Young Hercules (1998) s01e34 Episode Script

Excuse me, are you Are you looking for me? If you are Buterus, the man they call the Exterminator of Thebes? That's right.
Now, what is it you want? Let's just say there is a young man about to be crowned king.
Only he meets with a fatal accident.
Hiyah! Exactly.
Corinth is thrown into chaos.
The people suffer.
And to restore order, the neighboring king would be forced to step in and put someone in charge.
Let me guess.
That someone would be you.
Of course.
Well, the neighbor king is my uncle.
I have it all worked out.
If you do your job, I'll be the next king of Corinth.
And the young man who is to be my target? Jason of Corinth.
Hey, look what I've got for Prank Days.
Check it out, huh? Complete embarrassment to any unsuspecting cadet that happens to sit on it.
Like, say, uh, ooh, Jason? Iolaus, you are gonna have to do better than this, all right? Pulling pranks on graduating cadets requires style, planning.
It takes, you know, execution.
Oh, hi, Jason.
Jason? Ha-ha-ha, got ya! Like that.
Yes.
Very funny, I'm laughing.
Well, it's gonna take more than a pig's bladder if you want to outwit the legendary Hercules on Prank Days.
Yeah, well, if I had Hephaestus's help turning a bed into a catapult, I'd be a legend too.
I hear he didn't need any help when he stuffed Bacudus's pillow with some, uh, porcupine needles.
Amen, sister.
Aye, that's true.
I saw him in the morning.
Hm, was nasty.
You guys are missing the point here, okay? This is not about becoming a legend, it's about this being Jason's graduating year.
This is our last chance to get him.
We've got to pull a great prank on Jason, all right? Yeah, well, I'm up to it.
I'm gonna be a legend.
I'm gonna be the cadet who out-pranked you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
If anyone is gonna out-prank Hercules, it's gonna be me.
Oh, gee, you think? Hey, I know! Yeah, well, you wanna take it Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
I can't breathe, okay? Whoa? Pulling pranks.
You all should be suspended.
Are you okay? I hate Prank Days.
Prank Days.
Hercules.
Hercules.
The cook's taken ill.
Buterus, his cousin from Thebes, has been kind enough to fill in for him.
Would you show him to the kitchen? Sure, can he cook? It never mattered before.
Next year, I get to take my vacation during Prank Days.
Not Cheiron.
So, Buterus, you the new cook? Hey, uh, if you want to come with me, I'll show you around.
Oh, thank you.
So, what happened to your cousin? Oh, nothing much.
A little food poisoning.
In an age of light and darkness, Zeus, king of the gods, ruled the universe.
He had a son.
Young Hercules.
Half-god, half-man, young Hercules longs to find his place in the world, the father he's never known, and what it means to be a hero.
Before the man became legend, before the legend became myth, came the greatest adventure of all.
Quiet down, everybody.
Who so blue, Flavus? I have an important announcement to make.
Very funny.
I know all about Prank Days.
Lately, things have been getting out of hand.
I'm concerned that a cadet could be seriously hurt and the academy could be held responsible.
Therefore, as headmaster, in Cheiron's absence I'm canceling Prank Days.
- Yes! - Effective immediately.
Anyone pulling a prank, stunt, or practical joke on a senior will be punished.
This'll get Jason.
A little acid for a little prince.
Oh, no, no, no, mud man, out, out! Ooh, yes.
All right.
Oh, hot food.
Mm, this can't be for us.
It looks like palace food.
It does.
Mm-mm-mm.
Now, Hercules, Lilith, lolaus.
Who put the little hole in my cup.
Huh? Ye old dribble glass.
Hey, uh, can you pass me the, uh Oh, I got one right here.
Acid.
So the acid didn't work.
That dribble cup messed up my plans.
I'll use a more pointed approach.
They don't call me the Exterminator of Thebes for nothin'.
Ah-ha.
Prince Jason won't get away this time.
Oh! Ah! Ow! Amateurs.
Do you want my help? Do you want me to help you? All right.
What the? A crossbow? Somebody really is trying to get Jason.
Fiducius.
Ooh.
Oh no.
I found this in Jason's room.
This crossbow was pointed right at his bed.
And check this out.
This is where Jason sits.
Acid.
So, naturally I think that someone's trying to get him.
This is very disturbing.
Yes, yes, it is.
That's exactly why I came to you.
It's a perfect example of what I was talking about.
Students going overboard with their pranks.
Oh, oh no, this is for real.
I want you to find those responsible.
But No.
Hey, I gotta talk to you guys.
You guys gotta help me, this is serious.
Somebody's trying to get Jason.
Ah, yes, we all are.
No, no, no, no, not like that.
Somebody's using real arrows.
I was in his room last night.
Oh, well, that would explain how my water bucket gag got sabotaged.
It was an assassin.
Yes, yes, that's right.
I found a crossbow.
Oh, an invisible crossbow.
No, no, no, no, no.
Fiducius took it.
Oh, oh, Fiducius took it.
No.
You guys gonna help me find this assassin or what? Yeah, so, while me and Lilith go on a wild goose chase for some phony "assassin.
" Oh, you get to rig some great prank to get Jason.
All right, you know what, fine.
I'll find the guy myself.
Come on, let me out, I've had enough.
That's enough, come on.
That must be the assassin.
He's going after Jason.
Yee-haw.
Yee-haw.
Ah-ha! What is this ruckus? This is the assassin that's been trying to get you.
Fiducius? Fiducius.
So, you're the one who defied my orders? I swear that I saw the assassin.
No, enough.
You're only making things worse.
I'm gonna teach you a lesson once and for all, Hercules.
He's a good cook, but he sure is accident prone.
And he dresses like an oddball.
May I have everybody's attention please? Cadets! Evidently, some of you did not believe me when I said anyone caught pulling a prank would be punished.
And I I can ex I caught Hercules red-handed attempting to pull a practical joke, one, I may add, which might have resulted in injury.
Therefore, Hercules is confined to the dormitory except to attend classes and meals.
And you may continue your meal.
I would have expected more from you, Hercules.
That's funny, that's very funny.
Tough break getting confined to the dorm, Herc.
Yeah, I guess that means you're out of the running.
Ah, Fiducius.
Um, if you're looking for Hercules, um, he's right there.
You don't think I know the old dummy in the bed trick? You pretend you're talking to Hercules but he's really out setting up another prank.
Excuse me.
I I I'm sorry, I I mean, I wouldn't put it past Goodnight.
So, uh, time to get Jason.
Right, listen up.
You guys gotta help me, all right? We'll help.
We'll get out of your way.
What is it gonna take for you two to believe that there is an assassin in here? Some evidence would be nice.
Until then, it's every prankster for him or herself.
Okay.
Jason.
Jason's coming.
Jason.
Yes? Just be careful, okay? Hercules, that took me an hour to rig.
Agh! Oh, yes! Oh! Hey, get that, it worked.
Yeah.
Except I guess it doesn't count, you know, with Lilith not being one of the people that I wanted ooh! Woo-hoo! You guys should take this show on the road.
Guys! I'm still waiting to meet this famous assassin.
You almost did.
You believe me now, huh? I guess someone is trying to get me.
This is what I'm trying to say, okay? Yeah, well, we owe you an apology, Hercules.
We thought you were making it up.
When did you first notice someone was after me.
When Cheiron left; Don't you remember? The cook gets sick and then all of a sudden there's a new cook.
Ah, the cook.
How could anyone who does what he does with lamb be bad? No, but wait, if the cook is so good What's he doing in the academy? Should I get the constable? He's not gonna believe this.
Well, tell Fiducius, he'll fire 'em.
So he leaves the academy grounds.
He was hired to wipe out Jason.
One thing's for sure, this guy is not gonna stop till his job is finished.
That's reassuring.
Oh, sorry.
Well, we're just gonna have to catch him red-handed.
How? I got a plan.
Agh! It's a dummy, just like you, dummy.
And it's filled with a hornet's nest.
Going somewhere? You know, you shouldn't play with swords.
Come on, come on.
What do you say we just wrap this up right now? Ah.
You aren't ready to give yourself up yet, hm? Ow! Goose fat.
Oh, nice job, Lilith.
Well.
You wanna get out of here, you'll have to get past us.
Yeah, and that's not gonna happen.
Nice job, lolaus.
Well, you do what you have to.
Ha.
Not so fast.
Unbelievable.
You rigged a fake window.
Nice job, Hercules.
Well, thank you.
Now all the constable has to do is pick him up.
Oh, and the guy who hired him.
Constable.
Arrest this man.
Exterminator of Thebes defeated by a bunch of cadets? Hey! Come on, you've had your fun.
Ow! That's a good prank.
Well? Oh, all right.
Prank Days stays.
Yes! Woo-hoo! With appropriate guidelines.
Oh, and the old cook is back.
That's great.
What a day.
I'm beat.
Too bad.
Prank Days are over mid-day and nobody got Jason.
I can't say I feel sorry for you chumps.
Yeah.
All I can say is giddy.
Giddy.
Giddy.
Giddy? Oh, you know, giddy as in, uh, giddy up.
Whoa! I can't believe it! Hey, Jason, enjoy the ride! You're gonna pay, Hercules! One, two, three.
Agh, help me! All right, okay, I concede, I never would have thought of that.
I agree, that has got to be the greatest prank in the history of the academy.
I mean, who would have thought, getting a horse to drag off Jason's bed.
And to top it all off, I used Buterus's horse.
Oh, that's gonna take him all the way to Thebes.
How far is Thebes?