Animaniacs (1993) s01e39 Episode Script

Pavlov's Mice / Chicken Boo-Ryshnikov / Nothing But the Tooth / Meatballs or Consequences

IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y SHIRLEY MACLAINE-Y ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY THE HIMALAYAS, THE LARGEST MOUNTAINS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH, AND HERE, HIGH ATOP MT.
GUZOONTIKE, LIVES THE WISEST CREATURE IN THE WORLD-- THE GREAT WALLY LLAMA, KNOWER OF ALL THAT IS KNOWABLE.
PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE GLOBE SEEK HIS ADVICE FOR THERE IS NO QUESTION HE DOES NOT HAVE AN ANSWER TO.
SO YOU SEE, MISS MACLAINE, THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KAYE BALLARD IN ANOTHER LIFE.
SHE IS A WINTER, AND YOU'RE AN AUTUMN.
IT'S TRUE.
THERE'S NO QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO.
OH, THANK YOU, WALLY LLAMA.
OH, BOY.
WHAT A DUMB QUESTION.
WHEW! ALL DAY LONG, QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS.
I'M SICK OF QUESTIONS.
I WILL ANSWER NO MORE QUESTIONS TODAY.
WHEW! THAT'S WORSE THAN SWEATING TO THE OLDIES.
BUT NOT AS ANNOYING.
TRUE.
NO RICHARD SIMMONS.
HEY, THERE IT IS! THE TEMPLE OF WALLY LLAMA! COME ON! [RING.]
WOW! JUST THINK, SIBLINGS.
SOON WE'LL KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE MOS IMPORTANT QUESTION IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
GO AWAY! [SNIFFING.]
[RING.]
I SAID GO AWAY! I AM MISSING BAYWATCH.
BUT WE HAVE A VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY-- IMPORTANT QUESTION TO ASK YOU.
I'M SICK OF QUESTIONS.
EVERYBODY ALWAYS WANTS TO ASK ME A QUESTION.
OH, WALLY LLAMA, I HAVE A QUESTION.
OH, WALLY LLAMA, WHY THIS? WHY THAT? NO! I AM NOT ANSWERING ANY MORE QUESTIONS TODAY.
HOW COME? THAT'S A QUESTION, AND I'M NO ANSWERING IT, SO THERE.
[RING.]
THIS IS FUN.
WHAT! OH, GREAT LLAMA, WE HAVE JOURNEYED 8,000 MILES THROUGH RAIN, SLEET, AND SNOW.
I GOT SICK IN PHOENIX.
WE HUMBLY REQUES THAT YOU ANSWER OUR ONE TINY, EVER-SO-IMPORTAN QUESTION.
WELL NO! OUR NEW FRIEND.
[MUTTERING.]
NEW WHITE 'N' BRIGH WILL GET YOUR CLOTHES WHITER AND BRIGHTER THAN NEW.
JUST LOOK.
PLEASE ANSWER OUR QUESTION.
NO, AND GET OU OF MY TV.
LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA OUR QUESTION ANSWER, PLEASE WHEN HE HEAR THE ANSWER WE PROMISE THAT WE'LL LEAVE, HEY OH, A THOUSAND PITIES ON ME.
COME ON, MR.
LLAMA HEAD.
JUST ONE ITSY-BITSY QUESTION.
NO! YOUR MOUTH MAY SAY NO BUT YOUR EYES SAY YES.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I AM THE GREAT WALLY LLAMA, THE WISEST BEING ON EARTH.
I MUST USE MY SMARTY BRAINS.
AH, I KNOW WHERE THEY WILL NEVER FIND ME.
LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA.
WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HIDING FROM THE PUPPY CHILDREN.
PUPPY CHILDREN? OH, GOLLY, YES.
THEY HAVE LONG EARS LIKE THAT, AND BEADY BLACK EYES LIKE THAT, AND WHITE FACES LIKE A SPOOKY CLOWN, AND-- AAH! LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA-- LLAMA.
SO HOW ABOU THAT QUESTION? AAH! [WHISTLES.]
TAXI! WHERE TO, MACK? THAT'S A QUESTION.
I AM NOT ANSWERING IT.
JUST DRIVE.
TERRIBLE PUPPY CHILDREN ARE AFTER ME.
HEY, WE'RE NOT PUPPIES.
AAH! HELLO, LLAMA! AAH! GO AWAY, PLEASE.
WE KNOW WHEN WE'RE NOT WANTED.
WE CAN TAKE A HINT.
COME ON, SIBS.
HE PROBABLY DOESN'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO OUR QUESTION, ANYWAY.
THERE'S NO QUESTION I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO.
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE.
BUT I KNOW.
I KNOW EVERYTHING.
NO, YOU DON'T.
NOT THIS.
THERE IS NO QUESTION IN THE WORLD I DON'T KNOW.
GO AHEAD, ASK ME.
I THOUGHT YOU WEREN' ANSWERING QUESTIONS.
I'M NOT.
JUST THIS ONE TO PROVE TO YOU THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING.
WELL O.
K.
HERE'S OUR QUESTION.
WHY DO HOT DOGS COME IN PACKAGES OF 10 AND HOT DOG BUNS COME IN PACKAGES OF EIGHT? I-- I-- I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
I--I--I--I-- WHOO-HOO HA HA! I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW! LLAMA, LLAMA, LLAMA! RING-DONG! REE-BU-ZEA! MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST WRITE DEAR ABBY.
GEE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
THE PINKY AND THE BRAIN THE PINKY AND THE BRAIN ONE IS A GENIUS THE OTHER'S INSANE TO PROVE THEIR MOUSY WORTH THEY'LL OVERTHROW THE EARTH THEIR DINKY THE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN [GRUNTING.]
HE APPROACHES.
READY TIME TO CLEAN THAT CAGE, LITTLE FELLAS.
AIM FIRE! EGAD, BRAIN! IT WORKED! NATURALLY, PINKY.
HE'LL BE FROZEN FOR 24 HOURS.
WE DID IT! NARF! WE FROZE THE JANITOR! JOB WELL DONE, BRAIN.
VERY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, THEN, GOODNIGHT.
[SNORING.]
BUT, PINKY, THERE'S MORE.
I ALSO GE THE GINSU KNIVES? YOU HAVE THE RECALL OF A LIMA BEAN.
LET'S REVIEW, SHALL WE? IN THE SWISS ALPS, THE INTERNATIONAL PEACE SUMMI WILL BRING PRESEN AND FORMER WORLD LEADERS TOGETHER IN ONE ROOM.
HE WHO CONTROLS THAT ROOM CONTROLS THE WORLD, AND WE SHALL CONTROL THAT ROOM.
BRILLIANT, BRAIN.
ZORT! UHBUT HOW? WITH MY CATALYSTIC IMMOBILIZER, PINKY.
IT WILL FREEZE THE WORLD'S LEADERS FOR 24 HOURS, AND WE'LL TAKE OVER.
SUPREME RULE WILL BE OURS OR RATHER, MINE.
ZORT! THANKS, BRAIN.
NOW LET US QUI THIS PLACE.
NARF! [DRUMS PLAYING.]
PLEASE STOP THAT, PINKY.
IT'S VERY ANNOYING.
OH, NARF! SURE THING, BRAIN.
GENERAL BRAIN.
RIGHT.
GENERAL BRAIN.
OW! NOW, THEN, LET'S BEGIN THE BRIEFING.
GENTLEMEN UPON ARRIVAL HERE, WE BEGIN OUR ASSAUL AFTER I GIVE THE CODE WORD.
OOH, OOH! BRAIN! PICK ME, BRAIN! GENERAL BRAIN.
RIGHT.
GENERAL BRAIN.
UM, WHAT IS THE CODE WORD? I CAN'T TELL YOU.
IF YOU WERE CAPTURED, YOU MIGHT TALK.
WHAT? ME TALK? GENERAL BRAIN, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.
NARF! NOPE! NOT A WORD! NEVER! NOT ME! NO! AND IF THEY TORTURED YOU? OH, WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT THEN, ISN'T IT? OUR DESTINATION, THE SUMMI IN THE FORTRESS HIGH ATOP SCHLOSS DANKE SCHOEN IN THE SWISS ALPS.
THOSE ARE REALLY ATTRACTIVE EARMUFFS.
[DRUMS PLAYING.]
PINKY, PLEASE STOP THA OR I SHALL HAVE TO HURT YOU.
OOPS! NARF! SORRY, BRAIN.
GENERAL BRAIN.
IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE CORRECT, AND THEY ALWAYS ARE, WE WILL TOUCH DOWN ON THE ROOF OF THE CASTLE'S BANQUET HALL.
BULL'S-EYE, GENERAL BRAIN! ZOUNDS! UNFORTUNATELY, THE ROOF IS A TREACHEROUS SHEET OF ICE.
AAH! WHAT AN INCREDIBLE VIEW.
THIS IS GRAY SQUIRREL CALLING BULLFROG.
COME IN BULLFROG.
OVER.
UH, THIS IS BULLFROG.
I READ YOU, GRAY SQUIRREL.
STATE YOUR LOCATION, BULLFROG.
OVER.
I'M RIGHT HERE, GENERAL BRAIN.
NOW PAY ATTENTION, MEN.
TO REACH THE CASTLE, WE ARE INITIATING PLAN "B," THE GONDOLA RIDE.
GREAT! NARF! WHERE DO WE BUY TICKETS? LET'S MOVE OUT.
BORIS, IT'S GREA TO SEE YOU.
NICE HAT.
GOT TO TELL YOU IT FITS YOU.
THE BOOTS, TOO.
I LIKE THE WHOLE ENSEMBLE.
JUMP.
PINKY, IF BY ANY CHANCE YOU'RE CAPTURED DURING THIS MISSION, REMEMBER YOU ARE GUNTHER HIENDRIKSON FROM APPENZELL.
YOU MOVED TO GRINDELWALD TO DRIVE THE COG TRAIN TO MURREN.
CAN YOU REPEAT THAT? UMNO, BRAIN.
DON'T THINK I CAN.
PREPARE TO DROP, PINKY.
TIMING IS OF THE ESSENCE.
[PLAYING DRUMS.]
PINKY, I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT.
I AM IN CONSIDERABLE PAIN.
NARF! HELLO, BULLFROG.
COME IN, BULLFROG.
THIS IS GRAY SQUIRREL.
DO YOU READ ME? OVER.
[STATIC.]
THIS IS BULLFROG.
I READ YOU, GRAY SQUIRREL.
OVER.
WHERE ARE YOU? OVER.
I'M RIGHT HERE, BRAIN.
UH, GENERAL BRAIN? OOH.
HUH? AAH! OOH! HA! WE MADE IT, GENERAL BRAIN! HA HA HA! YOUR PERCEPTIONS OF ACCOMPLISHMEN ARE MISGUIDED, PINKY.
IT'S ANOTHER MILE TO THE SUMMIT.
OH, RIGHT.
WELL, THEN, HMM PINKY, ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING? I THINK SO, BUT WHERE WOULD WE FIND AN OPEN TATTOO PARLOR AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT? AT OUR PRESENT RATE OF ASCENSION, WE'LL MISS THE SUMMI ENTIRELY.
WE NEED A FASTER MODE OF TRANSIT.
[EAGLE SQUAWKING.]
NARF! OH, THIS IS A LOT FASTER.
[SQUAWKING.]
AAH! AAH! [MUMBLING PRAYER.]
THIS IS GRAY SQUIRREL CALLING BULLFROG.
COME IN, BULLFROG.
[PLAYING DRUMS.]
I TOLD YOU TO STOP PLAYING THAT.
AAH! AAH! AAH! CHEERS.
THAT IS NO A NAPKIN.
HOW FORTUITOUS, PINKY.
WE'VE ARRIVED.
THE MOMENT OF GLORY IS NOW.
READY THE CATALYSTIC IMMOBILIZER AND PREPARE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
TAKE YOUR POSITION ON THAT CHEESE.
MOVE OUT! READY AIM FIRE! HUH AND SO THE SUMMI OF THE WORLD LEADERS CONCLUDED SUCCESSFULLY TODAY.
TURN IT OFF, PINKY.
BUT, BRAIN, WE MIGHT BE ON.
IN FACT, THE ONLY MISHAP WAS TIPPER GORE TWISTING HER ANKLE RUNNING FROM SOME FROZEN RATS.
RATS? NARF! WE'RE NOT RATS.
PINKY, PLEASE.
I'VE GOT TO PLAN FOR TOMORROW NIGHT.
WHY? WHAT ARE WE DOING TOMORROW NIGHT, BRAIN? THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT, PINKY-- TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
THEY'RE DINKY THE PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN.
TO SEND AWAY FOR THE FREE BROCHURE? TO SAY SOMETHING REALLY CUTE? IT'S TIME TO LEARN TODAY'S LESSON.
TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS, WE TURN TO THE WHEEL OF MORALITY.
WHEEL OF MORALITY, TURN, TURN, TURN.
TELL US THE LESSON THAT WE SHOULD LEARN.
WE WON, WE WON, WE WON! [WHISTLES.]
YIKES! YIKES! LATHER RINSE REPEAT.

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