Young Hercules (1998) s01e39 Episode Script

Cut it out, lolaus, I'm trying to practice, all right? Say hello to Fatuus, Hercules.
Strife.
Any friend of yours is a friend I don't want to meet.
I don't have any friends.
I don't know why.
Well, duh.
Fatuus is the god of unwelcome prophecy.
He can see everything in the future, but they're all generally pretty bad.
He's a real fun guy to hang out with.
Yeah.
Gosh, you gotta be desperate if you're hangin' out with Strife, huh? Mm-hm.
We're here to settle a little bet.
I bet Fatuus that I could outfight the son of Zeus, as in you.
If I win, he has to teach me the secret of prophecy.
If I lose, I have to be his friend for a year.
If you don't fight, you lose.
Ha! I foresee Who's it bad for? Hercules Yes! Is gonna have a bad hair day.
Ah! Ah! Ya! Excuse me.
My name's Pythagoras.
I'm a new cadet.
Can you give me directions to the dining hall? Ah, um, I'm in the middle of a fight here, okay? It takes two to fight, as I understand the term.
Ay-ya! You know one of the best things about bein' a god? Mortals can't see you unless you want them to.
Ah, this is the other thing! Did you, uh, mean to do that? Did you, uh, mean to wear that? I wonder what it's like to break a half-god in half.
Let's find out! In an age of light and darkness, Zeus, King of the Gods, ruled the universe.
He had a son.
Young Hercules.
Half-god, half-man, young Hercules longs to find his place in the world, the father he's never known, and what it means to be a hero.
Before the man became legend, before the legend became myth, came the greatest adventure of all.
You see, Fatuus, I told you I could beat him.
Okay, all right.
I'm fighting the god Strife.
Now get me a staff, please.
I'm afraid the existence of the gods is a scientific impossibility.
He thinks I don't exist, oh! Oh, I get it, this is one of those academy practical jokes, right? Uh, get the new cadet to fight some imaginary god, and then everyone jumps out and laughs at him? Herc, what are you doing? Oh, oh, lolaus, hey, listen, uh, I'm fightin' Strife, only he won't reveal himself.
Well, don't mention me.
I'm not important.
Oh, you're in on the joke, right? What joke? Ayee! Herc, catch! Ya! Ah! What was Strife doing here? There weren't any gods here.
Oh yes, yes, you see, he thinks I'm making this all up.
Iolaus, meet Pythagoras.
He's a new cadet.
New at the academy.
I've been studying science and mathematics with private tutors for years.
Great.
Well, there goes the grading curve.
I was looking for the academy dining hall.
Well, it's closed, but you can get something to eat at Kora's if you want.
You show me where it is, I'll buy you dinner.
You never do that for me.
Shh.
Doesn't believe in gods, huh? Can you believe that? I foresee one day all mortals will stop believing in the gods of Olympus.
And when that happens, we'll cease to exist.
You mean this guy is some kind of trendsetter? Just a little stain removing compound I stumbled on one day while doing an experiment.
It's like magic.
Not magic, just chemistry.
Now come over here and I'll show you some real magic.
- "Just chemistry.
" - "Just chemistry.
" Now bend over, touch your head to the wall, and pick up the chair.
If this is a trick, it better not be on me.
Simply a demonstration.
Now straighten up.
Hm.
Oh yeah, very magical.
You can't do it.
Excuse me.
You're saying Hercules can't pick up that chair? Do you know who his dad is? - Oh - Huh? - No? - No, just no.
- No shh.
- No.
- I'll tell you who his dad is.
- No, don't tell him.
It's Zeus, king of the gods.
He is half-god.
You're telling me he can't pick up that chair? You ever seen this so-called Zeus? I can do it, okay? What people call gods are either hallucinations or natural phenomena.
Okay, ow.
I can't do it.
Your center of gravity is too high.
Weight is distributed differently on the female body.
Yes, it is.
Tada Allow me to introduce myself.
Strife! As in the god of strife.
This is Fatuus.
He's a god too.
Not that it does me any good.
You never give up, do you? You really think some second rate magician pretending to be a god Whoa-hoa.
Eeha, time out.
You say second rate magician? All right, third rate.
He's good.
No, Strife.
What what what do you want? I bet Fatuus here that I could make Little Mr.
Skeptic admit that I'm a god.
Now this joke is getting stale.
Why don't you wash off the makeup No, don't! And tell us who you really are? Ooh! Hike! Forty-eight! Thirty-three! Look at my table.
Ay! I think we should stay right here.
Oh, oh! Iolaus, get up.
Hello, we just got Playing tricks with furniture don't make you a god.
Ha, I'm just gonna bring the whole building down on top of all of you.
Oh Killing me will prove that I'm mortal, but it won't prove that you're immortal.
If you get rid of him before he admits that you're a god, then you lose your bet with Fatuus.
Ooh.
I saw a magician in Athens who used to do his exits the same way.
Hm.
No, no, no, no, no.
So this mortal Pythagoras is running around saying that gods don't exist, so I figured if he had one look at you, I mean, "Ares, god of war,".
Deity with a capital D.
You know your problem, Strife? Which one? You're a god, you're just not very godlike.
Oh, I did my godly power thing, you know? Sh sh sh! Then Hercules got in the way.
Hercules? Hercules and Pythagoras are friends.
Well, sort of.
Oh, I wonder what it feels like to have a friend.
Real gods don't go around trying to prove they're gods.
If a mortal dare not believe in you, you crush him.
How, unc? Zeus has got powers he hasn't used in years.
What you do, you go down to the basement at Olympus, get into his closet, borrow an attribute or two just for a couple of hours.
Uh, thunder, lightning.
Wind? Whatever.
Of course, a power that powerful can be hard to control.
If your aim's just a little off, you might crush Hercules along with Pythagoras, and really, who's gonna blame you, huh? Huh? This could be the perfect opportunity to crush an annoying mortal and Hercules.
A squared minus B squared No, that doesn't work.
Burnin' the midnight oil, Pythagoras? Yeah, I'm just, uh, workin' on this theory I have about triangles.
Why are you still up? Uh, we have to talk.
Thanks.
Okay.
You can believe anything you want about the gods, okay? That's that's fine.
But when you go around saying that the gods don't exist, you put you and everyone else around you in danger, in mortal danger.
W why are you so determined to make me believe in your gods? I'm trying to save your life.
But trying to change your mind is impossible, I see that, so I'll tell you what.
For your sake, I hope Strife feels the same way.
Zeus sure has a lot of closets.
Yeah.
Well you know Zeus.
He never throws anything away.
Let's see what's behind door number one.
Looks like rain.
Ah! Thanks for the forecast.
What do you see behind the next one? I foresee Eh No.
Ah! Make it stop.
I think we should try the next I think we should try the next one.
I foresee No, no, wait! It's the north wind! Get me the bag! Huh? I'll tell you what.
Fatuus, I'll make you a bet.
If I can't crush Hercules with this, I'll be your friend for three years, and if I win, you have to teach me the secret of prophecy.
What do you say? T-t-t-triple or nothing? Huh? Mm, I foresee Oh, never mind.
Wake up! Come on, Pythagoras! Come on! Get up, please, sleepyhead! Huh? Come on, Pythagoras.
We always do this to new cadets.
Sound sleeper.
Oh.
As a great philosopher once said, gotcha.
That's that's very funny.
Let's go get some breakfast before it gets any colder.
Whoa, whoa! No! Is it cold in here, or is it just me? I suppose now you're gonna take credit for a simple change in the weather.
Whoa! It's the gods who make the wind blow! You mortals better remember who's got the real power! Iolaus, get the door! Well, usually he's full of hot air.
Why do you have to keep egging them on like that? Just just pretend that he's a god.
Well, that would be easy, wouldn't it? All you have to do is believe in the gods and forget about everything else.
What are you talking about? My father devoted his life to serving the gods.
Gave everything he had to them and their temples.
His money, his time, and his love till there was nothing left for his family.
That's great.
Herc, what are we gonna do about Strife? Whoa, whoa! Okay.
Now I'm gonna open the bag, and I'm gonna blow the academy down.
This way when I say go.
And go.
The roof's startin' to go.
How do you fight the wind? You have to build fire.
Come on.
Go! Ahee! I foresee Oh, who cares? After I win our little bet, you have to teach me how to be a prophet, and I'll foresee for myself.
Yeah! I foresee I'm going to win the bet and then Strife will have to be my friend.
I can see Strife being my friend, but I can only see the future if it's bad.
Oh! Fire should draw the north wind right up toward the hole in the roof.
And then what? I bag it.
Well, that fire sure is making things a little stuffy in here.
Maybe I can help.
Yeah! Hurry up, Herc! Rise, rise! I'm winning! Woo! I got it! I got an idea.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Ya! I'm not through with you yet! Tie it tight.
I will show you what a real god looks like.
Zee, za! As a great philosopher once said Gotcha.
Whoa! And stay out! Who is responsible for all this? Uh, that was my fault, Cheiron.
Um, well, um, Strife did have a lot to do with it.
Go on, Pythagoras.
It's not our usual practice to turn the academy into a war zone.
I was as stubborn in my skepticism as others are in their superstition.
I made the god Strife angry.
Well, at least, uh, he seemed to be a god.
I I guess it's possible there are such things theoretically.
Oh, come on.
Don't tell me you still don't believe in gods.
Well, let's not rush to judgment.
Admitting you could be wrong is the first step toward wisdom.
Now, you're ready to understand the first law of the academy.
And what's that? If you make a mess, you clean it up.
Now get to work.
All of you.
- Huh? - Hm? Pythagoras, about what you said last night, you know, about my being determined to make you believe in the gods? Well, you were right.
I just took it kind of personally.
Because of your father.
Yeah.
Well, I was the one who was emotional about it because of my father.
Guys.
You worry about the gods too much.
They're there, I'm here.
So what? Live and let live forever.
Seems lolaus is wiser than both of us.
Huh.
- Eh, no.
- No.