Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e40 Episode Script

- CATS AND COMPANY
HAVE FUN ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
NEW ADVENTURES
EVERY DAY ♪
THE CATS WILL ALWAYS
GET THEIR WAY ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING
WITH THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY MAKE A MYSTERY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
YOU'LL FIND IN EACH
CALAMITY ♪
THE CAT'S SUPERIORITY
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
O-O-OH OH
OH-OH O-O-OH O-OH ♪
CATS AND COMPANY
HAVE FUN ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
NEW ADVENTURES
EVERY DAY ♪
CATS AND COMPANY
THEY CAN WIN I
WITH YOU! ♪
- COME ON,
YOU CAN CATCH HIM.
SPEED UP!
GREAT SHOW,
HUH, HEATHCLIFF?
- WE'LL BE BACK
TO OUR SHOW IN A MOMENT,
BUT FIRST THIS MESSAGE.
REMEMBER, FRIENDS,
NEW PURRFECT CAT FOOD
IS THE ONE YOUR CA
WILL PURR FOR.
NOT ONLY
IS IT DELICIOUS--
- THERE'S A WRESTLING
MATCH I WANT TO SEE
ON ANOTHER CHANNEL.
[GRRRRR]
WHAT THE?
UGHH! WHOA!
[GROANING]
OK, OK. I GIVE UP.
I MUST BE
OUT OF PRACTICE.
- IF YOU'D LIKE YOUR CA
TO BE EXTRA HEALTHY
AND STRONG,
FEED HIM NEW
PURRFECT CAT FOOD.
HE'LL LOVE IT.
AND IF YOU'D LIKE
YOUR CAT TO STAR IN
ONE OF OUR COMMERCIALS,
WE'LL BE HOLDING AUDITIONS
TO FIND ONE FABULOUS FELINE
WHO WILL APPEAR WITH
OUR REGULAR SPOKESCAT,
WINTHROP.
THE WINNER OF
THE AUDITIONS
WILL ALSO RECEIVE
A LIFETIME SUPPLY
OF PURRFECT CAT FOOD.
[ARR ARRRR]
- WHAT WOULD YOU
WANT TO BE ON
TELEVISION FOR?
OH, I GET IT.
THE FREE CAT FOOD.
[MEOWOWWW]
♪♪
HEATHCLIFF, YOU'RE NO
AUDITIONING FOR
THAT COMMERCIAL,
AND THAT'S FINAL.
[MEOW MEOW MEEOWWW]
HEY! WHOA!
UGHH!
PERHAPS I WAS
A BIT HASTY.
OK, OK. WE'LL GO
BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE
WE DON'T GET SEPARATED
AT THE AUDITIONS.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
WEAR THIS LEASH.
[MRREOWWW]
COME ON, HEATHCLIFF.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
TO MAKE SURE
YOU DON'T GET LOST.
HEY, STOP IT!
WHY DO I EVEN TRY?
- ALL RIGHT, PLACES,
EVERYBODY.
WHEN WE DO THE COMMERCIAL,
IT'S GOING TO BE DONE LIVE,
SO WE HAVE TO GET I
RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
ACTION!
GOOD, GOOD.
THAT'S PERFECT.
NOW, GIVE ME
A BIG SMILE.
[BOOING AND HISSING]
ALL RIGHT,
CAT NUMBER 2,
PLEASE GET READY.
HEY! WHAT?
HEH HEH HEH
[LAUGHTER]
BYE-BYE.
THAT CAT'S CAREER
HAS HIT A NEW LOW.
HEH HEH HEH
[SIGH]
CAT NUMBER 3,
IT'S YOUR TURN.
THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
NOW, EAT THE FOOD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
AAAAAH!
- AAH!
- AAH!
- TA-TA.
- OHH
ALL RIGHT, HEATHCLIFF,
YOU'RE NEXT.
- OH, BOY.
- THESE AUDITIONS WILL
GO A LOT SMOOTHER
ONCE WE GET RID OF
THAT TROUBLEMAKER
HEATHCLIFF.
HUH?
CAN WE GET SOME
MAKEUP OVER HERE?
IF I EVER SAW A FACE
THAT NEEDED MAKEUP,
IT'S THIS ONE.
[GRRRR]
STOP CLOWNING AROUND.
NOW, LET'S
GET ON WITH IT.
[CHEERING]
CUT! CUT!
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO
TURN DOWN BRAND "X"
AND EAT PURRFECT.
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S START AGAIN.
ACTION.
[SNIFF SNIFF]
- YECCHH!
NOOOO!
CUT!
THAT'S IT. NEXT!
- I'M SORRY, HEATHCLIFF.
IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU WEREN'T CUT OU
TO BE A SPOKESCAT.
- HUH?
- AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION,
THE WINNER IS
HEATHCLIFF!
AND THE WINNER IS
NUMBER 1, MARVIN!
[CHEERING]
- UH-OH.
- NO, NO. STAY AWAY.
M-MAY I HAVE
YOUR ATTENTION?
THERE HAS BEEN AN ERROR.
DUE TO PERSISTENCE
AND ENTHUSIASM--HEH HEH--
THE NEW WINNER IS
HEATHCLIFF!
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT A THING.
WE'LL REWRITE
THE COMMERCIAL
SO THAT WINTHROP IS
THE PURRFECT KITTY CAT,
AND HEATHCLIFF IS
THE BRAND "X" CAT.
HEH HEH HEH HEH
[CHEERING]
- WHERE WOULD I BE
WITHOUT MY PUBLIC?
I'M THE CA
THAT'S DOING
THE COMMERCIAL WITH YA.
- IS THAT SO?
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE
PERFECT.
A COMMON ALLEY CAT.
WHAT BETTER WAY TO SHOW
THAT BRAND "X" CAT FOODS
ARE FOR BRAND "X" CATS.
- SO THIS IS WHERE
WE DO THE COMMERCIAL.
HEH HEH HEH
LITTLE WINTHROP IS IN FOR
A PERFECT SURPRISE.
FIRST WINTHROP GOES UP
AND THEN
COMES THE BEST PART.
WINTHROP
COMES DOWN.
HEH HEH HEH
[APPLAUSE]
- THANK YOU. HA HA.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OUR SHOW WILL CONTINUE
IN A MOMENT,
BUT FIRST THIS MESSAGE
FROM PURRFECT CAT FOOD.
YOU KNOW, ONLY
A DOWN-AND-OUT ALLEY CA
WOULD LIKE
BRAND "X" CAT FOOD.
BUT A PURRFECT KITTY CA
WOULDN'T BE SATISFIED
WITH ANYTHING LESS
THAN PURRFECT CAT FOOD.
IN FACT, CATS WILL DO
ALMOST ANYTHING FOR
PURRFECT CAT FOOD.
- YEOWWWW
WHEW
YEOWWWW!
- HA HA HA HA HA
- CUT! CUT!
YOU'VE RUINED
MY COMMERCIAL!
- HA HA HA HA
COME BACK HERE!
- WELL, THAT'S SHOW BIZ.
[SOBBING]
- IT SURE IS A SHAME
THE COMMERCIAL TURNED
OUT SO BAD, HEATHCLIFF.
THIS IS FROM
THE BRAND "X"
CAT FOOD COMPANY
THANKING YOU FOR YOUR
LOYALTY TO THEIR PRODUCT?
- HEE HEE HEE HEE
- I MIGHT HAVE GUESSED.
- HEE HEE HOO HOO
[FOG HORN BLOWS]
- I DON'T SEE THE YACHT.
I DON'T SEE
ANYTHING.
- OUT WITH THE TIDE,
SWEETHEART.
ANY MINUTE NOW.
TRUST ME.
IMAGINETROPICAL SUN,
PALM TREES,
WHITE SANDY BEACHES
JUST LISTEN TO
THE SOUND OF THE OCEAN.
- SOUNDS LIKE
A CAT HISSING.
WHICH REMINDS ME
- IF YOU'RE THINKING
OF HECTOR, WORDSWORTH,
AND MONGO,
I PROMISE YOU,
THEY DON'T KNOW A THING
ABOUT OUR TRIP
TO THE SOUTH SEAS.
TRUST ME.
- DUH, I WANT TO PLAY
IN THE OCEAN.
- QUIET. SHH.
- BUT WE ALWAYS GO
WITH RIFFRAFF.
- NOT IF HE HEARS US.
NOW, PIPE DOWN.
[SIGH]
[METAL CREAKS]
- HUH?
- WE'LL BE PULLED IN HALF
CHASING AFTER RIFFRAFF.
- WHAT DID I TELL YA?
A SAILBOAT.
- IS THIS THE SAME BOA
YOU PICKED OUT?
SOMEHOW IT LOOKS
DIFFERENT.
- DON'T WORRY.
IT'S THE FOG
PLAYS TRICKS
WITH YOUR EYES.
COMIN' ABOARD.
- OOF!
- YOUR LUGGAGE, MADAME.
- I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS.
- YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.
IT'S STARTING TO UNWIND.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
THEY BROUGH
THEIR YACHT.
- THAT'S THE BOA
WE WANT.
- BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY
- AND NOW TO OUR
CABINS, MY DEAR.
- BOUNCY, BOUNCY, BOUNCY
WHEEE!
THIS IS GREAT.
- WILL YOU STOP IT,
YOU LUNKHEAD?
- HERE COMES THE SHIP.
I'M LOSING MY GRIP.
- I STOPPED IT, HECTOR.
AIN'T YA PROUD?
- HEY, YOU BOOB,
YOU'RE STRETCHING
THE TUBE.
- OH, NOOOO
- OH, NOOOO
- UGHH!
- ARE YOU GUYS
HAVING A GOOD TIME?
- AHH
AT LAST.
AFTER WEEKS AT SEA,
FINALLY
A TROPICAL ISLAND.
CLEO. LAND HO.
- SOME CABIN.
YOU MEAN WE'RE
FINALLY THERE?
- SEE FOR YOURSELF.
- OHH
A SOUTH SEAS
HOLIDAY,
AND WITHOU
YOUR NERDY FRIENDS
TO MESS IT UP.
- AH, BASICALLY,
THEY'RE OK GUYS.
OF COURSE IT'S
EASY TO SAY THAT,
NOW THAT THEY'RE
SO FAR AWAY.
- OH, THE ISLANDS
DO LOOK ROMANTIC.
RIFFRAFF,
THE ISLAND
- THEY'RE GONNA HATE ME
WHEN I TELL THEM ABOU
THIS VACATION.
HUH?
- RIFFRAFF, WE'RE SAILING
AWAY FROM THE ISLAND.
- SAILING AWAY
FROM THE ISLAND?
- I KNEW I SHOULDN'
HAVE TRUSTED YOU.
LOOK
WHERE WE'RE GOING.
[THUNDER]
UNTIL YOU COME UP
WITH YOUR NEX
BRILLIANT NOTION,
I WILL BE IN
MY SO-CALLED CABIN.
- GIRLS
CAN'T UNDERSTAND 'EM.
YEP. STILL HEADED SOUTH.
WE'LL GET THERE YET.
I'LL JUST WAIT OUT HERE.
CLEO, YOU'RE NO
GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
CLEO?
WHERE'D YOU GE
THIS OUTFIT?
- WHERE ELSE?
IT WAS STORED
IN MY CABIN.
- THAT'S FUNNY--
THERE'S STUFF LIKE THA
IN MY CABIN, TOO.
- MAYBE IT'S A CLUE
ABOUT WHERE
WE'RE GOING.
- SOMEBODY'S COMING.
QUICK. IN HERE.
- DOGS?
YOU'RE HEARING THINGS
IN YOUR SLEEP.
- LAST NIGHT.
ON MY HONOR, HECTOR--
DOGS.
- HEY, MONGO,
YA FEEL ANY PAIN
WITH FROSTBITE
OF THE BRAIN?
- THERE'S DOGS
ON THIS BOA
AND OTHER
ANIMALS, TOO.
I SEEN 'EM
ALL DRESSED UP
FOR A FANCY DINNER.
- AH, BE QUIET.
- DOESN'T IT FEEL
WONDERFUL?
- SO COOL,
SO FROSTY, SO COLD.
- CLEO, SOMETHING WEIRD
IS GOING ON OUT HERE.
- THERE THEY GO, HECTOR.
SEE?
- MONGO, GE
BACK IN HERE.
- HURRY. COME ON,
WE'LL BE LATE.
- OH, I LOVE BALLOONS.
- I TOLD YOU--
THEY'RE ALL DRESSED UP
FOR A PARTY,
AND THEY'RE GONNA
HAVE BALLOONS.
- OH, NO!
- RIFFRAFF, IF YOU'RE
TRYING TO HIDE
SOMETHING FROM ME
- SHH.
- HEH HEH.
WHOOPS.
QUICK, YOU GUYS, HIDE.
[GROWLING]
- WHAT IS THIS?
- DIDN'T I TELL YA?
[BARKING]
- HI, RIFFRAFF.
- HI, RIFFRAFF.
HI, CLEO.
- HEH HEH HEH
[BARKING]
- OH. TWO MORE OF THEM.
- STOWAWAYS. THEY'RE
GOING TO BE SORRY.
- HEY, GUYS
- OUCH!
- OH, LOOK OUT!
- OH, BOY.
THE GANG'S ALL HERE.
- HAVIN' FUN
IN THE SUN.
- THIS IS ALL YOUR
FAULT, RIFFRAFF,
SO YOU'RE
TAKING US TO THE
SOUTH SEAS, HUH?
- THESE ARE
HE SOUTH SEAS.
- IT'S TRUE.
WE'RE GOING SOUTH,
ALL RIGHT
TO THE SOUTH POLE.
- WE'RE ON A
SCIENTIFIC EXPEDITION
TO ANTARCTICA.
WE'RE GOING HOME.
- I WANT TO GO
TO MY HOME.
- DON'T WORRY.
WHEN THEIR
RESEARCH IS OVER,
YOU CAN ALL GO HOME.
- RESEARCH?
- AND HOW LONG
WILL THAT BE?
- OH, IT'S ONLY 2 YEARS.
- 2 YEARS?
- 2 YEARS?
- GRRRR
- UH, GEE, I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN INTERESTED IN SCIENCE.
- GET US OFF OF THIS BOAT!
- WE CAN HAVE
AN EXPEDITION, TOO.
JUST TRUST ME.
- THIS HAD BETTER
WORK, RIFFRAFF.
- NOW!
- WE'RE IN A RUSH,
SO WE GOTTA SAY BYE.
- UP, UP, AND AWAY.
- WHAT ABOUT MONGO?
- DON'T LEAVE ME!
[BARKING]
- HURRY!
[BARKING]
- WHOA!
- HE'S TOO HEAVY.
WE'LL SINK!
- OH, NO!
UH, I GOT AN IDEA.
WHEEE!
- DO COME AGAIN!
- FAT CHANCE!
- WAY TO GO, MONGO.
PULL US OUTTA HERE.
- MUSH. MUSH.
- YOU'RE SO ROMANTIC.
- WE BETTER ACT FAS
BEFORE WE RUN OUTTA GAS.
- HOW YOU GONNA
GET US OUTTA THIS?
- WE, UH, HAVE
A LITTLE SWIM?
- SWIM?
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE OCEAN.
- GRRRR
- GRRR.
- AT LEAST THE
WATER IS WARM.
- WHITE, SANDY BEACHES
PALM TREES
YOU DID IT.
YOU GOT US HERE.
- HEY, WHA
DID I TELL YA?
JUST TRUST ME.
HEH HEH HEH
HEH HEH HEH
HEH HEH HEH
- IT MAY BE CUTE WHEN
YOUR LITTLE PUPPY
JUMPS UP TO GREET YOU.
BUT WHEN HE GETS OLDER
IT MAY NOT SEEM
SO CUTE ANYMORE.
YECCHH!
SO TRAIN YOUR
PUPPY TO SIT,
AND DON'T LET HIM
GET AWAY WITH JUMPING
ON YOUR FRIENDS.
THAT WAY, YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM
AS HE IS TO SEE YOU.
AND THAT MEANS YOU, PUPPY.
- ARF ARF!
- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF JUS
WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
THEY MAKE A MYSTERY
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU! ♪