Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e34 Episode Script
Up, Up, and Awry
# Daring duck of mystery Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes But his number's up # Darkwing Duck When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing, Darkwing Duck # Cloud of smoke and he appears # Master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind that shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure But bad guys are out of luck # 'Cause here comes - # Darkwing Duck - # Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out, you bad boys # Darkwing Duck # [fanfare playing on trumpet.]
- [bell ringing.]
- [announcer.]
And they're off! [crowd cheering.]
It was the strangest thing I ever saw, officer.
I bent down to clean off my shoe, and when I looked up, my horse, Thunder, had disappeared.
Hmm.
That's the 13th horse this week that's been reported missing.
[Darkwing.]
Yuck.
I have had it with eating that stuff.
If we don't bust this nag-nabbing case soon, I'm gonna start to whinny.
Now come on.
[magnetic buzzing.]
[whinnying.]
[magnetic buzzing.]
Confident of corralling the horse-heisting criminal, the cleverly costumed crime fighter carefully considers every clue.
Ah! Oh! So there you are.
Come on, Lightning, we got a race to win.
[fanfare on trumpet.]
- [bell ringing.]
- [announcer.]
And they're off! [crowd cheering.]
Hey! Knock it off! [crowd cheering.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! [magnetic buzzing.]
[whinnying.]
[brakes screeching.]
Giddyup! [crashing.]
Hey, we won.
- [magnetic buzzing.]
- What?! [whinnying.]
[Darkwing.]
Why, of course.
I should have known.
It's Megavolt.
He's stealing steeds by magnetizing their horseshoes.
Lightning, you never told me you could talk.
Well, sorry for the deception, friend, but I'm really Darkwing Duck.
Well, what do you know? A talking horse with a split personality.
[magnetic buzzing.]
This good luck horseshoe should do the trick.
Up, up and away.
Well, howdy, cowboy.
[laughing.]
Howdy yourself, you pony pilferer.
Now cease and desist at once, or you'll be really, really sorry.
Oh, but I'm already sorry.
Sorry I won't be around to see you go splat.
Splat? Oh, splat.
Now I get it.
[crashing.]
Remote-controlled electromagnet.
Hey, DW, Megavolt's blimp is getting away.
[screaming.]
- It's a bird.
- It's a plane.
It's a bird and a plane.
[all.]
It's Gizmoduck! Luckily, I was in the vicinity promoting my new book, Gizmoduck: The Making of a Superhero, Soon to be a major motion picture.
But more about that later, friends.
[# playing fanfare.]
For now, I must do what a superhero must do.
[cheering.]
Being a superhero is easy when you have the right tools.
See? All right, Gizmo! That's our winner! All right, Gizmo! That's our winner! [camera shutters clicking.]
Hold it, you hack! I'm the hero in this megalopolis.
This is my turf, pal, so hand over my merchandise.
Well, if you insist on not sharing, here.
Boy Am I a take-charge kind of guy or what? Don't answer that.
[announcer.]
And so, even though Megavolt managed to escape, St, Canardians are sure to sleep better tonight knowing that superhero, Gizmoduck's back in town, [mocking.]
"St.
Canardians are sure to sleep better tonight.
" Ha! Not this St.
Canardian.
I'm sick of hearing about superhero, Gizmoduck.
From now on, I'm sticking to reading.
[exclaiming.]
Hey, Dad Shouldn't you be out chasing Megavolt or something? Et tu, Gosalyn? My own daughter, wearing a Gizmoduck T-shirt? Pretty cool, huh? I got it free with my Gizmo-burger.
I don't believe this.
Gizmoduck comes to town and suddenly Darkwing Duck is an unsung hero.
An ignored icon.
[sighing.]
A completely passed-over protagonist.
Well, I'll be back when you've re-established your ego.
See ya! [hammering on metal.]
Can't I even seethe in silence? Oh, sorry, DW.
I was just tightening up a few whatchamacallits and thingamabobs.
You know, so you can get back to the hero-izing.
What for? So I can do all the dirty work and Gizmo can get all the glory? [Gizmo.]
Did someone mention glory? Don't you ever knock? This superhero has more on his mind than manners, Darkwing.
The new Gizmo-doll is defective.
It has a screw loose.
And that surprises him? It's supposed to fly and say, "Beware evildoers.
" But instead, it wets and says, "Mama.
" Mama, Oh, well, I'll just have my people sue their people.
In the meantime, Darkwing, I have an idea.
I propose that Darkwing Duck and Gizmoduck join forces to capture the malicious Megavolt, and bring him to justice.
Sounds like a pretty nifty idea.
After all, DW, you know Megavolt better than anybody.
If it's a deal, sign here.
I wouldn't work with you even if the entire planet was facing imminent doom.
- [rumbling.]
- [all.]
Whoa! Oooh! What would I do without my little buzzy-buzz saw? - [rattling.]
- Whoa! Don't worry, friends.
My talents lie in saving the day.
Hmm.
Emergency brake seems to be stuck.
I'm afraid you've just been hooked, lined and suckered.
It'll take more than a little hook to stop Gizmoduck! Superpowered superhero! [Gizmo.]
Oh! That smarts.
[Megavolt.]
Let's see, I picked up the horseshoes, I picked up the industrial-strength wiring.
So all I have to do now is put them together [Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
I am the blown fuse that blacks you out.
I am Darkwing Duck! Must you always introduce yourself? Yahhhhh! Well That wasn't so bad.
Well It will be! [laughing.]
What's the matter, Dip-wing? I thought all superheroes could fly.
For your information, superpowers do not a hero make.
They'd sure come in handy right now.
[electrical zapping.]
[sputtering.]
- [gasping.]
- [growling.]
Do I look worried? [creaking.]
OK.
OK! I'm worried.
I'm worried! Nice sharkie-warkies.
Nice sharkies.
Gizmo, are you all right? Fine and dandy, Launchpad.
I would have got us out sooner, but the Thunderquack needed a tune up and oil change.
[thumping and struggling.]
[Darkwing.]
Let me out of here! Open wide.
And take that, and that.
And some of this.
And take one of these.
What's the big idea? I had that shark right where I wanted him.
Nothing like saving a few hundred lives before bedtime.
This is so humiliating.
Here he is, Launchpad, safe, sound and sulking.
I gotta hand it to you, Gizmo.
You saved the day again.
Yeah? Well, if he's such a hotshot hero, why is he letting Megavolt get away? [Megavolt.]
This must be my lucky night.
Not only did I dunk Darkwing like a donut, but I captured the coil of my dreams.
- [engine approaching.]
- [gasping.]
Gizmoduck! Oh, no! Please, no! Bad guys, beware.
Break the law and you will be busted.
[Megavolt screaming.]
And so finally, Megavolt is safely locked up behind bars.
How can the citizens of St.
Canard ever thank you, Giz? No thanks are necessary, Barb.
I just did what any superpowered superhero would do, [Darkwing.]
Oh, it's just not fair.
There's no way I can compete with that noodle-headed nitwit and his supercilious superpowers.
Hmm.
Unless [Darkwing.]
Science having failed him, Darkwing Duck resorts to the supernatural to gain his superpowers.
Gee, DW, are you sure this gamma-gamma-phi-beta-kappa ray will give you superpowers? Sure, I'm sure.
Don't you ever watch any late-night movies? Yeah, but in the movies something always goes wrong.
[machine whirring.]
- [bell ringing.]
- [electrical zapping.]
Well, don't just stand there, Launchpad, get the broom.
What are we gonna do, Launchpad? I've never seen him so depressed.
Don't worry, kiddo.
I think I found a way to cheer him up.
[crashing.]
Oh, no! What did you do to Gizmo? Nothing.
I asked for his help.
[Gizmo.]
Surprise! Look what I made you.
All right, I give up.
What is it? It's your very own supersuit, DW.
And it's so simple, even a child could operate it.
Stick with me, Darkwing, and I'll teach you everything I know.
Well, that should take a good four or five minutes.
Now, I suggest we start with the little crimes and Whoa! Who turned off the lights?! It's got to be Megavolt.
He's the only cad who could short-circuit a city this size.
Impossible! He's in jail.
I put him there myself.
- Well, he could have a twin.
- Hardly.
That's Megavolt and I'm going to stop him.
Wait! You're not ready to solo yet, cadet.
I'll handle this.
No way.
This time I'm the superpowered superhero.
Hey! Slow down! Stop! Oh, is this gonna hurt.
I'll be back.
Yikes! As soon as I figure out how to stop.
[sputtering.]
Never fear! Gizmoduck is here.
I love these last-minute heroic saves.
They're so whoop invigorating! Yahhhh! [screaming.]
[screaming.]
[both.]
Whoaaaa! Not to worry, Darkwing.
Remember, you're with a real superpowered superhero.
- [sputtering.]
- Gee, I guess my batteries are low.
Nice work.
This is it! I can't hang on much longer.
Oh, what an untimely demise.
Oh.
[chuckling.]
There's nothing to worry about when you're with Gizmoduck, superpowered superhero.
[kissing.]
Goodbye, my little horseshoes.
[bubbling.]
And hello, my big horseshoe.
[laughing.]
Now, with the help of this lovely, lively wire, I'll soon have the world's biggest electromagnet! This is it, Megavolt's hideout.
Why would Megavolt come back here, where we'd be sure to find him? Simple.
Cheap rent.
[rumbling.]
Ah-ha! Only one fiend, and one fiend alone, could create a giant electromagnet like that.
Who? Close your eyes, I'll give you three guesses.
Oh, goody-goody.
Let's see, uh Gee, this is a hard one.
Uh Is he bigger than a bread basket? Once I plug in my lucky horseshoe, all the metal in the entire city will be drawn to me.
And once I have the city's metal, I'll melt it all down.
And I'll make an even bigger electromagnet.
Yes! Yes! The bigger the magnet, the bigger the haul.
And the bigger the haul, the bigger the magnet! [Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
Oh, no.
Not him again.
I am Darkwing, superpowered superhero, Duck! Oh, too bad.
I thought you were a traveling hardware store.
Let's see now.
Which one of these buttons controls my arsenal of bad-guy booby traps? There! That should do it.
Wait, wait, wait! Stop! - Whoa! - [crashing.]
Those do-it-yourself haircuts never worked out for me either.
Your plans just short-circuited, Megavolt.
You can go peacefully, or in pieces.
The choice is yours.
Oh, I just hate to make decisions.
So I won't! [electrical buzzing.]
Uh-oh! [screaming.]
It's working! My plan is working! Whoaaaa! I'm afraid we're in big trouble, Darkwing.
Without this suit, I'm nothing.
You may be nothing, but I'm not.
OK, time to get back to basics.
Try and catch me, battery-breath.
[panting.]
Let this be a lesson: Never waste electricity.
Feeling the need to succumb, scum? [weak electrical buzzing.]
Electricity, I need electricity.
Coming right up! Hey! What are you doing?! No! Stop! I'll be magnetized! How shocking.
[screaming.]
Talk about your magnetic personality.
[Gosalyn.]
No! Don't! It's OK, little Gizmo-buddy, he's helping me pound out these dents.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You see, guys, being a superpowered superhero does have its disadvantages.
I mean when's the last time you saw Darkwing Duck get a dent? [crashing.]
Don't answer that.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck
- [bell ringing.]
- [announcer.]
And they're off! [crowd cheering.]
It was the strangest thing I ever saw, officer.
I bent down to clean off my shoe, and when I looked up, my horse, Thunder, had disappeared.
Hmm.
That's the 13th horse this week that's been reported missing.
[Darkwing.]
Yuck.
I have had it with eating that stuff.
If we don't bust this nag-nabbing case soon, I'm gonna start to whinny.
Now come on.
[magnetic buzzing.]
[whinnying.]
[magnetic buzzing.]
Confident of corralling the horse-heisting criminal, the cleverly costumed crime fighter carefully considers every clue.
Ah! Oh! So there you are.
Come on, Lightning, we got a race to win.
[fanfare on trumpet.]
- [bell ringing.]
- [announcer.]
And they're off! [crowd cheering.]
Hey! Knock it off! [crowd cheering.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! [magnetic buzzing.]
[whinnying.]
[brakes screeching.]
Giddyup! [crashing.]
Hey, we won.
- [magnetic buzzing.]
- What?! [whinnying.]
[Darkwing.]
Why, of course.
I should have known.
It's Megavolt.
He's stealing steeds by magnetizing their horseshoes.
Lightning, you never told me you could talk.
Well, sorry for the deception, friend, but I'm really Darkwing Duck.
Well, what do you know? A talking horse with a split personality.
[magnetic buzzing.]
This good luck horseshoe should do the trick.
Up, up and away.
Well, howdy, cowboy.
[laughing.]
Howdy yourself, you pony pilferer.
Now cease and desist at once, or you'll be really, really sorry.
Oh, but I'm already sorry.
Sorry I won't be around to see you go splat.
Splat? Oh, splat.
Now I get it.
[crashing.]
Remote-controlled electromagnet.
Hey, DW, Megavolt's blimp is getting away.
[screaming.]
- It's a bird.
- It's a plane.
It's a bird and a plane.
[all.]
It's Gizmoduck! Luckily, I was in the vicinity promoting my new book, Gizmoduck: The Making of a Superhero, Soon to be a major motion picture.
But more about that later, friends.
[# playing fanfare.]
For now, I must do what a superhero must do.
[cheering.]
Being a superhero is easy when you have the right tools.
See? All right, Gizmo! That's our winner! All right, Gizmo! That's our winner! [camera shutters clicking.]
Hold it, you hack! I'm the hero in this megalopolis.
This is my turf, pal, so hand over my merchandise.
Well, if you insist on not sharing, here.
Boy Am I a take-charge kind of guy or what? Don't answer that.
[announcer.]
And so, even though Megavolt managed to escape, St, Canardians are sure to sleep better tonight knowing that superhero, Gizmoduck's back in town, [mocking.]
"St.
Canardians are sure to sleep better tonight.
" Ha! Not this St.
Canardian.
I'm sick of hearing about superhero, Gizmoduck.
From now on, I'm sticking to reading.
[exclaiming.]
Hey, Dad Shouldn't you be out chasing Megavolt or something? Et tu, Gosalyn? My own daughter, wearing a Gizmoduck T-shirt? Pretty cool, huh? I got it free with my Gizmo-burger.
I don't believe this.
Gizmoduck comes to town and suddenly Darkwing Duck is an unsung hero.
An ignored icon.
[sighing.]
A completely passed-over protagonist.
Well, I'll be back when you've re-established your ego.
See ya! [hammering on metal.]
Can't I even seethe in silence? Oh, sorry, DW.
I was just tightening up a few whatchamacallits and thingamabobs.
You know, so you can get back to the hero-izing.
What for? So I can do all the dirty work and Gizmo can get all the glory? [Gizmo.]
Did someone mention glory? Don't you ever knock? This superhero has more on his mind than manners, Darkwing.
The new Gizmo-doll is defective.
It has a screw loose.
And that surprises him? It's supposed to fly and say, "Beware evildoers.
" But instead, it wets and says, "Mama.
" Mama, Oh, well, I'll just have my people sue their people.
In the meantime, Darkwing, I have an idea.
I propose that Darkwing Duck and Gizmoduck join forces to capture the malicious Megavolt, and bring him to justice.
Sounds like a pretty nifty idea.
After all, DW, you know Megavolt better than anybody.
If it's a deal, sign here.
I wouldn't work with you even if the entire planet was facing imminent doom.
- [rumbling.]
- [all.]
Whoa! Oooh! What would I do without my little buzzy-buzz saw? - [rattling.]
- Whoa! Don't worry, friends.
My talents lie in saving the day.
Hmm.
Emergency brake seems to be stuck.
I'm afraid you've just been hooked, lined and suckered.
It'll take more than a little hook to stop Gizmoduck! Superpowered superhero! [Gizmo.]
Oh! That smarts.
[Megavolt.]
Let's see, I picked up the horseshoes, I picked up the industrial-strength wiring.
So all I have to do now is put them together [Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
I am the blown fuse that blacks you out.
I am Darkwing Duck! Must you always introduce yourself? Yahhhhh! Well That wasn't so bad.
Well It will be! [laughing.]
What's the matter, Dip-wing? I thought all superheroes could fly.
For your information, superpowers do not a hero make.
They'd sure come in handy right now.
[electrical zapping.]
[sputtering.]
- [gasping.]
- [growling.]
Do I look worried? [creaking.]
OK.
OK! I'm worried.
I'm worried! Nice sharkie-warkies.
Nice sharkies.
Gizmo, are you all right? Fine and dandy, Launchpad.
I would have got us out sooner, but the Thunderquack needed a tune up and oil change.
[thumping and struggling.]
[Darkwing.]
Let me out of here! Open wide.
And take that, and that.
And some of this.
And take one of these.
What's the big idea? I had that shark right where I wanted him.
Nothing like saving a few hundred lives before bedtime.
This is so humiliating.
Here he is, Launchpad, safe, sound and sulking.
I gotta hand it to you, Gizmo.
You saved the day again.
Yeah? Well, if he's such a hotshot hero, why is he letting Megavolt get away? [Megavolt.]
This must be my lucky night.
Not only did I dunk Darkwing like a donut, but I captured the coil of my dreams.
- [engine approaching.]
- [gasping.]
Gizmoduck! Oh, no! Please, no! Bad guys, beware.
Break the law and you will be busted.
[Megavolt screaming.]
And so finally, Megavolt is safely locked up behind bars.
How can the citizens of St.
Canard ever thank you, Giz? No thanks are necessary, Barb.
I just did what any superpowered superhero would do, [Darkwing.]
Oh, it's just not fair.
There's no way I can compete with that noodle-headed nitwit and his supercilious superpowers.
Hmm.
Unless [Darkwing.]
Science having failed him, Darkwing Duck resorts to the supernatural to gain his superpowers.
Gee, DW, are you sure this gamma-gamma-phi-beta-kappa ray will give you superpowers? Sure, I'm sure.
Don't you ever watch any late-night movies? Yeah, but in the movies something always goes wrong.
[machine whirring.]
- [bell ringing.]
- [electrical zapping.]
Well, don't just stand there, Launchpad, get the broom.
What are we gonna do, Launchpad? I've never seen him so depressed.
Don't worry, kiddo.
I think I found a way to cheer him up.
[crashing.]
Oh, no! What did you do to Gizmo? Nothing.
I asked for his help.
[Gizmo.]
Surprise! Look what I made you.
All right, I give up.
What is it? It's your very own supersuit, DW.
And it's so simple, even a child could operate it.
Stick with me, Darkwing, and I'll teach you everything I know.
Well, that should take a good four or five minutes.
Now, I suggest we start with the little crimes and Whoa! Who turned off the lights?! It's got to be Megavolt.
He's the only cad who could short-circuit a city this size.
Impossible! He's in jail.
I put him there myself.
- Well, he could have a twin.
- Hardly.
That's Megavolt and I'm going to stop him.
Wait! You're not ready to solo yet, cadet.
I'll handle this.
No way.
This time I'm the superpowered superhero.
Hey! Slow down! Stop! Oh, is this gonna hurt.
I'll be back.
Yikes! As soon as I figure out how to stop.
[sputtering.]
Never fear! Gizmoduck is here.
I love these last-minute heroic saves.
They're so whoop invigorating! Yahhhh! [screaming.]
[screaming.]
[both.]
Whoaaaa! Not to worry, Darkwing.
Remember, you're with a real superpowered superhero.
- [sputtering.]
- Gee, I guess my batteries are low.
Nice work.
This is it! I can't hang on much longer.
Oh, what an untimely demise.
Oh.
[chuckling.]
There's nothing to worry about when you're with Gizmoduck, superpowered superhero.
[kissing.]
Goodbye, my little horseshoes.
[bubbling.]
And hello, my big horseshoe.
[laughing.]
Now, with the help of this lovely, lively wire, I'll soon have the world's biggest electromagnet! This is it, Megavolt's hideout.
Why would Megavolt come back here, where we'd be sure to find him? Simple.
Cheap rent.
[rumbling.]
Ah-ha! Only one fiend, and one fiend alone, could create a giant electromagnet like that.
Who? Close your eyes, I'll give you three guesses.
Oh, goody-goody.
Let's see, uh Gee, this is a hard one.
Uh Is he bigger than a bread basket? Once I plug in my lucky horseshoe, all the metal in the entire city will be drawn to me.
And once I have the city's metal, I'll melt it all down.
And I'll make an even bigger electromagnet.
Yes! Yes! The bigger the magnet, the bigger the haul.
And the bigger the haul, the bigger the magnet! [Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
Oh, no.
Not him again.
I am Darkwing, superpowered superhero, Duck! Oh, too bad.
I thought you were a traveling hardware store.
Let's see now.
Which one of these buttons controls my arsenal of bad-guy booby traps? There! That should do it.
Wait, wait, wait! Stop! - Whoa! - [crashing.]
Those do-it-yourself haircuts never worked out for me either.
Your plans just short-circuited, Megavolt.
You can go peacefully, or in pieces.
The choice is yours.
Oh, I just hate to make decisions.
So I won't! [electrical buzzing.]
Uh-oh! [screaming.]
It's working! My plan is working! Whoaaaa! I'm afraid we're in big trouble, Darkwing.
Without this suit, I'm nothing.
You may be nothing, but I'm not.
OK, time to get back to basics.
Try and catch me, battery-breath.
[panting.]
Let this be a lesson: Never waste electricity.
Feeling the need to succumb, scum? [weak electrical buzzing.]
Electricity, I need electricity.
Coming right up! Hey! What are you doing?! No! Stop! I'll be magnetized! How shocking.
[screaming.]
Talk about your magnetic personality.
[Gosalyn.]
No! Don't! It's OK, little Gizmo-buddy, he's helping me pound out these dents.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You see, guys, being a superpowered superhero does have its disadvantages.
I mean when's the last time you saw Darkwing Duck get a dent? [crashing.]
Don't answer that.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck