Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e35 Episode Script
Life, the Negaverse, and Everything
# Daring duck of mystery Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes But his number's up # Darkwing Duck When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing, Darkwing Duck # Cloud of smoke and he appears # Master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind that shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure But bad guys are out of luck # 'Cause here comes - # Darkwing Duck - # Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out, you bad boys # Darkwing Duck # Another day, another major crime.
Well, see ya.
Oh, come on, Negaduck, you never hang out with us after a caper.
Gee, Quackerjack, why do you think that is? Could it be because I hate you guys? 'Cause you're just a bunch of losers? 'Cause I've got other places to go?! No, that couldn't possibly be it.
The Liquidator guesses it must be something else.
It's because you've got a secret hideout.
There you go, Megavolt, that's using the old dry cells.
We don't have a secret hideout.
Why can't we go to your secret hideout? Bushroot, if I let you go to my secret hideout it wouldn't be a secret hideout anymore! The whole reason I have a secret hideout is to get away from the geek squad! See ya next crime.
[groaning.]
Him and his secret hideout.
Like we couldn't just follow him and find out where it is.
[snoring.]
[Gosalyn.]
Attention, Drake Mallard! It is time for Honker's birthday party! I'm not going! I hate the Muddlefoots and I hate their parties! No time for Honker's party.
If you don't go, I won't clean my room.
You never clean your room.
Why don't you just go with Launchpad? Launchpad is already picking up the birthday cake.
Mm-mmm.
[chuckling.]
Little Honk-man's gonna love this peanut butter, honey and sauerkraut cake.
I picked it out myself.
Negaduck's secret hideout is the Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Bakery? But wait, there must be more.
Sh! Sh! Sh! Sh! We don't want Negaduck to see us.
- Oh, sorry.
- Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Oh, my gosh! The Fearsome Five Four! I gotta get DW.
You know the Dacians were the last civilization conquered by the Romans? Gee, Honk, you sure know how to cut loose on the ole B-day.
[Herb.]
All ashore! Welcome to Pelican's Island.
It's kind of a theme dealie.
I hate the Muddlefoots.
Oh, oh, oh, I wonder what is cooking under this primitive barbeque.
Look! Coconut burgers! Wow, Herb.
This is really great.
I've gotta get out of here.
[panting.]
Drake, I just the bakery! Oh, what a lovely cake.
[panting.]
Fear some! Fearsome! Why, a cake has washed ashore! Come on, little buddies, let's eat.
Launchpad, what are you babbling about? The Fearsome Five is at the bakery! Just what I need to get me out of here.
Quick, LP, create a diversion.
How about dying from exhaustion? It's too subtle.
Wait, I'll take care of it.
Out of my way, toadstools, let me have some.
[crashing.]
Oh, drat, it looks like I shall have to fetch another cake.
Let's get dangerous.
[sniffing.]
Hey, is that coconut burgers I smell? [Megavolt.]
There he is! What are you doing here? [overlapping.]
Oh, um [Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries! I am Darkwing Duck! You led Darkwing Duck right to my secret hideout, you knobs! We're not knobs! And we'll prove it! Come on, guys, let's fry some duck.
Uh-oh.
[all.]
We got him! No! What do you think of that? You knobs! You ruined everything! You've thrown Darkwing Duck into the Negaverse! Yahhhhh! The what? It's my secret hideout, you idiots! Don't delay.
Act now.
[buzzing.]
[screaming.]
Oh, the pain.
What? Where is everybody? What's happened to my beautiful St.
Canard? How long was I knocked out? My beautiful St.
Canard.
Smell those noxious fumes.
Now, where did that blasted Darkwing Duck go? What the? Gosalyn? Great.
I leave for five minutes and Gosalyn's rewired the whole house.
Yep, she's blacked out the whole city again.
[Gosalyn.]
Yeah, you're home! I dirtied the kitchen just like you wanted.
Like I wanted? - What are you up to? - [crashing.]
Yeah, I found another bag of toys.
And some one planted a stinkin' rose bush.
Launchpad? Is there something wrong? You don't look like our usual Mr.
Grumpypuss.
[announcer.]
News flash! Darkwing Duck is loose in St, Canard, Mighty Negaduck demands that Darkwing Duck be arrested on sight, No, I said "shot"! Darkwing Duck should be shot on sight! Or skinned, Yeah! Skin him alive! What's Negaduck doing on TV? Burn him to fiery ash! And then arrest him, And it's easy to recognize Darkwing Duck, He looks just like me, You're Darkwing Duck! Launchpad, what are you doing? Are you nuts? I'd say that's a yes.
Wow! There really is a Darkwing Duck.
Where'd they go? Darkwing Duck has come to save us all! Nothing can stop Darkwing Duck! Tank? May I be of assistance? Tank? OK, Gosalyn's sweet, Launchpad's insane and Tank's polite? What's going on around here? By your confusion, I deduce you're Darkwing Duck.
I'll make this simple.
This is your world.
This is our world.
You, Darkwing Duck, have traveled through the doorway that separates your world from ours and entered the Negaverse.
[echoing.]
Here, everything is the opposite of your universe.
And Negaduck rules supreme.
Oh, I get it.
I fell into a big birthday cake, and now I'm in another universe.
That's right! I don't think so.
[Herb.]
Tankard H.
Muddlefoot, where are you? - [gasping.]
- It's Mother and Father! Hide! Ooh, Tank, dear, you're missing Honker's birthday party.
Lord Negaduck, what an honor.
We didn't expect you to show up.
Ooh, Negaduck, I love your new outfit.
Purple is so gloomy.
Gos, you better go get help.
Welcome to the annual celebration of our little Honker's birth.
- [bird squawking.]
- [screaming.]
It's him! It's Darkwing Duck! He's the one Lord Negaduck said to shoot on sight! To rip to shreds! To burn into fiery ash! No! Wait! Well, isn't this a treat.
Happy birthday, son.
All right! Party time! [Herb.]
And what have we got on the grill tonight, son? Darkwing burgers! Darkwing burgers! I prefer the normal, tacky Muddlefoots.
[Quackerjack.]
I think he's waking up.
Are you Darkwing Duck? Yes, I am the terror that flaps in the night.
Freeze, Darkwing Duck! We've got Darkwing Duck! We've got Darkwing Duck! What's going on? Where am I? You guys are gonna be sorry you messed with the mighty mallard.
OK, OK, we're sorry we messed with the mighty mallard.
Just put the gun down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Most would rather surrender than fight Darkwing Duck.
Get him! Hey! No fair! You're messing with the mighty mallard.
You sure this is the right guy.
When I get through with you you're gonna wish Negaduck was duck enough to do his own dirty deeds.
No, no, no, no! We're not working for Negaduck.
We're against Negaduck.
We didn't kidnap you.
We rescued you.
We're the Friendly Four! OK, now I get it.
This is all just a bad dream brought on by too many of Herb's coconut burgers.
All I have to do is wake myself up and I'll be home, sweet home.
OK, it's not a dream.
This is the Negaverse.
It doesn't mean that I have to stick around though.
No! Don't go! You're the only one who's ever beat Negaduck.
Look, thanks, but no, thanks.
I've gotta return to my own universe, my own city, my own life, my own Gosalyn.
She's probably worried about you.
You shouldn't keep her waiting.
Um Who's kid is this? Gosalyn's guardian is Negaduck.
In the Negaverse, there's never been a Darkwing Duck to guard the city.
[gulping.]
Or a Drake Mallard to be a father.
For you, Gosalyn, I'll stay.
All right, troops, we've gotta get you whipped into shape.
We've gotta be strong, we've gotta be smart and we've got to be inventive.
- [Quackerjack humming.]
- And what have we here? It's done! It's ready! It's the ultimate secret weapon! It's a toy clown? Oh, but this is a really nasty toy clown.
Watch this.
Good job.
Of course, let's not forget.
Our big advantage is that Negaduck has no idea you guys have teamed up with Darkwing Duck! Greetings, kids.
[all gasping.]
It's Negaduck! So much for our big advantage.
Take them to the tower.
[thunderclap.]
The old hometown ain't what it used to be, hey, Darkwing? Oh, a veritable Magic Kingdom of fun for the whole family.
You don't know the half of it.
The Negaverse is my own personal playground.
And with a little help from my Negahammer, you're going to be my own personal pancake! [evil laughter.]
I am sick of hearing your gums flap, Jack! Just kill me and get it over with! All in due time.
When that pendulum cuts through the rope, it's bye-bye Darkwing.
And don't expect any help from those losers.
They couldn't crack an egg, let alone crack this glass.
So long.
I'm off to create more unnecessary pain and suffering.
Losers.
Negaduck's beaten us again! We are losers.
Any second now.
At least I have my clown.
[Darkwing.]
That's it! Quackerjack! The clown! Use the clown! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
Go away! Bad clown! No! Just another [clearing throat.]
death-defying escape by Darkwing Duck! All right, team.
Let's get dangerous.
Let's get luminous.
[Liquidator.]
Step aside! Make way for the Liquidator! Now that we've got the water flowing, I can fix all the plants.
Yeah! Great.
Now, where is Negaduck? Darkwing Duck has ruined my St.
Canard, so I'll ruin his! Everyone, into the bakery! I was getting sick of this place anyway.
[Friendly Four.]
We are the terrors that flap in the night! We are the soap that's cleaning up this town! We are Darkwing's Ducks! Keen gear! Friendly Four, Darkwing's Ducks, different name, same old losers.
Herb, grill 'em! [exclaiming.]
All right, team, let's prove we're not losers anymore! It's playtime! All right, team! I think you surprised him with that Now, Honker, dear, you run along and do some life-altering damage to those nice men who hurt Mommy.
Come on, let's rock and roll! [screaming.]
Sorry, Muddlefoot, but the Friendly Four are running this town from now on.
Upsy-daisy.
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
Bye-bye, ducky.
[crashing.]
You guys did it! But it would appear that Negaduck has escaped into the portal.
You've got to go get him, Darkwing.
Besides, your Gosalyn needs you.
What about you? Don't worry about me.
I've got four Darkwings to take care of me now.
- Good by, Gos.
- Hurry.
Give me a break.
Ha! Double ha! Whoops.
Now I gotcha.
Now, I've got the upper hand, Negaduck.
Look out! It's the universal plug! If you pull it we'll be sucked into oblivion.
The universal what? Whoaaaa! Well, time to go.
[Negaduck.]
What? Hey, wait a second! Wait! I'll get you for this, Darkwing! Home, sweet home! [sizzling.]
I'm back! And I got the birthday cake too.
Boy, is it good to see you again.
Cut the sap, Dad.
Hand over the cake.
Drakemeister! We saved a couple of juicy coconut burgers for you, spud! I love the Muddlefoots.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck
Well, see ya.
Oh, come on, Negaduck, you never hang out with us after a caper.
Gee, Quackerjack, why do you think that is? Could it be because I hate you guys? 'Cause you're just a bunch of losers? 'Cause I've got other places to go?! No, that couldn't possibly be it.
The Liquidator guesses it must be something else.
It's because you've got a secret hideout.
There you go, Megavolt, that's using the old dry cells.
We don't have a secret hideout.
Why can't we go to your secret hideout? Bushroot, if I let you go to my secret hideout it wouldn't be a secret hideout anymore! The whole reason I have a secret hideout is to get away from the geek squad! See ya next crime.
[groaning.]
Him and his secret hideout.
Like we couldn't just follow him and find out where it is.
[snoring.]
[Gosalyn.]
Attention, Drake Mallard! It is time for Honker's birthday party! I'm not going! I hate the Muddlefoots and I hate their parties! No time for Honker's party.
If you don't go, I won't clean my room.
You never clean your room.
Why don't you just go with Launchpad? Launchpad is already picking up the birthday cake.
Mm-mmm.
[chuckling.]
Little Honk-man's gonna love this peanut butter, honey and sauerkraut cake.
I picked it out myself.
Negaduck's secret hideout is the Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice Bakery? But wait, there must be more.
Sh! Sh! Sh! Sh! We don't want Negaduck to see us.
- Oh, sorry.
- Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Oh, my gosh! The Fearsome Five Four! I gotta get DW.
You know the Dacians were the last civilization conquered by the Romans? Gee, Honk, you sure know how to cut loose on the ole B-day.
[Herb.]
All ashore! Welcome to Pelican's Island.
It's kind of a theme dealie.
I hate the Muddlefoots.
Oh, oh, oh, I wonder what is cooking under this primitive barbeque.
Look! Coconut burgers! Wow, Herb.
This is really great.
I've gotta get out of here.
[panting.]
Drake, I just the bakery! Oh, what a lovely cake.
[panting.]
Fear some! Fearsome! Why, a cake has washed ashore! Come on, little buddies, let's eat.
Launchpad, what are you babbling about? The Fearsome Five is at the bakery! Just what I need to get me out of here.
Quick, LP, create a diversion.
How about dying from exhaustion? It's too subtle.
Wait, I'll take care of it.
Out of my way, toadstools, let me have some.
[crashing.]
Oh, drat, it looks like I shall have to fetch another cake.
Let's get dangerous.
[sniffing.]
Hey, is that coconut burgers I smell? [Megavolt.]
There he is! What are you doing here? [overlapping.]
Oh, um [Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries! I am Darkwing Duck! You led Darkwing Duck right to my secret hideout, you knobs! We're not knobs! And we'll prove it! Come on, guys, let's fry some duck.
Uh-oh.
[all.]
We got him! No! What do you think of that? You knobs! You ruined everything! You've thrown Darkwing Duck into the Negaverse! Yahhhhh! The what? It's my secret hideout, you idiots! Don't delay.
Act now.
[buzzing.]
[screaming.]
Oh, the pain.
What? Where is everybody? What's happened to my beautiful St.
Canard? How long was I knocked out? My beautiful St.
Canard.
Smell those noxious fumes.
Now, where did that blasted Darkwing Duck go? What the? Gosalyn? Great.
I leave for five minutes and Gosalyn's rewired the whole house.
Yep, she's blacked out the whole city again.
[Gosalyn.]
Yeah, you're home! I dirtied the kitchen just like you wanted.
Like I wanted? - What are you up to? - [crashing.]
Yeah, I found another bag of toys.
And some one planted a stinkin' rose bush.
Launchpad? Is there something wrong? You don't look like our usual Mr.
Grumpypuss.
[announcer.]
News flash! Darkwing Duck is loose in St, Canard, Mighty Negaduck demands that Darkwing Duck be arrested on sight, No, I said "shot"! Darkwing Duck should be shot on sight! Or skinned, Yeah! Skin him alive! What's Negaduck doing on TV? Burn him to fiery ash! And then arrest him, And it's easy to recognize Darkwing Duck, He looks just like me, You're Darkwing Duck! Launchpad, what are you doing? Are you nuts? I'd say that's a yes.
Wow! There really is a Darkwing Duck.
Where'd they go? Darkwing Duck has come to save us all! Nothing can stop Darkwing Duck! Tank? May I be of assistance? Tank? OK, Gosalyn's sweet, Launchpad's insane and Tank's polite? What's going on around here? By your confusion, I deduce you're Darkwing Duck.
I'll make this simple.
This is your world.
This is our world.
You, Darkwing Duck, have traveled through the doorway that separates your world from ours and entered the Negaverse.
[echoing.]
Here, everything is the opposite of your universe.
And Negaduck rules supreme.
Oh, I get it.
I fell into a big birthday cake, and now I'm in another universe.
That's right! I don't think so.
[Herb.]
Tankard H.
Muddlefoot, where are you? - [gasping.]
- It's Mother and Father! Hide! Ooh, Tank, dear, you're missing Honker's birthday party.
Lord Negaduck, what an honor.
We didn't expect you to show up.
Ooh, Negaduck, I love your new outfit.
Purple is so gloomy.
Gos, you better go get help.
Welcome to the annual celebration of our little Honker's birth.
- [bird squawking.]
- [screaming.]
It's him! It's Darkwing Duck! He's the one Lord Negaduck said to shoot on sight! To rip to shreds! To burn into fiery ash! No! Wait! Well, isn't this a treat.
Happy birthday, son.
All right! Party time! [Herb.]
And what have we got on the grill tonight, son? Darkwing burgers! Darkwing burgers! I prefer the normal, tacky Muddlefoots.
[Quackerjack.]
I think he's waking up.
Are you Darkwing Duck? Yes, I am the terror that flaps in the night.
Freeze, Darkwing Duck! We've got Darkwing Duck! We've got Darkwing Duck! What's going on? Where am I? You guys are gonna be sorry you messed with the mighty mallard.
OK, OK, we're sorry we messed with the mighty mallard.
Just put the gun down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Most would rather surrender than fight Darkwing Duck.
Get him! Hey! No fair! You're messing with the mighty mallard.
You sure this is the right guy.
When I get through with you you're gonna wish Negaduck was duck enough to do his own dirty deeds.
No, no, no, no! We're not working for Negaduck.
We're against Negaduck.
We didn't kidnap you.
We rescued you.
We're the Friendly Four! OK, now I get it.
This is all just a bad dream brought on by too many of Herb's coconut burgers.
All I have to do is wake myself up and I'll be home, sweet home.
OK, it's not a dream.
This is the Negaverse.
It doesn't mean that I have to stick around though.
No! Don't go! You're the only one who's ever beat Negaduck.
Look, thanks, but no, thanks.
I've gotta return to my own universe, my own city, my own life, my own Gosalyn.
She's probably worried about you.
You shouldn't keep her waiting.
Um Who's kid is this? Gosalyn's guardian is Negaduck.
In the Negaverse, there's never been a Darkwing Duck to guard the city.
[gulping.]
Or a Drake Mallard to be a father.
For you, Gosalyn, I'll stay.
All right, troops, we've gotta get you whipped into shape.
We've gotta be strong, we've gotta be smart and we've got to be inventive.
- [Quackerjack humming.]
- And what have we here? It's done! It's ready! It's the ultimate secret weapon! It's a toy clown? Oh, but this is a really nasty toy clown.
Watch this.
Good job.
Of course, let's not forget.
Our big advantage is that Negaduck has no idea you guys have teamed up with Darkwing Duck! Greetings, kids.
[all gasping.]
It's Negaduck! So much for our big advantage.
Take them to the tower.
[thunderclap.]
The old hometown ain't what it used to be, hey, Darkwing? Oh, a veritable Magic Kingdom of fun for the whole family.
You don't know the half of it.
The Negaverse is my own personal playground.
And with a little help from my Negahammer, you're going to be my own personal pancake! [evil laughter.]
I am sick of hearing your gums flap, Jack! Just kill me and get it over with! All in due time.
When that pendulum cuts through the rope, it's bye-bye Darkwing.
And don't expect any help from those losers.
They couldn't crack an egg, let alone crack this glass.
So long.
I'm off to create more unnecessary pain and suffering.
Losers.
Negaduck's beaten us again! We are losers.
Any second now.
At least I have my clown.
[Darkwing.]
That's it! Quackerjack! The clown! Use the clown! Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
Go away! Bad clown! No! Just another [clearing throat.]
death-defying escape by Darkwing Duck! All right, team.
Let's get dangerous.
Let's get luminous.
[Liquidator.]
Step aside! Make way for the Liquidator! Now that we've got the water flowing, I can fix all the plants.
Yeah! Great.
Now, where is Negaduck? Darkwing Duck has ruined my St.
Canard, so I'll ruin his! Everyone, into the bakery! I was getting sick of this place anyway.
[Friendly Four.]
We are the terrors that flap in the night! We are the soap that's cleaning up this town! We are Darkwing's Ducks! Keen gear! Friendly Four, Darkwing's Ducks, different name, same old losers.
Herb, grill 'em! [exclaiming.]
All right, team, let's prove we're not losers anymore! It's playtime! All right, team! I think you surprised him with that Now, Honker, dear, you run along and do some life-altering damage to those nice men who hurt Mommy.
Come on, let's rock and roll! [screaming.]
Sorry, Muddlefoot, but the Friendly Four are running this town from now on.
Upsy-daisy.
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
Bye-bye, ducky.
[crashing.]
You guys did it! But it would appear that Negaduck has escaped into the portal.
You've got to go get him, Darkwing.
Besides, your Gosalyn needs you.
What about you? Don't worry about me.
I've got four Darkwings to take care of me now.
- Good by, Gos.
- Hurry.
Give me a break.
Ha! Double ha! Whoops.
Now I gotcha.
Now, I've got the upper hand, Negaduck.
Look out! It's the universal plug! If you pull it we'll be sucked into oblivion.
The universal what? Whoaaaa! Well, time to go.
[Negaduck.]
What? Hey, wait a second! Wait! I'll get you for this, Darkwing! Home, sweet home! [sizzling.]
I'm back! And I got the birthday cake too.
Boy, is it good to see you again.
Cut the sap, Dad.
Hand over the cake.
Drakemeister! We saved a couple of juicy coconut burgers for you, spud! I love the Muddlefoots.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck