Clarence US (2014) s01e31 Episode Script
Turtle Hats
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Okay, class, so, instead of writing in your journals this weekend, I've come up with a different fun assignment to just mix things up a bit.
Uh, this weekend, you'll be doing a project on "turtle hats"? Come on.
Come on, just take it.
- He knows it's a rock.
- He doesn't know yet.
He's he's not close enough.
Teehee! Okay, I think he just realized it! Okay, guys, we better get started on this assignment.
I'm not 100% sure of what Ms.
Baker wants, so that's why we really need to get down to it.
Are you kidding me? We have all weekend to figure it out! It's poor practice to leave work till the last minute.
Fine! Unh! Done! - Hey, I'm serious! - So am I! Brady, do you know what "turtle hats" means? No idea! What about you, Vu? Do you know what "turtle hats" is?! Um, yeah, no! I don't know! Do you guys know? Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Fine! If you guys aren't gonna take this thing seriously, I'm gonna go work on this thing by myself.
- Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! It just doesn't make any sense.
Don't you know?! These kids have codes.
You got to learn the codes if you're gonna be doing this kind of thing.
Oh, my gosh, am I that uncool that I don't get the lingo people are using today? I think you're reading too much into this.
Oh, oh, come on, I mean, w-we kind of hit it off, you know? Oh, did you know that his uncle's dog was born in the same town that I was? Isn't that neat? Isn't that real - I don't know.
- Wings are up.
- Okay, take this! - Whoa, whoa! Oh, boy.
Oh, man, I almost forgot! Check out what I swiped from my cousin! Oh, my gosh, Sumo, we got to watch it! I know! Uh, wait, where'd Jeff go? Oh, wait, there he is.
Jeff! Hey, Jeff! Hey, Jeff! Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Unh! - Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Ugh! What?! I'm sorry that we made you mad.
Yeah, come on, let's go do stuff! No, I want to work on this project.
Now leave me alone.
Yeah, but we want to work on the project, too! Oh, yeah, we we're gonna do, um, we're - Research! - Research? - Research? - Research.
- Oh, yeah.
- What kind of research? We're gonna watch, um, an education film all about turtles! Educational film let's go! You are the most cold-blooded president ever! This isn't about turtles.
It seems to be about a giant iguana who pretends to be - the President of the United States.
- Same thing.
Whoa, cool! Count me in! Mr.
President, you're looking a little green today.
Mr.
President, there's been speculation you're a giant iguana.
What do you have to say to that? - Mr.
President! - Mr.
President! Mr.
President! - Oh, no, they're gonna find out! - Shh! Jeff, where are you going? I want to work on the turtle hats project.
I don't want to sit around and watch a dumb movie.
Hey, it's not dumb! It's cool! Wait, wait, we can we can do something else! - Come on! - What? More "research"? Yeah, we're gonna, um, we're gonna drink soda pop like soup.
Look! I think it tastes different this way.
Oh, that may be one of the most pointless things I've ever seen you do.
We're just wasting time! I've had enough.
I'm leaving.
- We got this! - Yeah, that's really funny, but what are we gonna do for our project for real? What are you talking about? - I worked hard on this, man! - Wait, what'd I do? Sumo, Jeff, come back! Ugh, this is hopeless! Hey, what's the matter with you, huh? You've been bummed out ever since you guys were watching that weird well, actually, pretty good movie.
What's going on? Well, we got this project to do for school, and Jeff and Sumo and I were gonna work on it, and now we're not gonna work on it, and now I don't even know what I'm supposed to do! Looks like you'll just have to figure it out, huh? Hope that advice helped! Hmm, "maybe this weekend, I'll come out of my shell.
" Work shell, that is.
No, no, no, no.
"I wear many different kinds of hats.
" And no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Ugh! The challenge is on you got to figure it out got no information fear, frustration let it out determination in the face of adversity depression surely, someone's doing worse than me what is a turtle hat? Ow, ow, agh! what the heck are turtle ha-a-a-a-ts? So, uh, did you guys finish your turtle hats project? Yeah, neither did I.
Guess I'm gonna get my first "F.
" - I guess I'm gonna get another "F.
" - Unless You guys, you guys, you guys! Huh? What if we just put together the bestest turtle hats presentation ever right now! What do you say? - Sure, why not? - Yeah! Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
Huh? Flashback! This weekend, you'll be doing a project on "turtle hats"? Flashes! - Oh, my gosh.
- Morning, Melanie! I'm looking forward to seeing what interesting assignment you've given your students for teacher evaluation this year.
- Uh, teacher evaluation? - Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just gonna sit over here with the rest of the gang.
Oh, uh uh, right.
Of course! Great.
Uh, sit right there, uh, 'cause it's teacher evaluations today, and, of course, I knew it, and everyone here knows it, so it's good, and let's now get to those presentations! Okay, who wants to go first? Ah, ah, huh?! I'm a turtle, you're a hat will you ever give it back? I didn't do it.
Uh, a poem by Percy.
That's all I have so far.
Okay, thank you, Percy.
Great stuff, everyone! All right, that's all the presentations, right? It's me and Sumo and Jeff, Ms.
Baker! Okay, sure.
Lights! Hey! No, no, no, the numbers are all wrong! The president will not be pleased! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! That's him now! Mr.
President, you're looking a little green today.
I don't even know what you're talking about! These numbers are terrible! No turtle hats this year! You hear that? The wolves are near.
Hurry, to bear force one! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, these turtles are clearly guilty! Don't my turtles have a right to a fair trial? Mr.
President, there's been some speculation that you're a giant turtle.
How do you respond? Lies! All lies, I tell you! He's destroying the city! No, he is saving the city.
Mr.
President, you may be a giant turtle, but you're the greatest president we ever had.
Please, giant turtle, won't you accept this as a token of our love and admiration? Huh? Oh.
Guys, we pulled off the performance of a lifetime.
This is not what I was expecting at all! I know, I know.
Okay, I can explain.
It was just okay, it was all a really silly - misunderstanding.
Uh - "Misunderstanding"? Why, you may be apologizing for the most creative, refreshing example of interdisciplinary curriculum that I've seen in all my years! Congratulations.
Well done, Ms.
Baker.
Oh well, thank you.
I mean, yes, yeah.
Uh, I just wanted to e-encourage independent thinking and, yeah, uh, turtle hats.
Well, my turtle hat's off to everyone in this room.
This is the kind of stuff we need to implement in everyday learning.
- Expect a glowing review.
- Hmm.
Okay, great job, everyone! Okay, well, how about now we put our heads on our desks and take a little nap? Hmm?
Uh, this weekend, you'll be doing a project on "turtle hats"? Come on.
Come on, just take it.
- He knows it's a rock.
- He doesn't know yet.
He's he's not close enough.
Teehee! Okay, I think he just realized it! Okay, guys, we better get started on this assignment.
I'm not 100% sure of what Ms.
Baker wants, so that's why we really need to get down to it.
Are you kidding me? We have all weekend to figure it out! It's poor practice to leave work till the last minute.
Fine! Unh! Done! - Hey, I'm serious! - So am I! Brady, do you know what "turtle hats" means? No idea! What about you, Vu? Do you know what "turtle hats" is?! Um, yeah, no! I don't know! Do you guys know? Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Um, hello? - Um, hello?! - Fine! If you guys aren't gonna take this thing seriously, I'm gonna go work on this thing by myself.
- Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! - Um, goodbye! It just doesn't make any sense.
Don't you know?! These kids have codes.
You got to learn the codes if you're gonna be doing this kind of thing.
Oh, my gosh, am I that uncool that I don't get the lingo people are using today? I think you're reading too much into this.
Oh, oh, come on, I mean, w-we kind of hit it off, you know? Oh, did you know that his uncle's dog was born in the same town that I was? Isn't that neat? Isn't that real - I don't know.
- Wings are up.
- Okay, take this! - Whoa, whoa! Oh, boy.
Oh, man, I almost forgot! Check out what I swiped from my cousin! Oh, my gosh, Sumo, we got to watch it! I know! Uh, wait, where'd Jeff go? Oh, wait, there he is.
Jeff! Hey, Jeff! Hey, Jeff! Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Jeff! - Unh! - Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Jeff.
- Ugh! What?! I'm sorry that we made you mad.
Yeah, come on, let's go do stuff! No, I want to work on this project.
Now leave me alone.
Yeah, but we want to work on the project, too! Oh, yeah, we we're gonna do, um, we're - Research! - Research? - Research? - Research.
- Oh, yeah.
- What kind of research? We're gonna watch, um, an education film all about turtles! Educational film let's go! You are the most cold-blooded president ever! This isn't about turtles.
It seems to be about a giant iguana who pretends to be - the President of the United States.
- Same thing.
Whoa, cool! Count me in! Mr.
President, you're looking a little green today.
Mr.
President, there's been speculation you're a giant iguana.
What do you have to say to that? - Mr.
President! - Mr.
President! Mr.
President! - Oh, no, they're gonna find out! - Shh! Jeff, where are you going? I want to work on the turtle hats project.
I don't want to sit around and watch a dumb movie.
Hey, it's not dumb! It's cool! Wait, wait, we can we can do something else! - Come on! - What? More "research"? Yeah, we're gonna, um, we're gonna drink soda pop like soup.
Look! I think it tastes different this way.
Oh, that may be one of the most pointless things I've ever seen you do.
We're just wasting time! I've had enough.
I'm leaving.
- We got this! - Yeah, that's really funny, but what are we gonna do for our project for real? What are you talking about? - I worked hard on this, man! - Wait, what'd I do? Sumo, Jeff, come back! Ugh, this is hopeless! Hey, what's the matter with you, huh? You've been bummed out ever since you guys were watching that weird well, actually, pretty good movie.
What's going on? Well, we got this project to do for school, and Jeff and Sumo and I were gonna work on it, and now we're not gonna work on it, and now I don't even know what I'm supposed to do! Looks like you'll just have to figure it out, huh? Hope that advice helped! Hmm, "maybe this weekend, I'll come out of my shell.
" Work shell, that is.
No, no, no, no.
"I wear many different kinds of hats.
" And no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Ugh! The challenge is on you got to figure it out got no information fear, frustration let it out determination in the face of adversity depression surely, someone's doing worse than me what is a turtle hat? Ow, ow, agh! what the heck are turtle ha-a-a-a-ts? So, uh, did you guys finish your turtle hats project? Yeah, neither did I.
Guess I'm gonna get my first "F.
" - I guess I'm gonna get another "F.
" - Unless You guys, you guys, you guys! Huh? What if we just put together the bestest turtle hats presentation ever right now! What do you say? - Sure, why not? - Yeah! Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
Huh? Flashback! This weekend, you'll be doing a project on "turtle hats"? Flashes! - Oh, my gosh.
- Morning, Melanie! I'm looking forward to seeing what interesting assignment you've given your students for teacher evaluation this year.
- Uh, teacher evaluation? - Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just gonna sit over here with the rest of the gang.
Oh, uh uh, right.
Of course! Great.
Uh, sit right there, uh, 'cause it's teacher evaluations today, and, of course, I knew it, and everyone here knows it, so it's good, and let's now get to those presentations! Okay, who wants to go first? Ah, ah, huh?! I'm a turtle, you're a hat will you ever give it back? I didn't do it.
Uh, a poem by Percy.
That's all I have so far.
Okay, thank you, Percy.
Great stuff, everyone! All right, that's all the presentations, right? It's me and Sumo and Jeff, Ms.
Baker! Okay, sure.
Lights! Hey! No, no, no, the numbers are all wrong! The president will not be pleased! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! That's him now! Mr.
President, you're looking a little green today.
I don't even know what you're talking about! These numbers are terrible! No turtle hats this year! You hear that? The wolves are near.
Hurry, to bear force one! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, these turtles are clearly guilty! Don't my turtles have a right to a fair trial? Mr.
President, there's been some speculation that you're a giant turtle.
How do you respond? Lies! All lies, I tell you! He's destroying the city! No, he is saving the city.
Mr.
President, you may be a giant turtle, but you're the greatest president we ever had.
Please, giant turtle, won't you accept this as a token of our love and admiration? Huh? Oh.
Guys, we pulled off the performance of a lifetime.
This is not what I was expecting at all! I know, I know.
Okay, I can explain.
It was just okay, it was all a really silly - misunderstanding.
Uh - "Misunderstanding"? Why, you may be apologizing for the most creative, refreshing example of interdisciplinary curriculum that I've seen in all my years! Congratulations.
Well done, Ms.
Baker.
Oh well, thank you.
I mean, yes, yeah.
Uh, I just wanted to e-encourage independent thinking and, yeah, uh, turtle hats.
Well, my turtle hat's off to everyone in this room.
This is the kind of stuff we need to implement in everyday learning.
- Expect a glowing review.
- Hmm.
Okay, great job, everyone! Okay, well, how about now we put our heads on our desks and take a little nap? Hmm?