The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! (1989) s01e38 Episode Script

Hey Paisanos!
it's the Super Mario
Brother's Super Show!
We're the Mario Brothers,
and plumbing's our game, ♪
we're not like the
others who get all the fame. ♪
If your sink is in trouble
you can call us on the double, ♪
we're faster than the
others you'll be hooked on the ♪
brothers Unh!
H-hooked on the brothers.
Gimme gimme, gimme gimme.
Yo, you're in for a treat,
so hang on to your seat, ♪
get ready for adventure
and remarkable feats. ♪
You'll meet Koopas, the
Troopas the Princess and the ♪
others, hanging with the
plumbers you'll be hooked on ♪
the brothers.
To the brink!
Unh!
Unh!
I say h-h-h-h-hooked
on the brothers! ♪
The brothers!
The brothers!
Nice shot!
Dude, get on the thing.
Wow.
Hurray!
Check it out!
Hello.
Welcome to Club
Mario my name is Tommy,
a muscular tree hugger.
And I am Coe Deltoids MC.
Yea well hey check
it out dudes one sec,
we are totally ripping
off Saturday Night Live,
but the way we see it you guys
are too young to really stay
up and watch it anyhow, and
we'll do just about anything
to further our careers.
But today, the cartoon is
called The Unzappables.
Yes, so listen to
him now hear me later.
[laughs]
And it's
basically like beach,
we've got a totally special,
Are You Bogus guest later,
but I'm not gonna
tell you for now.
Right now James what do
you say we satellite surf?
It's a sport where you go
out, and do your own thing,
you set your own
pace and limits.
The rollerblade skates are
the only skates made that,
can take what
we're doin' to 'em.
What I do is I don't go
out and do spins and tricks,
I go for a good
hardcore workout.
Yo, yo!
It's the Mario Brothers
and plumbing's their game, ♪
found the secret warp zone
while working on the drain, ♪
lend the princess a
hand in the Mushroom Land. ♪
Comin' atcha
with the plumbers, ♪
you'll be hooked
on the brothers! ♪
Noooooow, Evil Koopa and his
Troopas are up to misbehaving, ♪
they kidnapped the princess;
Mushroom Land needs saving. ♪
Abusing and confusing
everybody he discovers, ♪
they can't help but be
hooked on the brothers! ♪
Unh! ♪
Plumber's
log number 1929.
We arrived in Crime Land,
where the city was in the
midst of its worst
crime wave ever.
And behind it all was
the evil King Koopa,
now calling
himself Al Koopone.
I wonder why they call
this place Crime Land?
Everything seems
peaceful to me.
Lousiness linguini!
Those gangster goons
just robbed that bank!
Come on, let's nab 'em!
Hold it right there!
We're making a
citizens arrest!
Oh yeah?
Well eat Snifits bilge brains.
Make like a bird and duck!
I bet those crooks are
working for Al Koopone.
Let's teach that
renegade reptile,
that crime doesn't pay!
[Koopa:] This soda bar is
the perfect place for my new
headquarters: the Koopa Klub.
Those garlic gulpin' goody
goodies will never get in
here.
[laughs]
Hey boss, your order from
the Gangster Supply Store,
has arrived.
Fan-Kooping-tastic.
Put it down!
Whoa!
[sigh]
Gee, it's just
a bunch of hats!
That's what you think.
Those hats are magic!
Now put 'em on!
I'm gonna have
myself a Koopa kick!
Oh oh ohhhh.
[laughs]
Rampaging reptiles, it works!
[laughs]
I don't get it!
We should have more
holes than Swiss cheese!
Those hats'll repel
any kind of weapon!
Whoever wears one
becomes unzappable.
[laughs]
Sheesh, now he tells us!
Hand out the hats.
We got a Koopa
caper to commence.
[Mario:] Al Koopone is
Public Enemy Number One.
[Princess:] And if
we're gonna catch him,
we got to find out what
his next caper's gonna be!
But no one in
town will tell us!
The dudes are all too scared!
Hmm.
What we need is a stoolpigeon.
Psst!
Hey bub, over here.
Lucky linguini!
A stoolpigeon!
Ya wanna know
Koopone's next job?
You mean you'll tell us?
Wouldn't be much of a
stoolpigeon if I didn't!
[squawk]
Of course, eh, it'll cost ya.
How 'bout this pigeon dude?
Chickenfeed!
But, since I'm a
bird, I'll take it.
Come here!
Koopone's next job will be to
rob The First Mushroom Bank.
Reach for the sky Mushrooms!
This is a stickup!
Great balls of cheese!
Here's the bank vault!
Plug your ears and
watch your rears.
I'm going Bob-omb bowling.
[kaboom]
It's raining gold coins!
Let's stash this
cash, and dash!
Not so fast!
It's those pastrami plumbers!
Do your worst ya
pipe patchin' pinheads.
Let's squash 'em!
Take this, Koopa creepos!
[laughter]
Our vegetables
bounced right off of them!
This calls for pasta power!
Whoaaaa!
I don't get it!
The dudes are unzappable!
That's right!
Thanks to our new
unzappable hats.
Now reach for it plumb scum!
What should we do
with 'em, boss?
Take 'em, for a ride.
[laughter]
I don' think he
means a j-joyride!
[Princess:] You better
let us go Al Koopone,
if you know
what's good for you!
You don't scare me.
In a few seconds you'll be
suckin' seaweed at the bottom
of the river.
These cement overshoes
are hard to walk in.
Somebody help me
take mine off!
Uh, I'll help ya!
Get back here you
know nothing knot head!
They're not
supposed to walk in 'em,
they're supposed
to sink in 'em!
[growl]
Whoa!
So long, drain brains!
Ahhh!
Well here's another fine
mess we've gotten into.
Our faucet fixin'
days aren't over yet!
Look!
Lucky lasagna!
A Starman!
Starman, star bright,
give me pasta power,
give me pasta might!
Nice going super dude!
Now set us free!
Whoaaa!
Come on!
Let's knock that
Koopa for a loopa!
[Toad:] Look, dudes!
It's Al Koopone's
hangout, the Koopa Klub!
Just leave things to Mario.
I'll get us in as smooth as
water through a drainpipe.
Who is it?
It's Aface and his gang.
What's the password?
Password?
Huh.
Password?
[sighs]
Ummm.
It's cheeseballs, ya dopes.
Oh yeah.
Cheeseballs!
That's better.
Oy.
Some people are really stupid!
Swingin' spaghetti!
Look at this place!
Man, these gangster
dudes are really hoppin'.
We've got to find out where
they keep their unzappable
hats!
Look, it's the hatcheck room!
Come on!
Let's cap this Koopa caper!
Now we're the Unzappables!
It's Koopa clobberin' time!
This is the life!
Who says Koopa
crime doesn't pay?
[laughs]
We do,
you goofy
green good for nothing!
Cursed crocodiles!
It's those clog
clearing clodhoppers!
Yeah!
And they're wearin'
our unzappable hats!
Koopa Pack, attack!
What?
Yikes!
Yeaaa!
Hey!
Yikes!
Ahhh!
Ahhh!
Yeow!
Koopone, you've
Kooped your last Koop.
Not yet, pastapus!
I still have one
Koop left up my sleeve!
The dude's escaping
into a warp zone!
Lousy lasagna!
The Koopa's flown
the Koop again!
Yes, but he won't be breaking
any more laws in Crime Land.
I don't understand it!
Where's Mario?
We've looked all over!
I'm up here!
And now that we've chased
Al Koopone from Crime Land,
I'm changing the
name of the Koopa Klub.
To what?
Mario's Pasta Palace!
Until now this town didn't
have one Italian restaurant,
and that really was a crime!
Hi and welcome back to a very
special addition of Are You
Bogus?
The tree man has
outdone himself this time,
Tommy word.
Alright dude check it out, ok
I was walking back from the
coffee machine eh?
And I ran into this guy
standing-- don't touch me dude,
get out of here man.
I said what are you
doing here can I help you?
And he goes I'm Joe Piscopo.
Joe Piscopo?
Get outta here!
No I swear to God.
Watch this:
what's your name dude?
No really I'm Joe Piscopo.
Guys hold on a
second I'm serious now.
I watch Club Mario all
the time-- Mario dude.
Mario alright, I'm from
New Jersey give me a break.
The garden state alright.
That's it, that's it.
I have something to say dude,
I saw Joe Piscopo on the cover
of Muscle and
Fitness magazine,
and he wasn't wearing
any of this stuff man.
No man I was just having fun
and I want to say hi to my
nephews.
Can I say hi to my nephews?--
Forget it dude you can't take
liberties on our show.
My son Joey, Brian and Bret,
they love the Mario thing,
they play with the
game all the time.
It's Wonderful.
And I'd like to
say, hi Mom, hi Luke,
hi Curtis.
Hey you could be on
Muscle and Fitness soon.
Are you kidding me?
Piscopo is not
this buff, no way,
get outta here.
You don't believe
I'm Jose Piscopo?
Come here I'll
show you something,
come on, will you follow me?
No excuse me, one second dude.
Oh wait a minute you're
walking off our show now?
Wait there's something that we
need to do on every show bub,
you are bogus!
And I don't want to have
anything to do with you
anymore dude.
So I'm gonna have to ask
you Mr. Joe Piscopo--
To take a walk is that it?
To take the stroll.
Yea ok, I got it, I got it.
It was nice, nice try though.
Guys, check it out, I want
you to come with me because I
really like you guys you
know you got a big career--
I know Eddie Murphy
personally I talk to him.
And come on, follow me out.
Get out!
Heavy door for you dude?
[laughs]
I knew you would say that.
Would anyone other than Joe
Piscopo be stupid enough to
buy a 'vet that
looks like this?
Hi baby, how are you?
Does she come
with the car dude?
Nice to meet you Coe MC.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you Tommy.
See you in Jersey folks.
Umm well, Joe, you want to
come back to the show anytime?
Anytime Joe.
To all the kids
watching Mario,
always wear your seatbelt.
See ya.
Joe dude?
Joe dude?
Hang on one second!
We're baaack!
For another installment
of Doctor Know-it-all.
Treeman.
Alright, dude we got a killer
question for you Mr. Doctor
Up-side-down.
Alright man, Jennifer Beach
from Ottumwa Iowa writes in
and asks where is the
coolest place on earth?
Well Tommy, the coolest place
on earth would have to be
Antarctica where in 1983 they
recorded the temperature of
minus 128 degrees Fahrenheit.
Now in the United States
the coolest place would be
Prospect Creek Alaska, that
was minus 80 degrees in 1971.
The coldest place in North
America is in the Yukon--
Ok yea.
Ok ok.
Everybody on earth knows the
coolest place is: Club Mario!
So once again that just goes
to prove-- This guy is bogus!
You call me back, with
the bubbles again this is
terrific.
You call me back, you tell me
there's a legitimate question
for me to answer, and you turn
it into a cheap little plug
for the show.
That's because we
don't care about you man.
You're gonna hear
from my attorney,
you're gonna hear
from my attorney.
You cannot take science, and
twist it around like this,
for your own commercial--
Wow what an awesome show we had
today, even with the exception
of Doctor Know-It-All.
As usual.
We had Joe Piscopo
on the show today!
Joe Muscles Piscopo.
James and the band!
Or was it just a dream?
Anyway we'll see you next time
I'm Tommy Tree Hugger peace,
love, recycle!
I'm Coe MC paying
homage to the Wonderman.
Be real.
We'll see ya next time on Club
Mario where the airways--
Are our ways!
Dance us out of here dude!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪
come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step,
and then again. ♪
Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪
You've got it!
It's the Mario!
Do the Mario!
Swing your arms
from side to side, ♪
come on, it's time to go!
Do the Mario!
Take one step,
and then again. ♪
Let's do the Mario,
all together now! ♪
Come on now, it's
just like that! ♪♪