Gintama (2005) s01e39 Episode Script
Ramen Shops with Long Menus Never Do Well
Keep the room well-lit and watch from a distance, okay? [Shinsengumi: the armed police of Edo.
Today, they crack down on lanternless bicycles.]
[Wanted: Kotaro Katsura.
Today, he is not a fruit punch samurai.
.]
["Ramen Shops with Long Menus Never Do Well".]
Just a minute.
Okay, stop.
You're in violation, mister.
You're supposed to have a lantern when riding at night.
Let me see now Is this bicycle registered for theft prevention? I'm not sure.
I got this from a friend.
I see.
Are you on your way home from shopping? Got any girlie mags? Porno mags? Uh, can I go now? I'm kinda busy.
We've had lot of panty burglaries around here recently.
You know? The masked phantom loincloth burglar broke out of prison again.
I prefer boxers.
Bye.
Hang on, buddy, do you have any ID? Hey, mister! Commander Okita.
That long hair! Found you at last! Katsura! Farewell, Katsura.
Farewell.
It's Katsura, of the Anti-foreigner faction.
He's somewhere nearby! Find him! We have to catch him! I'm not letting you get away, Katsura.
That's Katsura, come out peacefully.
We're not letting you get away.
Give it up! He's injured.
He couldn't have gone far! Hey, doesn't look like he's here.
Try the other side.
He's got to be around here! Find him! This isn't looking good.
They have me surrounded.
Looks like the end of the line for me.
Good evening.
I'm Santa Claus.
Good grief.
You were asking for it.
It's your fault for being there when a panty burglar is on the lose.
That bowl makes us even.
I run a ramen shop, so it's the best I can do.
I'm the owner here.
The name's Ikumatsu.
[Note: Ramen is egg noodles made with wheat.
Soba is made with buckwheat and fillers.]
I'm Katsura.
My favorite food is soba.
Meaning what? I should give you soba instead? I see Just what were you doing on the roof, anyway? Oh you know.
I took a wrong turn.
Oh, so you were walking on the roof because you were lost? Were you headed to the moon or something? No, no.
That's not it at all.
I made a wrong turnin life.
You are the panty burglar, aren't you?! Everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet they don't want to talk about.
But let me say this: I'm not a thief.
Look in the mirror.
You'll see suspicious long hair.
Are you No.
I'm just, you know, checking the weather.
Seriously Tsk, what awful weather.
Ikumatsu-dono, may I stay here until the rain blows over? Rain? I don't hear any rain.
I'll tell you the truth I'm a ramen hunter.
I travel Japan seeking the Way of Ramen.
Your ramen is exquisite.
Let me study under you.
Didn't you say you liked soba earlier? Ramen and soba are similar.
They're both long.
You have no right to talk about ramen! Anyway, there's nothing to gain from working here.
The only kind of customers I get are Ikumatsu-chan! Lookin' good! Don't be cold, baby! Your dear younger brother just dropped byfor a little visit.
Younger brother? That's a joke.
After Daigo died, you and I are not related anymore.
Don't be so cold.
And here I came all the way to see how my big bro's widow is doing.
This was originally my brother's shop, you know.
When he died, I was supposed to get it.
But you said you wanted it so bad I should get a little paycheck for my generosity, huh? Money again?! I don't have any more to give you! Welcome! May I take your order? Hey! What do you think you're pulling? What restaurant did you come from?! You got no money, but hired a waiter? I'm not a waiter, I'm Katsura.
Haven't decided? Then you'll all be having fried rice.
No, we didn't say anything about fried rice.
We didn't come here for a meal.
Beat it! Beat it! May I recommend our house special? Our B Course? [Note: Off Course is the name of a Japanese singing group.
.]
B Course, Off Course, it doesn't matter.
Just be quiet.
I have something important to discuss with Ikumatsu! All right then, Ikumatsu-dono.
Three fried rice please.
What's with the fried rice?! The fried rice is the appetizer.
Our B Course comes with an entrée and dessert.
That's a big appetizer! Just shut up! Ignore him.
Ikumatsu, hurry and hand over the money, baby.
Give it up.
The last time I gave you money, I told you that was it.
And besides, I heard you guys you claim to be rebels But you broke into Mr.
Akezato's safe, didn't you? It costs money to run a rebellion, bitch! Give it to us and we won't have to steal! You're no rebels! You're just a bunch of losers trying to make yourselves look good!! Even the Shinsengumi gathering outside Aren't even bothering with little chumps like you! Scum like you make me sick! If it wasn't for trash like you, Daigo might still be What, bitch?! Your main entrée, sir.
Shut up! Beat it! Fried rice again?! The entrée is fried rice?! Shrimp fried rice.
For dessert, we have cold fried rice.
It's nothing but fried rice! What is this obsession you have with fried rice?! What are you some kind of fried rice fetishist? What the?! All of a sudden, my stomach! Mine, too.
Dang, this beyond wanting to shit, this is I gotta get to Thejohn.
Occupied.
Damn you! My stomach I can't hold it You put something in the fried rice, didn't you?! Dammit! We won't forget this! Oh no! It's coming.
[Have you seen someone like this?.]
No one looks like that.
That was well done, you What're you talking about? All I did was provide service, as a waiter should.
Weren't you seeking the Way of Ramen? Well Let's say I'm a waiter seeking the Way of Ramenand leave it at that.
You're an odd fellow.
Sticking your nose into a troublesome situation.
Well, never mind.
Whether it's until the rain stops, or until you master the Way of Ramen, or until your injuries heal I'll let you stay here.
Ikumatsu-dono.
But I'm going to work you hard.
What're you just standing there for? Weren't you going to study hard and steal my flavor? No, I think there are many things in this world people are glad they never see.
Like behind the scenes of the male host business, or a boyfriend's cell phone messages What is it you're trying to say? N-No, nothing really All right, listen.
Speed is the lifeblood of ramen.
Here ya go.
Say, you're pretty good.
Say, could you do a delivery for me? Ow ow ow ow.
It's raining hard.
It's not raining.
What are you, anyway? Are you like a kid who doesn't want to go to the dentist? Ow She trusts me too much.
Have you found him yet? Please relax.
We have everything under control.
The Katsura dragnet is closing in on him.
It's only a matter of time before he gives himself away.
I hope you're right.
Katsura has an injured leg.
We won't let him escape.
What is it? Nothing, I just thought it was unusual.
This is the first time I've ever seen you work so hard.
You're the unusual one, Hijikata-san.
No other creature in existence eats his dumplings with that on it.
Really? Want some? It's delicious.
Absolutely not.
We're up against Katsura.
We can't let down our guard.
You don't need to remind me.
Excuse me, sir What is that? What in the hell?! Don't let your guard down, Vice-chief.
That damn long-hair made a fool of us He won't get away with this.
But he seemed quite strong.
Yeah, I don't know if we would win even if we ganged up on him.
Relax.
Who said we're going to take that kind of risk.
I have an idea.
[Someone please adopt me.
.]
Mommy, I want that! Don't look in its eyes.
You'll be possessed! [Daigo Ramen.]
Oh, snacks.
How thoughtful of you.
I can be sometimes.
It's just a little something for all your hard work.
Well, Good work today.
Huh? What's this? Can you tell? I spent a little extra.
Yes, it's delicious.
Yohei brews great sake.
It's great.
Deliciousyou say? I've been thinking about this for a while.
Your ramen, Ikumatsu-dono Something's missing? I know something is missing.
Then you'll have to add whatever is missing.
It's not that simple to put in what's missing, that is.
It's a heavy burden If you already know that, then I have nothing more to say.
But you know what they say Ignorance is bliss.
No, it's not.
Because I already know.
You said you weren't going to say anything! It's like chanting sutras to a horse.
What's that supposed to mean? You calling me a horse? [Note: Similar to the saying "perserverence will prevail".
.]
Sit three years on a stone.
What would that do? Where's the benefit in that? It seems we're getting farther from the point of this conversation! Look, what I'm trying to say is I know.
I can't leave things the way they are, right? Ikumatsu-dono.
My husband was murdered by rebels.
We made a vow that together, we would become the top ramen shop in Edo, but he got involved in an incident and that was it.
Saving the country by hurting innocent people is bullshit.
Spinning their noble-sounding words and then destroying whatever they want How many of them, I wonder, truly care about their country? If they can't even save the people right in front of them.
There's no way they can save the country.
Patriots my ass.
Samurai my ass.
I hate them all.
[Please hire me.
.]
Sorry, I can't.
I can't hire someone like you.
[Give me a chance.
.]
No.
This is why I don't want you.
Ikumatsu-dono, two tonkotsu.
[Note: Tonkotsu is a ramen in a soup made with collagen-rich pork bone broth.]
Coming right up! Say, say, Ikumatsu-chan Yes? Who's the handsome waiter? You go, girl! You never used to let any men get near you after your husband died You devil you! It's not like that! He's just helping out! What's so handsome about him, anyway? Look at that hair! Men look best in crew cuts.
That's what you say, but I'll bet you don't totally dislike him.
No way.
Really? Hey now.
Ikumatsu-dono.
We need totalk Ikumatsu-dono.
Where'd she go? Hey, are you sure it's okay to sell off your sister-in-law? Hey, she said it herself.
She's no relative of mine! [Watch the store.
I have to make a delivery.
.]
She does trust me too much.
I gave her plenty of chances to do right by me, but she wouldn't play.
Time to cash out my investment.
Then I'll sell the shop.
I can't stay here.
I can't hurt Ikumatsu-dono.
Andshe makes me question myself.
I hate them all! Oh, a new guy, eh? Want some bread crust? She oughta bring enough to pay for a good spree.
What're you talking about? These funds are for the rebellion.
Yeah, right.
You'll lose it all gambling! Why is her delivery bike here? All right, just a minute, guys.
Hold on a minute! We're looking for a rebel terrorist who's been seen around here.
I'm sure you're eager to cooperate.
What're you guys doing? Are you on the job? What's in here? Got any girlie magazines? Porno? Mind if we take a look inside? Yikes! What're the Shinsengumi doing here?! Wait! Just a minute! If they find out, they'll arrest us! Hurry! No doubt about it! Katsura must be in there! After th Katsura! But how?! Die! Katsura! Katsura?! Don't tell me that was the Katsura?! Kotaro Katsura?! He's a real rebel fighter! The Unstoppable Kotaro Katura?! We're in trouble! Ditch the palanquinand run! Your desserts I've brought themfor you! I have just two things to tell you.
One: Don't ever pose as a rebel fighter again.
Two: Never pass through the curtain of that ramen shop.
Violate either, and I promise you paymentfrom the hand of Kotaro Katsura.
This is Unit One.
We found Katsura! Send backup immediately.
Katsura! Looks like we don't have time to chat.
Ikumatsu-dono, thank you for everything.
And I'm sorry.
I knew the whole time.
I'm like you.
I don't have what it takes to ignore someone who's in trouble.
I'm a fool.
So don't apologize.
I see.
Then let me just say this Thank you.
Katsura! Huh? [Look at my hair.
Poor.
.]
Welcome Gin-san, long time no see.
Hi.
I got some money for a change It's been a while, so Let's see What shall I have? Huh? I don't remember soba being on the menu? Care to try it? [Trailer.]
A city of constant rain where it rained all year long That was our home.
Others may have seen it as a sewer canal, but it was a great place to live for sewer rats.
Pappy! [Gin Tama.]
The parasitic alien will use any organism-a dog, a cat-as its host.
Ready! If I don't stop it, who will? G-Gin-san I'm in too! It's all over, aliens! [Gin Tama.]
[The Umibozu arc starts in the next episode.
.]
Just tell them Umibozu is calling.
[The man who appeared before Gintoki and his friends was Kagura's Pappy Say what?!.]
[The alien hunter, Umibozu.
A legend who travels the Universe.
.]
Today, they crack down on lanternless bicycles.]
[Wanted: Kotaro Katsura.
Today, he is not a fruit punch samurai.
.]
["Ramen Shops with Long Menus Never Do Well".]
Just a minute.
Okay, stop.
You're in violation, mister.
You're supposed to have a lantern when riding at night.
Let me see now Is this bicycle registered for theft prevention? I'm not sure.
I got this from a friend.
I see.
Are you on your way home from shopping? Got any girlie mags? Porno mags? Uh, can I go now? I'm kinda busy.
We've had lot of panty burglaries around here recently.
You know? The masked phantom loincloth burglar broke out of prison again.
I prefer boxers.
Bye.
Hang on, buddy, do you have any ID? Hey, mister! Commander Okita.
That long hair! Found you at last! Katsura! Farewell, Katsura.
Farewell.
It's Katsura, of the Anti-foreigner faction.
He's somewhere nearby! Find him! We have to catch him! I'm not letting you get away, Katsura.
That's Katsura, come out peacefully.
We're not letting you get away.
Give it up! He's injured.
He couldn't have gone far! Hey, doesn't look like he's here.
Try the other side.
He's got to be around here! Find him! This isn't looking good.
They have me surrounded.
Looks like the end of the line for me.
Good evening.
I'm Santa Claus.
Good grief.
You were asking for it.
It's your fault for being there when a panty burglar is on the lose.
That bowl makes us even.
I run a ramen shop, so it's the best I can do.
I'm the owner here.
The name's Ikumatsu.
[Note: Ramen is egg noodles made with wheat.
Soba is made with buckwheat and fillers.]
I'm Katsura.
My favorite food is soba.
Meaning what? I should give you soba instead? I see Just what were you doing on the roof, anyway? Oh you know.
I took a wrong turn.
Oh, so you were walking on the roof because you were lost? Were you headed to the moon or something? No, no.
That's not it at all.
I made a wrong turnin life.
You are the panty burglar, aren't you?! Everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet they don't want to talk about.
But let me say this: I'm not a thief.
Look in the mirror.
You'll see suspicious long hair.
Are you No.
I'm just, you know, checking the weather.
Seriously Tsk, what awful weather.
Ikumatsu-dono, may I stay here until the rain blows over? Rain? I don't hear any rain.
I'll tell you the truth I'm a ramen hunter.
I travel Japan seeking the Way of Ramen.
Your ramen is exquisite.
Let me study under you.
Didn't you say you liked soba earlier? Ramen and soba are similar.
They're both long.
You have no right to talk about ramen! Anyway, there's nothing to gain from working here.
The only kind of customers I get are Ikumatsu-chan! Lookin' good! Don't be cold, baby! Your dear younger brother just dropped byfor a little visit.
Younger brother? That's a joke.
After Daigo died, you and I are not related anymore.
Don't be so cold.
And here I came all the way to see how my big bro's widow is doing.
This was originally my brother's shop, you know.
When he died, I was supposed to get it.
But you said you wanted it so bad I should get a little paycheck for my generosity, huh? Money again?! I don't have any more to give you! Welcome! May I take your order? Hey! What do you think you're pulling? What restaurant did you come from?! You got no money, but hired a waiter? I'm not a waiter, I'm Katsura.
Haven't decided? Then you'll all be having fried rice.
No, we didn't say anything about fried rice.
We didn't come here for a meal.
Beat it! Beat it! May I recommend our house special? Our B Course? [Note: Off Course is the name of a Japanese singing group.
.]
B Course, Off Course, it doesn't matter.
Just be quiet.
I have something important to discuss with Ikumatsu! All right then, Ikumatsu-dono.
Three fried rice please.
What's with the fried rice?! The fried rice is the appetizer.
Our B Course comes with an entrée and dessert.
That's a big appetizer! Just shut up! Ignore him.
Ikumatsu, hurry and hand over the money, baby.
Give it up.
The last time I gave you money, I told you that was it.
And besides, I heard you guys you claim to be rebels But you broke into Mr.
Akezato's safe, didn't you? It costs money to run a rebellion, bitch! Give it to us and we won't have to steal! You're no rebels! You're just a bunch of losers trying to make yourselves look good!! Even the Shinsengumi gathering outside Aren't even bothering with little chumps like you! Scum like you make me sick! If it wasn't for trash like you, Daigo might still be What, bitch?! Your main entrée, sir.
Shut up! Beat it! Fried rice again?! The entrée is fried rice?! Shrimp fried rice.
For dessert, we have cold fried rice.
It's nothing but fried rice! What is this obsession you have with fried rice?! What are you some kind of fried rice fetishist? What the?! All of a sudden, my stomach! Mine, too.
Dang, this beyond wanting to shit, this is I gotta get to Thejohn.
Occupied.
Damn you! My stomach I can't hold it You put something in the fried rice, didn't you?! Dammit! We won't forget this! Oh no! It's coming.
[Have you seen someone like this?.]
No one looks like that.
That was well done, you What're you talking about? All I did was provide service, as a waiter should.
Weren't you seeking the Way of Ramen? Well Let's say I'm a waiter seeking the Way of Ramenand leave it at that.
You're an odd fellow.
Sticking your nose into a troublesome situation.
Well, never mind.
Whether it's until the rain stops, or until you master the Way of Ramen, or until your injuries heal I'll let you stay here.
Ikumatsu-dono.
But I'm going to work you hard.
What're you just standing there for? Weren't you going to study hard and steal my flavor? No, I think there are many things in this world people are glad they never see.
Like behind the scenes of the male host business, or a boyfriend's cell phone messages What is it you're trying to say? N-No, nothing really All right, listen.
Speed is the lifeblood of ramen.
Here ya go.
Say, you're pretty good.
Say, could you do a delivery for me? Ow ow ow ow.
It's raining hard.
It's not raining.
What are you, anyway? Are you like a kid who doesn't want to go to the dentist? Ow She trusts me too much.
Have you found him yet? Please relax.
We have everything under control.
The Katsura dragnet is closing in on him.
It's only a matter of time before he gives himself away.
I hope you're right.
Katsura has an injured leg.
We won't let him escape.
What is it? Nothing, I just thought it was unusual.
This is the first time I've ever seen you work so hard.
You're the unusual one, Hijikata-san.
No other creature in existence eats his dumplings with that on it.
Really? Want some? It's delicious.
Absolutely not.
We're up against Katsura.
We can't let down our guard.
You don't need to remind me.
Excuse me, sir What is that? What in the hell?! Don't let your guard down, Vice-chief.
That damn long-hair made a fool of us He won't get away with this.
But he seemed quite strong.
Yeah, I don't know if we would win even if we ganged up on him.
Relax.
Who said we're going to take that kind of risk.
I have an idea.
[Someone please adopt me.
.]
Mommy, I want that! Don't look in its eyes.
You'll be possessed! [Daigo Ramen.]
Oh, snacks.
How thoughtful of you.
I can be sometimes.
It's just a little something for all your hard work.
Well, Good work today.
Huh? What's this? Can you tell? I spent a little extra.
Yes, it's delicious.
Yohei brews great sake.
It's great.
Deliciousyou say? I've been thinking about this for a while.
Your ramen, Ikumatsu-dono Something's missing? I know something is missing.
Then you'll have to add whatever is missing.
It's not that simple to put in what's missing, that is.
It's a heavy burden If you already know that, then I have nothing more to say.
But you know what they say Ignorance is bliss.
No, it's not.
Because I already know.
You said you weren't going to say anything! It's like chanting sutras to a horse.
What's that supposed to mean? You calling me a horse? [Note: Similar to the saying "perserverence will prevail".
.]
Sit three years on a stone.
What would that do? Where's the benefit in that? It seems we're getting farther from the point of this conversation! Look, what I'm trying to say is I know.
I can't leave things the way they are, right? Ikumatsu-dono.
My husband was murdered by rebels.
We made a vow that together, we would become the top ramen shop in Edo, but he got involved in an incident and that was it.
Saving the country by hurting innocent people is bullshit.
Spinning their noble-sounding words and then destroying whatever they want How many of them, I wonder, truly care about their country? If they can't even save the people right in front of them.
There's no way they can save the country.
Patriots my ass.
Samurai my ass.
I hate them all.
[Please hire me.
.]
Sorry, I can't.
I can't hire someone like you.
[Give me a chance.
.]
No.
This is why I don't want you.
Ikumatsu-dono, two tonkotsu.
[Note: Tonkotsu is a ramen in a soup made with collagen-rich pork bone broth.]
Coming right up! Say, say, Ikumatsu-chan Yes? Who's the handsome waiter? You go, girl! You never used to let any men get near you after your husband died You devil you! It's not like that! He's just helping out! What's so handsome about him, anyway? Look at that hair! Men look best in crew cuts.
That's what you say, but I'll bet you don't totally dislike him.
No way.
Really? Hey now.
Ikumatsu-dono.
We need totalk Ikumatsu-dono.
Where'd she go? Hey, are you sure it's okay to sell off your sister-in-law? Hey, she said it herself.
She's no relative of mine! [Watch the store.
I have to make a delivery.
.]
She does trust me too much.
I gave her plenty of chances to do right by me, but she wouldn't play.
Time to cash out my investment.
Then I'll sell the shop.
I can't stay here.
I can't hurt Ikumatsu-dono.
Andshe makes me question myself.
I hate them all! Oh, a new guy, eh? Want some bread crust? She oughta bring enough to pay for a good spree.
What're you talking about? These funds are for the rebellion.
Yeah, right.
You'll lose it all gambling! Why is her delivery bike here? All right, just a minute, guys.
Hold on a minute! We're looking for a rebel terrorist who's been seen around here.
I'm sure you're eager to cooperate.
What're you guys doing? Are you on the job? What's in here? Got any girlie magazines? Porno? Mind if we take a look inside? Yikes! What're the Shinsengumi doing here?! Wait! Just a minute! If they find out, they'll arrest us! Hurry! No doubt about it! Katsura must be in there! After th Katsura! But how?! Die! Katsura! Katsura?! Don't tell me that was the Katsura?! Kotaro Katsura?! He's a real rebel fighter! The Unstoppable Kotaro Katura?! We're in trouble! Ditch the palanquinand run! Your desserts I've brought themfor you! I have just two things to tell you.
One: Don't ever pose as a rebel fighter again.
Two: Never pass through the curtain of that ramen shop.
Violate either, and I promise you paymentfrom the hand of Kotaro Katsura.
This is Unit One.
We found Katsura! Send backup immediately.
Katsura! Looks like we don't have time to chat.
Ikumatsu-dono, thank you for everything.
And I'm sorry.
I knew the whole time.
I'm like you.
I don't have what it takes to ignore someone who's in trouble.
I'm a fool.
So don't apologize.
I see.
Then let me just say this Thank you.
Katsura! Huh? [Look at my hair.
Poor.
.]
Welcome Gin-san, long time no see.
Hi.
I got some money for a change It's been a while, so Let's see What shall I have? Huh? I don't remember soba being on the menu? Care to try it? [Trailer.]
A city of constant rain where it rained all year long That was our home.
Others may have seen it as a sewer canal, but it was a great place to live for sewer rats.
Pappy! [Gin Tama.]
The parasitic alien will use any organism-a dog, a cat-as its host.
Ready! If I don't stop it, who will? G-Gin-san I'm in too! It's all over, aliens! [Gin Tama.]
[The Umibozu arc starts in the next episode.
.]
Just tell them Umibozu is calling.
[The man who appeared before Gintoki and his friends was Kagura's Pappy Say what?!.]
[The alien hunter, Umibozu.
A legend who travels the Universe.
.]