Phineas and Ferb s01e40 Episode Script

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
We thought it only fair to warn you that the show you're about to see may disturb you.
It may shock you.
It may even horrify you! You've been warned.
Looks like a real summer storm! Well, our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out.
This weather isn't fit for man nor platypus.
Hey.
Where's Perry? Doo be doo be doo ba Doo be doo be doo ba Doo Good morning, Agent P.
The mission you're about to receive may shock you.
It may even horrify you! But then again, probably not, I mean, heh.
You have been doing this for awhile.
Anyway, sorry about the tarp behind me.
Storm caused some water damage, and-- Ooh! Cheese and crackers! Late for my cousin's wedding.
Gotta run.
Doofenshmirtz is up to something.
You know what to do.
Perry! Hmm.
I wonder where Perry goes off to.
Lost your platypus, eh? That reminds me of a really great monster story.
Tell us, Grandpa! It's about Ferb's ancestor.
He was his great-great- great-great-great-great- great-great-great- great uncle.
Great.
It was a long time ago, back in the old country, on a cold moonlit night.
Your great uncle Ferbgor was assisting the famous Dr.
Phineastein in the macabre task of collecting spare parts from semi-aquatic mammals.
Hey, Ferbgor.
The Monster's Ball Best Monster Contest.
A big prize goes to the best monster! Sweet.
I know what we're gonna do today! Back at Castle Phineastein, the boys began building a monster.
Can you at least tell a story in color, Grandpa? Perhaps muted color would be better.
Who's telling the story anyway? Did I mention that the boys had a conniving and disapproving governess named Constance? So, anyway, Jeremiah was, like, totally checking me out when-- Will you hold it down? I am trying to use the quill! Isn't it beautiful, Ferbgor? We're on the verge of bringing life to the best monster ever.
Okay.
Let her rip! It's alive! Alive! And it's really big.
How big, Grandpa? Bigger than a refrigerator but smaller than a really big refrigerator.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Don't close the door! Oh, that's just great! The storms made my security system go all cuckoo, and you just locked us in.
Well, you might as well make yourself comfy, 'cause we're stuck in here till the power comes back on.
Ooh, quite a storm, huh? Reminds me of a story Papa Doofenshmirtz used to tell me to scare me into wetting the bed.
That prankster! It began a long time ago, with my great-great grandfather, Dr.
Jekyll Doofenshmirtz! He was obsessed with being the most evil scientist of his time.
Back then, to be considered truly evil, you actually had to have an angry mob after you.
Your 11 o'clock is here.
The angry mob?! Ooh, they're early.
Show them to the parlor.
Top of the morning, angry mob.
Let's hurry this along, Doctor.
We've got a tar-and-feathering at noon.
Yes, of course, of course.
This time I know I've created something evil enough to warrant your full attention and anger.
The Concoction Brew-Inator! A diabolical machine that produces a potion to turn a normal man, like myself, into a horrible monster! Now Tremble before me! What? You're not so much trembling.
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Come back! So you're not an angry mob right now, but I bet you're slightly irritated, right? I should get points for that! I should get points for that.
Uh, where was I? Oh, yes! Now, the boys had a real monster on their hands, and they had to get him ready for the big night.
Come on! That-a-boy! Check it out, Ferbgor.
To make sure we win that monster contest, I taught him a few tricks.
Watch this.
Play dead! Huh? Huh? So I said, "Oh no, you di-in't!" And she said-- What was that? What's going on down there? I will go straight to the angry mob and tell on you.
Aha! Oh.
Hi, Constance.
We're gonna enter the Best Monster Contest.
How are you gonna enter a monster contest? You don't even have a monster! He's right behind me, isn't he? Yeah! I'm.
Telling.
Mob.
Angry mob! Come quick! Phineastein and Ferbgor have created a giant green monster! Didn't you tell us last week that they created a two-headed cow? We're wasting time! Now let's hurry before the monster gets away! Jameson, I think I found the problem.
I had the Brew-Inator set to "Fairy Princess" by mistake.
You know, in hindsight, I, question even including a "Fairy Princess" setting to begin with.
But, you know, live and learn.
Cheers! Hmm.
Evil has an interesting flavor.
I must tell my friend, Dr.
-- Hmm.
It actually worked.
I know! I'm just as surprised as you are! Put her there, Jameson! Psych! At last! A whole new world of evil has opened up to me! You know what this calls for, don't you? A rampage, sir? Exactly! Oh, and clean your uniform.
Evil! (Song: He's Eviler) He's public enemy number one He's an evil, evil man That's me! He's got a diabolical sense of fun And an evil, evil plan Well, not a plan so much.
Oh, yes, he's eviler I'm winging it, actually.
More evil than he was before That's right.
Yes, he's eviler I don't think that's a word.
And he's taking it door to door Oops, gotta go.
Evil! Got your nose! I got your I I I really do have his nose.
Oops.
Heh.
Okay, okay.
Well, we'll just put this back.
There you go.
Good as new.
Evil! Oh, great! We really have to stop losing our monsters.
Blimey! Look what's coming! Run! Run! I'm finally cured of my irrational fear that a giant platypus will see me in my underpants.
It's even worse than I imagined! Whatcha doin'? Hello? Are there any monsters in there? Shh.
No, I guess not.
It was right here! You have to believe me! A giant platypus! Wait! Mob, look! The Monster's Ball! This is where they must have gone.
Follow me! La la la la Whatcha doin'? We're looking for a giant platypus monster.
Have you seen one by any chance? Funny you should ask.
We spent the entire afternoon together.
We went swimming, had a little lunch.
Did you know he eats raw snails? Ew! I stuck to PB and J on whole wheat.
Where is he now? He went into town to enter the Best Monster Contest.
Of course that's where he went! What were we thinking? Come on! Goodbye then! Tell him to save me a dance! Thanks for the lift, mister! Let's go! Best monster, indeed.
Wait till they get a load of pure evil! We'll just adjust the dial, and-- You?! Monster fight! Really, really, I don't have your nose! Wait wait.
Time out.
Allow me one little drink before we continue.
I'm-- I-I'm parched, okay? Here, boy! I hope he hasn't gotten into any trouble.
Just wait till my potion kicks in, you big, dumb monst-- What? But I-- I thought I had it set to-- And, well, I forgot exactly what happens after that.
Oh, hey.
The lights! What do you know? Oh, I got no time for my diabolical plan now.
I've got the chiropractor at 4.
Could-- could we pick it up tomorrow at, say my evil scheme monologue? Good! But, you know, I wonder who actually did win the Best Monster Contest.
Oh.
There you are, platypus monster.
And to think I worried you might get into some mischief.
Ladies and gentlemen.
We're ready to announce the winner of the Best Monster Contest.
Hey, we're just in time.
Mob! It's here! The monster's in here! We're coming! Don't get your knickers in a twist.
They are so busted! Oh, refreshments! This monster hunting is thirsty work.
That's a peculiar taste.
Hey, Constance.
Oh, Jeremiah! I can't remember a day when you looked more beautiful.
Well, now I can.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The winner of the Best Monster Contest is That! Way to go, Constance! Good show! There it is! Wait! No, no, no! I'm not the monster! Oh well.
Win some, lose some, boy.
You'll always be the biggest, baddest monster to us.
I see you found your giant platypus.
That's right.
And we'll never lose him again.
And that is why there are pumpkins.
Um Grandpa, you were telling us about a giant platypus monster.
Ooh, that sounds very exciting! Tell me about that.
But you were-- I mean-- I didn't-- I've got nothing.
Ferb? Platypus monsters are the only monsters to lay eggs.