TaleSpin (1990) s01e36 Episode Script

1
- [thunderclap]
- [man chuckling]
Spin it!
[men vocalizing]
Let's begin it.
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- TaleSpin
- Ohh-ee-yo
- TaleSpin
Friends for life
through thick and thin
With another tale to spin
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- TaleSpin
- Ohh-ee-yo
- TaleSpin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
[men vocalizing]
Spin it, my friend.
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- Ohh-ee-yeh
- Ohh-ee-yo
- Ohh-ee-yo
- Ohh-ee-yeh, ohh-ee-yo
- Ohh-ee-yeh, ohh-ee-yo
[rapid vocalizing]
Spin it, let's begin it
Bear 'n grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
When you spin it, spin it, spin it
So spin it!
TaleSpin! ♪
[loud snoring]
[crash]
[Rebecca] Baloo!
How come every time I see you,
you're lying down on the job?
- Who's lying down?
- You are.
[Rebecca] What do you call your
lunch-hour lounge act under the wing?
[splash]
Testing pontoons for stability.
[Rebecca] And this morning's
rest stop in the warehouse?
Oh, Baloo, you're not lying
down on the job.
You're lying about lying down
on the job. Look!
You've let that stuff
pile up for days.
'Cause you've been working me too hard.
Oh, Becky, I need a vacation.
You won't get one by lying.
- Would I get one by telling the truth?
- I don't know. Try it.
- OK. Can I have two weeks off?
- No!
[door slams]
[Baloo] The nerve. What makes her think
she can boss me around?
Let's see because she is the boss?
I don't need facts.
I need ideas how to get a vacation.
Guys, keep it down.
I'm trying to find Got it!
[man] From the frigid rings of Saturn
to the eerie moons of Mars.
With death rays blazing
and monsters grazing,
it's time for another amazing adventure
with Space Riders!
- What is that?
- My favorite radio show. See?
These guys fly around in spaceships
and fight aliens and stuff.
Bingo! This is how I'm gonna make
Rebecca give me a vacation.
Without her even knowing it.
Wildcat, old buddy,
- you're about to become a genius.
- Really?
[door opens]
Guten Tag, bonjour
and how you doing?
What are you doing in that?
You have me confused
with someone entirely not myself.
- I'm Dr. Svenfully Gesundheit, BVD.
- You mean Ph.D.
Oh, that too. I'm a
- I'm I'm a
- [Baloo whispering] Rocket scientist.
Rocket scientist.
And I have invented a super-duper fuel
that will turn any airplane
into a spacey-ship.
- You're not serious.
- I am.
I wish to hire
your famous, heroic pilot, Baloo,
to make a historical
first flight to the planet Mars.
[groans] I don't believe this.
My plane's nearly packed, Rebecca
- Hello.
- Um, Dr. Gesundheit,
this is Baloo,
or have you two already met?
- Us? Never.
- Nein. Nyet.
Dr. Gesundheit wants you
to fly the Sea Duck to Mars.
Isn't that interesting?
Gosh! Wouldn't that be
an awfully long trip?
[coughs]
Oh, ja. About
two weeks.
Gee, I don't know.
Got a lot of work to do around here.
But think of all the free publicity.
[groans]
Oh! Free publicity!
Why didn't I see it before?
Oh, Baloo, please?
- Well
- Please?
- If you insist.
- I insist.
Now, you two work out the details
and I'll stay here and get all
- goose-bumpy.
- Well, uh OK.
- Come on, doc.
- Bye. So long.
Auf Wiedersehen.
[laughs] She bought it.
He thinks I bought it.
He wants to play games, we'll play.
And this radio puts us in contact
with the Space Duck, okey-dokey?
Well, it's hokey, anyway.
[doors creak open]
[groans]
Pilot and co-pilot, ready to take off.
Oh, Baloo! I want you to know
that whatever happens,
- I'll think of you every minute.
- You will?
Constantly.
You're simply the most bravest pilot
I've ever met!
Oh, gee! I ought to do
this hero stuff more often.
Oh, I better go have a last word
with Dr. Gesundheit.
- Where are you going?
- Home?
- Wrong.
- Sure looks like home.
Yeah, Wildcat's home. But for the next
two weeks, you're a rocket scientist,
no matter what!
Rocket scientist, no matter what!
- Oh, and Wildcat.
- Yeah?
Oh, I mean, Wildcat?
I am Dr. Gesundheit, rocket scientist.
And don't you forget it.
Three, two, one, blasterooni!
[fireworks exploding]
Lake Flaccid, here we come.
Hey, Kit, get set for two weeks of fun!
Get set for two weeks of misery.
- [crackling fire]
- [birds whistling in the distance]
- Man, that was easy.
- Yeah, too easy.
[radio static]
[Wildcat] Earth to Space Duck.
Dr. Gesundheit calling.
- You're late. You!
- What's he bugging me for?
This better be real important
to be interrupting a guy's vacation.
Ix-nay on the vacation speaking.
Hello, Baloo!
Rebecca calling!
You know, from Earth.
- Can you hear me out there?
- Oh, swell.
I know you're real busy,
steering around asteroids and all that,
but we're dying to know what
it's like in space. Right, doctor?
- Ja, dying.
- Well, it's dark.
Real dark. I can't see a thing.
- Except millions of stars.
- Except for a whole mess of stars.
- And, say, I can see Saturn.
- The moon.
Oh, I mean the moon.
I always get those two mixed up.
Well, gotta run.
Heading into a meteor bath.
- Shower!
- Shower! Space Duck signing off.
[laughs]
- [radio static]
- Baloo!
- [crash]
- What?
Yeah? I mean, Space Duck to Earth.
Come in.
Hi!
Just checking to see
if you've landed on Mars yet.
Yeah, and it's bedtime here.
[Rebecca] Oh, but who could sleep
at a historical moment like this?
You should be out exploring,
collecting specimens.
Don't you dare come back without
a cargo hold full of plants, animals,
and oodles of Martian rocks.
While I have you
- [fire crackling]
- [owl hooting]
[sighs] I need a vacation
from this vacation.
Does this look anything
like a Martian rabbit?
- [yawns] Needs another eye or two.
- [Rebecca] Baloo!
- Yeah, Becky.
- Another thing I forgot.
Mars has polar caps, right?
So do be a dear and dig up some snow.
Oh, come on, Baloo.
She's on to us.
- Let's fess up and face the music.
- Hey, I'm calling the tune here.
And I'm about to play the finale.
Why, sure, RC.
In fact, I see some [gasps]
Kit! Look at that!
- What?
- It's a Martian!
Why, look at those eyes!
Oh, those claws! Those teeth!
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Gosh! Oh, here it comes!
[deep voice] You have invaded Mars!
This means war!
Earthling worms!
[cackling]
[Baloo growling]
Kit, look out!
- [imitates explosions]
- [screams]
[Kit] Oh, no! They're shooting
death rays!
Run for your life!
- [evil laughing]
- [fizzing]
[Baloo] No! They zapped all the rocks
I collected for Becky.
Oh, no! Now, they zapped Kit!
[screams and coughs]
There are zillions of them. They're
dripping slime all over the place.
Oh, no! I'm surrounded!
Mayday! Mayday!
[imitates bomb dropping]
- [panting]
- [Kit laughing]
- Boy, you die good.
- Ain't it the truth?
Now there's no way
she can ruin my vacation.
Sounds like the line's dead
and so is your pilot. Oh, well.
Nobody move!
OK, relax. But not much.
- Who do you think you are?
- I don't have to think.
I'm Colonel Grog, Army Intelligence.
Sacre bleu!
You can say that again, Sven. I've
monitored your pilot's transmissions.
- I'm taking over this operation.
- What operation?
Preparing for the invasion from Mars.
- What invasion? This is just a game.
- Wrong, sister.
This is no game. This is real!
This is war!
- But there is no Martian invasion.
- Lady, I know what I heard.
[Baloo]dripping slime
all over the place.
Oh, no! I'm surrounded!
Mayday! Mayday!
Poor guy. Never had a chance.
Say something!
Uh, does that work on batteries?
Excuse us.
Wildcat, where is Baloo?
Wildcat? I am Dr. Gesundheit,
rocket scientist, no matter what.
Be calm. Be cool.
OK, where is Baloo, doctor?
- Can't tell you.
- Why not?
- Promised.
- What if I guess?
- OK.
- He's at Louie's.
Not at Louie's. Uh, give me a clue.
Beach?
River?
Lake! A lake! Which lake?
Starts with an "F." Lake Fairoh.
Lake Forsythe.
- Lake Flaccid?
- On the nosey. Yay!
Lake Flaccid, huh? The colonel and I
are gonna pay Baloo a little visit.
That worm's gonna squirm.
Worms? That mean
we get to go fishing too?
After consulting with Dr. Gesundheit,
I have important information
to pass to you.
Great!
[click]
Hey! I caught something!
Just catch it quietly.
[Rebecca] We wanna do everything
we can to stop those awful Martians.
OK. No more Mr. Nice Bear.
- Shh! Listen!
- Wild I mean, Dr. Gesundheit
has triangulated on the Martian signals.
Right, doctor?
Uh, yeah. I strangulated
I triambu
What she said.
So I can take you to the
Martian landing site: Lake Flaccid.
She knows where we are!
Thank you, ma'am. Remember,
tell no one about the Martian invasion.
Martian invasion?
It'll be our little secret.
Good soldier. Now go wait in my Jeep.
I've gotta make a call.
Coming, doctor?
Oh, that's just dandy.
That gal is determined
to ruin my vacation.
- What'd I do to her?
- Well, you lied a lot.
Besides that.
Oh, baby!
Gettin' me an idea.
Hmm, fireworks, party supplies,
guacamole
That's it!
The lady wants Martians,
the lady's gonna get Martians.
[phone ringing]
- Hello?
- General Tumult, sir!
- Colonel Grog reporting, sir!
- Grog?
- Do you know what time it is?
- 0200, sir!
- But I have vital information.
- [groans] Another invasion, Grog?
What planet are they
from this time, Mars?
[gasps] Sir! How did you know?
- Call it a lucky guess!
- Sir, I need tanks.
I need planes. I need infantry!
- I need proof!
- But general, sir
You are not gonna
make me look stupid again, Grog!
- Got that?
- I'll get you proof, all right.
I'm gonna bag myself a Martian.
[muffled scream]
Those Martians are in
for the shock of their lives.
You don't know the half of it.
Now, colonel,
suppose this whole thing was a hoax.
Think you might chew out
whoever did it?
- You bet your nose, lady.
- Good.
I'd throw them in jail, along with
anybody else who was in on the plot.
- Jail?
- Faking an invasion is a crime.
Anybody pulls that on the Army,
they pay big.
Think I better tell him
that I'm not a rocket scientist?
And have us all wind up in the slammer?
You're a rocket scientist,
no matter what.
I wish somebody would
make up their mind.
One space invasion coming up.
[panting] We got company!
I don't know. It's quiet. Too quiet.
Um, colonel, suppose there
were no Martians.
You wouldn't be terribly disappointed,
would you?
[whirring]
- [saw whirring]
- [fireworks exploding]
I don't believe he's doing this.
It's finally happened!
Man's first contact
with life on another planet.
It's wonderful! It's beautiful!
Let's fry the slime buckets!
[both scream]
I bet that sent Becky packing.
Oh, man!
[explosion]
- Is this us leaving?
- Right the first time.
[Rebecca] Don't shoot!
It's all a mistake!
Wake up and smell the war paint, lady!
They want to dice up our livestock
and shanghai our women.
- I gotta find Baloo.
- Eat lead, scumballs!
[screaming]
If Baloo lives through this,
I'm gonna kill him.
[clicking]
Hey, where'd the lady go?
Ach my Lederhosen. All of a sudden,
Fraulein Rebecca just disappeared.
Scheming Martian devils. Come on!
- Baloo!
- Come out and fight,
you drool-dripping dirtbags!
Now see what your lying got us into?
You're the one who lied to GI Schmoe!
Yeah, but you lied to me first,
so I had to lie to you
- to teach you the truth about lying!
- Hey!
This lady has potential.
You're both nuts.
Look, I got a plan
to get us out of here.
- But I'll need your help.
- Doing what?
What else? Lying.
[car approaching]
[tires squeal]
I hate it when that happens.
[woman screaming]
OK. What was that?
[screaming]
The Martians! Run!
Lady, wait! My gun!
[growling and sputtering]
The Martians! Doc, talk to him! Quick!
Uh, hello.
Hi. Welcome to Earth.
How was your trip?
[both screaming]
Wow! So you guys were eaten
by the Martians.
No, there never were any
Oh, I'll explain later.
[cackling and laughing]
Oh, no!
It's got a horrible,
flesh-melting ooze gun.
- Ooze gun?
- Ooze gun.
Colonel, my foot's caught. Run!
Save yourself! I'm doomed!
[screams and grunts]
[coughing]
Boy! She dies as good as you do.
Told you she had potential.
You are next, Earth scum!
No! No!
Bet he runs all the way to Cape Suzette.
But he'll be back. With reinforcements.
[sniffs] Oh!
I better clean off this guacamole.
I kind of like you in green.
This better not be another one
of your daydreams, Grog.
It was real! The horror, the carnage!
- Campers!
- Campers?
Halt! Are these the people
you were talking about?
[stammers] But the Martians got 'em.
[all] Martians?
Yes. They sprayed you
with their flesh-melting ooze gun.
And they ate you alive.
Is it later yet?
You guys wanna explain how I?
- Uncle Wildcat.
- Did you, uh
notice any unusual
activity last night?
You notice anything, honeylips?
Not a thing, butterball.
Sorry to have bothered you folks.
Move out, men!
Private Grog's been hallucinating again.
Private? Oh, Uncle Bucky,
I was a private last time.
You said I could be a lieutenant.
I told you never to call me that
in front of the men.
- We make a great team, eh, Becky?
- No, we don't.
That was the act of a desperate woman.
Thanks to you,
- I'm gonna hate myself tomorrow.
- How come?
'Cause you made me lie!
I know. I'm sorry.
But, man, you were great.
I think you've earned a vacation.
Well, I suppose one day off
wouldn't hurt.
Becky, there's hope for you yet.
And that's no lie.
TaleSpin
TaleSpin
[men vocalizing]
Another tale to spin
TaleSpin
TaleSpin
[vocalizing]
Another tale to spin
[men vocalizing]
[man chuckling]
TaleSpin ♪