Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e40 Episode Script
Darkwing Doubloon
# Daring duck of mystery Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes But his number's up # Darkwing Duck When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing, Darkwing Duck # Cloud of smoke and he appears # Master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind that shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure But bad guys are out of luck # 'Cause here comes - # Darkwing Duck - # Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out, you bad boys # Darkwing Duck # # Darkwing Duck # [Darkwing.]
Today, something different, Three hundred years ago there was another masked mallard referred to as Darkwing Doubloon, Seaman Drake, head thataway.
[slurps.]
More tea, Seaman Drake.
And make it quick.
[cackles.]
Yes, Your Majesties.
[gurgles.]
It's the Darkwing Doubloon.
Scourge of the Seven Seas.
Oh, it's only your crew, dear.
Whew! Thank goodness.
[laughs.]
Little do they know.
And I mean that.
[Darkwing.]
And there were super villains then, too, Just like today, In fact,,, ,,,exactly like today, Get any water on me and I'll evaporate you.
You and what navy? [Quackerjack.]
Keep it down, Negaduck's on deck.
Oh, look at me.
I'm shaking like a leaf.
I hope it's not on my account, Bushroot.
Oh, no, no, no, captain.
Ship off port! [giggles.]
It's play time! The King's ship! The King's jewels! Up anchor, bring her about! [snoring.]
Avast! You've been boarded by Negaduck! Oh, thank goodness.
I thought it was the Darkwing Doubloon.
[growling.]
Everyone talks about the Darkwing Doubloon.
If I ever meet him, I'll show him what a pirate really is! Seaman Drake! Do something! [clears throat.]
Unhand the King's jewels, scoundrel.
Ha ha ha ha! You forgot the rest of your sword, cur.
I think not.
[electrical zapping.]
[nervous giggling.]
Here, let me help you with that.
Oh, my jewels.
Whatever shall I do? [Drake.]
Help.
The King's ship is sinking.
Save yourselves.
She's going down, sire.
Quick! To the lifeboat! Save yourselves.
It's my duty to go down with the royal vessel.
Under the guise of the fearsome pirate, the Darkwing Doubloon, I strike for justice! [growling.]
I wonder what wrong we'll right today.
Beats me.
Just so there's lots of sailing.
- [rumbling.]
- The Terror is with you.
Doubloon! [stammers.]
I can't even see him.
Oh, hi, Doubloon.
Great news, me buckos.
The King's jewels have been stolen.
Who stole 'em? The alleged pirate Negaduck, who's about to get his swash buckled.
I need my crew prepared to do battle from the King's vessel.
Wait for me there.
One for you, 36 for me.
[rumbling.]
[Darkwing.]
I am the terror that sails the seas.
I am the flea on your parrot.
I am the Darkwing Doubloon.
So, we finally meet, Darkwing Doubloon.
I'm sure you're impressed.
Not bad for a spud-muttering jackanape.
Coming from a yokel-hoisting wave-crasher that is a compliment.
A real pirate always prefers action to talk.
Farewell, Negaduck.
You have beaten the great Darkwing Doubloon.
[screams.]
Splash.
Dimwit buffoon.
Ha! And now, my prize, Negaduck.
I'll summon my crew and you can load the King's jewels on my ship personally.
Never! How scurrilous of you.
I'll take this, as a remembrance of our first meeting, Darkwing Buffoon.
Victory! And then, I chased him up the rigging like a spider monkey, then, off the plank of his own ship.
I bested him at every turn.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Then where are the jewels? My first encounter with Negaduck was to give him a false sense of advantage.
Now we'll show him who's the Scourge of the Seas.
Bring us broadside, LP.
Coming back for this, buffoon? A-ha! Looks like we have the King's jewels, Negaduck.
[groans.]
Go back, go back! Uh-oh.
[Gosalyn.]
Quick, take the jewels and hide 'em.
A-ha! Excellent plan.
But we can't just take them, Gosalyn.
A hero announces his plan, then does it.
We're taking the jewels.
Blathering plan escape.
[shouting.]
[panting.]
Kinda slippery, aren't ya? Good idea.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, woo! - Here, hide some jewels.
- Aye, Gos.
Here, hide these.
We'll take them back to Doubloon's ship.
Righty-o, Gos.
- [lock clicks.]
- [Gosalyn.]
Hey, help, help! - Whoa! - Pirate overboard! - Aye.
- [bonking.]
[Megavolt.]
Hey, give me a hand! - Give up yet, scoundrel? - [grunting.]
[grunting rapidly.]
Poor knave.
I knocked him silly.
[electricity zapping.]
[moaning.]
It's not over yet? Oh, but you are, mate.
Any last words, baboon? That's buffoon I mean, Doubloon.
D-O-U-B-L Whoa! I, Negaduck, have defeated the great Darkwing Doubloon once again.
[crew.]
Yay.
[laughs.]
What a Willy Wonker.
I don't like it that we just took the treasure.
Oh, lighten up, Giz.
[laughs.]
He'll be halfway to Borneo before he realizes we tricked him.
We'd better hide the jewels, just in case that buffoon comes back and gets lucky.
What? Well, at least me treasure's still here.
[grunts.]
What the? That chest is as light as a feather.
Why, that cur, Darkwing Doubloon, he got the better of me! [screaming.]
Oh.
Rough seas.
And they're going to get a lot rougher for you, little sailor.
[gulps.]
Argh! Now we've got us some Darkwing Doubloon bait.
You gotta catch me first! Spirited, eh? [laughs.]
I hate that.
[grunts.]
Stop the kid! A ring, a pendant Where is Gos' share? She must be goofing off again.
Hey, I haven't seen her since we left Negaduck's ship, DW.
- Me neither.
- Well, if she isn't here, she must still be there! Make sail! [stammers.]
All right.
You back off and I'll go easy on ya.
You're being spirited again.
He hates that.
[gulps.]
I know.
Shh! Quiet as ship mice.
[engine revs, tires squeal.]
Flash, smash, sit on 'em! So much for ship mice.
I don't want to have to use this.
Unhand my crew member and I might let you live.
[Negaduck.]
I don't think so, buffoon.
Oh, he means it, Doubloon.
Oh, and don't get spirited.
He hates that.
At least we'll get you back.
We can always collect the jewels.
It seems you have the advantage, Negaduck for now.
The jewels are yours, Negaduck.
Now, return my crew member.
Hmm nah.
What? What? "Nah"? Oh, no! I hate this part.
No, no, no.
I want to win! I want to win! Me, me, me, me! [seagulls cawing.]
[chuckles.]
He's so bad.
Now, remember what you said, DW.
"With pirates, all's fair.
" Never mind.
Right now we need a plan.
Hey, I got it.
Maybe we can sink their ship, DW.
[trills.]
Brilliant, LP, except for the glaring fact that we'd lose Gosalyn and the jewels in the process.
Wait, I've got it.
We'll let him sink our ship.
We'll need lots of pipe, and Giz, we'll need the pump from your armor.
[Gizmoduck's tire squeals.]
And also, don't forget [growling.]
Drat! We can't go to our island and hide the treasure as long as that Darkwing buffoon sails the seas.
[spits.]
Oh, you've got an island.
So that's where you keep your treasure, huh? Ah, you bet we do, missy.
You just told her about the map.
Ha! And he almost told her it's in your cabin under the sextant.
[yelling.]
- I'm gonna kill you for that! - [all shouting.]
[Negaduck.]
Well, well.
What have you got to say for yourself now? You call this a pirate cabin? My room's a lot scarier.
Huh? Hey! What's wrong with my cabin? [explosion.]
[explosions continue.]
Return their fire! Excellent.
According to plan.
He'll think we're sinking and come back to finish us off.
- Then we pounce on him.
- Oh, good.
I like pouncing.
Bring her about.
Negaduck does not run from a fight.
Ready, LP? On my signal.
Signal.
[machine pumping.]
All right at this end, Doubloon.
A-ha! It's working.
[creaking, boards snapping.]
[laughs.]
She's going under! Quick, make another pass.
[all cheering.]
You know, I'm impressed with you.
You'd make a wonderful figurehead on my ship.
Tie her to the bow.
[laughs.]
Sheer child's play, Bushy.
Indeed.
[straining.]
Let me go! Gadzooks! He's got Gos tied to the bow and he's coming right for us.
[stammers.]
Is that part of your plan, DW? No, it's [stammers.]
I mean, of course, LP.
Everything is part of Darkwing Doubloon's plan.
Help! Steer like you've never steered before, LP! Gos's life depends on it.
Yeah, I won't steer you wrong, DW.
Now, full sail! [crazy laugh.]
[gasps.]
It's a trick! Now, Steg, when his ship comes close, throw me like a cannonball onto his deck! [grunting.]
Steg! [screaming.]
Get him! A-ha! Just where I want ya.
Everyone is drawn to your magnetic personality, Megavolt.
- [sighs.]
Missed me.
- [rumbling.]
Hold on, Gos! Like I had a choice, Doubloon.
Now, to finish that buffoon's ship.
- [shouts.]
- Doubloon! [struggling.]
No problem.
- Problem, problem! - Hurry! Good wook, Doubloon, and just in time.
This is all part of my plan really.
- Crew overboard! - Right behind ya! [squeaking.]
Look out below! At last, I am the Scourge of the Seas! [laughs.]
[Gizmo.]
Great to have you back, Gos.
[grunts.]
Yeah.
It's not over yet, DW.
Not over? We lost the King's jewels, the King's ship and my reputation as Scourge of the Seven Seas! We still think you're a scourge.
Yeah, you're the worst.
You know, you're right.
I am.
[chuckles.]
And by gosh, I'm going after Negaduck! And I know right where to find him.
You stole Negaduck's map, Gos? I just borrowed it a little.
All's fair with pirates, Giz.
Now, let's go get Negaduck! Sail me.
I've got the motor power.
All right! [Negaduck.]
We just won a great victory.
And I don't hear any pirate singing.
[all.]
# Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear # Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear # Take a ship, sink a ship take the jewels # Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear - # Take the jewels - [gasps.]
# Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates, I don't hear Doubloon! Like the night, Negaduck, the Darkwing Doubloon returns.
And for the last time.
You've been saying that a lot, Negaduck.
This time's for keeps.
Yeah, right.
You're at wick's end, Doubloon.
- [commotion.]
- [both shouting.]
Well, I'll be.
Me, too.
The King's treasure and Negaduck's crew are onboard, Doubloon.
The Darkwing Doubloon always triumphs in the end.
Don't think you can keep us here, you royal dinghy keeper.
Quiet! Or I'll summon the Darkwing Doubloon.
[all.]
Yeah, quiet! Yep, yep, yep.
Still Scourge of the Seven Seas.
Oh, Your Majesty.
I found these onboard.
You locate a ship for me and now you've found my jewels.
Seaman Drake, you deserve a grand reward.
Oh, serving King and royal family is reward enough for me, Your Majesty.
But this I would treasure, sire.
Very well, Seaman Drake.
It is yours.
Now head, um, uh Thataway.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck
Today, something different, Three hundred years ago there was another masked mallard referred to as Darkwing Doubloon, Seaman Drake, head thataway.
[slurps.]
More tea, Seaman Drake.
And make it quick.
[cackles.]
Yes, Your Majesties.
[gurgles.]
It's the Darkwing Doubloon.
Scourge of the Seven Seas.
Oh, it's only your crew, dear.
Whew! Thank goodness.
[laughs.]
Little do they know.
And I mean that.
[Darkwing.]
And there were super villains then, too, Just like today, In fact,,, ,,,exactly like today, Get any water on me and I'll evaporate you.
You and what navy? [Quackerjack.]
Keep it down, Negaduck's on deck.
Oh, look at me.
I'm shaking like a leaf.
I hope it's not on my account, Bushroot.
Oh, no, no, no, captain.
Ship off port! [giggles.]
It's play time! The King's ship! The King's jewels! Up anchor, bring her about! [snoring.]
Avast! You've been boarded by Negaduck! Oh, thank goodness.
I thought it was the Darkwing Doubloon.
[growling.]
Everyone talks about the Darkwing Doubloon.
If I ever meet him, I'll show him what a pirate really is! Seaman Drake! Do something! [clears throat.]
Unhand the King's jewels, scoundrel.
Ha ha ha ha! You forgot the rest of your sword, cur.
I think not.
[electrical zapping.]
[nervous giggling.]
Here, let me help you with that.
Oh, my jewels.
Whatever shall I do? [Drake.]
Help.
The King's ship is sinking.
Save yourselves.
She's going down, sire.
Quick! To the lifeboat! Save yourselves.
It's my duty to go down with the royal vessel.
Under the guise of the fearsome pirate, the Darkwing Doubloon, I strike for justice! [growling.]
I wonder what wrong we'll right today.
Beats me.
Just so there's lots of sailing.
- [rumbling.]
- The Terror is with you.
Doubloon! [stammers.]
I can't even see him.
Oh, hi, Doubloon.
Great news, me buckos.
The King's jewels have been stolen.
Who stole 'em? The alleged pirate Negaduck, who's about to get his swash buckled.
I need my crew prepared to do battle from the King's vessel.
Wait for me there.
One for you, 36 for me.
[rumbling.]
[Darkwing.]
I am the terror that sails the seas.
I am the flea on your parrot.
I am the Darkwing Doubloon.
So, we finally meet, Darkwing Doubloon.
I'm sure you're impressed.
Not bad for a spud-muttering jackanape.
Coming from a yokel-hoisting wave-crasher that is a compliment.
A real pirate always prefers action to talk.
Farewell, Negaduck.
You have beaten the great Darkwing Doubloon.
[screams.]
Splash.
Dimwit buffoon.
Ha! And now, my prize, Negaduck.
I'll summon my crew and you can load the King's jewels on my ship personally.
Never! How scurrilous of you.
I'll take this, as a remembrance of our first meeting, Darkwing Buffoon.
Victory! And then, I chased him up the rigging like a spider monkey, then, off the plank of his own ship.
I bested him at every turn.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Then where are the jewels? My first encounter with Negaduck was to give him a false sense of advantage.
Now we'll show him who's the Scourge of the Seas.
Bring us broadside, LP.
Coming back for this, buffoon? A-ha! Looks like we have the King's jewels, Negaduck.
[groans.]
Go back, go back! Uh-oh.
[Gosalyn.]
Quick, take the jewels and hide 'em.
A-ha! Excellent plan.
But we can't just take them, Gosalyn.
A hero announces his plan, then does it.
We're taking the jewels.
Blathering plan escape.
[shouting.]
[panting.]
Kinda slippery, aren't ya? Good idea.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, woo! - Here, hide some jewels.
- Aye, Gos.
Here, hide these.
We'll take them back to Doubloon's ship.
Righty-o, Gos.
- [lock clicks.]
- [Gosalyn.]
Hey, help, help! - Whoa! - Pirate overboard! - Aye.
- [bonking.]
[Megavolt.]
Hey, give me a hand! - Give up yet, scoundrel? - [grunting.]
[grunting rapidly.]
Poor knave.
I knocked him silly.
[electricity zapping.]
[moaning.]
It's not over yet? Oh, but you are, mate.
Any last words, baboon? That's buffoon I mean, Doubloon.
D-O-U-B-L Whoa! I, Negaduck, have defeated the great Darkwing Doubloon once again.
[crew.]
Yay.
[laughs.]
What a Willy Wonker.
I don't like it that we just took the treasure.
Oh, lighten up, Giz.
[laughs.]
He'll be halfway to Borneo before he realizes we tricked him.
We'd better hide the jewels, just in case that buffoon comes back and gets lucky.
What? Well, at least me treasure's still here.
[grunts.]
What the? That chest is as light as a feather.
Why, that cur, Darkwing Doubloon, he got the better of me! [screaming.]
Oh.
Rough seas.
And they're going to get a lot rougher for you, little sailor.
[gulps.]
Argh! Now we've got us some Darkwing Doubloon bait.
You gotta catch me first! Spirited, eh? [laughs.]
I hate that.
[grunts.]
Stop the kid! A ring, a pendant Where is Gos' share? She must be goofing off again.
Hey, I haven't seen her since we left Negaduck's ship, DW.
- Me neither.
- Well, if she isn't here, she must still be there! Make sail! [stammers.]
All right.
You back off and I'll go easy on ya.
You're being spirited again.
He hates that.
[gulps.]
I know.
Shh! Quiet as ship mice.
[engine revs, tires squeal.]
Flash, smash, sit on 'em! So much for ship mice.
I don't want to have to use this.
Unhand my crew member and I might let you live.
[Negaduck.]
I don't think so, buffoon.
Oh, he means it, Doubloon.
Oh, and don't get spirited.
He hates that.
At least we'll get you back.
We can always collect the jewels.
It seems you have the advantage, Negaduck for now.
The jewels are yours, Negaduck.
Now, return my crew member.
Hmm nah.
What? What? "Nah"? Oh, no! I hate this part.
No, no, no.
I want to win! I want to win! Me, me, me, me! [seagulls cawing.]
[chuckles.]
He's so bad.
Now, remember what you said, DW.
"With pirates, all's fair.
" Never mind.
Right now we need a plan.
Hey, I got it.
Maybe we can sink their ship, DW.
[trills.]
Brilliant, LP, except for the glaring fact that we'd lose Gosalyn and the jewels in the process.
Wait, I've got it.
We'll let him sink our ship.
We'll need lots of pipe, and Giz, we'll need the pump from your armor.
[Gizmoduck's tire squeals.]
And also, don't forget [growling.]
Drat! We can't go to our island and hide the treasure as long as that Darkwing buffoon sails the seas.
[spits.]
Oh, you've got an island.
So that's where you keep your treasure, huh? Ah, you bet we do, missy.
You just told her about the map.
Ha! And he almost told her it's in your cabin under the sextant.
[yelling.]
- I'm gonna kill you for that! - [all shouting.]
[Negaduck.]
Well, well.
What have you got to say for yourself now? You call this a pirate cabin? My room's a lot scarier.
Huh? Hey! What's wrong with my cabin? [explosion.]
[explosions continue.]
Return their fire! Excellent.
According to plan.
He'll think we're sinking and come back to finish us off.
- Then we pounce on him.
- Oh, good.
I like pouncing.
Bring her about.
Negaduck does not run from a fight.
Ready, LP? On my signal.
Signal.
[machine pumping.]
All right at this end, Doubloon.
A-ha! It's working.
[creaking, boards snapping.]
[laughs.]
She's going under! Quick, make another pass.
[all cheering.]
You know, I'm impressed with you.
You'd make a wonderful figurehead on my ship.
Tie her to the bow.
[laughs.]
Sheer child's play, Bushy.
Indeed.
[straining.]
Let me go! Gadzooks! He's got Gos tied to the bow and he's coming right for us.
[stammers.]
Is that part of your plan, DW? No, it's [stammers.]
I mean, of course, LP.
Everything is part of Darkwing Doubloon's plan.
Help! Steer like you've never steered before, LP! Gos's life depends on it.
Yeah, I won't steer you wrong, DW.
Now, full sail! [crazy laugh.]
[gasps.]
It's a trick! Now, Steg, when his ship comes close, throw me like a cannonball onto his deck! [grunting.]
Steg! [screaming.]
Get him! A-ha! Just where I want ya.
Everyone is drawn to your magnetic personality, Megavolt.
- [sighs.]
Missed me.
- [rumbling.]
Hold on, Gos! Like I had a choice, Doubloon.
Now, to finish that buffoon's ship.
- [shouts.]
- Doubloon! [struggling.]
No problem.
- Problem, problem! - Hurry! Good wook, Doubloon, and just in time.
This is all part of my plan really.
- Crew overboard! - Right behind ya! [squeaking.]
Look out below! At last, I am the Scourge of the Seas! [laughs.]
[Gizmo.]
Great to have you back, Gos.
[grunts.]
Yeah.
It's not over yet, DW.
Not over? We lost the King's jewels, the King's ship and my reputation as Scourge of the Seven Seas! We still think you're a scourge.
Yeah, you're the worst.
You know, you're right.
I am.
[chuckles.]
And by gosh, I'm going after Negaduck! And I know right where to find him.
You stole Negaduck's map, Gos? I just borrowed it a little.
All's fair with pirates, Giz.
Now, let's go get Negaduck! Sail me.
I've got the motor power.
All right! [Negaduck.]
We just won a great victory.
And I don't hear any pirate singing.
[all.]
# Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear # Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear # Take a ship, sink a ship take the jewels # Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates are something to fear - # Take the jewels - [gasps.]
# Pirates are something to fear on the sea # Pirates, I don't hear Doubloon! Like the night, Negaduck, the Darkwing Doubloon returns.
And for the last time.
You've been saying that a lot, Negaduck.
This time's for keeps.
Yeah, right.
You're at wick's end, Doubloon.
- [commotion.]
- [both shouting.]
Well, I'll be.
Me, too.
The King's treasure and Negaduck's crew are onboard, Doubloon.
The Darkwing Doubloon always triumphs in the end.
Don't think you can keep us here, you royal dinghy keeper.
Quiet! Or I'll summon the Darkwing Doubloon.
[all.]
Yeah, quiet! Yep, yep, yep.
Still Scourge of the Seven Seas.
Oh, Your Majesty.
I found these onboard.
You locate a ship for me and now you've found my jewels.
Seaman Drake, you deserve a grand reward.
Oh, serving King and royal family is reward enough for me, Your Majesty.
But this I would treasure, sire.
Very well, Seaman Drake.
It is yours.
Now head, um, uh Thataway.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck