Clarence US (2014) s01e36 Episode Script
Dust Buddies
1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Clarence: All right.
See you later, mom.
I'm gonna go hang out with my best friend Belson.
Mom: Oh, have fun, and don't let him boss you around.
Pfft! That's the funniest joke I've heard all day, Mom! And then I said that she should be a stand-up comedian.
What did I tell you? Robot slave can only talk when I say.
Left! Go left! Clarence: Affirmative, sir.
Commencing movement.
[Imitating robot whirring.]
Not you, dummy! Right! - Clarence: Roger dodger.
- Gah! Stop it, you doofus! - No, I'm talking to - Belson, honey? - Can I talk to you for a sec? - Go away! - Hi, Clarence.
- Clarence: Hi, Mrs.
Belson! Belson, it's about Tuffy.
Ugh! For the thousandth time, I already walked your dog! [Yapping.]
[Up-tempo music playing.]
Okay.
And why did Hank find her on his lawn? - Hank? Who's Hank? - Our neighbor.
Hi, there.
I found this little yap-a-doodle eatin' my wheatgrass.
Belson, I asked you to do one thing, and Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll never do it again.
- Robot slave, close my door! - Clarence: Yes, master.
[Imitates robot whirring.]
Whoa! Well, thanks for bringing Tuffy back.
You'll have to excuse Belson's behavior.
Well, if I may share a little insight with you, it's like what I teach in my development course the family unit is a human heart, and you have to ask yourself, are you the aorta, or are you a ventricle? - The point is, discipline earns respect.
- Oh, Belson respects me.
[Panting.]
Hate it.
Hate it.
Dumb.
No.
Wrong color.
Argh! What part of "just give me cash" don't you understand?! [Up-tempo music plays.]
Did you do that yourself? [Chomps.]
Well, look, me and some real chill cats are having a little drum circle this Friday.
If There's nothing to eat in here.
Clarence: Bzzt! Correction.
There is probably lots of food.
I'll go grocery shopping tomorrow.
Write down what you'd like me to pick up.
Yeah, like you'll even get it.
Voice: Discipline builds respect.
Ha-da-da-da-da ooh, ooh Ugh.
Almond milk? [Inhales deeply.]
Belson, clean up this mess.
- What? Are you for real? - You heard me.
[Scoffs.]
Okay, fine.
Robot slave, clean up this mess.
- Belson, I'm asking you to do it.
- What does it matter? We have Loop to do it for us! Heck, I'll call her now.
It's pronounced "Lupe," and it isn't her job to clean every mess you make.
Look, there are ventricles and there are capillaries, and - Hey, Loop? - Give me that! Lupe? Oh, Cynthia! Yeah, no.
There's a lot of construction, but I'm on my way! I'll see you soon.
Clarence: [slurping.]
[Slurping.]
[Ding!.]
Lupe, hold on a sec.
Clarence, why don't you go home and ask your mom if she'd like our cleaning service? Huh? Belson is going to be doing the cleaning at our house today.
Wha-a-a-at?! Clarence: Mom! Mom! Oof! Belson's mom says that Oof! Belson's mom says that their lady who cleans their house can come over and clean our house because she's not gonna clean - their house 'cause I was a robot - Mom: Okay, okay.
Hold on, hon.
Cynthia, hi.
Hey.
Go on.
Your maid? Oh, uh, yeah.
Of c it's a funny story, because we usually have, er, uh, R-Reginald, our, uh, butler, but he's sick, you know, so, actually, that's great that you're offering, uh Sure.
I mean, that works out fantastic! Great! Okay! Tha Tha oh, bye.
Oy, yoi, yoi.
[Sighs.]
I can't have a cleaning service come over seein' our house like this.
Look at it! It's a mess! Clarence: Yeah, but isn't that the point? Aren't they supposed to clean it up? Mom: Well, she's technically our guest, right? Oh, gosh.
I do not need this today.
Clarence: Mom, you're not really making any sense at all.
Mom: You're right.
If I'm gonna get this place cleaned up before the maid gets here, I'm gonna need your help, all right? Clarence: Uh Look in her eyes, she needs you Clarence: Okay.
Yeah.
Sure! Okay.
Start with the trash.
- Then do the dishes.
- Oh, okay.
Oopsy! I don't know what I'm doing.
Oh, no! [Plate shatters.]
[Dramatic music plays.]
[Twinkle!.]
Okay, fine.
It just so happens there are some things that I'm bad at doing, too! Mom: [humming.]
Clarence: # doot doot doot doot doot # Aww.
- This is so boring! - Mom: Hmm? - Uh-oh.
- Clarence: What? What is it? Mom: Oh, I just noticed, uh, we got some giant snail food over here.
Yeah, giant snails you know, this stuff they love eating it.
Unless we get rid of it with that wand you have there, we're in big trouble.
- Clarence: Whoa.
Really? - Oh, yeah, you got that wand.
Yeah, no.
Pretty soon this whole place is gonna be full of big, hungry snails.
Clarence: Hmm.
[Snarls.]
Clarence: Must get rid of giant-snail food! [Gasps.]
Aah! Where else? Where else? - Mom: Over there, on the shelves! - Clarence: I'm on it! Mom: You're doing a great job, hon.
Keep those snails at bay, all right? Clarence: What is this dark trickery? [Up-tempo music plays.]
[Music stops.]
Oh, great.
[Whip! Clatter!.]
[Music playing in distance.]
I need batteries now! [Gasps.]
It says, "life meter low.
" Is that bad? [Mid-tempo music plays.]
Voice: Expired! - Whoops! - Mom, stop it! You can't play my What're you d You're gonna kill all my g Oh, my gosh! All my extra lives! Did you finish cleaning up the kitchen, gummy bear? Oh, not you my son.
I call him that because when he was a baby he reminded me of a cute little gummy bear.
Voice: Expired! Whoops! Is that bad? [Grunting.]
Ah, ah, ah! Not until the kitchen's cleaned! [Panting.]
[Music.]
[Grunts.]
[Grunts.]
[Breathing heavily.]
Okay! I'm doing the chores! You can stop now! And the gutters? They need to be cleaned out! Voice: Expired! Okay! Okay! Whatever you want! Just please stop! Clarence: [grunting.]
Mom: [shrieks.]
[Shrieks.]
Mom: All right! Now let's get back to that quicksand! [People screaming.]
[Groans.]
[Grunts.]
Hey, there, bud! [Groans.]
You helping your mom out? - Uh, yeah.
- It's important to pitch in.
I never helped my mom out, and we haven't spoken in years.
Keep that thought in your pocket, huh? [Doorbell rings.]
Clarence: Hi! Welcome to our kingdom! Mom: Hi, Lupe.
Thanks so much for coming over.
Oh, no problem.
Uh, my goodness.
Your Your home already looks so clean! Mom: Oh, what? Are you crazy? This pigsty? [twinkle! twinkle! twinkle! twinkle!.]
All right.
Well, uh, let's get started! - Uh - Mom: How about, uh, this lamp? [squeak! squeak!.]
[Groans.]
I've cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom, the rugs, the gutters, took out the trash, did the windows, the walls, and picked up after Tuffy.
Can you please stop playing my game now? Of course, honey just as soon as you clear out the Christmas decorations from the garage.
[Whimpers.]
[screaming.]
Voice: Expired! Mom: Oh, I think that's a spot right there.
Good.
Okay, Lupe.
Look, I-I can't lie anymore.
W-We cleaned up before you got here.
You're right.
I-I never had a cleaning service before, and when Cynthia called, I-I panicked.
Clarence: And we also just fought dragons and we fought snails and stuff.
It was cool.
Mom: We have a creative cleaning method.
[Chuckles nervously.]
- Would you like some coffee or somethin'? - Oh, sure.
Thank you! [Grunts.]
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! [Crash!.]
Ohh! Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Belson: Help! I'm being attacked! Clarence: And this is the dragon, and we had to beat him up 'cause he was a bad dragon.
And then this is the quicksand.
We had to pick it up.
Well, that was very brave of you and your mom.
Clarence: I know.
[Giggles.]
You know, I really admire your relationship with your son.
It reminds me of an old folk legend.
Clarence: A legend?! I want to hear a legend! Tell me the legend.
Well, it was long ago [Dogs barking, woman screams.]
never to be seen or heard of again.
Oh, I-I mean, not that last part of the story, but the earlier part that's what reminds me of you two.
Clarence: Wow.
[Slowly.]
Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Belson! I should have known you're - not strong enough to lift that thing.
- This is your fault! [Sighs.]
You know, I really thought today would teach you some responsibility, but, clearly, you're just too weak and gummy.
Oh, come here, you "widdle" gummy bear.
[Blam!.]
Ahhh.
Finally! [Gasps.]
[Up-tempo music plays.]
Welcome back, gummy bear! [Laughs.]
Man: Hey, bud, can I join your team? [Music continues.]
Voice: Expired!
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Clarence: All right.
See you later, mom.
I'm gonna go hang out with my best friend Belson.
Mom: Oh, have fun, and don't let him boss you around.
Pfft! That's the funniest joke I've heard all day, Mom! And then I said that she should be a stand-up comedian.
What did I tell you? Robot slave can only talk when I say.
Left! Go left! Clarence: Affirmative, sir.
Commencing movement.
[Imitating robot whirring.]
Not you, dummy! Right! - Clarence: Roger dodger.
- Gah! Stop it, you doofus! - No, I'm talking to - Belson, honey? - Can I talk to you for a sec? - Go away! - Hi, Clarence.
- Clarence: Hi, Mrs.
Belson! Belson, it's about Tuffy.
Ugh! For the thousandth time, I already walked your dog! [Yapping.]
[Up-tempo music playing.]
Okay.
And why did Hank find her on his lawn? - Hank? Who's Hank? - Our neighbor.
Hi, there.
I found this little yap-a-doodle eatin' my wheatgrass.
Belson, I asked you to do one thing, and Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll never do it again.
- Robot slave, close my door! - Clarence: Yes, master.
[Imitates robot whirring.]
Whoa! Well, thanks for bringing Tuffy back.
You'll have to excuse Belson's behavior.
Well, if I may share a little insight with you, it's like what I teach in my development course the family unit is a human heart, and you have to ask yourself, are you the aorta, or are you a ventricle? - The point is, discipline earns respect.
- Oh, Belson respects me.
[Panting.]
Hate it.
Hate it.
Dumb.
No.
Wrong color.
Argh! What part of "just give me cash" don't you understand?! [Up-tempo music plays.]
Did you do that yourself? [Chomps.]
Well, look, me and some real chill cats are having a little drum circle this Friday.
If There's nothing to eat in here.
Clarence: Bzzt! Correction.
There is probably lots of food.
I'll go grocery shopping tomorrow.
Write down what you'd like me to pick up.
Yeah, like you'll even get it.
Voice: Discipline builds respect.
Ha-da-da-da-da ooh, ooh Ugh.
Almond milk? [Inhales deeply.]
Belson, clean up this mess.
- What? Are you for real? - You heard me.
[Scoffs.]
Okay, fine.
Robot slave, clean up this mess.
- Belson, I'm asking you to do it.
- What does it matter? We have Loop to do it for us! Heck, I'll call her now.
It's pronounced "Lupe," and it isn't her job to clean every mess you make.
Look, there are ventricles and there are capillaries, and - Hey, Loop? - Give me that! Lupe? Oh, Cynthia! Yeah, no.
There's a lot of construction, but I'm on my way! I'll see you soon.
Clarence: [slurping.]
[Slurping.]
[Ding!.]
Lupe, hold on a sec.
Clarence, why don't you go home and ask your mom if she'd like our cleaning service? Huh? Belson is going to be doing the cleaning at our house today.
Wha-a-a-at?! Clarence: Mom! Mom! Oof! Belson's mom says that Oof! Belson's mom says that their lady who cleans their house can come over and clean our house because she's not gonna clean - their house 'cause I was a robot - Mom: Okay, okay.
Hold on, hon.
Cynthia, hi.
Hey.
Go on.
Your maid? Oh, uh, yeah.
Of c it's a funny story, because we usually have, er, uh, R-Reginald, our, uh, butler, but he's sick, you know, so, actually, that's great that you're offering, uh Sure.
I mean, that works out fantastic! Great! Okay! Tha Tha oh, bye.
Oy, yoi, yoi.
[Sighs.]
I can't have a cleaning service come over seein' our house like this.
Look at it! It's a mess! Clarence: Yeah, but isn't that the point? Aren't they supposed to clean it up? Mom: Well, she's technically our guest, right? Oh, gosh.
I do not need this today.
Clarence: Mom, you're not really making any sense at all.
Mom: You're right.
If I'm gonna get this place cleaned up before the maid gets here, I'm gonna need your help, all right? Clarence: Uh Look in her eyes, she needs you Clarence: Okay.
Yeah.
Sure! Okay.
Start with the trash.
- Then do the dishes.
- Oh, okay.
Oopsy! I don't know what I'm doing.
Oh, no! [Plate shatters.]
[Dramatic music plays.]
[Twinkle!.]
Okay, fine.
It just so happens there are some things that I'm bad at doing, too! Mom: [humming.]
Clarence: # doot doot doot doot doot # Aww.
- This is so boring! - Mom: Hmm? - Uh-oh.
- Clarence: What? What is it? Mom: Oh, I just noticed, uh, we got some giant snail food over here.
Yeah, giant snails you know, this stuff they love eating it.
Unless we get rid of it with that wand you have there, we're in big trouble.
- Clarence: Whoa.
Really? - Oh, yeah, you got that wand.
Yeah, no.
Pretty soon this whole place is gonna be full of big, hungry snails.
Clarence: Hmm.
[Snarls.]
Clarence: Must get rid of giant-snail food! [Gasps.]
Aah! Where else? Where else? - Mom: Over there, on the shelves! - Clarence: I'm on it! Mom: You're doing a great job, hon.
Keep those snails at bay, all right? Clarence: What is this dark trickery? [Up-tempo music plays.]
[Music stops.]
Oh, great.
[Whip! Clatter!.]
[Music playing in distance.]
I need batteries now! [Gasps.]
It says, "life meter low.
" Is that bad? [Mid-tempo music plays.]
Voice: Expired! - Whoops! - Mom, stop it! You can't play my What're you d You're gonna kill all my g Oh, my gosh! All my extra lives! Did you finish cleaning up the kitchen, gummy bear? Oh, not you my son.
I call him that because when he was a baby he reminded me of a cute little gummy bear.
Voice: Expired! Whoops! Is that bad? [Grunting.]
Ah, ah, ah! Not until the kitchen's cleaned! [Panting.]
[Music.]
[Grunts.]
[Grunts.]
[Breathing heavily.]
Okay! I'm doing the chores! You can stop now! And the gutters? They need to be cleaned out! Voice: Expired! Okay! Okay! Whatever you want! Just please stop! Clarence: [grunting.]
Mom: [shrieks.]
[Shrieks.]
Mom: All right! Now let's get back to that quicksand! [People screaming.]
[Groans.]
[Grunts.]
Hey, there, bud! [Groans.]
You helping your mom out? - Uh, yeah.
- It's important to pitch in.
I never helped my mom out, and we haven't spoken in years.
Keep that thought in your pocket, huh? [Doorbell rings.]
Clarence: Hi! Welcome to our kingdom! Mom: Hi, Lupe.
Thanks so much for coming over.
Oh, no problem.
Uh, my goodness.
Your Your home already looks so clean! Mom: Oh, what? Are you crazy? This pigsty? [twinkle! twinkle! twinkle! twinkle!.]
All right.
Well, uh, let's get started! - Uh - Mom: How about, uh, this lamp? [squeak! squeak!.]
[Groans.]
I've cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom, the rugs, the gutters, took out the trash, did the windows, the walls, and picked up after Tuffy.
Can you please stop playing my game now? Of course, honey just as soon as you clear out the Christmas decorations from the garage.
[Whimpers.]
[screaming.]
Voice: Expired! Mom: Oh, I think that's a spot right there.
Good.
Okay, Lupe.
Look, I-I can't lie anymore.
W-We cleaned up before you got here.
You're right.
I-I never had a cleaning service before, and when Cynthia called, I-I panicked.
Clarence: And we also just fought dragons and we fought snails and stuff.
It was cool.
Mom: We have a creative cleaning method.
[Chuckles nervously.]
- Would you like some coffee or somethin'? - Oh, sure.
Thank you! [Grunts.]
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! [Crash!.]
Ohh! Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Belson: Help! I'm being attacked! Clarence: And this is the dragon, and we had to beat him up 'cause he was a bad dragon.
And then this is the quicksand.
We had to pick it up.
Well, that was very brave of you and your mom.
Clarence: I know.
[Giggles.]
You know, I really admire your relationship with your son.
It reminds me of an old folk legend.
Clarence: A legend?! I want to hear a legend! Tell me the legend.
Well, it was long ago [Dogs barking, woman screams.]
never to be seen or heard of again.
Oh, I-I mean, not that last part of the story, but the earlier part that's what reminds me of you two.
Clarence: Wow.
[Slowly.]
Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Belson! I should have known you're - not strong enough to lift that thing.
- This is your fault! [Sighs.]
You know, I really thought today would teach you some responsibility, but, clearly, you're just too weak and gummy.
Oh, come here, you "widdle" gummy bear.
[Blam!.]
Ahhh.
Finally! [Gasps.]
[Up-tempo music plays.]
Welcome back, gummy bear! [Laughs.]
Man: Hey, bud, can I join your team? [Music continues.]
Voice: Expired!