Gintama (2005) s01e30 Episode Script

Even Teen Idols Act Like You Guys

[Tsu Terakado.]
[To All NEET Guys Throughout the Country.
.]
[Her long-awaited new single.]
Tsu Terakado's third single, "Your Older Brother's a Hikikomori.
" [Tsu Terakado's third single: Your Older Brother's a Hikikomori.
.]
We're so annoyed now, so go and do some volunteer work! [Tsu receives a threatening letter.
A mystery shadow lurks.
.]
[Today's "Gin Tama" is a mystery story.
Who could the culprit be?!.]
[Shinpachi Shimura - Tsu Terakado Fan Club President.]
The President's crying! Incredible! Otsu's new song must be her greatest hit ever! Yeah, it moves me even more than her other songs.
Maybe it's her best since "Your Father's a Bleep Bleep"? I hear she's appearing on "Utatte Iitomo.
" Otsu-chan's becoming more and more famous.
I'm happy that Otsu-chan will become a star, but on the other hand, it's a bit sad What's wrong, Sergeant? P-President check this out.
[Lead Singer of Boy Band "Hansamu"! Goemon's Hot New Love Reveled! Late Night Date with Idol Tsu Terakado!.]
["Even Teen Idols Act Like You Guys".]
What's the big deal? Who cares about a kid's puppy love? [Odd Jobs - Gintoki Sakata.]
More importantly, what happened to my drama rerun? What happened in the battle between Pinko and Harue? Just when Pinko and Harue were about to finally have their showdown, [Kagura - Odd Jobs Apprentice.]
the fearsome Alien Emperor attacked Earth.
Pinko and Harue joined forces to defeat the Emperor.
The end.
Are you serious?! How do you know that? Yesterday was the final episode.
Right, Sadaharu? Oh my god!! I totally missed it! You mean I'll never get to see Pinko again? Never mind that Shinpachi's been acting strange.
He keeps tearing days off the calendar.
Hey, doing that isn't going to get you into another dimension.
Stop running from reality.
This is what happens when you fall in love with an idol.
Next in the news Know your place.
This just in! Popular weather announcer lady I'm a fan of the weather lady, but I know better Ketsuno was married last month.
Great, now both of them have disappeared into another dimension.
Oh, even when he's zoning out, his body automatically reacts to a potential job! We don't need any newspapers.
[Tsu Terakado - Idol.]
Otsu-chan.
"Break up with the guy, or I'll kill you berry much"? Is the writer of this witless note one of your fans? Several letters like this have been sent to my agency.
It freaked me out, so I told my dad.
He said you'd help me.
That father of yours Is he doing well? Yes.
When I told him about these death threats, he lost it-threatened to break out of prison again.
We'd better do something before your father does something stupid.
So you'll help?! But the problem is, the list of suspects includes all of your fans.
I have a feeling it's probably someone in the business Ever since these letters started coming in, strange things have been happening around me.
Ithappens only at the TV station and on location.
No ordinary fan would have access to do those things.
Break up with him.
Break up with him, and everything will work out.
I-I don't want to.
I can't imagine doing that.
He's the only guy in show biz who's ever been nice to me! Bah! Guys are always nice to hot girls! If we can't narrow down the suspects, then all we can do is stick close to you and protect you.
I, Shinpachi Shimura, will protect you with my life! He's back.
Come on, you two! Let's get going.
The incidents aren't happening at her office.
What's with that costume? Huge ears! Oversized nostrils! My name is Ishihara, just like the Edo governor.
That was difficult to tell! And what are you supposed to be, Kagura-chan? Giba-chan, from "The Suspect.
" So, you must be "The Negotiator.
" I'm not Santa Maria! Ohh Is that her boyfriend? Goemon, lead singer of the nationally popular boy band, "Hansamu"? [GOEMON - Leader of Hansamu.]
You sure know a lot.
You're a big fan, aren't you? I'm not interested in boy singers.
A man's worth is determined by his "flavor.
" Otsu-chan.
I think it'd be wise to not see each other for a while, you know.
What? But why, Goemon-san? I don't want to do that.
I don't want to be apart from you, either, you know.
But it isn't wise to disappoint our public too much.
I know better than you how valuable, and how frightening, fans can be, you know.
Let's give it some time.
Don't worry, once interest dies down in the tabloids we'll be able to see each other every day.
Goemon-san Nice, Otsu-chan.
You're the best in Japan! Next, let's have a world's-best look! Right! [Otsu's Mother - Manager.]
You people again? What is it this time? It seems Otsu-san is being threatened.
We've been hired to guard her and solve the case.
Otsu went and did something unnecessary again.
What? What do you mean? A threat letter or two happens all the time with celebrities.
If we worried about every single one, we wouldn't make it in this business.
But weren't you the one who showed the threat letter to Otsu-chan? What I wanted, was for her to be a bit more conscientious of who she is.
But I guess it was a waste.
Who knows what she'll do about that scandal.
Anyway go ahead, but don't interfere with her work, please.
What're we going to do, Taka? Let me think about it, Yuji.
We'll start by checking out Himuro and Samejima of the Ryujinkai.
We should be able to shake a few skeletons out of their closets.
Okay.
Watch out! Who's Himuro?! Who's Samejima?! Get home safely, guys! My investigation has uncovered Several possible suspects.
The first, is TV personality, Tamo-san.
[Tamo-san (Multi-Talented).]
A multi-talented TV personality who can do just about anything, including, emceeing.
Otsu-chan says he wears a toupe, so he has a grudge against her.
This is Mu-san, an ad agency producer.
[Mu-san (Producer).]
He's approached Otsu-chan on several occasions.
According to my research, he's into girlie photo mags.
And then there's Osamu Nabe, the director.
[Osamu Nabe (Director).]
He's infamous in show biz for always laying his hands on the leading actresses.
Eiji Funagoe, the top actor of suspense roles.
[Eiji Funagoe (Actor).]
Word is there were plans for a collaboration with Otsu-chan, but it was canceled.
Kukeko Kaki, the actress.
[Kukeko Kaki (Actress).]
She's always complaining that her roles suffer because of Otsu-chan.
These are the five main suspects.
Softie.
You're such a softie, Shinpachi.
Certainly those people are suspects, as well.
But you're forgetting the biggest suspect.
The biggest suspect? That's right.
He's always in the shadows of every incident.
You're forgetting the fellow who everyone has seen at the scene of a crime! Who is it?! The mystery shadow.
That's right The mystery shadow appears in every detective or mystery manga.
He always appears when they don't want to reveal who the culprit is, but want to show what's happening.
That mystery shadow.
Who're you?! I am ace detective, Sleepy Don't go through the trouble! Stupid! Where'd you get him from? He was passed out drunk downstairs at Otose's.
He looked the part, so I You're gonna get sued someday.
Cut! Okay! All right, Otsu-chan.
Good job.
Good job, everybody.
Thank you very much.
All right.
Next let's set up scene 12.
Listen, Mu-san is supposed to be at this shoot.
Keep a sharp lookout.
But I haven't seen Mu-san for a while.
H-Help! Thethe producer, Mu-san, is! H-He's What's an open-air spa doing at the edge of a cliff? Everyone, what do you make of this case? It began with a single threat letter, but now we have a victim.
The perpetrator is no doubt gloating about his perfect crime.
Those dazzling serial murders The mystery shadow approaches And the trick to a murder committed in a sealed room with no exit.
The secret will be revealed after this commercial break.
What serial murders?! This isn't a sealed room! Why was Mu-san? All right, we'll take it from here.
We're taking this case.
Don't touch anything unnecessary and don't destroy evidence.
You're the ones who're unnecessary! Sea louse It's his dying message! Stop messing up the investigation! Goemon-san! Right now? I'm at a hot spa for a drama shoot Oh you Sure, I'll do my best.
How about you? Oh, that's great! What a dufus.
You knew you were gonna get hurt if you stuck your nose into this-you saw it coming.
You should've behaved yourself and stayed at home-peeling the pages of your calendar.
I told you I was going to protect Otsu-chan.
Trying to show off is a waste of time.
A girl in love is like a wild boar-it only looks forward.
It's not like that at all.
I owe Otsu-chan my life.
It was before I met you, Gin-san.
I was still working part-time jobs.
I wasn't good at anything I did and was always getting scolded by the manager.
I was sick of everything and I was about to throw it all away and That's when I heard her.
To be honest, I didn't know what she was singing about, and there wasn't an audience, but when I saw her singing her guts out my eyes teared up.
Thank you Otsu-chan probably doesn't even remember me, but she made me feel a lot better that day.
Anything at all.
If there's anything I can do, I want to do it to pay her back for her kindness.
This is all I can do, but I want to help her any way I can.
I get it.
If that's how you feel, then I have nothing more to say.
Gin-chan, Gin-chan, big news! Pinko's here! Pinko's here to tape "In This World, There are Only Demons, You Bastard!!" What? Pinko! I want your autograph! Ohthe broadcast of "Utatte Iitomo" is ending soon.
Better use the john now.
[In This World, There are Only Demons, You Bastard!!.]
Dad! Two dads? Which one is the real one? How'd this happen? Sugako! This is all Sugako's fault! What good is that going to do? I think I know what happened.
I never imagined it would turn into a fiasco like this, you know.
That chick will never learn to shut her hole in front of reporters, you know! "You know"? Could that be I haven't even groped her yet.
This is ridiculous.
I'm signed up to do the Taiga soap next year, too.
That's right.
So I figured I better take care of this first.
Women with no experience are no fun, after all, you know.
She fell in love with me right away just because I was nice to her, you know.
He's the only guy in show biz who's ever been nice to me.
That woman? I don't really care, you know.
She'll just disappear anyway Wh-Wh-Who are you?! Youcall yourself human? You're mother is a bleeping bleep! Hey, come on.
Enough of this.
My schedule's full.
We may not look it, but we're very busy.
That's right.
You might be a detective or something, but frankly, you're a nuisance.
By the way, Tama-san, why're you on the set of a drama? What? I'm, you know, the storyteller.
I told you from the beginning not to get in our way.
Well, I wanted to stay out of your way, but I found out who the culprit is.
Let's make it quick and get it over with.
The culprit is You! What're you talking about?! I'd have no reason to do such a thing! I'm the one who solves the riddles.
That's what all criminals say.
You're panicking and starting to sweat, Funagoe-san.
If you're going to accuse me, show me some proof first! Proof! Proofproof, you say You're the culprit! That mole is suspicious.
I have an alibi.
Oh, I see.
Then You're the culprit.
That's not possible.
Are you just saying these things because you feel like it?! No, it's not really that, but I've seen through everything you've done! Who're you? Who am I? I am the Sensei of criminal tricks.
Hey, you've got channel 10 and channel 4 mixed up! I already know who the culprit is.
That's Goemon.
What is this? What's going on? The second victim.
No.
This isn't a victim.
I heard him talking in the john.
This guy is a scumbag who toyed with Otsu-chan's heart.
A scumbag playboy who considered the scandal with Otsu-chan a nuisance.
Then, he is the culprit? Well That was Otsu-chan! You're! The mystery shadow! It really does exist.
How about that? It really exists.
Otsu, are you all right?! Help me! Look! A UFO! After him, Shinpachi! Right! Stop! This is fine work The treasure The treasure! Tomorrow, we will continue to see Commercial! Cut to commercial! Give it up already! He missed me Hey, you! Show your true self! No, I've been like this from birth.
I'm an Amanto.
Huh? What do you mean? UhI'm at a loss to explain.
My form doesn't change when light shines on me.
I know you! I've seen him before.
Everywhere I went there was always somebody who looked like him.
I'm not anyone suspicious.
I'm just a fan of Otsu-chan.
I've been after her for several weeks in order to get her autograph.
In other words, a stalker.
You're complicating things, idiot! H-Help me! You must be the culprit! You messed up her dressing room and sent that death threat letter! What're you talking about?! I did rifle through her dressing room, but I never sent any letter.
Then who sent the death threat letter? Who would benefit from Otsu-chan and that guy breaking up? Hmm, that would be Otsu-chan herself.
The letter was sent by whoever wishes the most for Otsu-chan's happiness.
That would be you.
Yesthat's right.
You, Mo? I told you: I just wanted to give her a warning.
Just as you people said, that Goemon is the lowest form of scumbag.
Like me, that girl has no luck with men, and she's stubborn to boot.
There isn't a parent around who doesn't think of their child.
But there are also few children who understand their parents' feelings.
That's common sense.
Next time, convey your feelings in a more normal fashion.
We're both rather clumsy.
Who are you?! I see.
I understand Otsu-chan, I Forget it.
Forget it.
I'll be fine-I'm used to it.
I have bad luck with men.
The person I fell in love with before was Hard Gay.
Hard Gay?! My mother was worried about me, but I was a fool.
Men dump me, and I've lost popularity as a pop star.
I'velost everything.
Otsu-chan, I President!! We came to help out.
It's not fair that you're hogging all the glory! We're prepared to stand guard all night long.
All of you! I'm afraid we're all very tenacious fanboys.
But we're not going to stop idolizing you over a little scandal or two! Thank you, Shinji-kun.
It's Shinpachi.
Oh, I just passed out in the hot spa.
This has been Ginzaburo Yakihata.
[Preview.]
Gin-san has amnesia?! You mean he's forgotten me? Don't give me that! You mean, I remember him, but he forgot me?! That sucks! Who does he think he is?! The next episode: "You Always Remember the Things that Matter the Least.
" [Shinpachi and Kagura do everything they can to help Gintoki remember.
.]
[Will Gintoki's memory return? If it doesn't.]
Not too many extras lately, huh? Yeah.

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