Bewitched (1964) s01e34 Episode Script

Hello? Oh, hi, Shirley.
Yeah, well, of course I sound happy.
My husband just told me he loves me.
Oh, you won't be able to have the rally at your house tonight? Well, of course we can have it here.
No, no, Darrin won't mind.
He likes me to do things like that, very civic-minded.
He just told me he was proud of me.
No, no.
No trouble at all.
Bye.
- What about the library? - Find a seat, please.
Would you take a seat, please? Pardon me.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, I'm so glad you could come.
It is my privilege to introduce to you the man who will soon be the next councilman for Morning Glory Circle Mr.
Ed Wright.
Thanks for a warm reception.
And to you, Mrs.
Stephens for use of your home on short notice.
I appreciate your taking time out of your busy lives to come here so we could talk about my campaign.
We are all familiar with the record of John C.
Cavanaugh.
I don't think it's necessary to warn you as citizens of this community as to the consequences of putting this man in office for another term.
We have been handled and manoeuvred to suit the purposes of the present administration, and I think it's about time we stopped - Hi.
- Hi.
- What is all this? - Isn't it exciting? - I was gonna call you.
- Call me about what? What are all those people doing here? - Darrin, you're gonna be proud of me.
- Are you sure? You've wanted me to be active in the community and be interested in civic affairs.
- Yes, honey, but all those people There's a lot going on in this town that you don't know about.
There's a lot going on in this house I don't know about.
Shirley was having the Ed Wright for Councilman meeting at her place.
But then she couldn't, so I said we could have it here.
Darrin, he's wonderful, and you should hear him speak.
He's a Korean War veteran, a graduate lawyer, and he's very bright.
So really, I know he'll be wonderful for Morning Glory Circle.
That's why I knew you'd be proud of me.
Hold it, honey, hold it.
Why couldn't Shirley Foster have the meeting at her house? Well, her husband works hard at the office all day and when he comes home, he doesn't like a lot of people around.
My opponent, John C.
Cavanaugh has been dipping his fingers into city funds for too long.
Why is it that no outside company has ever managed to secure a bid for any civic project? The roads, parks, schools, the auditorium, the library all built by firms owned totally, or in part, by John C.
Cavanaugh.
The IJ Fentris Cement and Concrete Company they helped build our elementary school.
Its façade collapsed within two years, remember? Cavanaugh talked about an investigation.
There never was one.
The Oster-Halth Pipe Company he gave them the contract to lay our leaking gas mains.
And the construction engineers who designed our deteriorating library.
And now, the costliest project of all: The Morning Glory Circle storm drain and water system.
Here, photocopies.
Photocopies of those contracts granted to the same incompetents by John C.
Cavanaugh.
Now this is a sort of thing, we, you and I have to put a stop to once and for all.
Abner, isn't it wonderful? Not bad.
The potato salad is a little salty.
You mean Cavanaugh has been getting away with murder for the past 10 or 12 years? - As far as we can tell, yes.
I've pushed for an investigation since the start of the campaign.
That is the crummiest thing I ever heard.
It should be obvious to any schoolkid that the entire improvement program Well, it's a Cavanaugh monopoly.
Darrin, it's getting awfully late.
Mr.
Wright must be dead tired.
Well, I am getting a bit weary, but having interested someone as enthusiastic as yourself, I can sit up all night.
Strange what goes on in the community without you knowing anything about it.
That's what I said.
That's where I heard it.
Darrin, this water project is the straw that could break Cavanaugh's back.
Make that the focal point of your campaign.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I've got an idea to run off posters at the office tomorrow.
That would be fine, Darrin, fine.
I'd really appreciate it.
- Well, good night, everybody.
- Good night, Mrs.
Stephens.
Good night, sweetheart.
Maybe a sketch of Cavanaugh with his thumb in the dike dressed up like a little Dutch boy.
We'll figure out some kind of slogan to go along with it, maybe Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows.
Doesn't make any bedfellows at all.
Great, Darrin.
Just great.
These are for the straight campaign 24 sheets.
Has to be a certain amount of hard sell.
- It's traditional, people expect it.
- I suppose so.
Now, for the subtler taste we have these cartoon layouts.
I think they'll be very effective.
Now, that one I like.
Little Dutch boy, Cavanaugh, with his finger in the dike.
Now the caption reads, " Portrait of a hero with his fingers in everything.
" I've told everyone about how much help you've been and intimated you were practically my campaign manager.
Well, if that's what you want, you've got it.
Okay.
Mr.
Cavanaugh, the latest polls show a 16-percent change in Wright's favour.
- How significant do you feel that to be? - Not very.
How much do you think the water project controversies had to do with Wright's popularity upswing? Controversy? He labels it the key issue of the campaign.
Well, I can't be held accountable for Mr.
Wright's labels.
What about the governor's investigation, sir? - What about it? - Will there be one? I doubt seriously that the governor will be coerced into wasting his time and the state's money by the irresponsible accusations of a politically ambitious youngster.
We can be proud of the finest, most modern, most efficient water and storm drain system in the country.
Be assured it will serve the citizens of this community long after Mr.
Wright and John C.
Cavanaugh are gone and forgotten.
That was Councilman John C.
Cavanaugh.
And this is Charles Turner from the steps of City Hall.
Now we return you to the station and more Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you, Mr.
Cavanaugh? Well, you just better watch your step, because: We are the bright girls Rally round for Wright, girls That isn't funny, Mother.
On the contrary, it's hysterical.
What was that incantation you were gyrating through? That isn't an incantation, it's a cheer.
- What does it do? - It doesn't do anything.
- Then why were you doing it? - Because you see, Mother, in - Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
- Oh, dear, Samantha.
Every time I see you, you seem to be getting more and more confused.
I'm going to a political rally tonight.
What's so confusing about that? Politics? You, in politics? Well, you needn't laugh.
Politics is a very serious business.
Only to politicians, my dear child.
My husband happens to be very proud of me.
- For what? - For taking a position.
I don't know what you're talking about.
And neither do you.
You know, it surprises me sometimes how unaware you can be for having lived as long as you have.
Don't be vulgar, Samantha.
Well, it's true.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready.
I suppose all this was Darwin's idea.
Mother, Darwin's idea was that man was descended from apes.
- This was my idea.
- Descended from the ape? Man? It's called the theory of evolution.
Pity to disillusion him.
Other way around, actually.
And it is no longer a secret, my friends and fellow citizens that John C.
Cavanaugh and his whole corrupt machine are on their way out.
I know it and you know it, and what's more, John C.
Cavanaugh knows it.
The people will be fooled for just so long, then they demand a reckoning.
Too many important issues have been pushed aside unanswered.
Too many real and challenging problems have gone unheeded and unsolved.
Too many private interests have been served and too many public interests have gone unsatisfied.
I say to John C.
Cavanaugh: "We want answers and we want them now.
" Stand up with me before the people, before all the people and give me the answers I want to ask in your behalf.
Any time between now and Election Day I have offered to meet Mr.
Cavanaugh in a television debate to discuss every issue, in the open, no punches pulled.
And I mean every issue including the Morning Glory Circle water and storm drain project.
Whoever delivered Mr.
Cavanaugh's message you can tell him it'll take more than an omelet to keep me off his back.
Abner, did you ever hear such a wonderful speechmaker? Abner, did you ever? Abner.
Abner.
I can't hear a thing, Gladys.
I'm wearing earmuffs.
You ready to go home? My hands are freezing.
I have just been handed the late edition of the Gazette.
The governor has ordered a complete investigation of the water main and storm drain project.
What do you say to that, Cavanaugh? Ten seconds to airtime, and Cavanaugh hasn't shown up yet.
- You don't think he will, do you? - I doubt it, Ed's as good as elected.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
For the past two weeks, Councilman Cavanaugh has ignored my invitation to appear with me on tonight's program.
A debate under these circumstances would seem impossible.
But, present or not one day Mr.
Cavanaugh will be forced to answer these questions.
One now that an investigation is already underway what excuse can he offer for an administration corrupt with nepotism, graft and private interests? If we can take those allegations one at a time, Mr.
Wright perhaps I can deal with them to your satisfaction.
Now, shall we go from the beginning, Mr.
Wright? You have accused me of nepotism, graft, corruption and How did you put it? - Double talk.
I've also been accused of blocking investigations and obstructing justice.
Perhaps we can clarify what seems to be the main issue in this campaign.
We would all appreciate that, Mr.
Cavanaugh.
Fine, now let me not waste any more of our viewers' time.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to present Mr.
Merrill Sedgwick who, ironically, is here tonight at my opponent's instigation.
Mr.
Sedgwick is from the state capitol a member of the governor's investigatory staff.
Mr.
Sedgwick, Mr.
Wright.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
Sedgwick.
We are honoured to welcome a distinguished member of the governor's committee to Morning Glory Circle.
I've spent the past two weeks quietly investigating Morning Glory Circle's new water system from stem to stern and I have nothing but praise for its planning, construction and materials.
Moreover, I'm astonished at the conservative low cost.
This fine water system should last for many, many years.
It has my unqualified endorsement.
Thank you.
My appreciation, Mr.
Wright, for this opportunity afforded me to set the record straight.
Good night, my fellow citizens.
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: Women should not get mixed up in politics.
- You never said it to me.
- Don't split hairs, Sam.
You could've found out if Wright knew what he was talking about before dragging me into this mess.
- I didn't drag you in, Darrin.
Did I not come home weeks ago and find my living room full of women screaming: "We are the bright girls Rally round for Wright, girls"? I was only trying to be part of the community.
You said you were proud when I took an interest in civic affairs.
So I was wrong.
I'm not so perfect that I can't be wrong once in a while.
The truth of the matter is, Cavanaugh trapped everybody into making Go ahead and say it.
"Making fools of themselves.
" Wait'll they find out about this downtown.
I could be finished in the advertising business.
I don't see why.
What if Cavanaugh sues us for slander, what then? He wouldn't do that.
Why wouldn't he? We called him a thief, didn't we? On television! And a state investigator proved he was right and Wright was wrong.
Wright is not wrong, Cavanaugh is just shrewd.
You bet he's shrewd.
He let us hinge our entire campaign on that water project knowing it would stand up under investigation.
Everything else he's done has been dishonest.
If only they'd investigate some of those things.
But they didn't, and they have Sorry, darling.
Mother, meet me downtown immediately.
- Is that you, Mother? - Of course, dear.
Have I ever let you down? We really shouldn't be here, but I had to find out about Cavanaugh.
Still in politics, Samantha? Oh, really.
- Mother, this is very serious.
- Serious for whom? - Darrin.
- Oh, he's so naive.
Doesn't he understand that this latest project of Cavanaugh's is the only legitimate thing the man has done in his life? We have no proof of that.
Well, just looking at the man is proof enough.
We have to have the facts, Mother.
What would you like to know? The deal on the IJ Fentris Cement Company.
- There, dear.
- Thank you.
Well? He's a crook, all right.
Would you get the file on the gas main? It was handled by the Oster-Halth Pipe Company.
- O or P? - O.
There you are.
Well? You were right, Mother.
According to these records Darrin and Mr.
Wright pounced on Mr.
Cavanaugh at the only time he was honest in his whole life.
- Oh, that husband of yours is a lulu.
- Mother.
Well, anyway, you know it's funny, isn't it? - Shall we go? - I think we better.
And thanks for your help, Mother.
- Ven't, and they're not going to.
Oh, there's a simple way to handle this, but Donald wouldn't approve.
On the other hand what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
Good evening.
I'm Abner Kravitz, civil defence block warden.
- Evening, Mr.
Kravitz.
- Evening, Mrs.
Stephens.
You don't have to evacuate your house yet but if I were you, I would keep my radio on KXIW and keep some warm clothes and a rubber life raft near the front door.
- Rubber life raft? - Yeah, don't you have one? No, what do we need a rubber life raft for? A large water main burst at the corner of Elm and Forest.
Flooded most of the neighbourhood.
They say it's under control, but I like to be prepared for the worst.
- Water main? - Yeah, the whole storm drain collapsed.
Excuse me, I've got a few more houses to go to.
Good night, Mr.
Stephens.
Good night, Mrs.
Stephens.
Good night, Mr.
Kravitz.
Flood, isn't that amazing? The length that some people will go to just to win an argument.
- What do you mean? - How'd you do it? Just what are you inferring? Are you gonna stand there and tell me you're not responsible for twitching up this flood? - Yes, I am.
Well, that drain didn't burst by itself.
- Good evening.
- Good evening, Mother.
You'll have to excuse us, we're having a fight.
- What about? - It doesn't concern you, Endora.
Oh, I'm not so sure about that.
- Have you heard about the flood? - Oh, now, Mother - You mean it was you? - I'd certainly like to know who else.
Well, what did you do that for? You've been raving at my daughter.
And everyone else has been perfectly miserable because a water main hasn't burst.
So I just thought I'd burst one.
What good is that going to do? Well, it should prove that Mr.
Sedgwick was wrong.
And they'll probably reopen the investigation and examine all of Mr.
Cavanaugh's past dealings.
That is utter nonsense.
Hello? Yes, Ed.
Are you serious? Yes.
Goodbye, Ed.
- What'd he say? - Sedgwick called Ed and said that he was wrong and they'll probably reopen the investigation and examine all of Mr.
Cavanaugh's past dealings.
- Isn't that what I said? - Yes, Mother.
- Isn't that what he wanted? - Yes, Mother.
Well, what's he's so unhappy about? You wouldn't understand, Mother.
I don't know, it's just that I don't know, it's just all pretty mysterious.
I suppose I should stop fighting it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Good afternoon, councilman.
Come in, and congratulations.
- Samantha, how are you? - Ed, congratulations again.
- Thank you.
- I'd like you to meet my mother.
Mother, this is our new councilman, Ed Wright.
Oh, how do you do? Oh, yes.
I saw you on television, young man.
It was most effective.
You're very kind, Mrs Mrs? Waters.
You're very kind, Mrs.
Waters.
It's the greatest thing I've seen since the Lincoln-Douglas debates.
Hey, your mother has a great sense of humour.
- Yes, hasn't she.
- What's the latest on Cavanaugh? We're going along with the investigations as planned but Cavanaugh's disappeared.
- Really? The general consensus is he's skipped the country.
- Oh, that's too bad.
- We'd like to prosecute him but we have to find him first.
I think he'll probably turn up sooner or later.
- Do you really think so, Mother? - Oh, I'm sure of it.
I'd give anything to have him right here in the palm of my hand.
I'll drink to that.
You have accused me of graft, corruption and nepotism.
My appreciation, Mr.
Wright, for affording me this opportunity of setting the record straight.
Right, my fellow citizens?