Ducktales (1987) s01e34 Episode Script
Horse Scents
Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck blur Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales D-D-D-Danger! Watch behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales Ooh-ooh Not ponytails or cottontails, no DuckTales Ooh-ooh Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Louisville, Kenducky! They must like you around here, Louie.
And welcome to the annual Kenducky Derby parade! - There he is! - He looks like a winner.
So does the horse.
Didn't know I could play the bugle, did you? I'm still not sure.
You're going to run that race faster than I run to the bank, eh, Cash Register? Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! If things look dark, McDuck, they should, because my horse Make A Buck is going to take all the bucks, making me the richest duck in the world.
Oh, go glom so gold, Glomgold.
Ahem.
Oh, go jump in the lake, McDuck.
Whoa! Heh-heh-heh.
That was fun, Shifty.
Let's do it again.
Taking your own advice, Flintheart? Hey, there's a horse over there.
Swell.
I haven't seen one all day.
- But this horse is different.
- Oh, brother! "Different" is right.
Step right up, folks, and beat the rush.
Get your picture taken with Milady, the belle of Kenducky.
For one little dollar, you'll have a souvenir of you and Milady, so you'll never forget her.
Well, old girl, we haven't had a customer all week.
I guess it's time to hit the hay.
Wait! I'd like to have a souvenir of Milady, so I'll never forget her.
I think that can be arranged, little lady.
We're both little ladies, right, Milady? Hold it.
Hey, old man Merriweather! You're a lousy picture-taker.
There's nothing on this film.
The ugly nag's face probably broke the camera.
No, no, please! Stop! My goodness! Who threw that? I did! And there's plenty more where that came from! - Run for it! - Good idea! You know, that kid's got potential.
I've got it! I've got it! It's all right, Milady.
They're gone now.
Oh, this is the end.
Without our camera, Milady and I will be out of the job.
Now, ain't that a shame.
Who's that? It's Bull Weevil, the man I buy Milady's oats from.
And you owe me for five months' worth.
How do you expect to make your back oat payments with no income? W-w-we just had a bad week.
That's all.
Next week will be better.
Ha! Every week is a bad week for you.
I want my dough now, or I'll take the nag as payment, to work in my fields.
Can't you take something else as payment? What else do you got? - Nothing.
- Oh, no! Poor Milady! It might not be so bad, old girl.
I'll come visit, and maybe you'll meet some other nice horses at Bull's place.
The nag ain't gonna meet nobody there! She's just gonna work her tail off till she drops.
Give it up, you hay-burner.
You're mine now.
Hey! Leave that alone, you! What? Come back here, you swayback old mare! Hey! Hold your horses! Webby, no! Ohh Wow! Look at her go! I can't believe it.
Why, it never occurred to me that horse could run.
Yeow! - Did you see Milady go? - Yes.
But where did she go? Goin' pretty fast there, weren't you, speedy? Milady's a real racehorse, Mr.
Merriweather.
Of course, I knew it all the time.
She's like my old truck - she runs better than she looks.
You know, Milady runs so fast, she can win the Kenducky Derby, hooves down.
Yeah, she could! Well, I don't know.
Milady's been out to pasture a long time.
But if she did win, you can buy her back from Bull Weevil with the prize money.
- And buy her a bigger pasture.
- Yeah! Why, that's a jim-dandy idea, kids.
Maybe I can keep Milady after all if the Racing Committee will let her enter.
No problem! We know the chairman of the racing committee personally.
No! Absolutely not! I'd get laughed off the racing board for allowing a horse like this in the Derby.
Here, here.
Cut that out.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
You friendly little filly.
Want us to tell you her sad, sad story again, Uncle Scrooge? No.
No, no, that won't be necessary.
Oh, bust me bagpipes! All right, you can enter Milady in the race.
Yay! The Kenducky Derby will never be the same! That's for sure.
Come on, Milady! Show me those pearly whites.
Mnh-mnh.
Hey, Milady! Smile for the camera! Pay close attention, Uncle Scrooge.
Milady will run so fast, you won't even see her.
I'm looking forward to it, Webby.
On your mark, get set go! Come on, Milady.
Run like the wind! Tear up the field, Milady! - Let's see those hooves fly! - Come on, Milady! Come on, Milady! Run! Run like you did before! You remember.
Ohh Well, what do you know? A new record for the longest time ever.
- Hey, there's that horsy-face mare.
- We have prettier things to think about, like all the money I'll get for this horse-napping.
Can I have some of the money, Shifty? Only if you don't say nothin' stupid between now and then.
Gee, that'll be easy as falling off a frog.
This is it.
Scrooge McDuck's stall.
Golly.
You'd think he'd be staying in a big hotel.
His horse's stall, you feed-bag brain.
Yeah.
Oh.
Hello, boss? The cash register is closed for business, if you know what I mean.
Good, good.
Take him to the old farm until the race is over.
Your victory is in the saddlebag, big fella.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! I knew I could pull this off without a hitch.
Someone wanted your horse out of the race real bad, Uncle Scrooge.
My, my.
What's happened here? Somebody horse-napped Cash Register.
Aw, that's a terrible shame.
So I guess you'll just have to withdraw from the race.
If I don't find my horse before the race, I'll come looking for you, Flintheart.
Fine.
I'll be more than happy to let you cry on my shoulder.
Hey, Uncle Scrooge, look! Wha?! I'm glad to see you, too, boy.
And so is Mr.
Glomgold here.
Well, of all the Oh! Who cares? I'll win this race anyway.
What do you suppose he's so upset about? Good girl! Go, go, go! How did we do this time? Two minutes and 9,999 seconds.
Quackaroonie! Bull Weevil's coming! We've gotta hide Milady! All right, Merriweather, I want my workhorse now! She's your horse, Mr.
Weevil.
You find her.
Yeah.
I don't wanna feed the old nag anymore anyway.
OK, you two.
Where's that horse? What horse? To tell the truth, I've seen a lot of horses lately.
By the way, that reminds of a great horse joke I once heard.
A horse goes into a bar, see, and Quit horsing around! Where's that nag? Shh! Quiet! Calm down, Milady.
There's something going on in here.
Aha! You won't get away with this.
I'll get that horse as soon as I get out of the hospital.
- Hey, watch it! - Get that thing out of there! Do we charge extra for horses? Whoa, Milady! Whoa! Oh, you're going to run just as fast in the derby tomorrow as you did just now.
Right, Milady? Well, this is the day of the big race.
Boy, am I excited.
Ohh.
How do you like your new look, Milady? You'll put those other horses to shame when you cross that finish line.
If she crosses that finish line.
Now, that's enough of that kind of talk, boys.
We have to keep our attitudes up, up, up.
Put our shoulders to our noses and our wheels to the grindstone.
Now, get out there and win this one for the Beaker! Ooh, was it something I said? I think it's the bugle.
I never thought I'd say this, but, hooray, Mrs.
Beakley, hooray! Milady's great-grand-sire was a cavalry horse.
Army horses respond to bugle calls.
It must be in her blood.
All you have to do is play during the race, and it's in the bag.
Oh, Mother told me those bugle lessons would come in handy someday.
Hmph! Hmph! Hmph! I brought you a good-luck present.
Not that you need any luck.
You really are a beautiful lady, Milady.
It's post time, ladies and gentlemen.
All horses report to the track! Well, this is it, Milady.
Number one - Cash Register.
Hooray, Cash Register! Boo! Boo! Number two, Make A Buck.
Number two.
An appropriate number for your horse, Flintheart.
Number two, get out there and make me number one! Number four You're not gonna believe this, folks.
Milady, the belle of Kenducky! Hooray! - Haul hooves, Milady! - Get a car! Don't pay any attention to them.
They're just jealous.
Aah! Webbigail! They didn't tell me she was going to be the jockey.
Uh-oh.
Here comes Bull Weevil.
Can't let him see us.
Quick, Junior Woodchucks plan 279.
And they're off! In the lead are Cash Register and Make A Buck, followed by Tagalong, Thunderhooves, Hayride Hoopla.
Rubber Band, Outcast on the outside, and trailing the pack, Milady! Knock it off, lady! We can't hear ourselves scream! This is a free country.
I can blow a bugle wherever I please.
Oh, yeah? Please, Milady! Try for me! And Make A Buck takes the lead by a nose.
Run, you great, big money bag, you! Webby, get off the track! Oh, no! We gotta do something! Yoo-hoo! Mr.
Weevil, here we are! Over here! This way.
Come on.
As they come into the turn, it's Cash Register and Make A Buck neck and neck.
Rubber Band has snapped into third, followed by Tagalong, Thunderhooves, Hayride Hoopla, Outcast and Milady.
Your horse is in here, Mr.
Weevil.
And now it's Hey, what's going on here? Take me on a wild-goose chase, will you? I'll get you for this! You won't get away from me this time! Now, it's still Cash Register and Make A Buck, Rubber Band third, followed by Tagalong.
And here comes Milady! Go, Milady! Haul hooves! Milady moves into fourth No, third! Milady! Why, that's my horse! I'm going to be rich! - His horse? - Aw! His money! Even if she wins, Mr.
Merriweather will still lose Milady.
Go, go, go, go! - Come on, Make A Buck! - Come on! It's Cash Register, Make A Buck and Milady.
Now Milady, Cash Register and Make A Buck, coming down the wire.
It's gonna be a photo-finish! Photo? And the winner is It's a tie between Cash Register and Make A Buck.
They'll divide the prize money.
No! That means I'm still only the second richest duck in the world! You should be getting used to it by now.
Of all the harebrained, lump-headed, hammy stunts! If I never see this overgrown feed bag again, it'll be too soon.
It's great to have you back, old girl.
But we didn't win, so I still can't afford to take care of her.
Oh, yes, you can.
I know star quality and money-making power when I see it.
Step right up, folks, and beat the rush.
Have your picture taken with the world-famous celebrity horse, Milady, star of the Kenducky Derby.
Hold it now.
And welcome to the annual Kenducky Derby parade! - There he is! - He looks like a winner.
So does the horse.
Didn't know I could play the bugle, did you? I'm still not sure.
You're going to run that race faster than I run to the bank, eh, Cash Register? Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! If things look dark, McDuck, they should, because my horse Make A Buck is going to take all the bucks, making me the richest duck in the world.
Oh, go glom so gold, Glomgold.
Ahem.
Oh, go jump in the lake, McDuck.
Whoa! Heh-heh-heh.
That was fun, Shifty.
Let's do it again.
Taking your own advice, Flintheart? Hey, there's a horse over there.
Swell.
I haven't seen one all day.
- But this horse is different.
- Oh, brother! "Different" is right.
Step right up, folks, and beat the rush.
Get your picture taken with Milady, the belle of Kenducky.
For one little dollar, you'll have a souvenir of you and Milady, so you'll never forget her.
Well, old girl, we haven't had a customer all week.
I guess it's time to hit the hay.
Wait! I'd like to have a souvenir of Milady, so I'll never forget her.
I think that can be arranged, little lady.
We're both little ladies, right, Milady? Hold it.
Hey, old man Merriweather! You're a lousy picture-taker.
There's nothing on this film.
The ugly nag's face probably broke the camera.
No, no, please! Stop! My goodness! Who threw that? I did! And there's plenty more where that came from! - Run for it! - Good idea! You know, that kid's got potential.
I've got it! I've got it! It's all right, Milady.
They're gone now.
Oh, this is the end.
Without our camera, Milady and I will be out of the job.
Now, ain't that a shame.
Who's that? It's Bull Weevil, the man I buy Milady's oats from.
And you owe me for five months' worth.
How do you expect to make your back oat payments with no income? W-w-we just had a bad week.
That's all.
Next week will be better.
Ha! Every week is a bad week for you.
I want my dough now, or I'll take the nag as payment, to work in my fields.
Can't you take something else as payment? What else do you got? - Nothing.
- Oh, no! Poor Milady! It might not be so bad, old girl.
I'll come visit, and maybe you'll meet some other nice horses at Bull's place.
The nag ain't gonna meet nobody there! She's just gonna work her tail off till she drops.
Give it up, you hay-burner.
You're mine now.
Hey! Leave that alone, you! What? Come back here, you swayback old mare! Hey! Hold your horses! Webby, no! Ohh Wow! Look at her go! I can't believe it.
Why, it never occurred to me that horse could run.
Yeow! - Did you see Milady go? - Yes.
But where did she go? Goin' pretty fast there, weren't you, speedy? Milady's a real racehorse, Mr.
Merriweather.
Of course, I knew it all the time.
She's like my old truck - she runs better than she looks.
You know, Milady runs so fast, she can win the Kenducky Derby, hooves down.
Yeah, she could! Well, I don't know.
Milady's been out to pasture a long time.
But if she did win, you can buy her back from Bull Weevil with the prize money.
- And buy her a bigger pasture.
- Yeah! Why, that's a jim-dandy idea, kids.
Maybe I can keep Milady after all if the Racing Committee will let her enter.
No problem! We know the chairman of the racing committee personally.
No! Absolutely not! I'd get laughed off the racing board for allowing a horse like this in the Derby.
Here, here.
Cut that out.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
You friendly little filly.
Want us to tell you her sad, sad story again, Uncle Scrooge? No.
No, no, that won't be necessary.
Oh, bust me bagpipes! All right, you can enter Milady in the race.
Yay! The Kenducky Derby will never be the same! That's for sure.
Come on, Milady! Show me those pearly whites.
Mnh-mnh.
Hey, Milady! Smile for the camera! Pay close attention, Uncle Scrooge.
Milady will run so fast, you won't even see her.
I'm looking forward to it, Webby.
On your mark, get set go! Come on, Milady.
Run like the wind! Tear up the field, Milady! - Let's see those hooves fly! - Come on, Milady! Come on, Milady! Run! Run like you did before! You remember.
Ohh Well, what do you know? A new record for the longest time ever.
- Hey, there's that horsy-face mare.
- We have prettier things to think about, like all the money I'll get for this horse-napping.
Can I have some of the money, Shifty? Only if you don't say nothin' stupid between now and then.
Gee, that'll be easy as falling off a frog.
This is it.
Scrooge McDuck's stall.
Golly.
You'd think he'd be staying in a big hotel.
His horse's stall, you feed-bag brain.
Yeah.
Oh.
Hello, boss? The cash register is closed for business, if you know what I mean.
Good, good.
Take him to the old farm until the race is over.
Your victory is in the saddlebag, big fella.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! I knew I could pull this off without a hitch.
Someone wanted your horse out of the race real bad, Uncle Scrooge.
My, my.
What's happened here? Somebody horse-napped Cash Register.
Aw, that's a terrible shame.
So I guess you'll just have to withdraw from the race.
If I don't find my horse before the race, I'll come looking for you, Flintheart.
Fine.
I'll be more than happy to let you cry on my shoulder.
Hey, Uncle Scrooge, look! Wha?! I'm glad to see you, too, boy.
And so is Mr.
Glomgold here.
Well, of all the Oh! Who cares? I'll win this race anyway.
What do you suppose he's so upset about? Good girl! Go, go, go! How did we do this time? Two minutes and 9,999 seconds.
Quackaroonie! Bull Weevil's coming! We've gotta hide Milady! All right, Merriweather, I want my workhorse now! She's your horse, Mr.
Weevil.
You find her.
Yeah.
I don't wanna feed the old nag anymore anyway.
OK, you two.
Where's that horse? What horse? To tell the truth, I've seen a lot of horses lately.
By the way, that reminds of a great horse joke I once heard.
A horse goes into a bar, see, and Quit horsing around! Where's that nag? Shh! Quiet! Calm down, Milady.
There's something going on in here.
Aha! You won't get away with this.
I'll get that horse as soon as I get out of the hospital.
- Hey, watch it! - Get that thing out of there! Do we charge extra for horses? Whoa, Milady! Whoa! Oh, you're going to run just as fast in the derby tomorrow as you did just now.
Right, Milady? Well, this is the day of the big race.
Boy, am I excited.
Ohh.
How do you like your new look, Milady? You'll put those other horses to shame when you cross that finish line.
If she crosses that finish line.
Now, that's enough of that kind of talk, boys.
We have to keep our attitudes up, up, up.
Put our shoulders to our noses and our wheels to the grindstone.
Now, get out there and win this one for the Beaker! Ooh, was it something I said? I think it's the bugle.
I never thought I'd say this, but, hooray, Mrs.
Beakley, hooray! Milady's great-grand-sire was a cavalry horse.
Army horses respond to bugle calls.
It must be in her blood.
All you have to do is play during the race, and it's in the bag.
Oh, Mother told me those bugle lessons would come in handy someday.
Hmph! Hmph! Hmph! I brought you a good-luck present.
Not that you need any luck.
You really are a beautiful lady, Milady.
It's post time, ladies and gentlemen.
All horses report to the track! Well, this is it, Milady.
Number one - Cash Register.
Hooray, Cash Register! Boo! Boo! Number two, Make A Buck.
Number two.
An appropriate number for your horse, Flintheart.
Number two, get out there and make me number one! Number four You're not gonna believe this, folks.
Milady, the belle of Kenducky! Hooray! - Haul hooves, Milady! - Get a car! Don't pay any attention to them.
They're just jealous.
Aah! Webbigail! They didn't tell me she was going to be the jockey.
Uh-oh.
Here comes Bull Weevil.
Can't let him see us.
Quick, Junior Woodchucks plan 279.
And they're off! In the lead are Cash Register and Make A Buck, followed by Tagalong, Thunderhooves, Hayride Hoopla.
Rubber Band, Outcast on the outside, and trailing the pack, Milady! Knock it off, lady! We can't hear ourselves scream! This is a free country.
I can blow a bugle wherever I please.
Oh, yeah? Please, Milady! Try for me! And Make A Buck takes the lead by a nose.
Run, you great, big money bag, you! Webby, get off the track! Oh, no! We gotta do something! Yoo-hoo! Mr.
Weevil, here we are! Over here! This way.
Come on.
As they come into the turn, it's Cash Register and Make A Buck neck and neck.
Rubber Band has snapped into third, followed by Tagalong, Thunderhooves, Hayride Hoopla, Outcast and Milady.
Your horse is in here, Mr.
Weevil.
And now it's Hey, what's going on here? Take me on a wild-goose chase, will you? I'll get you for this! You won't get away from me this time! Now, it's still Cash Register and Make A Buck, Rubber Band third, followed by Tagalong.
And here comes Milady! Go, Milady! Haul hooves! Milady moves into fourth No, third! Milady! Why, that's my horse! I'm going to be rich! - His horse? - Aw! His money! Even if she wins, Mr.
Merriweather will still lose Milady.
Go, go, go, go! - Come on, Make A Buck! - Come on! It's Cash Register, Make A Buck and Milady.
Now Milady, Cash Register and Make A Buck, coming down the wire.
It's gonna be a photo-finish! Photo? And the winner is It's a tie between Cash Register and Make A Buck.
They'll divide the prize money.
No! That means I'm still only the second richest duck in the world! You should be getting used to it by now.
Of all the harebrained, lump-headed, hammy stunts! If I never see this overgrown feed bag again, it'll be too soon.
It's great to have you back, old girl.
But we didn't win, so I still can't afford to take care of her.
Oh, yes, you can.
I know star quality and money-making power when I see it.
Step right up, folks, and beat the rush.
Have your picture taken with the world-famous celebrity horse, Milady, star of the Kenducky Derby.
Hold it now.