Milo Murphy's Law (2016) s01e35 Episode Script
A Christmas Peril
1 [TITLE MUSIC.]
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Whoa - # We're all livin' in it # - # Whoa # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # [CHUCKLES.]
I'm so glad, Mom and Dad let us swap cars.
Going to make picking up their Christmas gifts, a lot easier.
Huh, there's nothing but Dad rock and Mom bop in here.
Is that what you're getting your parents at the mall? New music? Nope, my surprise Christmas gift cannot be bought at the mall.
Neither can music, actually.
We're not going to the mall, we're going to the airport.
The airport? What, do your folks really like those bean bag neck rests? No.
But they do love the other Murphys.
- And cousin Nate is our first pick up.
- Hang on, are you telling me, there are Murphys coming for Christmas? Yep! Just in time for Christmas eve dinner.
- That's my surprise.
- That's a great gift, Milo.
Being together with family, that's what Christmas is all about.
[KIDS LAUGHING.]
[KEYPAD BEEPING.]
Don't look at me, I don't know how the kid's MP3 player works.
You know, Christmas is so quiet now.
Remember when we used to spend it with my family? Yeah.
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[BEEPING.]
[CRASHES.]
Ah, things are easier now.
But I do miss those Murphy family Christmases.
ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO.]
And snow flurries are expected to last through this afternoon.
- Aw! - BOTH: White Christmas.
ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO.]
Until later when it will turn into a massive snow storm.
I mean, we're talking mother of all snow storms! Picture a tornado that ate a hurricane and had a blizzard for dessert, and then double it.
[CELL PHONES RINGING.]
ALL: Hey, Mom.
Yeah, we heard.
[ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE.]
Bye.
Too bad it's not the future and our car just can't fly over the snow.
# I'm going to the zoo I'm going to the zoo # # And then I'm gonna See some animals # ANNOUNCER: That's pop star, Vinnie Dakota singing his breakthrough smash, I'm Going to the Zoo, which he then followed up with a decade of hits, including I'm Going to the Dentist.
# I'm going to the dentist # # Then I'm gonna Build some cavities # ANNOUNCER: And the perennial holiday favorite, I'm Going to the Mall to Buy Christmas Presents.
# I'm going to the mall to buy some Christmas presents # ANNOUNCER: Now, you can read all about it in his bestselling autobiography, on sale now! " I'm Going to the Zoo?" Huh, we went to the zoo.
"We.
" Merry Christmas.
[GASPS.]
[CROWD SCREAMING.]
ROBOT: Merry Christmas, Mr.
Dakota sir.
How are you functioning today? Well, I'm affluent, famous and successful, so I must be doing great.
Mr.
Dakota will be signing his book upstairs in the book store.
Form a line, this way.
Oh, if only I had acted differently all those years ago.
I remember it like it was yesterday Christmas, 2175.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Pardon me, but that was my egg roll.
- I called dibs.
- When? Right now.
I'm calling dibs.
Now.
Dibs.
You can't call dibs post factor.
Oh, here he goes with the big word.
It's not a big word.
It's two medium-sized words.
Two medium-sized Latin words.
Why are you always talking down to me? You didn't think I might want that egg roll? Yeah, I thought about it.
I thought maybe I might want it more.
Huh, typical selfish Dakota.
You put your desire for that egg roll before our partnership, our friendship.
Well, that egg roll was a lot more satisfying than our friendship.
To you, a friend is just a person you get to correct all day.
How many times have you ever said to me, "You're right, Dakota"? Have you ever said that? It'd be nice if you were right once in a while.
See, that's That's why food comes first.
Bad friend.
Bad friend.
- Oh, I've had it with this.
- I've had it.
I'm storming out.
Oh, not before I do.
I hope I never see you again.
- N-Not before I do! - That doesn't even make any sense! Goodbye, Cavendish.
You gonna eat that? [CHOMPS.]
You know, it's free, right? It tastes better when it's free.
ROBOT: Did you not read the sign? No loitering, flashbacks or old men with unfinished business in this area.
I'm going to have to ask you to move along.
Feel free to stand over there, however.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[ECHOING.]
If only I can go back.
Wait.
I can go back.
I'm a time traveler.
Of course, I'd be breaking a lot of regulations.
But I could go back and fix it.
Did he say, "Time travel"? [ALL CLAMORING.]
Back! Back! I'm going back to 2175 to fix my past.
Couldn't you just drop us on the way? [MUSIC.]
I need to use the bathroom.
ROBOT: Please, keep all awkward overtures of affection to an absolute minimum.
I'm a big fan! Just wanted to ask you, if I could, whatever happened to you and your old partner? [SIGHS.]
Cavendish.
You all right? It's like the warm facade of your affluent life just dropped away to reveal hidden discontent and pain.
- That's just what I see.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I'm sorry.
I Cavendish and I, we You know, we had a falling out.
Well, time heals all wounds, right? [ECHOING.]
Well, time heals all wounds, right? Right! Time heals all wounds.
I'm a time traveler! Of course, I'll be braking a lot of regulations.
But when has that ever bothered me? Hi, cous.
- Hey, Milo.
- This is my Cousin Nate.
He's in denial about the whole Murphy's Law thing.
I'm not in denial.
I just don't have it.
It skipped a generation.
Right.
So, I'm sure, your luggage will be here.
Yeah, it's not here.
- NATE: There it is, the green one.
- Hey, over here! [MUSIC.]
NATE: Uh, wait, sir? [GROANS.]
We are about to take off.
You need to take your seat.
My bag! MILO: Huh.
Better call Sara.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
MILO: You might want to go to long-term parking.
We're at 30,000 feet.
Yeah, okay.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Murphy's Law, huh? Yeah.
I don't have Murphy's Law.
Would you look at that? Must have fallen out of an airplane.
Quick! Let's get it in the boat so we can get it back to its rightful owner.
Never mind.
Well, these flurries are really starting to come down.
As are Nate and Milo.
Who needs flying cars? Now, here's my chance to set things right.
Now, here's my chance to set things right.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
All I have to do is stop this argument before it happens so that Dakota and I can have years of arguments to look forward to.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, how does one stop an argument before it starts? Merry Christmas.
Point me to the buffet.
If he never finds the buffet table, they won't have an argument at the buffet table.
If he never finds the buffet table, they won't have an argument at the buffet table.
[GRUNTS.]
[WHISPERS.]
Yes! What in the World War Six! What is he doing here? Whoo! I can't wait to see Grandma and Grandpa.
Yeah.
Grandparents are the best.
Hey, are yours full of great stories and wise advice? They might be.
There's no way of telling.
- How come? - You'll see.
Hey, Grandma and Grandpa! [BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
- Uh - Let us help you with those bags.
- Uh, guys - Locked.
I'll go talk to the conductor.
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
Good suggestions.
From what I heard.
Wait Wait, wait! Uh, hey, Sara.
Yeah, um, we're gonna be a few minutes.
SARA: Yeah, I got it.
Look, I don't know why you're here, but whatever it is, just stay out of my way.
You stay out of my way.
- I hope I never see you again! - Not before I do! - That doesn't even make any sense.
- Goodbye, Cavendish.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's typical Dakota.
Just storm off in the middle of the argument.
As per usual, I'll do the adult thing and meddle with the time-space continuum no matter what the consequences.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
I don't have it.
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
No.
- Hi.
- We made it.
MILO: Hey, Aunt Laura, Uncle Joey.
[BOTH GASP.]
MAN: Look out! It's so exciting.
It's like the Titanic! - Fantastic! What a trip! - And I thought Milo was upbeat.
Oh, no.
The storm is really picking up.
[MUSIC.]
Now, this is a Murphy Christmas.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, Milo.
What a way to make an entrance.
I think my toes might fall off.
And that's great because I have the worst toes.
Hi, honey! Did he tell you it skipped a generation in our family? - He did.
- [GIGGLES.]
Isn't that adorable? I don't have it.
I have to make sure I don't get spotted.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Wonderful shindig.
Merry Christmas.
Point me to the buffet.
Uh, how does one stop an argument before it starts? All I have to do is to get the egg rolls.
No egg roll, no argument.
If he never finds the buffet table, they won't have an argument at the buffet table.
[LAUGHS.]
No egg roll, no argument.
Hey, no cutsies, Popo Jelly.
That's not my belly.
Look! [GROWLS.]
DAKOTA: Dinosaur, eat the egg roll.
The egg roll! [GASPS.]
- Ooh, egg roll.
- Oh, I'd like that.
[CAVENDISH YELPING.]
- I called dibs.
- When? [DAKOTA AND CAVENDISH ARGUING.]
[GRUNTS.]
You've had it?! What about me? I've had it.
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[SIGHS.]
I'm gonna need a bigger dinosaur.
What is that old fool trying to do? [GROWLS.]
[YELPS.]
- Getting pretty bad out there? - Maybe this was a mistake.
Maybe I should have just gotten Mom and Dad sweaters.
- No! - Milo.
Maybe there's a reason they stopped getting the Murphys together for the holidays.
My favorite was the year the Christmas hogs got loose.
Or the year the cat got into the Christmas tree and ran through the neighborhood dragging it behind him.
That was my favorite, that was cute.
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
If anyone can get us through this storm and back to the house, it's Murphys.
[CHUCKLES.]
Let's go! MILO: As soon as we dig out of this snowbank.
Finally, got rid of that dinosaur.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Now, there's only one way to stop them from wanting egg rolls.
Scare tactics.
Merry Christmas.
Point me to the buffet.
Time to go.
Stop! Wait.
[GROANS.]
The egg rolls are bad! Don't eat them.
They turned me into this hideous half man, half egg roll monster.
[GROWLING.]
[SCREAMING.]
No! Great way to celebrate Christmas.
This does make me hungry for egg rolls.
Yea-haa! No roof means no argument.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[MUSIC.]
Oh, an egg roll.
I'd like that.
- I called dibs.
- When? Right now.
I'm calling dibs.
Now! Oh, I've had it with this.
You've had it?! What about me? I've had it! - I'm storming out! - Oh, not before I do.
I'm starting to think maybe the size of the dinosaur was not the problem.
[SIRENS BLARING.]
[SIGHS.]
Man, time travel has really complicated this party.
- What are you even doing here? - What are you doing here? Oh, giddy uncle, I'm here trying to fix the past.
I'm trying to save us from a future without - Without what? - Without each other.
- But that's why I'm here.
- Really? Yeah, I'm trying to stop that argument.
How do you stop an argument before it happens? There's just no way, unless BOTH: Unless - We work together.
- We work together.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Great.
We're not even here yet.
- Destroy the party.
Save ourselves.
- What about Mr.
Block? If we get caught crossing our own timelines without approval, we are finished.
[CHUCKLES.]
We'll be in disguise.
- Oh, howdy, partner.
- Don't do that.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[GROWLING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[GROWLING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[GROWLING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[BOTH SIGH.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
The engine won't start.
It's frozen up.
Well, how are we gonna get home for dinner now? [WHIMPERING.]
Oh, my wife was right.
I should have worn a coat.
Plus, who's gonna want to ride in this weather? - Actually, we'd like a ride.
- Yes.
Stranded people.
It's a Christmas miracle! Hang on, we're gonna make it.
[NEIGHS.]
We need to get out of the storm.
- I think there's a building up there.
- Well, what if it's not open? [BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
That's it? Hope for the best or freeze to death? - You don't get to talk.
- There's always a way out.
If it's not open, we'll figure something else out.
I hope.
[SIRENS BLARING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, I've had it with this.
You've had it?! What about me? I've had it! - I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
No! Not ever again.
Stop! Just stop! - Cavendish? - Please stop fighting.
Dakota? You two are in big trouble.
You crossed your own [CHOMPS.]
You don't want to get these guys in trouble tonight.
Trust me.
Have you tried the buffet? You know it's free, right? Tastes better when it's free! - Wait, what is going on? - I I think it's us.
We're sorry.
We We failed.
We failed you.
We failed us.
We crisscrossed our own timelines over and over again, trying to prevent this argument and stop you guys from breaking up.
But no matter what we do, we can't seem to fix this.
You crossed timelines? Your own timelines? But But that's - Reckless and stupid, I know.
- We both did.
- You You did that for me? - Oh, yeah, of course, I did.
But you hate breaking the rules.
And yet, I broke all of them today.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
- Yeah.
Super, super sorry.
Egg rolls aren't more important to me than you are.
I mean, a spring roll maybe, but [POPPING.]
Oh, oh, no! We're vanishing.
The versions of us that aren't friends no longer exist.
It's like we're ghosts of Christmas future.
Wait a moment, we're from the future as well.
- That means that we're going to - Oh, nutjobbers.
[POPS.]
Well, who knows how our future will turn out.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Hey, I know a place that serves the best egg rolls.
MAN: [OVER SPEAKERS.]
The storm is here, folks, and it's a monster! Not a literal monster.
More of a figurative monster.
It's a figure of speech.
I repeat, there's no actual monster.
We're advising all shoppers to wait the worst of the storm out.
It's not safe out there.
- We know, that's why we're leaving.
- We have to find our kids.
No, I'm sorry.
I cannot let anyone out there.
No human being could survive in this weather, it's just [GRUNTS.]
It's open! - Milo! - Dad, Mom! [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
We were so worried.
ALL: Surprise.
Merry Christmas.
- A whole bunch of Murphys.
- How did this - Surprise.
- Joey! - Martin, hey.
- Aw! Oh, this is so great.
- How did you get here? - Oh, Milo.
- BRIGETTE: Milo? - Yeah, Milo wanted to surprise you.
- Aw, Milo.
- Aw, honey.
Thank you, kids.
This is wonderful.
All the Murphys together in one spot.
It's Christmas eve and everything that can go wrong already has.
So, I guess we're safe from here on This is Really happening # Right now # # Right now # Yep, we're okay.
BOTH: Merry Christmas.
[BURPS.]
My bag.
See, I told you I didn't have Murphy's Law.
Oh, this isn't my bag.
Too bad we won't be able to have Christmas eve dinner.
Unless there's somewhere in the mall.
[CHUCKLES.]
What restaurant would still be open on Christmas eve? [MUSIC.]
# It's not about the mistletoe or decorations # # That we keep In the basement # And it's not about The presents # 'Cause that's just Product placement # Merry Christmas, partner.
- You can have the last egg roll.
- No.
Please, you have it.
- No, I insist.
You.
- No.
You have it.
Uh, we have literally thousands of egg rolls.
[GROWLS.]
[DIOGEE BARKING.]
Christmas It's not just a time of year # It's not about Santa Or a dozen reindeer.
# But it's a time That we can be of cheer # And we all know It's Christmas # 'Cause everybody is here Christmas # Everybody is here # - Merry Christmas, old friend.
- Yep, Merry Christmas.
[MUSIC.]
We're all livin' in it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go MILO: Oh, thanks, everybody! That is so motivational.
Go, Milo Go, Milo, go Whoa I'm not sitting here watching the world turn You know I'd rather spin it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go It's my world and we're all livin' in it
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Whoa - # We're all livin' in it # - # Whoa # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # [CHUCKLES.]
I'm so glad, Mom and Dad let us swap cars.
Going to make picking up their Christmas gifts, a lot easier.
Huh, there's nothing but Dad rock and Mom bop in here.
Is that what you're getting your parents at the mall? New music? Nope, my surprise Christmas gift cannot be bought at the mall.
Neither can music, actually.
We're not going to the mall, we're going to the airport.
The airport? What, do your folks really like those bean bag neck rests? No.
But they do love the other Murphys.
- And cousin Nate is our first pick up.
- Hang on, are you telling me, there are Murphys coming for Christmas? Yep! Just in time for Christmas eve dinner.
- That's my surprise.
- That's a great gift, Milo.
Being together with family, that's what Christmas is all about.
[KIDS LAUGHING.]
[KEYPAD BEEPING.]
Don't look at me, I don't know how the kid's MP3 player works.
You know, Christmas is so quiet now.
Remember when we used to spend it with my family? Yeah.
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[BEEPING.]
[CRASHES.]
Ah, things are easier now.
But I do miss those Murphy family Christmases.
ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO.]
And snow flurries are expected to last through this afternoon.
- Aw! - BOTH: White Christmas.
ANNOUNCER: [ON RADIO.]
Until later when it will turn into a massive snow storm.
I mean, we're talking mother of all snow storms! Picture a tornado that ate a hurricane and had a blizzard for dessert, and then double it.
[CELL PHONES RINGING.]
ALL: Hey, Mom.
Yeah, we heard.
[ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE.]
Bye.
Too bad it's not the future and our car just can't fly over the snow.
# I'm going to the zoo I'm going to the zoo # # And then I'm gonna See some animals # ANNOUNCER: That's pop star, Vinnie Dakota singing his breakthrough smash, I'm Going to the Zoo, which he then followed up with a decade of hits, including I'm Going to the Dentist.
# I'm going to the dentist # # Then I'm gonna Build some cavities # ANNOUNCER: And the perennial holiday favorite, I'm Going to the Mall to Buy Christmas Presents.
# I'm going to the mall to buy some Christmas presents # ANNOUNCER: Now, you can read all about it in his bestselling autobiography, on sale now! " I'm Going to the Zoo?" Huh, we went to the zoo.
"We.
" Merry Christmas.
[GASPS.]
[CROWD SCREAMING.]
ROBOT: Merry Christmas, Mr.
Dakota sir.
How are you functioning today? Well, I'm affluent, famous and successful, so I must be doing great.
Mr.
Dakota will be signing his book upstairs in the book store.
Form a line, this way.
Oh, if only I had acted differently all those years ago.
I remember it like it was yesterday Christmas, 2175.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Pardon me, but that was my egg roll.
- I called dibs.
- When? Right now.
I'm calling dibs.
Now.
Dibs.
You can't call dibs post factor.
Oh, here he goes with the big word.
It's not a big word.
It's two medium-sized words.
Two medium-sized Latin words.
Why are you always talking down to me? You didn't think I might want that egg roll? Yeah, I thought about it.
I thought maybe I might want it more.
Huh, typical selfish Dakota.
You put your desire for that egg roll before our partnership, our friendship.
Well, that egg roll was a lot more satisfying than our friendship.
To you, a friend is just a person you get to correct all day.
How many times have you ever said to me, "You're right, Dakota"? Have you ever said that? It'd be nice if you were right once in a while.
See, that's That's why food comes first.
Bad friend.
Bad friend.
- Oh, I've had it with this.
- I've had it.
I'm storming out.
Oh, not before I do.
I hope I never see you again.
- N-Not before I do! - That doesn't even make any sense! Goodbye, Cavendish.
You gonna eat that? [CHOMPS.]
You know, it's free, right? It tastes better when it's free.
ROBOT: Did you not read the sign? No loitering, flashbacks or old men with unfinished business in this area.
I'm going to have to ask you to move along.
Feel free to stand over there, however.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
[ECHOING.]
If only I can go back.
Wait.
I can go back.
I'm a time traveler.
Of course, I'd be breaking a lot of regulations.
But I could go back and fix it.
Did he say, "Time travel"? [ALL CLAMORING.]
Back! Back! I'm going back to 2175 to fix my past.
Couldn't you just drop us on the way? [MUSIC.]
I need to use the bathroom.
ROBOT: Please, keep all awkward overtures of affection to an absolute minimum.
I'm a big fan! Just wanted to ask you, if I could, whatever happened to you and your old partner? [SIGHS.]
Cavendish.
You all right? It's like the warm facade of your affluent life just dropped away to reveal hidden discontent and pain.
- That's just what I see.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I'm sorry.
I Cavendish and I, we You know, we had a falling out.
Well, time heals all wounds, right? [ECHOING.]
Well, time heals all wounds, right? Right! Time heals all wounds.
I'm a time traveler! Of course, I'll be braking a lot of regulations.
But when has that ever bothered me? Hi, cous.
- Hey, Milo.
- This is my Cousin Nate.
He's in denial about the whole Murphy's Law thing.
I'm not in denial.
I just don't have it.
It skipped a generation.
Right.
So, I'm sure, your luggage will be here.
Yeah, it's not here.
- NATE: There it is, the green one.
- Hey, over here! [MUSIC.]
NATE: Uh, wait, sir? [GROANS.]
We are about to take off.
You need to take your seat.
My bag! MILO: Huh.
Better call Sara.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
MILO: You might want to go to long-term parking.
We're at 30,000 feet.
Yeah, okay.
[CELL PHONE BEEPS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Murphy's Law, huh? Yeah.
I don't have Murphy's Law.
Would you look at that? Must have fallen out of an airplane.
Quick! Let's get it in the boat so we can get it back to its rightful owner.
Never mind.
Well, these flurries are really starting to come down.
As are Nate and Milo.
Who needs flying cars? Now, here's my chance to set things right.
Now, here's my chance to set things right.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
All I have to do is stop this argument before it happens so that Dakota and I can have years of arguments to look forward to.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, how does one stop an argument before it starts? Merry Christmas.
Point me to the buffet.
If he never finds the buffet table, they won't have an argument at the buffet table.
If he never finds the buffet table, they won't have an argument at the buffet table.
[GRUNTS.]
[WHISPERS.]
Yes! What in the World War Six! What is he doing here? Whoo! I can't wait to see Grandma and Grandpa.
Yeah.
Grandparents are the best.
Hey, are yours full of great stories and wise advice? They might be.
There's no way of telling.
- How come? - You'll see.
Hey, Grandma and Grandpa! [BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
- Uh - Let us help you with those bags.
- Uh, guys - Locked.
I'll go talk to the conductor.
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
Good suggestions.
From what I heard.
Wait Wait, wait! Uh, hey, Sara.
Yeah, um, we're gonna be a few minutes.
SARA: Yeah, I got it.
Look, I don't know why you're here, but whatever it is, just stay out of my way.
You stay out of my way.
- I hope I never see you again! - Not before I do! - That doesn't even make any sense.
- Goodbye, Cavendish.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's typical Dakota.
Just storm off in the middle of the argument.
As per usual, I'll do the adult thing and meddle with the time-space continuum no matter what the consequences.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
I don't have it.
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
No.
- Hi.
- We made it.
MILO: Hey, Aunt Laura, Uncle Joey.
[BOTH GASP.]
MAN: Look out! It's so exciting.
It's like the Titanic! - Fantastic! What a trip! - And I thought Milo was upbeat.
Oh, no.
The storm is really picking up.
[MUSIC.]
Now, this is a Murphy Christmas.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, Milo.
What a way to make an entrance.
I think my toes might fall off.
And that's great because I have the worst toes.
Hi, honey! Did he tell you it skipped a generation in our family? - He did.
- [GIGGLES.]
Isn't that adorable? I don't have it.
I have to make sure I don't get spotted.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Wonderful shindig.
Merry Christmas.
Point me to the buffet.
Uh, how does one stop an argument before it starts? All I have to do is to get the egg rolls.
No egg roll, no argument.
If he never finds the buffet table, they won't have an argument at the buffet table.
[LAUGHS.]
No egg roll, no argument.
Hey, no cutsies, Popo Jelly.
That's not my belly.
Look! [GROWLS.]
DAKOTA: Dinosaur, eat the egg roll.
The egg roll! [GASPS.]
- Ooh, egg roll.
- Oh, I'd like that.
[CAVENDISH YELPING.]
- I called dibs.
- When? [DAKOTA AND CAVENDISH ARGUING.]
[GRUNTS.]
You've had it?! What about me? I've had it.
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[SIGHS.]
I'm gonna need a bigger dinosaur.
What is that old fool trying to do? [GROWLS.]
[YELPS.]
- Getting pretty bad out there? - Maybe this was a mistake.
Maybe I should have just gotten Mom and Dad sweaters.
- No! - Milo.
Maybe there's a reason they stopped getting the Murphys together for the holidays.
My favorite was the year the Christmas hogs got loose.
Or the year the cat got into the Christmas tree and ran through the neighborhood dragging it behind him.
That was my favorite, that was cute.
[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
If anyone can get us through this storm and back to the house, it's Murphys.
[CHUCKLES.]
Let's go! MILO: As soon as we dig out of this snowbank.
Finally, got rid of that dinosaur.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Now, there's only one way to stop them from wanting egg rolls.
Scare tactics.
Merry Christmas.
Point me to the buffet.
Time to go.
Stop! Wait.
[GROANS.]
The egg rolls are bad! Don't eat them.
They turned me into this hideous half man, half egg roll monster.
[GROWLING.]
[SCREAMING.]
No! Great way to celebrate Christmas.
This does make me hungry for egg rolls.
Yea-haa! No roof means no argument.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[MUSIC.]
Oh, an egg roll.
I'd like that.
- I called dibs.
- When? Right now.
I'm calling dibs.
Now! Oh, I've had it with this.
You've had it?! What about me? I've had it! - I'm storming out! - Oh, not before I do.
I'm starting to think maybe the size of the dinosaur was not the problem.
[SIRENS BLARING.]
[SIGHS.]
Man, time travel has really complicated this party.
- What are you even doing here? - What are you doing here? Oh, giddy uncle, I'm here trying to fix the past.
I'm trying to save us from a future without - Without what? - Without each other.
- But that's why I'm here.
- Really? Yeah, I'm trying to stop that argument.
How do you stop an argument before it happens? There's just no way, unless BOTH: Unless - We work together.
- We work together.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Great.
We're not even here yet.
- Destroy the party.
Save ourselves.
- What about Mr.
Block? If we get caught crossing our own timelines without approval, we are finished.
[CHUCKLES.]
We'll be in disguise.
- Oh, howdy, partner.
- Don't do that.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[GROWLING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[GROWLING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[GROWLING.]
- I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[BOTH SIGH.]
[ENGINE REVVING.]
The engine won't start.
It's frozen up.
Well, how are we gonna get home for dinner now? [WHIMPERING.]
Oh, my wife was right.
I should have worn a coat.
Plus, who's gonna want to ride in this weather? - Actually, we'd like a ride.
- Yes.
Stranded people.
It's a Christmas miracle! Hang on, we're gonna make it.
[NEIGHS.]
We need to get out of the storm.
- I think there's a building up there.
- Well, what if it's not open? [BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
That's it? Hope for the best or freeze to death? - You don't get to talk.
- There's always a way out.
If it's not open, we'll figure something else out.
I hope.
[SIRENS BLARING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, I've had it with this.
You've had it?! What about me? I've had it! - I'm storming out.
- Oh, not before I do.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
No! Not ever again.
Stop! Just stop! - Cavendish? - Please stop fighting.
Dakota? You two are in big trouble.
You crossed your own [CHOMPS.]
You don't want to get these guys in trouble tonight.
Trust me.
Have you tried the buffet? You know it's free, right? Tastes better when it's free! - Wait, what is going on? - I I think it's us.
We're sorry.
We We failed.
We failed you.
We failed us.
We crisscrossed our own timelines over and over again, trying to prevent this argument and stop you guys from breaking up.
But no matter what we do, we can't seem to fix this.
You crossed timelines? Your own timelines? But But that's - Reckless and stupid, I know.
- We both did.
- You You did that for me? - Oh, yeah, of course, I did.
But you hate breaking the rules.
And yet, I broke all of them today.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
- Yeah.
Super, super sorry.
Egg rolls aren't more important to me than you are.
I mean, a spring roll maybe, but [POPPING.]
Oh, oh, no! We're vanishing.
The versions of us that aren't friends no longer exist.
It's like we're ghosts of Christmas future.
Wait a moment, we're from the future as well.
- That means that we're going to - Oh, nutjobbers.
[POPS.]
Well, who knows how our future will turn out.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Hey, I know a place that serves the best egg rolls.
MAN: [OVER SPEAKERS.]
The storm is here, folks, and it's a monster! Not a literal monster.
More of a figurative monster.
It's a figure of speech.
I repeat, there's no actual monster.
We're advising all shoppers to wait the worst of the storm out.
It's not safe out there.
- We know, that's why we're leaving.
- We have to find our kids.
No, I'm sorry.
I cannot let anyone out there.
No human being could survive in this weather, it's just [GRUNTS.]
It's open! - Milo! - Dad, Mom! [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTIVELY.]
We were so worried.
ALL: Surprise.
Merry Christmas.
- A whole bunch of Murphys.
- How did this - Surprise.
- Joey! - Martin, hey.
- Aw! Oh, this is so great.
- How did you get here? - Oh, Milo.
- BRIGETTE: Milo? - Yeah, Milo wanted to surprise you.
- Aw, Milo.
- Aw, honey.
Thank you, kids.
This is wonderful.
All the Murphys together in one spot.
It's Christmas eve and everything that can go wrong already has.
So, I guess we're safe from here on This is Really happening # Right now # # Right now # Yep, we're okay.
BOTH: Merry Christmas.
[BURPS.]
My bag.
See, I told you I didn't have Murphy's Law.
Oh, this isn't my bag.
Too bad we won't be able to have Christmas eve dinner.
Unless there's somewhere in the mall.
[CHUCKLES.]
What restaurant would still be open on Christmas eve? [MUSIC.]
# It's not about the mistletoe or decorations # # That we keep In the basement # And it's not about The presents # 'Cause that's just Product placement # Merry Christmas, partner.
- You can have the last egg roll.
- No.
Please, you have it.
- No, I insist.
You.
- No.
You have it.
Uh, we have literally thousands of egg rolls.
[GROWLS.]
[DIOGEE BARKING.]
Christmas It's not just a time of year # It's not about Santa Or a dozen reindeer.
# But it's a time That we can be of cheer # And we all know It's Christmas # 'Cause everybody is here Christmas # Everybody is here # - Merry Christmas, old friend.
- Yep, Merry Christmas.
[MUSIC.]
We're all livin' in it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go MILO: Oh, thanks, everybody! That is so motivational.
Go, Milo Go, Milo, go Whoa I'm not sitting here watching the world turn You know I'd rather spin it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go It's my world and we're all livin' in it