Clarence US (2014) s01e40 Episode Script

1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Huh Unh! [School bell rings.]
# It's summertime # Hey! You! Y-Y-You better pick that up! Hey! Hey, you! I'll remember you! [Horn honks.]
No teachers telling us what to do no more Clarence: Ah, yes, it was the Summer, and I couldn't wait to start the Summer.
Fresh out of the school and into the Summer we was.
Sumo was gonna spend all Summer down at the old Aberdale swimming hole, doing cannonballs and catching leeches, and Jeff was gonna spend the whole time doing taxes, or something boring, I think.
And for me, I was getting ready for my first summer job.
My mom said I could help her out at her work for the Summer.
Yep, I was gonna be a working man for the Summer.
That was the dream, at least, but I'll get to that later.
Because I didn't end up doing the stuff, I mean, so I'll talk about why not in a bit.
Because i-it didn't work out.
J-Just watch the thing.
[Brakes squeal.]
[Keys jingle.]
[Bell chimes.]
[Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
[gasps.]
[Sighs.]
[Gasps.]
Aah! I was ready to buck up, face the call, put the pedal metal, and make it to the big leagues, like a regular Don Gunch.
[Gasps.]
[Smooches.]
Mm.
[Neon buzzing.]
[Indistinct talking.]
[Clippers buzzing.]
Once I had mastered the magazines, it was time to move up the corporate ladder.
Like everyone, I started at the bottom.
Hello.
Hip clips.
Thanks for calling.
We're having a special on mayonnaise peel.
Uh, that is, if you like mayonnaise.
Hmm.
She is a very busy woman.
I'll have to check the books.
Uh, one moment, please.
Not now, mom.
I'm trying to play hardball.
After the phones, it was time to get my hands a little dirty.
[Rip.]
Gah! Wow.
That really just came clean off.
But, mom, I'm ready for the duty.
Just one duty chance.
Clarence! I can't have you waxing the customers.
You want a big job? Okay.
I have a very important job for you, all right? Broom duty.
I'm so sorry, sir.
Here.
Let's see if we can get your hair back on.
[Angelic music plays.]
I knew I could handle the 'sponsibility and now was my time to shine.
The ultimate test hair-sweeping duty.
[Gasps.]
[Hums.]
[Humming.]
Oh.
Thank you.
Okay, sweetie, I have you penciled in for Tuesday at 10:00, all right? Clarence, can you take this water out to Chad? Yeah, he must be dying out there.
Okay, and then you must Y-Yeah.
The scalp the scalp rub, too, right? [Chad vocalizing.]
[Up-Tempo music plays.]
Unh! Oh, no! No, wrong way! [Humming.]
- This is for you.
- Aw, thanks, little man.
Um, is there any more of that Whoa! [Grunts.]
Clarence, can you take the trash out back, please? Yes, sir! Yep, everything was going pretty slick at my new job.
[Motorcycle engine revs.]
Oh, yeah, except, one day, this guy came in.
[Engine shuts off.]
Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom! He was a real hothead.
He probably just broke out of jail and was looking for some bad blood.
- Can I help you? - Vroom! Vroom, vroom, haircut! Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom! - Vroom, vroom, vroom.
- So, what kind of haircut The back! Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom! [Hair dryers whirring.]
Hold on, there.
I'll take these.
So, what's your name, sweetie? Gunnar! Vmm vmm vmm vmm vmm vmm vmm vmm.
Okay, Gunnar, and, uh, what kind of haircut - are we getting today? - The back! Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom! Ah, yes, the back.
All right.
Hmm.
Now, you don't want us cutting off - this nice ponytail, though, right? - Uh - No.
- Hmm.
That's what I thought.
Let's see what we can do here.
[Humming.]
Hm.
Perfect.
She tamed the wild beast and his hair.
Ooh! Ooh! My mom was the best.
[Giggles.]
That guy left the salon even more butt-kicking than ever.
Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom! [Tires squeal.]
Mom was a real hero at the salon.
Mwah! Mwah! [Rumbling.]
But some beasts could not be tamed.
[Bell chimes.]
Sandy.
[Gasps.]
- Aah! - Aah! Sandy! I think her name was Sandy.
She started coming in all the time.
Sometimes, she didn't even get a haircut.
She'd just come in to make my mom give her a shampoo.
She was so old.
I think she was a half-robot, even.
Maybe that's why come she's so mean 'cause she's a robot.
- All righty, then.
Just sign he - Where's the blonde? I demand to see the blond one! I only speak with the blonde.
Ugh! A child, working in a salon? - Harrumph! - Hey! That's not [Chuckles nervously.]
That's my son, Clarence, who was, uh, just playing with mommy's broom but is gonna leave our friend Sandy alone now - and sit down, like a good boy, right? - But what about the duty? Why don't you just take a little break for a bit, all right? Awww! Oh, s-so sorry about that, Sandy.
Right this way.
- We'll get you taken care of.
- [Crunch.]
Ooh! Aah! Oooh! [Gasps.]
[Whimpers.]
[teeth chatter.]
My mom and all her haircut friends at my mom's work would always be so nice to Sandy, But she was so mean to them.
[slaps.]
All Summer, every single time, she got meaner and meaner and meaner the works.
Harrumph! Harrumph! Next time, it better look right! And I expect a good bargain! Good day! [Wheels squeal.]
[Chad vocalizing.]
[Vocalizing weakly.]
[Whimpers.]
So hot, so sweaty, so sweaty, so hot [Groans.]
[Rumbling.]
[Gasps.]
[Bell chimes.]
Well, howdy! My name's Willy, and this may sound silly, but I sell chili.
Who wants a sample? - Ooh! I do.
- Here you go, sport.
And now time for a dilly.
Oh, first ya add the beans, and then ya add the greens - # and mix a li'l # - [Bell chimes.]
Aah! Coupon! [Crunch.]
Aah! [Groans.]
That's it! I don't know how you put up with this! I just [Bell chimes.]
- Kevin, wait! - Coupon! Good for one free shampoo.
Harrumph! [Sighs.]
Okay, Sandy, right this way.
[Pot shatters.]
[Crunch, crunch.]
[grunts, groans.]
[Strained.]
Right over here, then, Sandy.
I want the big mirror.
We need to use the sink to wash your hair.
I said I want the big mirror! Okay, Sandy, in for your shampoo, then.
[Wheels squeal.]
I told you I'd be back for a shampoo.
Harrumph! Okay, Sandy, in for your shampoo.
That's nice.
[Chair squeaking.]
I told you I'd be back for a shampoo! - Yes.
I remember.
- And I want the green shampoo.
Oh.
You want the most expensive brand we carry.
- Hm.
You have very good taste.
- Spare no expense! Hmm.
I could've sworn I put some out here.
It must be in the back.
I'll be right back, Sandy.
Harrumph! My patience is not a plaything! Ohh! Where is it? Where the heck is it?! I knew it was in here somewhere.
Come on, come on.
- Uh, mom? Can I tell you - Not now, Clarence.
I'm in a lot of hot water here right now.
Okay, I know I just bought a whole box.
It's around here somewhere.
Come on.
Where are you? Ugh! I wish Sandy never even showed up.
Now mom's looking for some green shampoo, and we don't even have any, and Sandy's probably gonna get all mad and wreck up the place and probably even close up the whole shop.
Aw, Hairence, I don't know what to do! [Rumbling.]
[Angelic music plays.]
[Footsteps stomping.]
You! The other one! Play my favorite song! [Slow instrumental music plays.]
[Dramatic music plays.]
[Wind whistling.]
[Squish.]
[Sighs.]
[Gasps.]
Mom, look! I found some green shampoo.
Ain'tcha proud of me? [Muffled screaming.]
Harrumph! Raaaaaaaah! How How could you?! And you! You just stand there! And and you! Rrrrrrrr! [Wheels squeal.]
Whoooooooa! Aah! [Wheels screech.]
Aah! Aah! Aaaaaaagh! [Bell chimes.]
Hey Aaaaaaah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aaaaaaaaaah! I thought I was gonna be in a lot of trouble.
[Snickers.]
[Laughs.]
But I guess I wasn't after all.
[Laughter.]
I wasn't allowed in the salon anymore, but I got Chad duty, and that was pretty great.
Summertime Gunnar even came back and brought his friends.
And Sandy must've really liked the haircut I gave her, because we never saw her again, so I guess she just kept that same haircut and it never grew.
Summertime Yep, even though things didn't go as planned, the Summer was a lot of fun.
Summertime Ew.