Sonic Boom (2014) s01e36 Episode Script
Beyond the Valley of Cubots
Grr! "Habeas Corpus.
" "Due process.
" Oops.
"Authorization to clean desk.
" [clears throat.]
Ready for the fishing trip, old bean? No, no, no.
Too much approving to do.
The town bylaws won't stamp themselves.
"Self-Stamping Prohibition Act.
" See? If only there was someone to cover for me.
I say, if only there was someone to cover for me So we can get the story started! This is an outrage, a travesty, a plukey plok! -"A plukey plok"? -I made that last one up.
Rule of threes, Your Majesty.
Anyway, I'd like this important law passed.
[clears throat.]
"Henceforth, peanut butter and pickles shall ne'er be packaged in separate containers as they inevitably wind up in the same sandwich.
" I can help you with this, but in exchange, I'll need something from you.
Are you prepared to do your civic duty? [chuckles.]
You said "civic.
" Yes.
Citizen Knuckles, I need you to stamp these laws with the mayoral seal between now and, say, 5:30, -when the fish stop biting.
-I'm in! Who's in charge here? I guess I am.
[sleepy sigh.]
-[drilling.]
-Huh? Argh! Hey! Hey! What are you doing? The mayor's office just approved construction of a new mall.
See? [incoherent imprecations.]
Next! [stamping.]
Next! [stamping.]
Next! [stamping.]
Next! With whom do I speak about adding a new wing to the library? With meem! Approved! By the way, I believe the proper pronunciation is li-berry.
I'd like approval for a parade through town to celebrate my half birthday! Half birthday approved.
I think this village should have moving sidewalks.
I don't know.
Do you want to live in a world without moving sidewalks? Excellent argument.
Approved! [stamping continues.]
Hey, Knucks.
Uh, why are you in the mayor's office -stamping bills into law? -I'm doing my civic duty.
-[chuckles.]
-Oh, grow up, Sonic.
[giggles.]
"Civic.
" -Who's in charge here? -I am! And I'm doing a good job, too.
See? You approved building a new mall next to my burrow? -On my land? -Sticks, Sticks, Sticks.
I approve lots of things, next to lots of burrows, on lots of people's lands.
I can't keep track of all of 'em! Your recklessness is destroying my home! Sticks, don't worry.
You know someone on the inside now! Just write up a proposition and I'll ram it through.
Gah! Politics has corrupted you! I'm bringing you down, Knuckles! -You and your goons! -Me? What did I do? [incoherent imprecations.]
The trash should've been picked up! Where's that garbage man? I want to take a few months off.
See the trash in other countries, maybe get some fancy foreign coveralls.
What's the worst that could happen? See? No consequences! I can't keep looking at this stack of failed inventions.
It's bad enough looking at you two! Must every random observation circle back to insult us? It's not you.
I'm just frustrated about the trash situation, you idiots! Apology accepted.
That's it! I'm going to City Hall! You lug nuts wait here.
We need to stop Knuckles and get government out of our lives! What has government ever done for us? Maintain the fire department.
Can't say that's a bad idea.
-[murmurs of assent.]
-Well, yeah, that's true.
-There's also the sewer system.
-[murmurs of assent.]
Yeah, I definitely don't want that responsibility.
And have you tried those new moving sidewalks? Pretty sweet! You can make all the good arguments you want, but don't come cryin' to me when Knuckles gets his pudgy government fingers all over your lives.
Next! Whatcha got? Well, it's kind of a long list.
No time to read a list.
Approved! Next! Hey, Knurples! What's with the trash collection? -You've -Sorry, there's a lot of people waiting.
You'll have to take a number.
It's out of numbers.
You need to fill out a complaint form.
-Can I get one? -I'd love to help you.
-Take a number.
-Grr.
I have a request to shout "Woo-hoo!" in a public place.
Approved! Woo-hoo! That was the high point of my life.
Move it, pal! I got permission to build my house right here! And I got permission to build my tunnel right here! Outta the way! I got a permit to build my lemonade factory here! We better go sort this mess out.
I'd like to check this one out.
Impossible.
Thanks to the Organised Bookshelf Act it's now illegal to check out books.
Finally I have protection from people who think books are for reading and not for sitting neatly in a row on the shelf.
[groans.]
[grunts.]
My ice cream! Why? Why did the village reverse its ban on flammable frozen treats? Ooh! It's not moving! I'm stuck! Just walk! Use your legs! My taxes paid for moving sidewalks.
No way I'm using my legs! [grunts.]
[arguing.]
That red imbecile has done more damage to this village in a few hours than I've done in years with my ingenious, worthwhile, and well-executed plans! Knubbles must be stopped! Much as I hate to say it, Eggman, we're with you! Now we need a plan.
You gotta outlaw peanut butter and pickle sandwiches! If people realise they can get cheap, barely edible food outside of Meh Burger, I'm out of a job! Look at you.
You who were once so proud.
Go now and never return! I see what's going on here.
You're in the pocket of Big Peanut Butter and Pickles.
Ow! Is there any chance you could stamp some sort of universal healthcare law? OK, Knuckles, I order you to stand down.
Lower the stamp and back away from the desk.
-No.
-Well, I'm out of ideas.
I'm not! It's now illegal to use your finger to activate a weapon.
Grr! Ow! Any chance I can get in on that universal healthcare? No boomerangs! No hammers! No inventions! No spin attacks! No mayonnaise! Knuckles, you've gone mad with power! Oh, really? Well, would someone mad with power approve a law giving himself ultimate authority over everything? That's the dictionary definition of "mad with power!" I wish I could corroborate that, but it's illegal to check books out of the liberry.
Huh? Nice try, Knuckles, but I'm afraid your stamp is out of ink.
[groans.]
Nice work! Now destroy the stamp! -Eggman? -I'm afraid there's been a slight change of plans.
With this stamp, I now rule the village! First order of business? Strip waste management of all vacation time! [evil laugh.]
Au contraire, mi amigo.
Any change to waste management requires form 48C-13.
And where do I find that? You'll have to take a number.
[grunts.]
Find me that form! [battle cry.]
I believe I outlawed those weapons.
Knuckles, you gotta let us fight! Or else Eggman's trash will be collected in a timely fashion? Wait, why are we fighting this? Because he picked my stamp up off the ground and seized absolute power! [battle cry.]
Grr! Huh? Aha! Now to get some ink.
Where's my octopus bot? Right here, boss! [laughs.]
Ah! Look what you've done! You've created more trash that won't get hauled away.
Ah, it's always good to get away for a few hours.
What the ? Sorry about the mess.
But you know how it is, being mayor, stamping everything that comes across your desk, regardless of its merits.
You have no idea how happy we are to see you, sir.
Any chance I can get my trash collected? Take a number.
[sighs.]
" "Due process.
" Oops.
"Authorization to clean desk.
" [clears throat.]
Ready for the fishing trip, old bean? No, no, no.
Too much approving to do.
The town bylaws won't stamp themselves.
"Self-Stamping Prohibition Act.
" See? If only there was someone to cover for me.
I say, if only there was someone to cover for me So we can get the story started! This is an outrage, a travesty, a plukey plok! -"A plukey plok"? -I made that last one up.
Rule of threes, Your Majesty.
Anyway, I'd like this important law passed.
[clears throat.]
"Henceforth, peanut butter and pickles shall ne'er be packaged in separate containers as they inevitably wind up in the same sandwich.
" I can help you with this, but in exchange, I'll need something from you.
Are you prepared to do your civic duty? [chuckles.]
You said "civic.
" Yes.
Citizen Knuckles, I need you to stamp these laws with the mayoral seal between now and, say, 5:30, -when the fish stop biting.
-I'm in! Who's in charge here? I guess I am.
[sleepy sigh.]
-[drilling.]
-Huh? Argh! Hey! Hey! What are you doing? The mayor's office just approved construction of a new mall.
See? [incoherent imprecations.]
Next! [stamping.]
Next! [stamping.]
Next! [stamping.]
Next! With whom do I speak about adding a new wing to the library? With meem! Approved! By the way, I believe the proper pronunciation is li-berry.
I'd like approval for a parade through town to celebrate my half birthday! Half birthday approved.
I think this village should have moving sidewalks.
I don't know.
Do you want to live in a world without moving sidewalks? Excellent argument.
Approved! [stamping continues.]
Hey, Knucks.
Uh, why are you in the mayor's office -stamping bills into law? -I'm doing my civic duty.
-[chuckles.]
-Oh, grow up, Sonic.
[giggles.]
"Civic.
" -Who's in charge here? -I am! And I'm doing a good job, too.
See? You approved building a new mall next to my burrow? -On my land? -Sticks, Sticks, Sticks.
I approve lots of things, next to lots of burrows, on lots of people's lands.
I can't keep track of all of 'em! Your recklessness is destroying my home! Sticks, don't worry.
You know someone on the inside now! Just write up a proposition and I'll ram it through.
Gah! Politics has corrupted you! I'm bringing you down, Knuckles! -You and your goons! -Me? What did I do? [incoherent imprecations.]
The trash should've been picked up! Where's that garbage man? I want to take a few months off.
See the trash in other countries, maybe get some fancy foreign coveralls.
What's the worst that could happen? See? No consequences! I can't keep looking at this stack of failed inventions.
It's bad enough looking at you two! Must every random observation circle back to insult us? It's not you.
I'm just frustrated about the trash situation, you idiots! Apology accepted.
That's it! I'm going to City Hall! You lug nuts wait here.
We need to stop Knuckles and get government out of our lives! What has government ever done for us? Maintain the fire department.
Can't say that's a bad idea.
-[murmurs of assent.]
-Well, yeah, that's true.
-There's also the sewer system.
-[murmurs of assent.]
Yeah, I definitely don't want that responsibility.
And have you tried those new moving sidewalks? Pretty sweet! You can make all the good arguments you want, but don't come cryin' to me when Knuckles gets his pudgy government fingers all over your lives.
Next! Whatcha got? Well, it's kind of a long list.
No time to read a list.
Approved! Next! Hey, Knurples! What's with the trash collection? -You've -Sorry, there's a lot of people waiting.
You'll have to take a number.
It's out of numbers.
You need to fill out a complaint form.
-Can I get one? -I'd love to help you.
-Take a number.
-Grr.
I have a request to shout "Woo-hoo!" in a public place.
Approved! Woo-hoo! That was the high point of my life.
Move it, pal! I got permission to build my house right here! And I got permission to build my tunnel right here! Outta the way! I got a permit to build my lemonade factory here! We better go sort this mess out.
I'd like to check this one out.
Impossible.
Thanks to the Organised Bookshelf Act it's now illegal to check out books.
Finally I have protection from people who think books are for reading and not for sitting neatly in a row on the shelf.
[groans.]
[grunts.]
My ice cream! Why? Why did the village reverse its ban on flammable frozen treats? Ooh! It's not moving! I'm stuck! Just walk! Use your legs! My taxes paid for moving sidewalks.
No way I'm using my legs! [grunts.]
[arguing.]
That red imbecile has done more damage to this village in a few hours than I've done in years with my ingenious, worthwhile, and well-executed plans! Knubbles must be stopped! Much as I hate to say it, Eggman, we're with you! Now we need a plan.
You gotta outlaw peanut butter and pickle sandwiches! If people realise they can get cheap, barely edible food outside of Meh Burger, I'm out of a job! Look at you.
You who were once so proud.
Go now and never return! I see what's going on here.
You're in the pocket of Big Peanut Butter and Pickles.
Ow! Is there any chance you could stamp some sort of universal healthcare law? OK, Knuckles, I order you to stand down.
Lower the stamp and back away from the desk.
-No.
-Well, I'm out of ideas.
I'm not! It's now illegal to use your finger to activate a weapon.
Grr! Ow! Any chance I can get in on that universal healthcare? No boomerangs! No hammers! No inventions! No spin attacks! No mayonnaise! Knuckles, you've gone mad with power! Oh, really? Well, would someone mad with power approve a law giving himself ultimate authority over everything? That's the dictionary definition of "mad with power!" I wish I could corroborate that, but it's illegal to check books out of the liberry.
Huh? Nice try, Knuckles, but I'm afraid your stamp is out of ink.
[groans.]
Nice work! Now destroy the stamp! -Eggman? -I'm afraid there's been a slight change of plans.
With this stamp, I now rule the village! First order of business? Strip waste management of all vacation time! [evil laugh.]
Au contraire, mi amigo.
Any change to waste management requires form 48C-13.
And where do I find that? You'll have to take a number.
[grunts.]
Find me that form! [battle cry.]
I believe I outlawed those weapons.
Knuckles, you gotta let us fight! Or else Eggman's trash will be collected in a timely fashion? Wait, why are we fighting this? Because he picked my stamp up off the ground and seized absolute power! [battle cry.]
Grr! Huh? Aha! Now to get some ink.
Where's my octopus bot? Right here, boss! [laughs.]
Ah! Look what you've done! You've created more trash that won't get hauled away.
Ah, it's always good to get away for a few hours.
What the ? Sorry about the mess.
But you know how it is, being mayor, stamping everything that comes across your desk, regardless of its merits.
You have no idea how happy we are to see you, sir.
Any chance I can get my trash collected? Take a number.
[sighs.]