Gintama (2005) s01e37 Episode Script
People Who Say that Santa Doesn't Really Exist Actually Want to Believe in Him / Prayer Won't Make Your Worldly Desires Go Away! Control Yourself
Please turn the lights on in your room and don't get too close to the TV when watching the show.
[Even though it's already over, please pretend it's Christmas while watching this episode.
.]
[Then please pretend it's New Year's Eve while watching the next episode.
.]
["People Who Say that Santa Doesn't Really Exist Actually Want to Believe in Him".]
Why do I have to come all the way over here on such a cold night? [Note: Nikuman = steamed meat bun.
And anman = bean-paste bun.
.]
And it's so frustrating having to visit so many stores just to find Nikuman.
I should've bought some Anman for myself.
I don't even like Nikum Man, they're all messed up.
Man, it's all messed up.
How could you do this to me?! This is all your fault! You wrecked my sleigh! Now I can't do anything this year! And it's all thanks to you! It's your own fault, you old fart! We agreed that you'd get off the sleigh whenever we went downhill! I wasn't pulling the sleigh; I was being chased by it! It bashed up my Achilles heels! I'm all bloody! Then why didn't you run faster?! Are you a reindeer or a turtle?! Your dad was awesome! He led the sleigh like a pro, even when we were on hills.
He was a real reindeer! You sound like you liked my dad, but when he was at home he only said bad things about you! It's the truth, you know! You liar.
Carl and I were like brothers! Why, I rarely even had to use the whip on him.
Seriously, he hated your guts.
His last words were, "His beard is actually brown"!! Bastard! Not so loud! I'll get in trouble if anyone finds out I dye my beard white for Christmas! You're the one broadcasting it! Hey, hey! Settle down.
What are you guys doing? Shut up! Ow! What the hell are you doing?! Cut it out, you two.
It's the middle of the night.
People are trying to sleep.
I don't know what happened, but Well, you beat us up Come on, let's have a drink.
By the way, who are you? Sake helps facilitate communication between people.
It's kind of like a social lubricant.
I think Tokugawa Ieyasu said something like that, but I could be wrong.
[Note: Oden = ingredients in soup.]
Hey buddy, heat up three bottles of sake and some oden.
Give whiskers here the check.
Yes, sir.
Me, have whiskers?! What am I, a cat?! Here you go.
I ought to shave them off.
So tell me why you two were arguing.
Who are you guys anyway? Are you deliverymen or something? Well It's obvious who we are.
Well, it's against the rules for me to say too much, but we drive a sleigh and make children's dreams come true.
Like a benevolent thief? Yeah, yeah sort of And my name starts with "Sa.
" "Sa"? Satan? Close! But it has a far better meaning! I know it's none of my business, but I think I have the answer.
You know what I mean The hint is hanging between his legs.
What?! What kind of hint is that? What kind of answer is that? [Sankon, a former diplomat of the Republic of Guinea appeared on many comedy TV shows in Japan.
In this case, just a pun of "San".]
It doesn't matter if it's Sankon or Santa.
That's it! One of those was the right answer.
So, you're an old man who rides a sleigh at midnight and does something to children, right? Right but not quite the way you described it I see.
I know it's none of my business, but I think I have the answer.
They ride around in a sleigh and expose their private parts to people.
That's not what I said! You may look like a gentleman, but you have a filthy mind!! Presents! Presents! I ride in a sleigh and deliver presents to good children.
That's my job.
But my sleigh was wrecked, so Can't you do your job without a sleigh? Absolutely not! The sleigh, the reindeer and the red outfit are my trademarks! It would shatter people's perception of me if I didn't have them! I'm an icon! Reindeer? He looks like a monster.
I don't know, but it seems like you're in a fix.
Do you need help? Here's my card.
I do anything for my clients.
We're "Odd Jobs.
" I'll help you out, for a price.
What?! What can you do? Can you get us a sleigh right now? No problem.
Hop in.
We can't get on that! Its previous occupant is still in it! Huh? You can see him? He's just "Cardboard" O-san.
He's an elf that only the pure of heart can see.
He can see you, too! He's glaring right at you! We said we needed a sleigh! This is a two-wheeled cart.
It's not a two-wheeled cart.
It's my home! Oh, sorry.
Don't worry about the little details.
Sleigh, two-wheeled cart-same thing.
They even sound almost the same.
It's not a two-wheeled cart.
It's my home sweet home! Sorry What's your mission? To make children's dreams come true, right? Take the back-to-basics approach.
You guys remember how to be idealistic, right? What do you know about me?! If you're worried about the image of Santa, I think your gut is the problem.
Anyone who sees it will think, "He's as pot-bellied as my dad," and be disappointed.
It's supposed to be like that.
I'm an inspiration to all plus-sized people.
Red is unflattering on you, too.
It makes you look bigger than you actually are.
Ditch the outfit.
It's ugly.
You'd look better wearing something more chic.
No I said this is one of my three trademarks! No! Hey, if I take off my outfit, I'll just be an old man.
This just isn't right.
No, you look good and chic.
Just as I thought, black makes you look slim and tranquil.
But it also makes me kind of uneasy, like I should go lock up the house real tight for some reason That's because we look like thieves!! Nah, more like one of those trendy hipster dads.
These days, throwing a leather jacket on an old geezer makes him look sexy, even if he's about to croak.
There's nothing hip about this! I look like a grave robber!! And you're wearing my outfit! Hey, give it back, right now! Please! I want to look cool in red this winter! You already look cool! You'd look even cooler without my outfit on.
Let's start here.
This is a poor residential area, so we should help these people.
Oh, no! If we get caught, it's all over.
We'll be reported.
We haven't done anything bad, so why is my heart beating so fast? So, who should we start with? I'm not visiting any spoiled kids who asked for something like a Nintendo DS or PlayStation.
[Note: Kendama is a wooden toy with a ball on a string.
You try to get the ball to land on a spike on the handle.
.]
Let's start with the appreciative kids who only ask for a kendama.
Do you really think you're qualified to make children's dreams come true? Kids today don't want simple stuff like that.
Ah I found someone! Yuri Tsukishima-chan.
It's hard to find a kid like her these days [A kendama and a sweet mother.
.]
A-A motheris kinda difficult Yuri-chan I wonder if her mom died Ben, don't say that! It's against the rules to make two wishes.
She won't get anything that way! How about the others? Does anybody wish they had something like a kendama? Why are you insisting on a kendama? Well, I brought lots of kendama toys because I thought it would be all the rage.
But I was wrong.
I was right about last year's Korean star boom in Japan though.
What kind of presents did you give to children during the Korean star boom?! Hey, there might be a kendama boom after all.
[A kendama and wings to fly into the future.
.]
I want that, too.
Who's next? Who wants a kendama? Forget about the kendama! Shut up.
Hey, I don't have anything else, but kendama this year! So we have to find children who want a kendama! You're just an old man who hands out kendama as presents! All right, let's see Here we go! [We played kendama all summer together I'll never forget that summer.
.]
He's talking about a toy here, right? How old is this little sicko? Damn it! We were too loud! You're speaking too loud! Agh! And so am I! Let's get out of here! Ah Look over there! Yuri-chan! Yuri-chan wished for a "kendama and a sweet mom.
" She's expecting you to make her Christmas wishes come true.
Oh, boy She wrote "a kendama and a sweet mom.
" That means she really wants a kendama.
She might have special memories of it, or something We can't do anything about her mom, but a kendama You should do it Yuri-chan! Mom, thieves! Um Mom?! Mom What? Please return to your sweet mom self! The sun is rising, Ben And we didn't even make one child's wish come true yet.
This year was the worst.
Let's go to the last house, Ben.
We can't go home like this.
Let's pick a child whose family is so poor that the only toys they get are from the Dollar Store.
Then we can bask in that one child's joy and go home.
Odd Jobs-san, please.
I already said there's no such kid in this age of gluttony.
[Steamed pork bun.]
[Odd Jobs Gin.]
I'm really sorry.
No problem.
Besides, you're very lucky to have a child who likes cheap things.
Oh? Where is she? I feel like I'm finally doing my Santa work.
You should look at yourself in the mirror.
You're a thief, nothing but a thief.
Hey! Oh? She's sleeping under the kotatsu.
[Note: Kotatsu is a low table with an electric foot warmer underneath it, covered by a quilt.
.]
What's this? Why are we doing something like Neoki Dokkiri? [Note: Neoki Dokkiri is an old TV show where the crew visits someone's house and films them waking up.
.]
A snot bubble! Why are these guys so excited? Hey, let me do it.
What are you doing? What about my steamed pork bun?! She's dreaming! Dreaming! Shoot! Gotta get out of here The Abyss gate is calling me! Let go! You let go of me! Oops, I fell asleep under the kotatsu! Steamed pork buns! Gin-chan kept his promise to buy me steamed pork buns! Yummy! ["Prayer Won't Make Your Worldly Desires Go Away! Control Yourself".]
O-le, O-le.
Katoken samba! O-le! Kagura-chan, that's enough.
Do you want hot oden all over your face? Right now, I am bald under this wig There's nothing like watching the Red and White Song Festival while sitting at the kotatsu, Sis.
[Note: The "Red and White Song Festival" is an annual singing competition that is broadcast every New Year's Eve.
.]
Agreed.
When dad was alive, the three of us used to enjoy sitting at the kotatsu.
By the way, Gin-san is late.
He went out to buy the JUMP double issue.
I wonder if he had an accident and lost his memory again.
He's probably having double fun with a girl.
Leave him be.
Your baldness caused by stress [Note: Chikuwa is fish sausage.
One of the ingredients in Oden.
.]
Kagura-chan, you want hot chikuwa shoved in your nose? Eh? What? It's the JUMP double issue.
JUMP double issue.
Eh? JUMP double issue? JUMP double issue? Good grief.
There's only one left What should we do? I've already been to seven or eight convenience stores already.
Everyone's free during the holiday season, so they are all sold out.
Yeah? Well, I've been to ten convenience stores.
Oh, if I include this one, I've actually been to 15 stores.
Well, my little boy, Hiroshi really wants JUMP.
Hiroshi is my son and only 5 years old.
My mom really wants it, too.
She's sick.
I wonder if she'll see it through the year In fact, I'm sure she won't.
Well, Hiroshi is also going to die.
Hiroshi is going to die? Well I want to make his last moments happy.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
What? Does Hiroshi really want JUMP? JUMP has really gone downhill recently.
I think this one is better.
[Dirty Girls.]
Well Hiroshi is only five years old.
Well but Hiroshi might like this I should buy it Not for me, just for Hiroshi.
Welcome.
Hey, wait a minute! That's not fair! Hiroshi is too young for JUMP.
That one is better for him.
He's too young for this! Honestly, there is no Hiroshi.
Hiroshi doesn't exist! Idiot! You're the idiot! I don't have a mom who is dying, either! Stupid! Idiot! Here's the money! You're killing me! You ought be ashamed of yourself reading JUMP at your age!! Do you have a Peter Pan complex?! No fairy will come for you! Um They curse you behind your back.
And who are you to talk, you pathetic JUMP fan you?! Reading JUMP on New Year's Eve! Excuse me Excuse me, but neither of you have enough money.
Money.
Not enough.
Unless you combine your funds.
Your decision.
Normally, New Year's Eve is a time to get wild and cut loose.
But we have a duty to defend Edo.
So tonight restrict yourself to one glass.
Just know that I'm proud of youand of your restraint.
Thank you for all your hard work this year! Cheers! You could use some restraint! They're hopeless Aw, c'mon! It's New Year's! Everything's informal, Hijikata.
But you behave informal every day.
Oh, well.
I'm not going to drink tonight, so you guys have a great time.
[Note: Konoyaro means "you bastard".
.]
Is there something worrying you, Hijikata Konoyaro? What's left of the Viper's gang is still out there.
And a bunch of bombs are still missing from that warehouse.
[Snake Killer.]
It's like a pesky snake that still lives even after we cut off its head.
[Oedo Mart.]
I said I'll read this today, and I'll loan it to you tomorrow.
What do you mean "loan it"? I paid for half, too.
Idiot! You bastard! Let me ask you something.
Which part of JUMP do you read? I bet you just read two or three mangas and then dump it, right? But I read all the mangas.
I love JUMP more than you do.
What do you know?! I'm not satisfied with reading only the manga, so I even read the comments of the manga artists at the end.
I even read the lousy editor's comments! I read about the gift winners, and send in a survey postcard every week.
That's nothing! I look over the advertisements for the suspicious mail-order goods on the back.
And, sometimes I even buy them.
Hey, if you don't quit, our issue of JUMP is gonna rip in two.
Damn it! Let's take a timeout.
Take your hands off it for now.
I promise I won't take it.
You take your hands off it first.
Then I'll do it.
Be an adult! An adult would think about the safety of JUMP! If you take your hands off it, it'll be safe.
All right.
Then let's take our hands off it at the same time.
OK, counting, one, two and three.
Wait! Do we take our hands off at the "t" or the "e" of three? At the "e.
" After the "e.
" At the moment you say "e," or right after you say "e"? Huh? I'm getting confused Oh, let's ask that old lady over there to hold it for us.
I'll bet that old boomerang is your spy.
You paid her to give it right back to you.
If I could pay an old lady, I'd have bought the JUMP! Excuse me, old lady, but could you hold onto this for us? Huh? Well, I understand that you're a bit surprised, but please? Hey Are you guys going to take your hands off it? Hey, hey, cut it out.
Even now, you're not going to take your hands off it?! What are you saying?! I'm all loose and everything.
You're just squeezing it too hard! Hey! Take your hands off it! Gee! You're gonna kill the old lady! Take your hands off it! Why don't you tell her to let go?! [Viper Transportation.]
I see The rest of Viper's gang And What's their plan? Rumor is they're going to attack the terminal.
Let's see I heard they'll attack the terminal with a truck full of justa-something bombs.
I can't believe they're going to do it on New Year's Eve.
What do you think? Will it work? Not a chance.
Why is that? Any Edoite who tries to get anything done tonightis bound to screw it up somehow.
Edo's a party town.
Hey, wait! That JUMP is mine! No! That is my JUMP! Is he a monster?! He's so agile! Sorry, brother! [NOTE: The Oniwabanshu was a group of elite ninjas formed by Yoshimune Tokugawa.
.]
I may not look it, but I used to be a member of the Oniwabanshu.
Hey! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! You're trying to get me killed, aren't you?! I thought I was going to die.
I was almost crying, bastard! I'm the one who nearly died! Hell, my life is still flashing before my eyes! It's flashing because we're on a truck! All right I'll take I won't let you have it! You don't even understand JUMP's three key principles: "Friendship," "Struggle" and "Victory.
" You don't deserve to read it! It's mine! I won't let you have it! "Friendship, Struggle and Victory?" You think you can master those just by reading JUMP? Pathetic! You're just trying to fill the emptiness in your life by reading JUMP.
You use JUMP as a confidence booster.
JUMP shouldn't be used for that purpose! Fine This is the best way for real men.
We'll settle this just as they do in JUMP! Tsk.
I prefer love-comedy manga to battle manga.
But I have no choice.
Sometimes a man must fight for his love! Gintoki Sakata.
Zenzo Hattori.
Now! What? Did I just hear a weird noise? I wonder if the cops know we're here Don't worry, it's New Year's Eve and even cops are partying tonight.
Besides, this truck looks perfectly ordinary, so people will never guess it's equipped with a fearsome bomb.
Edo will soon be a sea of fire.
JUMP Give it back to me! Ka-Kambei! JUMP Give it back to me! "Friendship, Struggle Victory" I don't exactly get it, but Those aren't bad I'll never think of it that way! This JUMP is mine! Big sister, what kind of noise do you hear? Is that a student preparing for his entrance exams by banging his head against the wall? No, Kagura-chan.
That's the sound of businessmen who've been downsized throwing themselves out windows.
Sis What are you teaching her, anyway? It's all right.
When you give a child something to dream for, sometimes you have to lie.
Well, your idea of revenge doesn't leave much room for hope and dreams.
Kagura-chan, that's the New Year's Eve bell.
They ring that bell 108 times on New Year's Eve.
Each time the bell is struck, another desire is struck from your heart, so you can start the new year fresh.
Kagura-chan, your heart is already clean, so you don't need it.
But as people grow up, they become more greedy for things.
Kagura-chan, Shin-chan.
I hope you two don't grow up like that.
Desire leads only to ruin.
J-JUMP is mine Oh? [AKAMARU JUMP.]
Looking at it up close it's just AKAMARU JUMP.
[Preview.]
Heavy snow? The spirit of an Edoite is to enjoy every occasion! The next episode: "Only Children Play in the Snow.
" Let the Kabukicho Snow Festival begin! [Hasegawa-san created this snow statue titled, "Flight.
".]
[Another episode will be: "Eating Ice Cream in Winter Is Awesome.
".]
We're looking forward to continuing the series this year!
[Even though it's already over, please pretend it's Christmas while watching this episode.
.]
[Then please pretend it's New Year's Eve while watching the next episode.
.]
["People Who Say that Santa Doesn't Really Exist Actually Want to Believe in Him".]
Why do I have to come all the way over here on such a cold night? [Note: Nikuman = steamed meat bun.
And anman = bean-paste bun.
.]
And it's so frustrating having to visit so many stores just to find Nikuman.
I should've bought some Anman for myself.
I don't even like Nikum Man, they're all messed up.
Man, it's all messed up.
How could you do this to me?! This is all your fault! You wrecked my sleigh! Now I can't do anything this year! And it's all thanks to you! It's your own fault, you old fart! We agreed that you'd get off the sleigh whenever we went downhill! I wasn't pulling the sleigh; I was being chased by it! It bashed up my Achilles heels! I'm all bloody! Then why didn't you run faster?! Are you a reindeer or a turtle?! Your dad was awesome! He led the sleigh like a pro, even when we were on hills.
He was a real reindeer! You sound like you liked my dad, but when he was at home he only said bad things about you! It's the truth, you know! You liar.
Carl and I were like brothers! Why, I rarely even had to use the whip on him.
Seriously, he hated your guts.
His last words were, "His beard is actually brown"!! Bastard! Not so loud! I'll get in trouble if anyone finds out I dye my beard white for Christmas! You're the one broadcasting it! Hey, hey! Settle down.
What are you guys doing? Shut up! Ow! What the hell are you doing?! Cut it out, you two.
It's the middle of the night.
People are trying to sleep.
I don't know what happened, but Well, you beat us up Come on, let's have a drink.
By the way, who are you? Sake helps facilitate communication between people.
It's kind of like a social lubricant.
I think Tokugawa Ieyasu said something like that, but I could be wrong.
[Note: Oden = ingredients in soup.]
Hey buddy, heat up three bottles of sake and some oden.
Give whiskers here the check.
Yes, sir.
Me, have whiskers?! What am I, a cat?! Here you go.
I ought to shave them off.
So tell me why you two were arguing.
Who are you guys anyway? Are you deliverymen or something? Well It's obvious who we are.
Well, it's against the rules for me to say too much, but we drive a sleigh and make children's dreams come true.
Like a benevolent thief? Yeah, yeah sort of And my name starts with "Sa.
" "Sa"? Satan? Close! But it has a far better meaning! I know it's none of my business, but I think I have the answer.
You know what I mean The hint is hanging between his legs.
What?! What kind of hint is that? What kind of answer is that? [Sankon, a former diplomat of the Republic of Guinea appeared on many comedy TV shows in Japan.
In this case, just a pun of "San".]
It doesn't matter if it's Sankon or Santa.
That's it! One of those was the right answer.
So, you're an old man who rides a sleigh at midnight and does something to children, right? Right but not quite the way you described it I see.
I know it's none of my business, but I think I have the answer.
They ride around in a sleigh and expose their private parts to people.
That's not what I said! You may look like a gentleman, but you have a filthy mind!! Presents! Presents! I ride in a sleigh and deliver presents to good children.
That's my job.
But my sleigh was wrecked, so Can't you do your job without a sleigh? Absolutely not! The sleigh, the reindeer and the red outfit are my trademarks! It would shatter people's perception of me if I didn't have them! I'm an icon! Reindeer? He looks like a monster.
I don't know, but it seems like you're in a fix.
Do you need help? Here's my card.
I do anything for my clients.
We're "Odd Jobs.
" I'll help you out, for a price.
What?! What can you do? Can you get us a sleigh right now? No problem.
Hop in.
We can't get on that! Its previous occupant is still in it! Huh? You can see him? He's just "Cardboard" O-san.
He's an elf that only the pure of heart can see.
He can see you, too! He's glaring right at you! We said we needed a sleigh! This is a two-wheeled cart.
It's not a two-wheeled cart.
It's my home! Oh, sorry.
Don't worry about the little details.
Sleigh, two-wheeled cart-same thing.
They even sound almost the same.
It's not a two-wheeled cart.
It's my home sweet home! Sorry What's your mission? To make children's dreams come true, right? Take the back-to-basics approach.
You guys remember how to be idealistic, right? What do you know about me?! If you're worried about the image of Santa, I think your gut is the problem.
Anyone who sees it will think, "He's as pot-bellied as my dad," and be disappointed.
It's supposed to be like that.
I'm an inspiration to all plus-sized people.
Red is unflattering on you, too.
It makes you look bigger than you actually are.
Ditch the outfit.
It's ugly.
You'd look better wearing something more chic.
No I said this is one of my three trademarks! No! Hey, if I take off my outfit, I'll just be an old man.
This just isn't right.
No, you look good and chic.
Just as I thought, black makes you look slim and tranquil.
But it also makes me kind of uneasy, like I should go lock up the house real tight for some reason That's because we look like thieves!! Nah, more like one of those trendy hipster dads.
These days, throwing a leather jacket on an old geezer makes him look sexy, even if he's about to croak.
There's nothing hip about this! I look like a grave robber!! And you're wearing my outfit! Hey, give it back, right now! Please! I want to look cool in red this winter! You already look cool! You'd look even cooler without my outfit on.
Let's start here.
This is a poor residential area, so we should help these people.
Oh, no! If we get caught, it's all over.
We'll be reported.
We haven't done anything bad, so why is my heart beating so fast? So, who should we start with? I'm not visiting any spoiled kids who asked for something like a Nintendo DS or PlayStation.
[Note: Kendama is a wooden toy with a ball on a string.
You try to get the ball to land on a spike on the handle.
.]
Let's start with the appreciative kids who only ask for a kendama.
Do you really think you're qualified to make children's dreams come true? Kids today don't want simple stuff like that.
Ah I found someone! Yuri Tsukishima-chan.
It's hard to find a kid like her these days [A kendama and a sweet mother.
.]
A-A motheris kinda difficult Yuri-chan I wonder if her mom died Ben, don't say that! It's against the rules to make two wishes.
She won't get anything that way! How about the others? Does anybody wish they had something like a kendama? Why are you insisting on a kendama? Well, I brought lots of kendama toys because I thought it would be all the rage.
But I was wrong.
I was right about last year's Korean star boom in Japan though.
What kind of presents did you give to children during the Korean star boom?! Hey, there might be a kendama boom after all.
[A kendama and wings to fly into the future.
.]
I want that, too.
Who's next? Who wants a kendama? Forget about the kendama! Shut up.
Hey, I don't have anything else, but kendama this year! So we have to find children who want a kendama! You're just an old man who hands out kendama as presents! All right, let's see Here we go! [We played kendama all summer together I'll never forget that summer.
.]
He's talking about a toy here, right? How old is this little sicko? Damn it! We were too loud! You're speaking too loud! Agh! And so am I! Let's get out of here! Ah Look over there! Yuri-chan! Yuri-chan wished for a "kendama and a sweet mom.
" She's expecting you to make her Christmas wishes come true.
Oh, boy She wrote "a kendama and a sweet mom.
" That means she really wants a kendama.
She might have special memories of it, or something We can't do anything about her mom, but a kendama You should do it Yuri-chan! Mom, thieves! Um Mom?! Mom What? Please return to your sweet mom self! The sun is rising, Ben And we didn't even make one child's wish come true yet.
This year was the worst.
Let's go to the last house, Ben.
We can't go home like this.
Let's pick a child whose family is so poor that the only toys they get are from the Dollar Store.
Then we can bask in that one child's joy and go home.
Odd Jobs-san, please.
I already said there's no such kid in this age of gluttony.
[Steamed pork bun.]
[Odd Jobs Gin.]
I'm really sorry.
No problem.
Besides, you're very lucky to have a child who likes cheap things.
Oh? Where is she? I feel like I'm finally doing my Santa work.
You should look at yourself in the mirror.
You're a thief, nothing but a thief.
Hey! Oh? She's sleeping under the kotatsu.
[Note: Kotatsu is a low table with an electric foot warmer underneath it, covered by a quilt.
.]
What's this? Why are we doing something like Neoki Dokkiri? [Note: Neoki Dokkiri is an old TV show where the crew visits someone's house and films them waking up.
.]
A snot bubble! Why are these guys so excited? Hey, let me do it.
What are you doing? What about my steamed pork bun?! She's dreaming! Dreaming! Shoot! Gotta get out of here The Abyss gate is calling me! Let go! You let go of me! Oops, I fell asleep under the kotatsu! Steamed pork buns! Gin-chan kept his promise to buy me steamed pork buns! Yummy! ["Prayer Won't Make Your Worldly Desires Go Away! Control Yourself".]
O-le, O-le.
Katoken samba! O-le! Kagura-chan, that's enough.
Do you want hot oden all over your face? Right now, I am bald under this wig There's nothing like watching the Red and White Song Festival while sitting at the kotatsu, Sis.
[Note: The "Red and White Song Festival" is an annual singing competition that is broadcast every New Year's Eve.
.]
Agreed.
When dad was alive, the three of us used to enjoy sitting at the kotatsu.
By the way, Gin-san is late.
He went out to buy the JUMP double issue.
I wonder if he had an accident and lost his memory again.
He's probably having double fun with a girl.
Leave him be.
Your baldness caused by stress [Note: Chikuwa is fish sausage.
One of the ingredients in Oden.
.]
Kagura-chan, you want hot chikuwa shoved in your nose? Eh? What? It's the JUMP double issue.
JUMP double issue.
Eh? JUMP double issue? JUMP double issue? Good grief.
There's only one left What should we do? I've already been to seven or eight convenience stores already.
Everyone's free during the holiday season, so they are all sold out.
Yeah? Well, I've been to ten convenience stores.
Oh, if I include this one, I've actually been to 15 stores.
Well, my little boy, Hiroshi really wants JUMP.
Hiroshi is my son and only 5 years old.
My mom really wants it, too.
She's sick.
I wonder if she'll see it through the year In fact, I'm sure she won't.
Well, Hiroshi is also going to die.
Hiroshi is going to die? Well I want to make his last moments happy.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
What? Does Hiroshi really want JUMP? JUMP has really gone downhill recently.
I think this one is better.
[Dirty Girls.]
Well Hiroshi is only five years old.
Well but Hiroshi might like this I should buy it Not for me, just for Hiroshi.
Welcome.
Hey, wait a minute! That's not fair! Hiroshi is too young for JUMP.
That one is better for him.
He's too young for this! Honestly, there is no Hiroshi.
Hiroshi doesn't exist! Idiot! You're the idiot! I don't have a mom who is dying, either! Stupid! Idiot! Here's the money! You're killing me! You ought be ashamed of yourself reading JUMP at your age!! Do you have a Peter Pan complex?! No fairy will come for you! Um They curse you behind your back.
And who are you to talk, you pathetic JUMP fan you?! Reading JUMP on New Year's Eve! Excuse me Excuse me, but neither of you have enough money.
Money.
Not enough.
Unless you combine your funds.
Your decision.
Normally, New Year's Eve is a time to get wild and cut loose.
But we have a duty to defend Edo.
So tonight restrict yourself to one glass.
Just know that I'm proud of youand of your restraint.
Thank you for all your hard work this year! Cheers! You could use some restraint! They're hopeless Aw, c'mon! It's New Year's! Everything's informal, Hijikata.
But you behave informal every day.
Oh, well.
I'm not going to drink tonight, so you guys have a great time.
[Note: Konoyaro means "you bastard".
.]
Is there something worrying you, Hijikata Konoyaro? What's left of the Viper's gang is still out there.
And a bunch of bombs are still missing from that warehouse.
[Snake Killer.]
It's like a pesky snake that still lives even after we cut off its head.
[Oedo Mart.]
I said I'll read this today, and I'll loan it to you tomorrow.
What do you mean "loan it"? I paid for half, too.
Idiot! You bastard! Let me ask you something.
Which part of JUMP do you read? I bet you just read two or three mangas and then dump it, right? But I read all the mangas.
I love JUMP more than you do.
What do you know?! I'm not satisfied with reading only the manga, so I even read the comments of the manga artists at the end.
I even read the lousy editor's comments! I read about the gift winners, and send in a survey postcard every week.
That's nothing! I look over the advertisements for the suspicious mail-order goods on the back.
And, sometimes I even buy them.
Hey, if you don't quit, our issue of JUMP is gonna rip in two.
Damn it! Let's take a timeout.
Take your hands off it for now.
I promise I won't take it.
You take your hands off it first.
Then I'll do it.
Be an adult! An adult would think about the safety of JUMP! If you take your hands off it, it'll be safe.
All right.
Then let's take our hands off it at the same time.
OK, counting, one, two and three.
Wait! Do we take our hands off at the "t" or the "e" of three? At the "e.
" After the "e.
" At the moment you say "e," or right after you say "e"? Huh? I'm getting confused Oh, let's ask that old lady over there to hold it for us.
I'll bet that old boomerang is your spy.
You paid her to give it right back to you.
If I could pay an old lady, I'd have bought the JUMP! Excuse me, old lady, but could you hold onto this for us? Huh? Well, I understand that you're a bit surprised, but please? Hey Are you guys going to take your hands off it? Hey, hey, cut it out.
Even now, you're not going to take your hands off it?! What are you saying?! I'm all loose and everything.
You're just squeezing it too hard! Hey! Take your hands off it! Gee! You're gonna kill the old lady! Take your hands off it! Why don't you tell her to let go?! [Viper Transportation.]
I see The rest of Viper's gang And What's their plan? Rumor is they're going to attack the terminal.
Let's see I heard they'll attack the terminal with a truck full of justa-something bombs.
I can't believe they're going to do it on New Year's Eve.
What do you think? Will it work? Not a chance.
Why is that? Any Edoite who tries to get anything done tonightis bound to screw it up somehow.
Edo's a party town.
Hey, wait! That JUMP is mine! No! That is my JUMP! Is he a monster?! He's so agile! Sorry, brother! [NOTE: The Oniwabanshu was a group of elite ninjas formed by Yoshimune Tokugawa.
.]
I may not look it, but I used to be a member of the Oniwabanshu.
Hey! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! You're trying to get me killed, aren't you?! I thought I was going to die.
I was almost crying, bastard! I'm the one who nearly died! Hell, my life is still flashing before my eyes! It's flashing because we're on a truck! All right I'll take I won't let you have it! You don't even understand JUMP's three key principles: "Friendship," "Struggle" and "Victory.
" You don't deserve to read it! It's mine! I won't let you have it! "Friendship, Struggle and Victory?" You think you can master those just by reading JUMP? Pathetic! You're just trying to fill the emptiness in your life by reading JUMP.
You use JUMP as a confidence booster.
JUMP shouldn't be used for that purpose! Fine This is the best way for real men.
We'll settle this just as they do in JUMP! Tsk.
I prefer love-comedy manga to battle manga.
But I have no choice.
Sometimes a man must fight for his love! Gintoki Sakata.
Zenzo Hattori.
Now! What? Did I just hear a weird noise? I wonder if the cops know we're here Don't worry, it's New Year's Eve and even cops are partying tonight.
Besides, this truck looks perfectly ordinary, so people will never guess it's equipped with a fearsome bomb.
Edo will soon be a sea of fire.
JUMP Give it back to me! Ka-Kambei! JUMP Give it back to me! "Friendship, Struggle Victory" I don't exactly get it, but Those aren't bad I'll never think of it that way! This JUMP is mine! Big sister, what kind of noise do you hear? Is that a student preparing for his entrance exams by banging his head against the wall? No, Kagura-chan.
That's the sound of businessmen who've been downsized throwing themselves out windows.
Sis What are you teaching her, anyway? It's all right.
When you give a child something to dream for, sometimes you have to lie.
Well, your idea of revenge doesn't leave much room for hope and dreams.
Kagura-chan, that's the New Year's Eve bell.
They ring that bell 108 times on New Year's Eve.
Each time the bell is struck, another desire is struck from your heart, so you can start the new year fresh.
Kagura-chan, your heart is already clean, so you don't need it.
But as people grow up, they become more greedy for things.
Kagura-chan, Shin-chan.
I hope you two don't grow up like that.
Desire leads only to ruin.
J-JUMP is mine Oh? [AKAMARU JUMP.]
Looking at it up close it's just AKAMARU JUMP.
[Preview.]
Heavy snow? The spirit of an Edoite is to enjoy every occasion! The next episode: "Only Children Play in the Snow.
" Let the Kabukicho Snow Festival begin! [Hasegawa-san created this snow statue titled, "Flight.
".]
[Another episode will be: "Eating Ice Cream in Winter Is Awesome.
".]
We're looking forward to continuing the series this year!