Ducktales (1987) s01e38 Episode Script

Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck-blur Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history DuckTales, ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab onto some DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales Ooh-ooh Not ponytails or cottontails, no, DuckTales Ooh-ooh There's my salvage vehicle.
Good old Gyro, I knew he'd finish it on time.
Looks more like an ornament from Paul Bunyan's Christmas tree.
- Launchpad, just drive.
- Roger that, Mr.
Mc D.
I'd drive a Christmas tree if it had a steering wheel.
- Uh-oh.
- What do you mean, "uh-oh?" - The oil pressure's dropping! - And my blood pressure is rising! - Get us down, quick! - Hang on! Look out for those telephone poles! What are these balloon gizmos for anyway, Gyro? Well, Doofus, they're what Mr.
McDuck is going to use to get his fortune off the bottom of the ocean.
You put the money in the bag, then you open the air valve and Presto! The money goes up, up, up! Gee, then that's what they mean by inflation! Like I always say, any landing you can spin away from is a good one.
You two look like you rode a tornado over here.
I feel terrible.
Gyro, do you have something I can drink? You're in luck, Mr.
McDuck.
I got just the thing.
And it's great for upset stomachs 'cause it never loses its fizz.
Tell me what you think.
It tastes like an old tire! As a matter of fact, vulcanized rubber is one of the main ingredients.
Gyro, it's not fit for human consumption.
Mm, I like it! I rest my case.
Now, let's get on with my expedition.
Doofus! Get off me! I'm sorry, Mr.
McDuck.
Oop! Here you go! What's in that stupid bag, anyway? It weighs a ton! A Junior Woodchuck is always prepared.
I brought my lunch - peanut butter and sardines.
I'm a growin' boy, you know.
I'd say you were three growing boys.
Launchpad, are you ready to go? You bet, Mr.
Mc D.
We'll fly off over that water like a big, round bird.
Ow! Over the water! Launchpad, you imbecile! The Gold Digger goes underwater.
Underwater? Great! Now this old pilot can earn his water wings.
That's it, get it out of your system.
Now listen up.
Thanks to Flintheart Glomgold, my fortune is sitting on the bottom of the ocean.
And I've only got three days to find it and get it to Macaroon to win the most important contest of my career.
So I don't want any goof-ups between now and then, OK? Maybe this will help.
Ooh! My face! My spine! - What? Release the line? Fine! - No, no! I said Let the air out! Let the air out! If I could only get my trusty Junior Woodchuck toothpick! No! Don't pop it! - Ow! I can't hear a thing! - What? What? I knew I could get this thing to fly.
Now if you could only get it to swim - I'd like to go and get my money! Do you mind? Not according to my mom, I don't.
Hey! One more squeak out of you and you'll be treading water the hard way.
Now, where's that trench? - Doofus! - It's not me, it's him! Fishies! We're talking! We're talking! Great! A pea brain talking to a fish brain.
Marinara Trench at 12:00 low.
Well, we've made it to the bottom of the ocean, Mr.
McDuck.
- Whoa! - Now comes the tough part.
Nothing will stop me from getting my fortune.
- Launchpad, dive! Dive! - You don't have to tell me twice, Mr.
Mc D.
- 5,000 fathoms, Mr.
Mc D.
- This is great! Diving deeper than anyone's doven before.
I've got to hand it to you, Gyro.
You really built a doozie this time.
Uh Well, thanks.
- But I just hope it stays in one piece.
- One piece? Well, I never did get all the bugs out.
Thanks, I didn't need that.
Gyro, if we drown, I'll kill you.
Nearing bottom, five fathoms.
Four, three Ground floor.
Pots, pans, ladies' lingerie and lots of mud.
Don't just sit here like a barnacle.
Let's find my gold! - How much farther? - According to the coordinates, it's just over that rise.
Oh! I can't wait! I can't wait! I can't wait to get my hands on my money.
Oh, my money! We're almost there - it's just ahead! It's it's - It's a penny.
- Gee, I thought you had a lot more money.
My money - it's gone! I don't understand, three acres of cash don't just disappear.
And no craft from the surface could've come this deep.
I'm ruined! I'll have to become a bag-laddy.
The ultra-sonic metal detector shows a bit of something to the north.
A nickel! Full-steam ahead! But make sure to pick up every coin along the way.
More up ahead, sir.
- You missed that coin, turn around.
- Can't, we're caught in the trench current.
But don't worry, I have everything under control.
Except for that rock.
Whoa! And that one! - Do something! - Don't worry, Mr.
Mc D.
I'll put the engines in reverse.
Idiot! We're already going in reverse.
- Way to stop it, Launchpad.
- Yeah, wasn't that something? - I can even crash 'em underwater.
- Morons.
I got morons on my team.
It's getting lighter.
We must be caught in an up-current.
Oh, I think I got rupture of the deep.
I'm seeing big green men here.
Fish folk! - They don't look too friendly.
- Air-breathers! Seize them! Run for it, Launchpad! Sorry, Mr.
Mc D.
We're stuck like rats on flypaper.
Take them to the master! Holy mackerel! A whole underwater civilization! Who cares? Just keep your eyes peeled for my money.
About time, hardhead.
When to we see the top sardine? Hold your salt water, air-breather.
The master awaits within.
Here are the trespassers, Master Malick.
All right, fin-face, I want to know what you did with all my money! - You admit dumping onto our seabed? - You're darn tootin' and I want it back! Then you are guilty of the most heinous of crimes - littering! Littering? What's so bad about that? See what has been done to our world by you evil perpetrators.
Hey, who's the purple traitor? Ugh! For generations you have dropped your garbage into our kingdom.
Over the years, the occasional dumping became a steady rain of trash.
And now you even dump poisons and chemicals that make our ocean harmful to live in.
Everything you drop on us, we collect and use to the best of our ability.
But most of it is useless junk, and winds up in our junkyard.
Useless? Let me at it! Never fear, dry-lander.
You'll soon be joining it.
I sentence you to work at the city dumps for 400 years! Gee, Mr.
Mc D, that's only a 100 years for each of us.
Take them to the junkyard! You cannot do this to me! I'm a mega-quad-zillionaire! Silence! We're almost to the dump site.
- That's their junkyard? - It's a sunken city.
It has to be the lost city of Atlantis! It's an archeological treasure.
The only treasure I'm interested in is my treasure.
Your punishment is to sort all this rubbish out.
Old tires go in that temple.
Broken bottles go in the coliseum.
Scrap metal and other useless bits go in there.
Scrap metal?! That's my fortune! And then some.
Never mind that junk.
Get to work! The richest tycoon in the world - reduced to a trash man.
Hey, look on the bright side, Mr.
Mc D.
We've got great job security.
Fishies! Fishies! Doofus, what are you doing? We're talking, Mr.
McDuck.
Squeaker here tells me what he wants Fishies! then I tell him what I want him to do.
Isn't this great? - Get out of here, you pest! - Hey, that's my buddy! He's an air-breather.
All air-breathers are trouble.
Now get back to work! I can't go on! You don't have to.
You're finished for the day.
Follow me.
Now that's what I call a piece of litter.
There are probably trapped pockets of air like this all over the ship.
At least old frog-face left us our helmets.
Oh, I almost forgot.
We wouldn't want you wandering away from such exclusive accommodations.
Well, seems like we're stranded high and dry now.
I think the proper expression would be low and wet.
I know, how about we find ourselves some spoons and dig our way out of here? Launchpad, how did you ever survive childhood? We don't have a chance unless we get the Gold Digger back.
Exactly.
And I'm the only one smart enough to try.
Do you think you three can create a diversion for me tomorrow? How about if we start a fire? I'd be better off asking the mermen for help.
All clear, Mr.
Mc D.
I cannot leave without at least some of my fortune.
I love floating a loan, especially with my own money.
Oops! No more time.
I've got to get out of here.
Just the thing for escaping fish.
Here today, gone tomorrow.
Go for it, Mr.
Mc D! He's not getting away that easily! I'll have to come back for the lads later.
- Hooray! Nothing can stop him now! - Except for one thing.
- What's that? - That! I wonder what they're so excited about? Yeow! Nice catch.
You deserve a big hand.
Whoa! That's the last time you'll try to escape.
Globzilla, destroy! Excuse me, conductor, I'd like to get off at the next stop.
Let go of me, you bothersome bubble-chewers.
Stop squawking, air-breather.
You're lucky Prince Malick is only having you imprisoned.
Personally, I think feeding you to Globzilla would have been lots more fun.
You won't be escaping this smokestack soon.
I hope your children all end up as caviar.
I was the only hope for escape, and I blew it! Wait! Buck up, McDuck! Maybe Gyro and Launchpad and Doofus will come up with an idea! Uh I wonder if they have a retirement plan down here.
Poor Mr.
McDuck.
I wish I had gone with him.
- I wish I'd driven the sub.
- I wish I had something to drink.
Hey, Mr.
Gearloose, you got any more of that fizzy stuff? Not now, Doofus.
Can't you see we need a brilliant idea? Fizzy stuff.
Doofus, that's it! We'll make the biggest fizzy stuff in history.
- Well, if you're both really that thirsty.
- No, not to drink, to float us out of here.
- What? The ship? - No, the whole city of Atlantis! Of course we will! Of course we will! How? Do you have to use all of it? Yes, peanut butter is the only vegetable oil substitute we have down here.
But what about the other ingredients? They're all here in this kitchen.
All except for the vulcanized rubber.
Oh, yeah.
That old-tire taste.
Hey, we could get some old tires from the dump and grind them up.
- Not without helmets.
- Sure we can.
Watch! Hi, buddy! The kid's a genius! Look, Squeaker, I need you and your pals to get us some tires from the temple.
- Wheels! - Yes, wheels.
Will you do it? There's a can of sardines in it for ya! Fishies! OK, what's the next ingredient? There's something wrong here.
The water's rising! The air is leaking out someplace.
Help! Get me out of here! OK, now all we have to do is pour this fizz solution onto some calcium carbonate.
- Calci who? - He means coral.
What? You man spread this goo all over that white scratchy stuff on the seabed? You got it! And where are you going to find someone dumb enough to attempt this stunt? But how am I gonna hold my breath that long? Now just breathe normally and you'll be all set.
I'd breathe more normally if you went in my place.
- Whoa! - Go get 'em, role model! Hey, you there! Stop! - Don't hold dinner for me! - Call for reinforcements! Yikes! I need warp speed, little trouper.
- Well, that takes care of that! - Face front! Yikes! If you have any more fancy moves, use 'em now.
Whoa! Why, little fishy, you've got more moves than a game of checkers.
Yay! Me! I can change rides.
Yahoo! Help! We did it, campers.
Uh, hi, big guy.
Read any good books lately? Hey, fish stick, your playground is floating away! Don't let it get away, Globzilla! Coochie-coochie-coo! The bigger they are, the harder they can fall.
Curse you, McDuck! Come back here with our with our Trash? Ha-ha! Thank you, Mr.
McDuck! Thank you! What the? Yeow! Oh, boy, Mr.
McDuck.
You made it! What? How did we get up here? - Thanks to Launchpad and Doofus.
- And Gyro, too.
It was his fizzy drink.
You three did it by yourselves? I was really wrong about you guys.
Without you, I'd never have got my fortune back.
Thank you.
And I think we should thank my little buddies with a little reward.
Fishies! Hey, me too! Fishies!