The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e37 Episode Script
Danger Wears a Cape
Whee, I'm jumpy.
Maurice, come me jumpy.
Love to, Mort.
But I've got a bajillion royal duties.
You said doodies.
No.
Things I gotta do for the King, du-ty.
It's still funny.
Now be jumpy.
All right, maybe just one bounce.
I knew that was a bad idea.
Oh no.
He's not gonna No way.
The throne! I'll get the glue.
To eat? No! All right.
Give the glue a few hours to set.
and we are golden.
Just make sure King Julien stays away from his throne.
Okay? Okay.
Honeys, I'm home.
Who missed me? I did.
Eh, someone else this time.
How was your walkabout, your highness? Maurice, this zoo is full of so many fantastical things.
Did you know? For example, free gum under all the benches.
Watch, I'm going to blow a bubble.
You can keep that.
Now, what to do with the rest of my day? You could sit on your throne.
I take that back.
Or you can go swimming, or bouncing, or dancing.
Work it.
Work it.
Work it like you mean it.
I do mean it, but right now, mostly because Mort stuck the idea into my brain I'd like to sit on my throne.
No, your majesty, don't.
Don't what, Maurice? Don't don't let me keep you from sitting on your throne, which is rock solid and not breaking, not anything like.
Why is my booty unable to find my throne sweet spot? My throne.
It's all brokeny, and cracked, and brokeny.
Who broke the royal throne? It was an old throne.
Creaky.
Maybe just broke on its own.
Who can say? I can.
We did it.
So, it was you two.
Yes, but it was an accident.
And accident you did on purpose.
This I cannot be believing.
I ask so very little from you.
But here, you two willy-nilly ??? and ruin the most precious symbol of my power.
Isn't that your crown? A king can have many power symbols.
I see now what must be done.
Okay, this half of the kingdom is for me and my king things, and that half is for you.
This is a lot less than half.
I like it.
Well, of course, it is smaller, Maurice.
There is only one of me, and two of you.
That means we should have more, and you should have less.
The king never has less, that's the law.
So I take it we are not allowed in your half.
Got that right, mister.
And you won't come into our half? Why would I want to? It's so tiny.
You know what? Sounds jim dandy.
Mort and I are going to have a good time here.
But I We're going to hang here, kick back, maybe have a party.
Do you want to have a party, Mort? Can we invite King Julien? Okay.
Um.
Frankly you two were giving my style the cramps.
I can have fun all by myself.
You're it.
No, you're it.
You're it, no touchbacks.
No, not, because I'm on base.
There's no base.
There is for king, the king is never it.
Okay, I can't argue with that logic.
Well, this stinks.
Hello, friendly penguins.
I was wondering if you could make this melon split open for me.
Rico, slice.
There you go, ringtail.
Service with a psycho smile.
Yes, okay, thank you.
Eh, one more thing.
Could you also let me boss you around, you know, just a little? No, next question.
Please.
I have nobody to browbeat.
Mort and Maurice have left me.
They left you? Yes, right after I kicked them out.
And now I am so lonely.
You know, my uncle Nigel always said: On a voyage of life the best boat is a friendship.
Are we going boating? Who needs Maurice and Mort with my new bestest friends have a yacht? I think what Private's saying is that Maurice and Mort are your bestest friends.
Not us.
Maurice and Mort do not have a boat.
Who needs them? You need them.
Who? Maurice and Mort.
No, they are a little too boatless for my taste.
Forget about the boat.
You need to patch things up with your pals.
Nothing could possibly, ever make me want to be anywhere near them.
My booty senses nearby moving and grooving.
Burt.
Yeah, you're on the list.
In you go, my friend.
Awesome, make way for the party pachyderm.
Um.
Where's the peanuts? Down the hall on the left.
Thank you.
How'd they get a whole elephant in that shed? It's roomier than it looks.
A party! Make way for the party king, man.
Hold on there, chief, we gotta see if your name's on the guest list.
Party king? Nah, not on the list.
Hold on, I got a King Julien.
Yeah, that's me.
Yeah, you're on the "absolutely not a guest" list.
What? This must be some kind of missed stake.
Oh, it's no mistake.
We'd love for you to come, wouldn't we, Mort? Love.
But you said that we're supposed to stay on our half, and you on yours.
My hands are tied.
You understand.
Don't give me those sad eyes.
He started it.
They Do not want me at the party.
This is an outrageousness.
I shall throw my own party, and my many friends will be coming.
Right, my many friends? All right.
Okay, everybody, let's start the party games.
I'll make baloon animals.
This one is an earthworm.
Tapeworm.
Oh, and look, a hookworm.
Make that a flatform.
Wow, look at the time.
Early wake up tomorrow.
We've got to you know, do something, penguin stuff.
You do not have to lie.
No one loves me.
No, that's not.
As much as I love me.
Okay, yeah, that's true.
Look at me.
I cannot even throw a proper shindig.
Yeah, okay, well.
Thanks for having us.
It was a real treat.
Bye, now.
Aw, ringtail, you're playing my heartstrings like a big bow fiddle.
Maybe you can't throw a party.
Or maybe you just need a little help.
Men, commence operation "Hootenanny".
Turntables are up to maximum speed.
This party is a go-o-o.
The only thing left is the guest list.
Leave that to me.
I am connected.
But everyone's still at Mort and Maurice's.
I have many friends.
They will not be letting me down.
Everybody, party! Who will start the congaga line? Me? Okey-dokey.
When you said you have friends We thought you meant real friends.
But they are real friends.
A Janice's here.
Wants to be a dental technician.
But Emil thinks she isn't suited for it.
How can you crush Janice's dreams, Emil? Yes, I'm sorry, Emil.
You're right, we should get along.
That's what friends do: get along.
Not fight.
You need to see this.
Bring sad eyes.
Oh, please, enjoy the hors d'oeuvres.
None of this "no, thanks, I'm stuffed" nonsense.
Rosalita, you made it.
Rosalita, you're naughty girl.
You simply must, must dance with me.
The king.
He's He's Stark, raving mad.
And crazy too.
Without friends, he's delicate psyche snapped.
Like snappiest snapperson, the snappingest kid in snapadelphia.
Son of snap snapperson, snap photography specialist and Rico.
Thanks.
I just wanted to teach him a lesson.
I didn't want this.
He needs you, Maurice.
More than you ever knew.
Come on, Mort.
We are going home.
Mort, Maurice! You came to my party? We thought it might be fun.
Splendulous.
But are you on the guest list? Okay, I get it.
You want me to beg.
Well, forget Wait! Don't go.
You are on the list.
Look.
See? There you are.
And that is me.
And nobody cares that you broke my throne, because we are all friends again.
Yeah, okay.
I guess we are.
Huzzah! Welcome to my party, Maurice.
I want you to be considering my side of the stripe your side of the stripe.
Now please come meet Janice.
She wants to be a dental technician.
And this is Emil, he wants to crush Janesse's dreams.
It's good those freaks have each other.
Maurice, come me jumpy.
Love to, Mort.
But I've got a bajillion royal duties.
You said doodies.
No.
Things I gotta do for the King, du-ty.
It's still funny.
Now be jumpy.
All right, maybe just one bounce.
I knew that was a bad idea.
Oh no.
He's not gonna No way.
The throne! I'll get the glue.
To eat? No! All right.
Give the glue a few hours to set.
and we are golden.
Just make sure King Julien stays away from his throne.
Okay? Okay.
Honeys, I'm home.
Who missed me? I did.
Eh, someone else this time.
How was your walkabout, your highness? Maurice, this zoo is full of so many fantastical things.
Did you know? For example, free gum under all the benches.
Watch, I'm going to blow a bubble.
You can keep that.
Now, what to do with the rest of my day? You could sit on your throne.
I take that back.
Or you can go swimming, or bouncing, or dancing.
Work it.
Work it.
Work it like you mean it.
I do mean it, but right now, mostly because Mort stuck the idea into my brain I'd like to sit on my throne.
No, your majesty, don't.
Don't what, Maurice? Don't don't let me keep you from sitting on your throne, which is rock solid and not breaking, not anything like.
Why is my booty unable to find my throne sweet spot? My throne.
It's all brokeny, and cracked, and brokeny.
Who broke the royal throne? It was an old throne.
Creaky.
Maybe just broke on its own.
Who can say? I can.
We did it.
So, it was you two.
Yes, but it was an accident.
And accident you did on purpose.
This I cannot be believing.
I ask so very little from you.
But here, you two willy-nilly ??? and ruin the most precious symbol of my power.
Isn't that your crown? A king can have many power symbols.
I see now what must be done.
Okay, this half of the kingdom is for me and my king things, and that half is for you.
This is a lot less than half.
I like it.
Well, of course, it is smaller, Maurice.
There is only one of me, and two of you.
That means we should have more, and you should have less.
The king never has less, that's the law.
So I take it we are not allowed in your half.
Got that right, mister.
And you won't come into our half? Why would I want to? It's so tiny.
You know what? Sounds jim dandy.
Mort and I are going to have a good time here.
But I We're going to hang here, kick back, maybe have a party.
Do you want to have a party, Mort? Can we invite King Julien? Okay.
Um.
Frankly you two were giving my style the cramps.
I can have fun all by myself.
You're it.
No, you're it.
You're it, no touchbacks.
No, not, because I'm on base.
There's no base.
There is for king, the king is never it.
Okay, I can't argue with that logic.
Well, this stinks.
Hello, friendly penguins.
I was wondering if you could make this melon split open for me.
Rico, slice.
There you go, ringtail.
Service with a psycho smile.
Yes, okay, thank you.
Eh, one more thing.
Could you also let me boss you around, you know, just a little? No, next question.
Please.
I have nobody to browbeat.
Mort and Maurice have left me.
They left you? Yes, right after I kicked them out.
And now I am so lonely.
You know, my uncle Nigel always said: On a voyage of life the best boat is a friendship.
Are we going boating? Who needs Maurice and Mort with my new bestest friends have a yacht? I think what Private's saying is that Maurice and Mort are your bestest friends.
Not us.
Maurice and Mort do not have a boat.
Who needs them? You need them.
Who? Maurice and Mort.
No, they are a little too boatless for my taste.
Forget about the boat.
You need to patch things up with your pals.
Nothing could possibly, ever make me want to be anywhere near them.
My booty senses nearby moving and grooving.
Burt.
Yeah, you're on the list.
In you go, my friend.
Awesome, make way for the party pachyderm.
Um.
Where's the peanuts? Down the hall on the left.
Thank you.
How'd they get a whole elephant in that shed? It's roomier than it looks.
A party! Make way for the party king, man.
Hold on there, chief, we gotta see if your name's on the guest list.
Party king? Nah, not on the list.
Hold on, I got a King Julien.
Yeah, that's me.
Yeah, you're on the "absolutely not a guest" list.
What? This must be some kind of missed stake.
Oh, it's no mistake.
We'd love for you to come, wouldn't we, Mort? Love.
But you said that we're supposed to stay on our half, and you on yours.
My hands are tied.
You understand.
Don't give me those sad eyes.
He started it.
They Do not want me at the party.
This is an outrageousness.
I shall throw my own party, and my many friends will be coming.
Right, my many friends? All right.
Okay, everybody, let's start the party games.
I'll make baloon animals.
This one is an earthworm.
Tapeworm.
Oh, and look, a hookworm.
Make that a flatform.
Wow, look at the time.
Early wake up tomorrow.
We've got to you know, do something, penguin stuff.
You do not have to lie.
No one loves me.
No, that's not.
As much as I love me.
Okay, yeah, that's true.
Look at me.
I cannot even throw a proper shindig.
Yeah, okay, well.
Thanks for having us.
It was a real treat.
Bye, now.
Aw, ringtail, you're playing my heartstrings like a big bow fiddle.
Maybe you can't throw a party.
Or maybe you just need a little help.
Men, commence operation "Hootenanny".
Turntables are up to maximum speed.
This party is a go-o-o.
The only thing left is the guest list.
Leave that to me.
I am connected.
But everyone's still at Mort and Maurice's.
I have many friends.
They will not be letting me down.
Everybody, party! Who will start the congaga line? Me? Okey-dokey.
When you said you have friends We thought you meant real friends.
But they are real friends.
A Janice's here.
Wants to be a dental technician.
But Emil thinks she isn't suited for it.
How can you crush Janice's dreams, Emil? Yes, I'm sorry, Emil.
You're right, we should get along.
That's what friends do: get along.
Not fight.
You need to see this.
Bring sad eyes.
Oh, please, enjoy the hors d'oeuvres.
None of this "no, thanks, I'm stuffed" nonsense.
Rosalita, you made it.
Rosalita, you're naughty girl.
You simply must, must dance with me.
The king.
He's He's Stark, raving mad.
And crazy too.
Without friends, he's delicate psyche snapped.
Like snappiest snapperson, the snappingest kid in snapadelphia.
Son of snap snapperson, snap photography specialist and Rico.
Thanks.
I just wanted to teach him a lesson.
I didn't want this.
He needs you, Maurice.
More than you ever knew.
Come on, Mort.
We are going home.
Mort, Maurice! You came to my party? We thought it might be fun.
Splendulous.
But are you on the guest list? Okay, I get it.
You want me to beg.
Well, forget Wait! Don't go.
You are on the list.
Look.
See? There you are.
And that is me.
And nobody cares that you broke my throne, because we are all friends again.
Yeah, okay.
I guess we are.
Huzzah! Welcome to my party, Maurice.
I want you to be considering my side of the stripe your side of the stripe.
Now please come meet Janice.
She wants to be a dental technician.
And this is Emil, he wants to crush Janesse's dreams.
It's good those freaks have each other.