Batman s01e36 Episode Script

Hey, what's with you? Hi.
Come on, will you.
I ain't got all night, you know.
What the? No! Stay back! Keep away from me! If it's a fight you're looking for, try starting one with me.
The masquerade party's over, hairy.
Well, Mr.
John Hamner you're a very lucky fella.
Helen, get me We need to talk.
I wish you'd stop doing that.
Just tangled with a mugger in a werewolf mask.
I tried to stop him and he threw a guy off a bridge.
Mean anything to you? A werewolf mask? Let's take a look.
Only thing that even comes close is two Alaskan timber wolves stolen from the city zoo last Friday.
The victim's name was John Hamner.
From his uniform, I'd say he works for the zoo.
I doubt it's a coincidence.
I'll get Bullock on it.
Helen, get me Harvey Bullock.
Yeah, ASAP.
Something wrong, Batman? Just had a disturbing thought, that's all.
What if that guy wasn't wearing a mask? Just under the wire.
Oh, please, spare me the melodrama.
In precisely seven seconds all your fearsome growling won't mean a blessed thing.
There, all better.
Easy.
Easy.
It'll all be over soon.
Now that you've taken care of Hamner.
No.
The Batman interfered.
Him again.
Obviously, something will have to be done about him.
Won't it, my friend? And here are today's headlines.
Former Olympic champion Anthony Romulus announced in today's Gotham Globe that he would double his million-dollar pledge to charity if Batman appears at his home to receive the check.
Haven't seen you around here lately, Tony.
Been busy, Bruce.
Trying to find a new tax shelter or two.
Then you're serious about that ad in the paper, Tony? Dead serious.
I'll give two and a half million to the Gotham United Fund provided Batman comes to the house personally to pick up the check.
Why him? Looking for someone to arm-wrestle? Oh, let's just say I've always wanted to check out Gotham's second-best athlete firsthand.
The Alaskan timber wolf hunts in pairs or in packs contrary to the way this predator is commonly depicted in wildlife adventure films.
Thinking of acquiring a new pet, Master Bruce? No, Alfred.
Just searching for some connection between Hamner, those stolen wolves, and that hairy weirdo.
The hairs check out as genuine wolf hair.
But it could mean only that shaggy was wearing an extremely fancy mask.
I've come at this problem from a dozen directions.
But they all lead to the same dead end.
Then, might I suggest, sir, that it's time to get a new map.
Or time to stop spinning my wheels, at least.
I have other business tonight.
You're welcome.
Batman.
I hear you have something for me, Mr.
Romulus.
I've been expecting you.
Please, make yourself comfortable.
I'll write you a check.
- Would you care for something to drink? - No, thank you.
Can we just get on with it? Is it getting hot in here? Hot? Why, no, I don't believe so.
It is hot.
And there's something wrong with the air in here.
It's Of course.
Gas.
Don't know what you're trying to pull but you're not going to I'm sorry, Batman.
But you really should've taken the doctored drink.
Sounds like there's quite a nasty storm brewing, my friend.
I hope so, Milo.
The rain will make me feel cleaner after what we just did.
And I hope he awakens before moonrise.
I want him to see the end coming.
An end you expect me to deliver.
Milo, you're a worse animal than anything I turn into.
But I'm the animal who holds the key to your salvation.
Don't ever forget that.
Now, why don't I pour you a cup of tea, Anthony.
- You'll feel better.
- In a pig's eye, Milo.
There's only one thing I want from you.
The antidote? Certainly.
When you've earned it.
As if I haven't suffered enough.
You know what they say, Anthony.
No pain, no gain.
But you know that far better than I.
What with all that training you did to compete in the Autumn Games.
But that wasn't good enough for you, was it? No.
You wanted something that would guarantee a gold medal.
And I gave it to you.
Steroids, Mr.
Romulus.
No, too easily detectable.
But there is this.
A special steroid derivative I've been working on.
Undetectable and unbeatable.
One thing you should know.
This serum contains both steroids and timber wolf estrogen.
All designed to heighten one's physical attributes to their utmost.
Unfortunately, it still requires testing.
Hey.
Too late, professor.
The power is mine now.
Then all that remains is to discuss my fee.
And you got your money's worth, didn't you, my friend? Oh, yes, your money's worth and more.
Using your newfound fame to earn a fortune.
Public appearances.
Commercial endorsements.
And that only made your terrible selfishness all the more reprehensible.
Why should I give you a dime? It was my own sweat that got me this far, Milo.
And I intend to go the rest of the way alone.
Now, there was a decision you've lived to regret, wasn't it? The effects can't be reversed.
- What? - I said, reversed, Anthony.
I can't reverse the process.
But I can complete it.
What you're suffering from, my friend, is an early stage of lycanthropy.
More commonly known as werewolfism.
For that, I have no treatment.
However, advanced werewolfism can be cured.
What? What did you do to me? The pain! The pain! And if you ever wish it to go away, Anthony from this moment forward, you will do precisely what I tell you.
I won't let you trick me again, Milo.
Now, give me that antidote.
Please, just a taste.
No, not a drop.
I want all the creature's savagery unleashed on the Batman.
You Hamner? - John Hamner? Bullock, Gotham P.
D.
- What do you want? About them two wolves somebody boosted.
There was no sign of forced entry here, you know.
So I'm figuring somebody must have unlocked the cages.
And looked the other way.
I've been checking you out.
Seems last week, your bank account got bigger by a few grand.
So, what's the story? I want the truth before I decide to feed you to your furry friends here.
All right, all right.
You got it.
The guy tells me to open the locks.
Next morning, the wolves are gone.
- What guy? - I don't know.
I never saw him, he calls me.
Pays me by courier.
For all I know, he could be you.
You got that wrong, pally.
I'm the guy taking you in.
You fool.
There's no telling what the werewolf might do.
Hey, ask me if I care.
Now go.
Your victim is waiting.
Go, Anth Anthony, what? What are you doing? Anthony, please! Let Let's talk about this.
We can No! - Honey, did you hear that? - It's only the wind, Norman.
Come on, we gotta call 911.
Do me a favor, shaggy.
Stay down! Guess not.
I'm obviously no match for you down here.
So let's take this to higher ground.
What's that? Hold your fire till I give the word.
Your move, hairy.
There.
I said, no shooting.
Let him handle this.
For now.
You know, my friend, I'm innocent.
They'll never convict me of a thing.
Don't bet on it.
No trace of wolfie.
We checked the shoreline for miles.
But in four weeks, there's another full moon.
Then we'll know for sure.
Isn't it just to die for? Wait till you see the gym.
You'll plotz.
This place used to belong to Anthony Romulus, didn't it? - So why'd he wanna move? - Oh, but he didn't.
They say he just left town one day.
The house is being sold to pay off his creditors.
Any idea what happened to him? No, nobody really knows.
Strange, ain't it? Yeah.
A guy who's got just about everything.
And he gives it all up?