Milo Murphy's Law (2016) s01e31 Episode Script
Love Toboggan
1 [TITLE MUSIC.]
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Whoa - # We're all livin' in it # - # Whoa # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Oh! Dad and Milo are out for the day.
Argh.
I figured it was a good day to work on anything I don't want set on fire.
What're you up to? Lunch with someone I have been secretively and clandestinely pining over for months.
Don't feel bad you didn't know, I play things very close to the vest.
- Neal from the comic shop? - Oh.
Yeah.
Well.
We may or may not be going on a date.
- Okay, I don't need to know.
- No, I don't know.
It might be a date or it might be as friends.
Well, did he ask like, "Wanna have lunch?" or "You wanna have lunch?" SARA: He asked with a lunchbox emoji and a question mark.
Okay.
What was his tone when he was texting? - Exactly! - I remember the first time I went out with your father.
He brought an extra hazmat suit just for me.
- That's how I knew it was a date.
- So you think it's a date? Please.
Warn Dad.
Initiate the necessary precautions! MARTIN MURPHY: Hello.
Oh, hi, hon! You think you could text Sara when you're on your way back? She either got a date or not a date at the Diner Downtown.
Got it.
We'll keep Murphy's law far away from the date-not-date at the Diner Downtown.
Bye, honey.
- Bye, Mom! - Bye, Mrs.
Murphy! - Bye, Mrs.
Milo's mom! - Well, luckily for Sara and us, today the full force of Murphy's Law will be on Bluster Mountain! Flying down hilly, slippery surfaces at increasing velocity! Are you sure we should be doing this with two Murphys? [SCOFFS.]
Milo and I have been skiing lots of times.
Snow is soft and it melts.
Unlike, for example, concrete.
Which is the worst invention - in the history of mankind.
- The worst.
There are only so many things that can go wrong with snow.
Sixty-two, actually.
I brought a list.
[GROWLS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
And that is one of them.
Giant snowman, check.
That was number 12.
[BOTH SWALLOWING.]
So how long have you been a Doctor Zone fan? Hmm [GASPS.]
Well, the truth is, my dad used to watch it when I was in fourth grade and I got to the point where I would run downstairs every time I heard the theme song and then I wouldn't wanna watch anything else, and then I watched every episode until I could write it down from memory and then I asked my mom if I could change my name to Time Ape, and she said no.
[MAN COUGHS.]
That is really weird.
Um, I think I need to go.
I'll see you around the comic shop, a place where I work but in which I am not at all personally invested.
- No, no, no! - No, what? No mustard? If you feel that strongly about it.
[SIGHS.]
I like that you have strong feelings about things.
- You do? - Yeah.
Not many of my friends have that quality.
Oh, we're friends [SILENTLY.]
Not a date.
[EXHALES.]
It sure is nice to finally get up here.
It's just so relaxing.
[SCREAMING.]
Whoa! Ow! Just a sprain.
Ugh! Happens all the time.
Gah! Have fun! Oof! Meet you back at the lodge for hot cocoa! Movin' right along on that list.
- It's not a to-do list.
- I know.
I don't want to see anyone hit a tree or anything.
- Tree! - Ahhh-oh.
Thanks.
Great reflexes.
Whoa! Whoops.
Whoa! I ordered this from a company online.
They make skis and crutches.
You really are prepared for everything on that list! Maybe you should read it to me, so I'm prepared, too.
- Emotionally.
- Hmm.
What fun would that be? [WOLVES GROWLING.]
Does your list include wolf attacks? Aah! What are they running from? Get out of the way, you stupid wolf! And that's why I didn't think Time Ape was Doctor Zone's brother.
People don't talk about Time Ape on dates.
It was your theory about the Chromium Gazebonate that convinced me.
It was brilliant! Compliment! One point for date.
[BELCHES.]
Ooh, excuse me.
Not date.
- Date! - Not date! - Date! - Not date.
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
ALL: Don't worry.
He can't see us.
Large sheet of metal on a steep incline covered in ice.
And we think it's a good idea to slide down it? I don't wanna tempt fate around Milo.
But it seems pretty safe.
And we can see the end of it.
[ALL SCREAMING AND LAUGHING.]
That silly bolt popped right out of there.
- Yeah, right out.
- There's only one more bolt - holding that thing in.
- Yep.
Just one.
If that other bolt popped out of there, this metal sheet'll roll up like a big spool! Yep.
A spool.
Probably shoulda told somebody or done something about it - instead of standing here yappin'.
- Yep.
Probably.
ALL: Whoa-ho! Yeah that was fun! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Maybe that list was incomplete.
No, this was like number seven.
But, we've made it to the lodge That's where we are supposed to meet Dad.
You know, I really don't like it when they put free samples in these magazines.
Makes it very awkward to read.
Oh, come on! That might not've been a good idea [ALL SCREAM.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the team, I present this placard to Sergio McGuiness who has broken the land speed record on snow aboard his ship, Snow Flyer 3.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Thank you.
Thank you.
I cannot believe this day has happened.
I have worked for this dream my entire life.
My dad tried to break this record aboard the Snow Flyer 2 and died.
[SNIFFLES.]
My grandfather died aboard the Snow Flyer 1.
I spent my whole life here building the Snow Flyer 3.
My wife and kids left me.
But I'm here.
I feel good! I did it, Dad! I [ALL SCREAM.]
CROWD: Come back here.
So I was thinking, we could go to that cool downtown comic shop.
It has all the same comics, but they're arranged more Interestingly? - Date! - Friend! - Date! - Arranged more interestingly? - Who says that to someone they're interested in? - Date! [LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
- Or not? - Let's go! [ALL SCREAM.]
Looks like we are headed for town! Oh, my baby quails! [STRAINING.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
Those aren't quails! They're partridges! Get out of here! [TRAIN HORN SOUNDS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
Hang on! Hey! The Diner Downtown! Sara's date-not-date! Can't we just put our feet out and try to stop? Depends how much you like your feet.
All we can do is try to steer clear of the restaurant! Right! Left! Right! Uh, further right! - Yeah! Whoa, that was close! - Milo, you did it! [ENGINE WHIRRING.]
You'll never take me alive! [SIRENS BLARING.]
[OFFICER OVER SPEAKER.]
Please sir, just don't hurt the commemorative plaque! Isn't this place interestingly laid out? - Mmm-hmm.
- Sara, do you not like comics anymore? No.
Uh.
Yes.
[STUTTERING.]
I know, I've been weird today.
I've been a little in my head about it.
Ugh, I know what you mean.
Sometimes, it's like there are these cosplaying versions of myself in my head debating, and I have to be like, "Shut up, Turgenite alien Neal!" [LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
Or shut up, out loud Neal.
[MILO, MELISSA AND ZACK SCREAM.]
Aw, man! And I just arranged it all so interestingly.
[SARA COUGHING.]
Hey, Sara and Neal from the-comic shop! I don't call you that around the house or anything.
I don't call you anything.
I've never mentioned you.
Of course I mention you, but only the normal amount.
[METAL RATTLING.]
ALL: Huh? Uh-oh, looks like the boiler's overheating.
I'll explain later! [ALL SCREAM.]
- NEAL: Hey, it's my sister! Lizzie! - Hey, Neal! Is that Sara from the comic shop? [BOTH LAUGH UNCOMFORTABLY.]
[SINGING.]
# Toboggans # Are not where you typically look for romance 'Cause there's no way to steer So you might hit a deer Or get snow in your pants Oh, but it's thrilling to be [LAUGHS.]
In a moving death trap like this, you can see Then when push comes to shove This could be a toboggan of love Toboggan of love Toboggan of love ALL: Oh hey, Scott! Oh hey, I've been landscaping.
You like what I've done with the place? [BOTH LAUGH.]
Aah.
MILO: Hey, Cavendish, Dakota! - Hey, Murphy.
- Hey, Milo.
[BARKING.]
Diogee, this isn't safe for a dog.
Go home! And check.
I guess it was a to-do list.
- Sorry about that.
- Are you kidding? That was the best first date ever! It was a date, right? [GASPS.]
All finished.
[CRASH.]
[BARKING.]
[GROANS.]
# It's my world and we're all livin' in it # [MUSIC.]
We're all livin' in it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go MILO: Oh, thanks, everybody! That is so motivational.
Go, Milo Go, Milo, go Whoa I'm not sitting here watching the world turn You know I'd rather spin it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go It's my world and we're all livin' in it
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Whoa - # We're all livin' in it # - # Whoa # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Oh! Dad and Milo are out for the day.
Argh.
I figured it was a good day to work on anything I don't want set on fire.
What're you up to? Lunch with someone I have been secretively and clandestinely pining over for months.
Don't feel bad you didn't know, I play things very close to the vest.
- Neal from the comic shop? - Oh.
Yeah.
Well.
We may or may not be going on a date.
- Okay, I don't need to know.
- No, I don't know.
It might be a date or it might be as friends.
Well, did he ask like, "Wanna have lunch?" or "You wanna have lunch?" SARA: He asked with a lunchbox emoji and a question mark.
Okay.
What was his tone when he was texting? - Exactly! - I remember the first time I went out with your father.
He brought an extra hazmat suit just for me.
- That's how I knew it was a date.
- So you think it's a date? Please.
Warn Dad.
Initiate the necessary precautions! MARTIN MURPHY: Hello.
Oh, hi, hon! You think you could text Sara when you're on your way back? She either got a date or not a date at the Diner Downtown.
Got it.
We'll keep Murphy's law far away from the date-not-date at the Diner Downtown.
Bye, honey.
- Bye, Mom! - Bye, Mrs.
Murphy! - Bye, Mrs.
Milo's mom! - Well, luckily for Sara and us, today the full force of Murphy's Law will be on Bluster Mountain! Flying down hilly, slippery surfaces at increasing velocity! Are you sure we should be doing this with two Murphys? [SCOFFS.]
Milo and I have been skiing lots of times.
Snow is soft and it melts.
Unlike, for example, concrete.
Which is the worst invention - in the history of mankind.
- The worst.
There are only so many things that can go wrong with snow.
Sixty-two, actually.
I brought a list.
[GROWLS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
And that is one of them.
Giant snowman, check.
That was number 12.
[BOTH SWALLOWING.]
So how long have you been a Doctor Zone fan? Hmm [GASPS.]
Well, the truth is, my dad used to watch it when I was in fourth grade and I got to the point where I would run downstairs every time I heard the theme song and then I wouldn't wanna watch anything else, and then I watched every episode until I could write it down from memory and then I asked my mom if I could change my name to Time Ape, and she said no.
[MAN COUGHS.]
That is really weird.
Um, I think I need to go.
I'll see you around the comic shop, a place where I work but in which I am not at all personally invested.
- No, no, no! - No, what? No mustard? If you feel that strongly about it.
[SIGHS.]
I like that you have strong feelings about things.
- You do? - Yeah.
Not many of my friends have that quality.
Oh, we're friends [SILENTLY.]
Not a date.
[EXHALES.]
It sure is nice to finally get up here.
It's just so relaxing.
[SCREAMING.]
Whoa! Ow! Just a sprain.
Ugh! Happens all the time.
Gah! Have fun! Oof! Meet you back at the lodge for hot cocoa! Movin' right along on that list.
- It's not a to-do list.
- I know.
I don't want to see anyone hit a tree or anything.
- Tree! - Ahhh-oh.
Thanks.
Great reflexes.
Whoa! Whoops.
Whoa! I ordered this from a company online.
They make skis and crutches.
You really are prepared for everything on that list! Maybe you should read it to me, so I'm prepared, too.
- Emotionally.
- Hmm.
What fun would that be? [WOLVES GROWLING.]
Does your list include wolf attacks? Aah! What are they running from? Get out of the way, you stupid wolf! And that's why I didn't think Time Ape was Doctor Zone's brother.
People don't talk about Time Ape on dates.
It was your theory about the Chromium Gazebonate that convinced me.
It was brilliant! Compliment! One point for date.
[BELCHES.]
Ooh, excuse me.
Not date.
- Date! - Not date! - Date! - Not date.
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
ALL: Don't worry.
He can't see us.
Large sheet of metal on a steep incline covered in ice.
And we think it's a good idea to slide down it? I don't wanna tempt fate around Milo.
But it seems pretty safe.
And we can see the end of it.
[ALL SCREAMING AND LAUGHING.]
That silly bolt popped right out of there.
- Yeah, right out.
- There's only one more bolt - holding that thing in.
- Yep.
Just one.
If that other bolt popped out of there, this metal sheet'll roll up like a big spool! Yep.
A spool.
Probably shoulda told somebody or done something about it - instead of standing here yappin'.
- Yep.
Probably.
ALL: Whoa-ho! Yeah that was fun! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Maybe that list was incomplete.
No, this was like number seven.
But, we've made it to the lodge That's where we are supposed to meet Dad.
You know, I really don't like it when they put free samples in these magazines.
Makes it very awkward to read.
Oh, come on! That might not've been a good idea [ALL SCREAM.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the team, I present this placard to Sergio McGuiness who has broken the land speed record on snow aboard his ship, Snow Flyer 3.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Thank you.
Thank you.
I cannot believe this day has happened.
I have worked for this dream my entire life.
My dad tried to break this record aboard the Snow Flyer 2 and died.
[SNIFFLES.]
My grandfather died aboard the Snow Flyer 1.
I spent my whole life here building the Snow Flyer 3.
My wife and kids left me.
But I'm here.
I feel good! I did it, Dad! I [ALL SCREAM.]
CROWD: Come back here.
So I was thinking, we could go to that cool downtown comic shop.
It has all the same comics, but they're arranged more Interestingly? - Date! - Friend! - Date! - Arranged more interestingly? - Who says that to someone they're interested in? - Date! [LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
- Or not? - Let's go! [ALL SCREAM.]
Looks like we are headed for town! Oh, my baby quails! [STRAINING.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
Those aren't quails! They're partridges! Get out of here! [TRAIN HORN SOUNDS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
Hang on! Hey! The Diner Downtown! Sara's date-not-date! Can't we just put our feet out and try to stop? Depends how much you like your feet.
All we can do is try to steer clear of the restaurant! Right! Left! Right! Uh, further right! - Yeah! Whoa, that was close! - Milo, you did it! [ENGINE WHIRRING.]
You'll never take me alive! [SIRENS BLARING.]
[OFFICER OVER SPEAKER.]
Please sir, just don't hurt the commemorative plaque! Isn't this place interestingly laid out? - Mmm-hmm.
- Sara, do you not like comics anymore? No.
Uh.
Yes.
[STUTTERING.]
I know, I've been weird today.
I've been a little in my head about it.
Ugh, I know what you mean.
Sometimes, it's like there are these cosplaying versions of myself in my head debating, and I have to be like, "Shut up, Turgenite alien Neal!" [LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
Or shut up, out loud Neal.
[MILO, MELISSA AND ZACK SCREAM.]
Aw, man! And I just arranged it all so interestingly.
[SARA COUGHING.]
Hey, Sara and Neal from the-comic shop! I don't call you that around the house or anything.
I don't call you anything.
I've never mentioned you.
Of course I mention you, but only the normal amount.
[METAL RATTLING.]
ALL: Huh? Uh-oh, looks like the boiler's overheating.
I'll explain later! [ALL SCREAM.]
- NEAL: Hey, it's my sister! Lizzie! - Hey, Neal! Is that Sara from the comic shop? [BOTH LAUGH UNCOMFORTABLY.]
[SINGING.]
# Toboggans # Are not where you typically look for romance 'Cause there's no way to steer So you might hit a deer Or get snow in your pants Oh, but it's thrilling to be [LAUGHS.]
In a moving death trap like this, you can see Then when push comes to shove This could be a toboggan of love Toboggan of love Toboggan of love ALL: Oh hey, Scott! Oh hey, I've been landscaping.
You like what I've done with the place? [BOTH LAUGH.]
Aah.
MILO: Hey, Cavendish, Dakota! - Hey, Murphy.
- Hey, Milo.
[BARKING.]
Diogee, this isn't safe for a dog.
Go home! And check.
I guess it was a to-do list.
- Sorry about that.
- Are you kidding? That was the best first date ever! It was a date, right? [GASPS.]
All finished.
[CRASH.]
[BARKING.]
[GROANS.]
# It's my world and we're all livin' in it # [MUSIC.]
We're all livin' in it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go MILO: Oh, thanks, everybody! That is so motivational.
Go, Milo Go, Milo, go Whoa I'm not sitting here watching the world turn You know I'd rather spin it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go It's my world and we're all livin' in it