Craig of the Creek (2017) s01e40 Episode Script
Alone Quest
Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
JP: All right.
Y'all ready?
[ Inhales deeply ]
Oh! Oh! Memory!
Oh, all -- all
three of us.
Ooh, that time we had
a monster-themed dance party.
Oh, the time we accidentally
buried you alive!
Ooh, I got it!
That time we tied strings
to your arms
and made you a puppet.
Whew.
Ah, thank biscuits
you guessed it.
I -- I was about to pass out.
JP, you don't need to
hold your breath
when we play charades.
Uh, the rules say no sound,
and I'm committed to
a fair, clean game.
The stage is yours,
Craig.
-Oh. Memory. Memory!
-Memory. Memory.
[ Craig's stomach gurgles,
rumbles ]
Umuh
Oh, the time we pretended
to be statues
so those crows
wouldn't spot us?
Oh, that time
we werestatues?
I have to go home.Hey!
Talking's against the rules,
you dirty cheater!
This isn't part of the game.
I have to go home now.
What? Why?
I just[Exhales sharply]
I have to go.
Oh.
You have to go.
Okay,
so just go outside.
I -- I can't.
Oh.
Why not, Craig?
I think it's 'cause
Craig has to
Stop!
Just don't say it, please.
JP, the bathroom
in your house
is 13 backyards
closer than mine.
What -- How -- How do --
How do you know that?
I have
an emergency bathroom plan
like every kid should![ Gurgling, rumbling continues ]
Ahit's happening!
-Okay. Okay. I'm on it.
I'll get you there,
little buddy.
Just breathe and clench,
breathe and clench.
Kelsey, you comin'?
To watch Craig
take a --
Don't say it!
Hmm.
Nah,
I'll just stay here.
I'm fine
hanging out by myself.[ Mortimer squawks ]
Uh, by myself with Mortimer,
that is.
All right.
We'll miss you.
Go, go, go!
We'll keep you in our hearts,
Kelsey.
[ Grunting ]
All right.
Little steps, Craig,
don't spread
unless you have to.
Ahhh.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Farts ]
[ Echoing ]
Oh, come on.
It's not that bad.
Kelsey: Awesome.
Finally, I have time
to finish
"Robyn and the Snow Sword!"
"Robyn fell down
to the ground,
clutching the wound
on her arm.
Blood spewed forth
like a stream of blood.
The Orc King laughed" --
No, chuckled.
No, laughed.
"Looks like you"
Hmm
Looks like you've been
abandoned once again.
Hey, that's good.
Robyn smirked.
Oh, I'm not alone,
for I have my sword,
my titular snow sword!
Ha! You don't stand a chance.
Only the sword foretold
in the prophecy can defeat me,
and that sword was destroyed
in the fires of Magmaria.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Ah, but you've forgotten
that I,
Robyn with a "Y", age seven,
born with the mastery
of martial weapons
and raised by my uncle
the Wolf Prince,
has slayed
the hordes of demon horses
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.made my way through
your ministry
of secretsNaturally.
discovered your
prophecy orb
MM-hmm. Mm-hmm.and shattered it.
What?
It can't be!
That's right.
My snow sword
is the prophesied sword
of which you speak,
and against all
earthly logic,
Magma only
makes it stronger.
Ah! Robyn the Brave,
you have sealed your fate!
Today is the day
I will introduce you
to your untimely end!
En garde!
Ah!
Yah! Yah!
Yah!
[ Grunting ]
Whoo! Ah.
Oh.
Man, I love writing.
Oh, rats.
Uh, it's locked.
What?
Chill out, buddy.
Don't worry.
I keep a spare key
under one of these six rocks.
Just give me
like a minute.
[ Breathing heavily ]Nope.
Not there.
Not under that one, either.
[ Grunts ]
So, it looks like the key
is officially missing.
What do we do?
I was hoping
it wouldn't have to
come to this,
but we're going to have to
go through the side door.
I always leave it unlocked
just in case.
Are you serious?!
[ Both scream ]
[ Gurgling, rumbling continues ]All right.
Hang in there,
little buddy.
Daddy's gonna handle it.
Oh, gosh!
It moved!
Muh!
I'll get it off.
I ain't afraid
of no spiders.
Spider!
Ah!
Huh?
[ Both screaming ]
[ Screaming continues ]
Shing.
Shing.
Shing.
Shing.
Ow! Ah.
Plenty sharp.
Whip!
[ Chattering ]Hmm?
Ha! Ha!
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
[ Continues grunting ]
[ Laughing ]
Whoo!
♪♪
[ Continues laughing ]
♪♪
[ Continues laughing ]
Ahhh.
It's a beautiful day, Mom.
You hungry, bud?
Ugh, I can't believe
I left my keys at the stump.
Oh, the grumbles are getting
closer together.
-Hello?
-[ Gasps ] Oh, my gosh.
Jessica, let me in.Bernard is studying,
and he told me
not to answer the door
because of strangers.
I'm not a stranger.
I'm your brother!
I don't know that!
You could be wearing a mask.
Or you could be a ghost.
Or the scary guy
from the mattress commercial.
I have to check
your credentials.
[ Growls ]
Just tell her
what you need to do.
No.
We are a family.
We do not talk about
that kind of stuff.
I'm waiting, stranger!
[ Snorts ]Um, okay.
Y-Your birthday
is May 3rd.
Um, you -- you love
your small uncle doll.
Uh, you -- you can't blow
your nose on your own.
You -- you can't drink juice
before bed, or else you'll
Hey! Stop telling
my dirty business
in front of your friend.
I'll open the door.
[ Door handle wiggling ]Which way does it
Do -- Do I turn it
left or right?
Okay. Which way is right?
It's not turning.[ Groaning ]
Oh, that's the handle.
I don't have time
for this!
Just tell me what to do,
Craig! I'll do it.
There's one more place I can go,
but it's weird.
Ugh.
Let's move.
[ Doorknob continues wiggling ]
Got it.
He was a ghost!
Ah
birdseed aplenty.
Ugh, but there's
a squirrel shield --
AKA a girl shield.
Ugh, we're going to have
to be delicate with this one.
[ Mortimer chirps ]
Huh? Ah!
[ Grunting, whimpering ]
♪♪
Whew.
All right,
if we pull this off right,
no one will even know
we were here.
This is a raid!
Go, go, go!
Grab as much
as you can!
Man: Oh, no.
Did you hear that, Gerald?
I think
that squirrel is back.
Ah!
Um, good afternoon,
boys.
Kelsey's not home
because she's
at the creekwith you.
You got to
tell him, Craig.Oh, my gosh.
What happened to my daughter?
What happened to Kelsey?
Uh, you might not want to
shake him like that, Mr. Pokoly.
I -- I -- I
Spit it out, Craig!
I -- IYou're not in trouble!
Just tell me what happened
to Kelsey!
I have to poop!
[ Farts ]
You mean you just --
Do you have any idea
the thoughts that were
Just use
the downstairs bathroom.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
[ Door opens, closes ]It's not an emergency,
but I could also
totally use the bathroom
if that's cool.Bushes.
Kelsey:
And with her last ounce
of strength,
she pulled her sword
from a pile of Orc ashes
and turned to journey home
to her wolf friends
and the warm hug
waiting for her,
but as she walked
into the elven sunset,
something stirred behind her.
Though Robyn was keen of sight,
she did not see the Orc hand
awakening in the ashes,
twitching,
grasping for vengeance.
End of book one.
Ah, finished.
[ Smacking lips ]
JP:
Wow, Craig, I don't know if
it's this light that you're in
or that huge poop
you just took,
but you are glowing,
buddy.
Guys!
Guys, you're back!
So, Craig,
how do you feel?
Amazing.
Like a new boy.
Also,
your dad says hi,
and he treasures
every day with you?
Huh?
So, what did you do
while I was --
while I was pooping?
Oh, let's see
if you can guess.
Oh, you tried on a bunch
of different hats
and pretended to be
a hat model?
Oh, wait. Did you -- Did you
go swimming in the creek
and get a leech
on your foot?
Oh, I know!
Uh, you took some time to do
some personal writing.
Then you went outside
to sharpen your sword.
Wow, JP,
you -- you got it.
But then you got distracted
by a squirrel
Uh-huh.
and chased the leaves
it was dropping
from the treesI did that, too.
and ended up
at the meadow
I don't understand how
you know all this.
and ran through
the grass
Yeah.
and tumbled down
a hill
Yep.
and embraced
the serenity of nature.
I mean, that's
pretty much exact.
Then you went to
steal some seeds
from that one guy's
backyard,
but you nearly got sprayed
by his sprinkler.
-Whoa.
-And you narrowly escaped.
You're blowing my mind,
buddy.
When it's time to go to bed
I know
I don't have to feel alone ♪
'Cause I'll see you tomorrow
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
JP: All right.
Y'all ready?
[ Inhales deeply ]
Oh! Oh! Memory!
Oh, all -- all
three of us.
Ooh, that time we had
a monster-themed dance party.
Oh, the time we accidentally
buried you alive!
Ooh, I got it!
That time we tied strings
to your arms
and made you a puppet.
Whew.
Ah, thank biscuits
you guessed it.
I -- I was about to pass out.
JP, you don't need to
hold your breath
when we play charades.
Uh, the rules say no sound,
and I'm committed to
a fair, clean game.
The stage is yours,
Craig.
-Oh. Memory. Memory!
-Memory. Memory.
[ Craig's stomach gurgles,
rumbles ]
Umuh
Oh, the time we pretended
to be statues
so those crows
wouldn't spot us?
Oh, that time
we werestatues?
I have to go home.Hey!
Talking's against the rules,
you dirty cheater!
This isn't part of the game.
I have to go home now.
What? Why?
I just[Exhales sharply]
I have to go.
Oh.
You have to go.
Okay,
so just go outside.
I -- I can't.
Oh.
Why not, Craig?
I think it's 'cause
Craig has to
Stop!
Just don't say it, please.
JP, the bathroom
in your house
is 13 backyards
closer than mine.
What -- How -- How do --
How do you know that?
I have
an emergency bathroom plan
like every kid should![ Gurgling, rumbling continues ]
Ahit's happening!
-Okay. Okay. I'm on it.
I'll get you there,
little buddy.
Just breathe and clench,
breathe and clench.
Kelsey, you comin'?
To watch Craig
take a --
Don't say it!
Hmm.
Nah,
I'll just stay here.
I'm fine
hanging out by myself.[ Mortimer squawks ]
Uh, by myself with Mortimer,
that is.
All right.
We'll miss you.
Go, go, go!
We'll keep you in our hearts,
Kelsey.
[ Grunting ]
All right.
Little steps, Craig,
don't spread
unless you have to.
Ahhh.
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Farts ]
[ Echoing ]
Oh, come on.
It's not that bad.
Kelsey: Awesome.
Finally, I have time
to finish
"Robyn and the Snow Sword!"
"Robyn fell down
to the ground,
clutching the wound
on her arm.
Blood spewed forth
like a stream of blood.
The Orc King laughed" --
No, chuckled.
No, laughed.
"Looks like you"
Hmm
Looks like you've been
abandoned once again.
Hey, that's good.
Robyn smirked.
Oh, I'm not alone,
for I have my sword,
my titular snow sword!
Ha! You don't stand a chance.
Only the sword foretold
in the prophecy can defeat me,
and that sword was destroyed
in the fires of Magmaria.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Ah, but you've forgotten
that I,
Robyn with a "Y", age seven,
born with the mastery
of martial weapons
and raised by my uncle
the Wolf Prince,
has slayed
the hordes of demon horses
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.made my way through
your ministry
of secretsNaturally.
discovered your
prophecy orb
MM-hmm. Mm-hmm.and shattered it.
What?
It can't be!
That's right.
My snow sword
is the prophesied sword
of which you speak,
and against all
earthly logic,
Magma only
makes it stronger.
Ah! Robyn the Brave,
you have sealed your fate!
Today is the day
I will introduce you
to your untimely end!
En garde!
Ah!
Yah! Yah!
Yah!
[ Grunting ]
Whoo! Ah.
Oh.
Man, I love writing.
Oh, rats.
Uh, it's locked.
What?
Chill out, buddy.
Don't worry.
I keep a spare key
under one of these six rocks.
Just give me
like a minute.
[ Breathing heavily ]Nope.
Not there.
Not under that one, either.
[ Grunts ]
So, it looks like the key
is officially missing.
What do we do?
I was hoping
it wouldn't have to
come to this,
but we're going to have to
go through the side door.
I always leave it unlocked
just in case.
Are you serious?!
[ Both scream ]
[ Gurgling, rumbling continues ]All right.
Hang in there,
little buddy.
Daddy's gonna handle it.
Oh, gosh!
It moved!
Muh!
I'll get it off.
I ain't afraid
of no spiders.
Spider!
Ah!
Huh?
[ Both screaming ]
[ Screaming continues ]
Shing.
Shing.
Shing.
Shing.
Ow! Ah.
Plenty sharp.
Whip!
[ Chattering ]Hmm?
Ha! Ha!
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunting ]
♪♪
[ Continues grunting ]
[ Laughing ]
Whoo!
♪♪
[ Continues laughing ]
♪♪
[ Continues laughing ]
Ahhh.
It's a beautiful day, Mom.
You hungry, bud?
Ugh, I can't believe
I left my keys at the stump.
Oh, the grumbles are getting
closer together.
-Hello?
-[ Gasps ] Oh, my gosh.
Jessica, let me in.Bernard is studying,
and he told me
not to answer the door
because of strangers.
I'm not a stranger.
I'm your brother!
I don't know that!
You could be wearing a mask.
Or you could be a ghost.
Or the scary guy
from the mattress commercial.
I have to check
your credentials.
[ Growls ]
Just tell her
what you need to do.
No.
We are a family.
We do not talk about
that kind of stuff.
I'm waiting, stranger!
[ Snorts ]Um, okay.
Y-Your birthday
is May 3rd.
Um, you -- you love
your small uncle doll.
Uh, you -- you can't blow
your nose on your own.
You -- you can't drink juice
before bed, or else you'll
Hey! Stop telling
my dirty business
in front of your friend.
I'll open the door.
[ Door handle wiggling ]Which way does it
Do -- Do I turn it
left or right?
Okay. Which way is right?
It's not turning.[ Groaning ]
Oh, that's the handle.
I don't have time
for this!
Just tell me what to do,
Craig! I'll do it.
There's one more place I can go,
but it's weird.
Ugh.
Let's move.
[ Doorknob continues wiggling ]
Got it.
He was a ghost!
Ah
birdseed aplenty.
Ugh, but there's
a squirrel shield --
AKA a girl shield.
Ugh, we're going to have
to be delicate with this one.
[ Mortimer chirps ]
Huh? Ah!
[ Grunting, whimpering ]
♪♪
Whew.
All right,
if we pull this off right,
no one will even know
we were here.
This is a raid!
Go, go, go!
Grab as much
as you can!
Man: Oh, no.
Did you hear that, Gerald?
I think
that squirrel is back.
Ah!
Um, good afternoon,
boys.
Kelsey's not home
because she's
at the creekwith you.
You got to
tell him, Craig.Oh, my gosh.
What happened to my daughter?
What happened to Kelsey?
Uh, you might not want to
shake him like that, Mr. Pokoly.
I -- I -- I
Spit it out, Craig!
I -- IYou're not in trouble!
Just tell me what happened
to Kelsey!
I have to poop!
[ Farts ]
You mean you just --
Do you have any idea
the thoughts that were
Just use
the downstairs bathroom.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
[ Door opens, closes ]It's not an emergency,
but I could also
totally use the bathroom
if that's cool.Bushes.
Kelsey:
And with her last ounce
of strength,
she pulled her sword
from a pile of Orc ashes
and turned to journey home
to her wolf friends
and the warm hug
waiting for her,
but as she walked
into the elven sunset,
something stirred behind her.
Though Robyn was keen of sight,
she did not see the Orc hand
awakening in the ashes,
twitching,
grasping for vengeance.
End of book one.
Ah, finished.
[ Smacking lips ]
JP:
Wow, Craig, I don't know if
it's this light that you're in
or that huge poop
you just took,
but you are glowing,
buddy.
Guys!
Guys, you're back!
So, Craig,
how do you feel?
Amazing.
Like a new boy.
Also,
your dad says hi,
and he treasures
every day with you?
Huh?
So, what did you do
while I was --
while I was pooping?
Oh, let's see
if you can guess.
Oh, you tried on a bunch
of different hats
and pretended to be
a hat model?
Oh, wait. Did you -- Did you
go swimming in the creek
and get a leech
on your foot?
Oh, I know!
Uh, you took some time to do
some personal writing.
Then you went outside
to sharpen your sword.
Wow, JP,
you -- you got it.
But then you got distracted
by a squirrel
Uh-huh.
and chased the leaves
it was dropping
from the treesI did that, too.
and ended up
at the meadow
I don't understand how
you know all this.
and ran through
the grass
Yeah.
and tumbled down
a hill
Yep.
and embraced
the serenity of nature.
I mean, that's
pretty much exact.
Then you went to
steal some seeds
from that one guy's
backyard,
but you nearly got sprayed
by his sprinkler.
-Whoa.
-And you narrowly escaped.
You're blowing my mind,
buddy.
When it's time to go to bed
I know
I don't have to feel alone ♪
'Cause I'll see you tomorrow