Clarence US (2014) s01e39 Episode Script
Detention
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! So, just to give you a sense of where the White House is in relation to Aberdale This darn thing never stays down.
Did I show you guys this dark-humor card that I love so much? It says "happy birthday! One more year closer to me!" I don't know who this guy is, but, I mean, a card that plays a song so cool.
Yeah, Clarence.
Pretty cool.
Speaking of cool, seems like the halls are abuzz about my new status as Hall Monitor.
What?! No one's talking about that.
That's right.
They even gave me a sash.
- Sash! - So I'm pretty much officially cool.
Why are you wearing that now, anyway? We're in class.
How else are people going to know I'm Hall Monitor? Wait! Did you sew this to your shirt?! So? It keeps it wrinkle-free.
Clarence! What did I say about the card? - Sorry, Ms.
Baker.
It's just - We all think it's very funny.
Just play with it after class, okay? Oooooooh! Come on.
Settle down.
All right, we've got learning to do.
Learning Enh-enh-enh! Just relax.
Concentrate.
Don't even worry about anything about the card.
It's not about the card.
Hey, Gilben, did you see this hilarious dark-humor card? Enough with the song already, Clarence! You're distracting Gilben! If I hear that card again, that's a detention.
- Sorry, Ms.
Baker.
- That's okay, Clarence.
Clarence!! Hi, Mr.
Reese.
Ms.
Baker told me to give this to you.
Hm? For me? It's not my birthday.
Have a seat, Clarence.
Mr.
Noles.
Thanks for the doughnut, but you know this isn't gonna get you out of detention.
Now, you boys sit down and think about how you got here.
Percy? You got detention? Ms.
Shoop said I cried too much when I fell off the slide.
Belson! What are you doing? Mr.
Reese is gonna be mad if he Did he pass away? What no, if I give Mr.
Reese a doughnut, the big doofus gets so overloaded on sugar or something, I guess he crashes for, like, the entire recess.
And you play your game full volume? Yeah as long as I put it away before he wakes up, - it's all good.
- Hmmm.
A regular don't wake daddy situation.
Ow! Oh, my gosh! It's Oh, my gosh.
It's full of all these amazing toys! It's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
He's very balancey.
Oh, cool! A bouncy ball! Oh! Ooh! Why isn't it barking anymore? Okay, you dorks, put everything back.
Mr.
Reese is gonna wake up any second.
Okay, kids, get to class.
And remember, ladies, no running.
- Ugh.
Whatever, Jeff.
- He thinks he's so cool with that stupid sash.
Am I 'nanners, or was that the funnest detention ever? It was so much more fun than a recess.
It was such a good time! I'm so excited! I wish we could do this every day.
Oh, my goodness.
Stop.
What if we do this every day, like as in starting right now tomorrow?! But you don't have detention tomorrow.
Hmm.
Then I'll have to get detention tomorrow.
Okay, Clarence, what'd you bring for show-and-tell? Clarence! Clarence! Clarence! Clarence! Clarence! Clar It's so much better than recess.
You're gonna love it so mu Percy! Who are these guys? It's supposed to be a secret.
We want to have a fun recess! And besides, you brought that man.
Okay, fine.
But everyone be really careful and hide, and I'll give you the signal.
Clarence.
Two days in a row.
Looks like you and I are gonna be having a man-to-man talk about a little thing I like to call respect.
Now, 10 years ago, I was a lot like 3, 2, 1 Hey! Man, he's really out.
Guess what I put the rat in the meatballs, and you'll never know! Quit it, Sumo.
Don't mess this up for me.
Hey, there's something in this cabinet, but it appears to be locked.
Whooooa! What's this junk? Yippee! Me have a cold.
Ah-choo! Awww! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! There's so many toys! I don't know which one I want to play with first! - What are you guys doing? - Oh, it's the Po-Po.
Oh.
Hey, Jeff.
How's it going, my casual friend? This is wrong.
Where is Mr.
Reese? Did you guys kill him?! This is unbelievable! I'm going to inform an adult.
No, Jeff, this isn't what it looks like.
Just a couple of bad detention kids not playing and being good kids that's it.
Sorry, Clarence.
This is the duty of a Hall Monitor.
Yeah, well, this isn't a hall.
Could you just be cool? Be cool? - Yeah.
- Come on.
Please.
- Please? - Jeff, why? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
I'm a cool guy.
Hey, who wants to par-ty? Yeah! It's rock 'em in one corner and sock 'em in the other.
Who's gonna win the fight of a century? Oh.
Okay.
Well, that was quick.
Jeff is cool.
Jeff is cool.
All right, nerd heads, recess is almost over.
Wrap it up.
I'll see you darlings tomorrow.
That closet is the best thing this school's ever given us.
Yeah.
Thanks for not telling on us, Jeff.
- That was pretty cool.
- Of course.
Hi, Jeff.
Hey, you guys doing this again tomorrow? 'Cause I think I could make some improvements.
Mehhh! Clarence, baby! Get in here, you! Welcome to detention.
Feel free to use the coat check, if you need one.
Jeff, when did you do all this? - Aren't you scared of getting caught? - Clarence, baby, don't worry.
I switched the coffee in the teachers lounge to decaf, and I doubled Mr.
Reese's doughnut count.
It's all smooth sailing, baby.
- We got this thing down to a science.
- Uhhh Uh, excuse me, El Jeffé.
We just wanted to tell you this place really rocks.
- Yeah.
It's really cool.
- I love everything in here.
You ladies are too kind.
You know what? You can all hang out in the V.
I.
K.
area.
- Percy approves.
- Okay.
See ya.
- The V.
I what? - Oh! Clarence! Oh, I'm so glad you showed up, babe.
- I really need you.
- Really? Uh, uh, uh, number 23.
Ugh.
Thank goodness.
It's finally my turn.
I'll have a green tauntinator.
Okay, a green tauntinator green tauntinator - Ugh.
He is super-slow.
- I saw it here somewhere.
Recess will be over soon! I'm gonna take toys myself! No, sir, you have to wait for your number.
My number is "no waiting"! So I said, "some assembly is required.
" Excuse me, ladies.
Listen up, everyone.
I've got a surprise planned that'll knock your socks off.
What?! What?! Hey, friends, I just noticed it's a really nice day out.
Why don't we just go outside and play today, huh? Outside is lame.
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Ahh.
It's so nice.
Wheee! Surprise! Surprise! Okay.
You asked for it.
Now you got it.
Wo-o-o-o-o-o Ta-da! A Pego block statue of yourself? Really? Don't you guys think it's cool? Uh, at least there are a lot of pieces here that I can play with.
- I-I superglued them together.
- What? Hm.
Wait! Wait! I-I was just kidding.
I was just kidding! I have the real big surprise hiding right over here.
You're gonna love it! I promise! Uh I have this hilarious-dark humor card.
This place used to be cool, but now it's all the same toys over and over.
Yeah.
Let's get out of here.
Ladies! Wait! Detention is still happenin'! - Sumo? - Uh, I quit.
Party's over, kids.
Hey, everyone.
Look at Clarence.
He's having crazy fun.
Even Ms.
Shoop is playing with him.
- Clarence, wiggle your bum! - Okay.
I'm trying.
- I'm trying! I'm trying! - Wiggle your bum! Okay, okay, okay.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
That looks really fun.
Yeah.
We haven't played outside for a long time.
I have dibs on monkey bars! Yeah! - Outside! - Guys! Guys! Don't go! L-Listen to this! It's gonna get real crazy.
Jeff! Are you responsible for this? - Uh uh, well, yeah, uh - Kid, you've got to be one of the most irresponsible Hall Monitors I've ever seen.
I'm stripping you of your duty! What the? - Mr.
Noles! - Crud!
Did I show you guys this dark-humor card that I love so much? It says "happy birthday! One more year closer to me!" I don't know who this guy is, but, I mean, a card that plays a song so cool.
Yeah, Clarence.
Pretty cool.
Speaking of cool, seems like the halls are abuzz about my new status as Hall Monitor.
What?! No one's talking about that.
That's right.
They even gave me a sash.
- Sash! - So I'm pretty much officially cool.
Why are you wearing that now, anyway? We're in class.
How else are people going to know I'm Hall Monitor? Wait! Did you sew this to your shirt?! So? It keeps it wrinkle-free.
Clarence! What did I say about the card? - Sorry, Ms.
Baker.
It's just - We all think it's very funny.
Just play with it after class, okay? Oooooooh! Come on.
Settle down.
All right, we've got learning to do.
Learning Enh-enh-enh! Just relax.
Concentrate.
Don't even worry about anything about the card.
It's not about the card.
Hey, Gilben, did you see this hilarious dark-humor card? Enough with the song already, Clarence! You're distracting Gilben! If I hear that card again, that's a detention.
- Sorry, Ms.
Baker.
- That's okay, Clarence.
Clarence!! Hi, Mr.
Reese.
Ms.
Baker told me to give this to you.
Hm? For me? It's not my birthday.
Have a seat, Clarence.
Mr.
Noles.
Thanks for the doughnut, but you know this isn't gonna get you out of detention.
Now, you boys sit down and think about how you got here.
Percy? You got detention? Ms.
Shoop said I cried too much when I fell off the slide.
Belson! What are you doing? Mr.
Reese is gonna be mad if he Did he pass away? What no, if I give Mr.
Reese a doughnut, the big doofus gets so overloaded on sugar or something, I guess he crashes for, like, the entire recess.
And you play your game full volume? Yeah as long as I put it away before he wakes up, - it's all good.
- Hmmm.
A regular don't wake daddy situation.
Ow! Oh, my gosh! It's Oh, my gosh.
It's full of all these amazing toys! It's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
He's very balancey.
Oh, cool! A bouncy ball! Oh! Ooh! Why isn't it barking anymore? Okay, you dorks, put everything back.
Mr.
Reese is gonna wake up any second.
Okay, kids, get to class.
And remember, ladies, no running.
- Ugh.
Whatever, Jeff.
- He thinks he's so cool with that stupid sash.
Am I 'nanners, or was that the funnest detention ever? It was so much more fun than a recess.
It was such a good time! I'm so excited! I wish we could do this every day.
Oh, my goodness.
Stop.
What if we do this every day, like as in starting right now tomorrow?! But you don't have detention tomorrow.
Hmm.
Then I'll have to get detention tomorrow.
Okay, Clarence, what'd you bring for show-and-tell? Clarence! Clarence! Clarence! Clarence! Clarence! Clar It's so much better than recess.
You're gonna love it so mu Percy! Who are these guys? It's supposed to be a secret.
We want to have a fun recess! And besides, you brought that man.
Okay, fine.
But everyone be really careful and hide, and I'll give you the signal.
Clarence.
Two days in a row.
Looks like you and I are gonna be having a man-to-man talk about a little thing I like to call respect.
Now, 10 years ago, I was a lot like 3, 2, 1 Hey! Man, he's really out.
Guess what I put the rat in the meatballs, and you'll never know! Quit it, Sumo.
Don't mess this up for me.
Hey, there's something in this cabinet, but it appears to be locked.
Whooooa! What's this junk? Yippee! Me have a cold.
Ah-choo! Awww! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! There's so many toys! I don't know which one I want to play with first! - What are you guys doing? - Oh, it's the Po-Po.
Oh.
Hey, Jeff.
How's it going, my casual friend? This is wrong.
Where is Mr.
Reese? Did you guys kill him?! This is unbelievable! I'm going to inform an adult.
No, Jeff, this isn't what it looks like.
Just a couple of bad detention kids not playing and being good kids that's it.
Sorry, Clarence.
This is the duty of a Hall Monitor.
Yeah, well, this isn't a hall.
Could you just be cool? Be cool? - Yeah.
- Come on.
Please.
- Please? - Jeff, why? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
I'm a cool guy.
Hey, who wants to par-ty? Yeah! It's rock 'em in one corner and sock 'em in the other.
Who's gonna win the fight of a century? Oh.
Okay.
Well, that was quick.
Jeff is cool.
Jeff is cool.
All right, nerd heads, recess is almost over.
Wrap it up.
I'll see you darlings tomorrow.
That closet is the best thing this school's ever given us.
Yeah.
Thanks for not telling on us, Jeff.
- That was pretty cool.
- Of course.
Hi, Jeff.
Hey, you guys doing this again tomorrow? 'Cause I think I could make some improvements.
Mehhh! Clarence, baby! Get in here, you! Welcome to detention.
Feel free to use the coat check, if you need one.
Jeff, when did you do all this? - Aren't you scared of getting caught? - Clarence, baby, don't worry.
I switched the coffee in the teachers lounge to decaf, and I doubled Mr.
Reese's doughnut count.
It's all smooth sailing, baby.
- We got this thing down to a science.
- Uhhh Uh, excuse me, El Jeffé.
We just wanted to tell you this place really rocks.
- Yeah.
It's really cool.
- I love everything in here.
You ladies are too kind.
You know what? You can all hang out in the V.
I.
K.
area.
- Percy approves.
- Okay.
See ya.
- The V.
I what? - Oh! Clarence! Oh, I'm so glad you showed up, babe.
- I really need you.
- Really? Uh, uh, uh, number 23.
Ugh.
Thank goodness.
It's finally my turn.
I'll have a green tauntinator.
Okay, a green tauntinator green tauntinator - Ugh.
He is super-slow.
- I saw it here somewhere.
Recess will be over soon! I'm gonna take toys myself! No, sir, you have to wait for your number.
My number is "no waiting"! So I said, "some assembly is required.
" Excuse me, ladies.
Listen up, everyone.
I've got a surprise planned that'll knock your socks off.
What?! What?! Hey, friends, I just noticed it's a really nice day out.
Why don't we just go outside and play today, huh? Outside is lame.
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Ahh.
It's so nice.
Wheee! Surprise! Surprise! Okay.
You asked for it.
Now you got it.
Wo-o-o-o-o-o Ta-da! A Pego block statue of yourself? Really? Don't you guys think it's cool? Uh, at least there are a lot of pieces here that I can play with.
- I-I superglued them together.
- What? Hm.
Wait! Wait! I-I was just kidding.
I was just kidding! I have the real big surprise hiding right over here.
You're gonna love it! I promise! Uh I have this hilarious-dark humor card.
This place used to be cool, but now it's all the same toys over and over.
Yeah.
Let's get out of here.
Ladies! Wait! Detention is still happenin'! - Sumo? - Uh, I quit.
Party's over, kids.
Hey, everyone.
Look at Clarence.
He's having crazy fun.
Even Ms.
Shoop is playing with him.
- Clarence, wiggle your bum! - Okay.
I'm trying.
- I'm trying! I'm trying! - Wiggle your bum! Okay, okay, okay.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
That looks really fun.
Yeah.
We haven't played outside for a long time.
I have dibs on monkey bars! Yeah! - Outside! - Guys! Guys! Don't go! L-Listen to this! It's gonna get real crazy.
Jeff! Are you responsible for this? - Uh uh, well, yeah, uh - Kid, you've got to be one of the most irresponsible Hall Monitors I've ever seen.
I'm stripping you of your duty! What the? - Mr.
Noles! - Crud!