: No, no, no,
not her.
PATCHES: Her.
Her name is Elvira.
I met her
during the last full moon.
I think I'm in love with her.
But I can't see her
if I'm a human.
Until the moon
changes me back,
all I can do is leave tokens
of my affection
while she sleeps.
At least you have someone.
I just wish
I could be like you
and know how to play the game.
PATCHES:
Wouldn't that be something?
If only we could
find a solution
to each other's problems.
Ah-ha!
(GIRL SHRIEKING)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Uh
(MOANS AND GROANS)
-(ANGRILY) Why?
-Whoa.
You look just like me.
(CHUCKLES)
(GROANS)
What What the
All right, you.
You wanna maybe explain
your rationality behind this!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Oh, I get it.
Chester stands in for Patches
and gets Elvira
to fall in love with him
and then Chester can learn
basic dating etiquette
-so he can finally
call himself a man.
-Yeah.
Wait, you You mean,
pretending to be you
on a date? A real date?
Hey, you said
you wanted to learn.
Well, now is your chance,
Chester.
Someone's gotta make her
fall in love with me.
You can do it, Chester.
Do it for me.
You're right, Patches.
I'm gonna do this.
For you and for me.
Yeah.
-(WHISPERS)
But don't kiss her.
-Kiss her?
(NERVOUSLY) Oh, I just hope
I can get her attention
and, of course,
help my Weredude buddy.
Chester,
you're my boy.
Okay, Elvira's waiting.
Here, give her this
mouse I caught.
(COUGHING)
I don't know if I can do this.
Relax. There's only one thing
you need to know
when it comes to the ladies.
Always be awesome.
-Uh
-(CHUCKLES) All right.
Make her swoon, buddy.
Ahhh!
Uh, oh Hello.
Uh Oh, hi.
I'm, uh Patches.
Um Uh
Here. This is for you.
(GASPING) This is madness.
Madness!
(BOTH NERVOUSLY CHUCKLE)
Um
Uh So, you, uh, like, uh
Comic books?
Comic books? Oh Oh, my.
As a matter of fact,
I rather love comic books.
Wow, really? Me Me too.
Yeah, and nothing goes better
with reading, than
BOTH:
Listening to Lounge Jazz.
(BOTH LAUGH)
(BOTH SIGH)
Hey, you know something?
You're pretty cool.
-Duh.
-(LAUGHS)
Yes. Let us continue the date.
Uh Patches?
Yeah, I I'm Patches.
The ground. It's ever so far.
Would you help me down?
(GULPS) Uh Yes, of course.
Alley-oop, my love.
Oh, your arms are so
big and strong, Patches.
(LAUGHING) My arms.
Uh Come on.
Let us, uh, go
Frolic about and such.
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Uh, Dad?
There's a strange man
talking to the animals.
FATHER: Only in America.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
Chester sure has been doing
a good job
keeping Elvira
in love with me.
Though there is something
that we've noticed,
that, maybe,
you're not aware of.
What? That Chester is
the best wingman in the world
and would do anything
for his brother, man?
(CHUCKLES)
I already knew that.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
No, no, no.
You You're both crazy.
I I need to go.
-(SCREAMS)
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Let him go, Bunnicula.
He'll understand soon enough.
Oh, Patches.
These past few days
have been so wonderful.
And I must say,
I thought you were
handsome before,
but now I find you
even more attractive.
(NERVOUSLY CHUCKLES)
Yeah, about all that.
There's something
you don't know about me,
and I wanna be honest with you
about it, but I
I don't know how.
What you talking about,
Chester?
Can't it wait?
The moon will soon be out
and it will be ever so full.
Won't that be lovely and good,
Patches?
Yeah, see, my situation
kind of involves the moon.
And, well, I I, uh
You know what they say
about the full moon,
don't you?
(SOFTLY) They say it causes
madness.
Uh Uh I, uh
(MOANS)
(GASPS)
(BOTH MOANING)
(CRYING)
I can't believe
Chester betrayed me.
(YELLING)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(CONTINUES YELLING)
(CAT YOWLING)
CHESTER:
This is the real deal,
you guys.
It just feels right, you know?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Oh, Bunnicula.
I don't expect
you to understand
what Elvira and I share.
It's a pure love.
Uh, okay, but, uh
What about Patches?
-(DOOR CREAKING)
-What about Patches, indeed.
Whoa!
(GROANS)
Patches, um There
There's no need to get upset.
You used my own advice
against me
and acted too awesome.
Now you're trying to steal
Elvira from me.
But, I won't let you.
-(GRUNTING)
-Whoa. Hey, what
What're you
Ow! Quit it!
Should we do something,
Bunnicula?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(GRUNTING AND YOWLING)
You can't accept
that I make a better Patches
than you.
Nuh-uh. You make me
sound like a Hobbit.
(GROANING)
People love Hobbits!
(SCREAMING AND YOWLING)
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(YELLING)
(GROANING AND GRUNTING)
-BOTH: Huh?
-(GRUNTING)
BOTH: Elvira!
You know it's me, babe.
Don't let this faker
steal you away.
I share your interests,
Elvira.
Jazz, lavender soap,
comic books.
Choose me, Elvira.
PATCHES: Choose me, Elvira.
CHESTER: Choose me.
PATCHES: Choose me.
CHESTER: Choose me.
PATCHES: No, choose me, man.
BOTH: Choose me!
(GROANING)
BOTH: Elvira!
I can't believe it.
She fainted
from her own indecision.
Uh, you guys?
She probably fell over
'cause she's just
a bag of sand
with a balloon tied to it.
Harold, how could you
say that about Elvira?
Yeah, she's not an object.
She's a real live woman.
She's the most beautiful woman
I've ever know
Oh
How What
When did this
How long has Elvira been
a bag of sand
with a balloon tied to it?
The whole time.
(LAUGHING)
This is madness! Madness!
Uh (MOANS)
BOTH: Choose me!
(WHIZZING)
BOTH: Elvira!
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
But our love was real.
How can this happen?
Well, I don't know.
I guess you could chalk it up
to the loneliness,
wishful thinking
and all those fairy-moans.
Pheromones.
You know what, Chester?
Maybe we don't need
to be in love,
in order to be happy.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
And it's pretty funny.
I'd say we looked
equally ridiculous.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Hey, yeah. When does
that disguise wear off?
(PUFFING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
-(GROANS)
-Don't worry.
I got you covered.
Thanks.
That's what friends are for.