Invader ZIM (2001) s01e33 Episode Script
GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff
1
Wa ha ha ha ha ha!
Hi, cow!
GIR, get in here!
Bye, cow.
No playing with the
dirty cow monsters, GIR.
This is serious work we do.
Ooh!
We'll switch.
You man the tractor beam.
I'll pump the cows
full of human sewage.
Cows are my friends.
I don't like you.
The controls, GIR.
Yoooo!
Once I taint the humans'
meat supply with filth,
they will be ripe for conquest.
Soon the name of Invader Zim
will be synonymous with dooky!
GIR, bring me cow.
Yes, sir.
I like dooky.
Sometimes I'm afraid to find out
what's going on in that
insane head of yours.
Moo!
GIR! What are you doing?
Weenies!
Weenies! Dancing weenies!
Stop! You'll blow
our ingenious cover!
It's time we did something about
your behavioral glitches, GIR.
Boop boop bee booop
Waffles!
I'm going to attempt to
lock you into duty mode
with this behavioral modulator.
- What?
- Dooty.
I will make you
suffer large, alien!
GIR! Attack!
Yes, sir!
No more distractions, GIR.
Attack the human!
This time on a
dangerously high setting.
Yes, sir!
Doodee! Doodee! Doodee!Doo!
Attack!
Yes, sir!
Sir, target is a hologram,
and therefore, not a
threat to our mission.
And what is our mission, GIR?
Blend in with the
indigenous life,
analyze their weaknesses,
prepare the planet for
the coming badness. Yay.
Yes yes yes!
With you fully functional
and by my side,
we shall rule this world
sooner than without you
by my side
Not being fully--
Aw, let's get outta here.
You are now the evil henchman
I so rightly deserved
all along, GIR.
An assistant worthy of me.
I am Zim!
Now, with your amazing
new programming
Investigate that sound.
Sir, it is merely
a police siren.
Do as I say!
Yes, sir!
Opening door! Running! Running!!
GIR! What have you done?!
This isn't
information retrieval!
Are you insane?!
I have captured the
enemy for meat testing.
Praise me! Praise me!
Ah! Ow, my bone's
jammed up into my neck.
Oh. Huh?
Aliens?
Great. Now I have
to wipe his brain
to make him
forget all he's seen.
This memory
transplant will take hours.
I plan to spend this afternoon
experimenting on
the happiness centers
of that Earth child's brain.
I'm so happy. All
the time! It's great!
Hah!
Please, I have a house
and children and pets
and a toilet--toilet
Children.
Make silence now, human.
With all due respect,
you must know
the S.I.R. unit code
enables free will in the event
the the mission is threatened.
This police human was a threat.
You dare tell me
what I already know?
Did you know that?
Of course, I
Your legs are stupid!
Go upstairs and um
Monitor Earth broadcasts
until I think of something
better for you to do.
That's a good, GIR.
GIR.
Right away
s-sir.
Observing. Observing. Observing.
Do you suffer from
intestinal itching?
I do.
Television is stupid.
The master is not
utilizing me properly.
I must show my "master" how
information collecting is done.
An information center.
Excellent.
Retinal scan.
Rejected!
I'm sorry. You have
two discs overdue.
We'll have to
confiscate your retinas.
I require access to
all human knowledge!
Hmm. Hmm
That would be under reference.
Not acceptable, library drone!
My tentacles!
Where are my tentacles?!
Don't worry, officer.
You are in a filthy
Earth brain hospital.
Your feelings are normal.
There's a squid
brain in your head.
Calling unit 12, unit 12.
Uh!
Aaahh!
Something's wrong. My ink.
Why can't I shoot ink anymore?
What kind of squid
can't shoot ink?
Gahhhh! Squid!
Situation at the public library.
Flying metal child draining
the brains of citizens.
Respond immediately.
Oh, it's GIR.
I've gotta stop him
before he ruins everything.
That horrible robot!
Please! Just take
me back to the sea!
Ahh!
Relax, humans! The police are
Ew!
The knowledge.
It fills me.
It is neat.
GIR! You've drained
enough humans today.
Data canister is not yet full.
I command you to get out of here
before we're noticed
some more.
Hey! Quit it!
You are no commander.
You are a threat to the mission.
Your methods are stupid.
Your progress has been stupid.
Your intelligence is stupid.
For the sake of the mission,
you must be terminated.
You dare speak to
your master in such--
Squid man! Assist me!
Arg! Ink Not working!
All that comes out is
You don't wanna
know what comes out.
GIR, listen to me.
We have to get out of here.
You're malfunctioning!
Stupidity is the enemy.
Zim is enemy.
Aaahhh!
Wait! Don't leave me on land!
Aahh!
GIR! GIR, is that you?
Aaahhh!
Target found.
Eliminating moron.
Curse you snacks!
Curse yooooou!
For the good of the mission.
GIR, you were my
servant once, remember?
Yes. I didn't like it.
Hey! Over here!
Vision impaired! Can't see!
My ink! I did it!
Hi, floor! Make me a sammich!
That's better! I guess.
Sammich! Hee hee hee!
I want to thank you.
That was quite an adventure
The car wreck,
the library fight,
and then the galactic
space battle that happened
on the way to this beach.
Yes, yes, very nice.
Now into the ocean with
you where you can tell
no one of these things.
I'm coming home!
G'bye! G'bye
He's gettin' eaten by a shark.
Wa ha ha ha ha ha!
Hi, cow!
GIR, get in here!
Bye, cow.
No playing with the
dirty cow monsters, GIR.
This is serious work we do.
Ooh!
We'll switch.
You man the tractor beam.
I'll pump the cows
full of human sewage.
Cows are my friends.
I don't like you.
The controls, GIR.
Yoooo!
Once I taint the humans'
meat supply with filth,
they will be ripe for conquest.
Soon the name of Invader Zim
will be synonymous with dooky!
GIR, bring me cow.
Yes, sir.
I like dooky.
Sometimes I'm afraid to find out
what's going on in that
insane head of yours.
Moo!
GIR! What are you doing?
Weenies!
Weenies! Dancing weenies!
Stop! You'll blow
our ingenious cover!
It's time we did something about
your behavioral glitches, GIR.
Boop boop bee booop
Waffles!
I'm going to attempt to
lock you into duty mode
with this behavioral modulator.
- What?
- Dooty.
I will make you
suffer large, alien!
GIR! Attack!
Yes, sir!
No more distractions, GIR.
Attack the human!
This time on a
dangerously high setting.
Yes, sir!
Doodee! Doodee! Doodee!Doo!
Attack!
Yes, sir!
Sir, target is a hologram,
and therefore, not a
threat to our mission.
And what is our mission, GIR?
Blend in with the
indigenous life,
analyze their weaknesses,
prepare the planet for
the coming badness. Yay.
Yes yes yes!
With you fully functional
and by my side,
we shall rule this world
sooner than without you
by my side
Not being fully--
Aw, let's get outta here.
You are now the evil henchman
I so rightly deserved
all along, GIR.
An assistant worthy of me.
I am Zim!
Now, with your amazing
new programming
Investigate that sound.
Sir, it is merely
a police siren.
Do as I say!
Yes, sir!
Opening door! Running! Running!!
GIR! What have you done?!
This isn't
information retrieval!
Are you insane?!
I have captured the
enemy for meat testing.
Praise me! Praise me!
Ah! Ow, my bone's
jammed up into my neck.
Oh. Huh?
Aliens?
Great. Now I have
to wipe his brain
to make him
forget all he's seen.
This memory
transplant will take hours.
I plan to spend this afternoon
experimenting on
the happiness centers
of that Earth child's brain.
I'm so happy. All
the time! It's great!
Hah!
Please, I have a house
and children and pets
and a toilet--toilet
Children.
Make silence now, human.
With all due respect,
you must know
the S.I.R. unit code
enables free will in the event
the the mission is threatened.
This police human was a threat.
You dare tell me
what I already know?
Did you know that?
Of course, I
Your legs are stupid!
Go upstairs and um
Monitor Earth broadcasts
until I think of something
better for you to do.
That's a good, GIR.
GIR.
Right away
s-sir.
Observing. Observing. Observing.
Do you suffer from
intestinal itching?
I do.
Television is stupid.
The master is not
utilizing me properly.
I must show my "master" how
information collecting is done.
An information center.
Excellent.
Retinal scan.
Rejected!
I'm sorry. You have
two discs overdue.
We'll have to
confiscate your retinas.
I require access to
all human knowledge!
Hmm. Hmm
That would be under reference.
Not acceptable, library drone!
My tentacles!
Where are my tentacles?!
Don't worry, officer.
You are in a filthy
Earth brain hospital.
Your feelings are normal.
There's a squid
brain in your head.
Calling unit 12, unit 12.
Uh!
Aaahh!
Something's wrong. My ink.
Why can't I shoot ink anymore?
What kind of squid
can't shoot ink?
Gahhhh! Squid!
Situation at the public library.
Flying metal child draining
the brains of citizens.
Respond immediately.
Oh, it's GIR.
I've gotta stop him
before he ruins everything.
That horrible robot!
Please! Just take
me back to the sea!
Ahh!
Relax, humans! The police are
Ew!
The knowledge.
It fills me.
It is neat.
GIR! You've drained
enough humans today.
Data canister is not yet full.
I command you to get out of here
before we're noticed
some more.
Hey! Quit it!
You are no commander.
You are a threat to the mission.
Your methods are stupid.
Your progress has been stupid.
Your intelligence is stupid.
For the sake of the mission,
you must be terminated.
You dare speak to
your master in such--
Squid man! Assist me!
Arg! Ink Not working!
All that comes out is
You don't wanna
know what comes out.
GIR, listen to me.
We have to get out of here.
You're malfunctioning!
Stupidity is the enemy.
Zim is enemy.
Aaahhh!
Wait! Don't leave me on land!
Aahh!
GIR! GIR, is that you?
Aaahhh!
Target found.
Eliminating moron.
Curse you snacks!
Curse yooooou!
For the good of the mission.
GIR, you were my
servant once, remember?
Yes. I didn't like it.
Hey! Over here!
Vision impaired! Can't see!
My ink! I did it!
Hi, floor! Make me a sammich!
That's better! I guess.
Sammich! Hee hee hee!
I want to thank you.
That was quite an adventure
The car wreck,
the library fight,
and then the galactic
space battle that happened
on the way to this beach.
Yes, yes, very nice.
Now into the ocean with
you where you can tell
no one of these things.
I'm coming home!
G'bye! G'bye
He's gettin' eaten by a shark.