Justice League Action (2016) s01e41 Episode Script
Harley Goes Ape!
1 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) (FOOTSTEPS THUDDING) (GASPING AND EXCLAIMING) (SCREAMING) WOMAN: Help! Magnificent.
Titano, turn left.
(SCRATCHING) Oh! Titano, turn left.
(HOOTING) This time I don't need an army of gorillas to crush humanity.
Just one huge chimp that I control.
(SLURPING) (MAN SHRIEKING) (EXCLAIMS) Better get here quick, Superman.
This monkey means business.
Titano's a chimp, Stargirl, and trouble.
Titano, look up in the sky.
It's Superman.
Now, Titano! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) Are you okay? Those were kryptonite beams, weren't they? Indeed, Titano's gaze is perilous to the Man of Steel.
Destroy him, Titano.
I command you! (GROANS) Use your kryptonite beams! (STARGIRL GRUNTING) Thanks, Stargirl.
I may have just the solution for those beams.
Keep the civilians out of danger until I get back.
All right, everyone, get to cover n Oh, they've already left.
(SCOFFS) Figures.
You'd have to be totally crazy to be on the streets now.
(HARLEY CACKLING) (SCATTING) Ha, funny, all it takes is one giant gorilla attacking the city and I just waltz in the front door.
Ooh! That's what I'm talking about.
Come to Harley! (GLASS SHATTERING) - (THUDS) - (STARGIRL SHRIEKS) Ow.
You? Hmm.
I Um Uh Harley Quinn, you're, like, under arrest.
(LAUGHS) That's adorbs, really, Yankee Poodle.
But ain't there some big crisis you're supposed to deal with, oh, with all the sirens and all? (KISSES) Hey! (MOANS) (HARLEY SCREAMING) That's not Stargirl.
Hiya Groddzie.
Long time no see.
And you are? Harley Quinn.
You know, Harley Quinn, Batman's arch-enemy? America's little sweetheart? Yes, well I'm not forming any criminal alliances today, so Titano? No, it couldn't be.
You're little Titano? It's me, Harleen! Remember our special song? Who's a happy chimp? That's me! Who's a happy chimp? That's you! You love me and I love you Bananas, bananas! Oh, oh, oh (HOOTING) It is you! Titano! My little banana pudding! Silence, human! Cease that idiotic simian-offensive song.
Titano, dispose of her.
Now! (HOOTING) (GRUNTS) Titano, dispose of her now! (GROWLS) Uh-oh! (HARLEY SHRIEKS) (SCREAMING) (HARLEY YELLING) - Who are you? - Relax, Harley.
It's just me.
HARLEY: What's with the metal onesie, Soops? There are properties in lead that block Kryptonian physiology.
Boring! Stargirl, keep an eye on her.
(GROANS) Titano, destroy! Not this time, Grodd.
A lead suit? I thought you were the Man of Steel! (GRUNTS) I heard you singing to Titano.
You acted like you knew him.
I do! Or I did.
Back when I was about your age, Powerpuff.
Before I became a psychiatrist, I studied behavioral zoology at S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs.
That's kind of like being a shrink for animals.
Well, Titano was there being groomed for his space flights.
(SCREECHING) It wasn't easy.
It was up to me to calm him down.
(SINGING) Who's a happy chimp? That's me! Who's a happy chimp? That's you! You love me And I love you Then they actually shot the poor little guy into space! And a kryptonite meteor did a number on him! And that was the last thing I heard.
You can't imagine how sad I felt.
(NOSE BLOWING) (SNIFFS) Thanks.
(THUDDING) (GRUNTS) Oh! You'll never touch me, lead head.
This globe is virtually indestructible.
Hey, Clark! Bye, Clark! (GLASS CRACKING) Oh, practically virtually.
(YELLS) (GROANS) (SUPERMAN STRAINING) (GRUNTS) Titano, finish him! (SCREAMS) Oh, ouch! That looks like it hurts.
Superman! Yo, King Kong, you dropped this.
(GASPS) Uh-oh.
(GROANS) (GROWLS) Hey, uh No hard feelings.
We apes need to stick together.
Right? (ROARS) Uh-oh.
(SCREAMING) (POLICE RADIO CHATTERING) Did they say a giant monkey was smashing through the city? No, they said a giant ape was smashing through the city.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (GRODD MOANING) (HELICOPTER HOVERING) Argh! Leave him alone you crazy coppers! (GUNS FIRING) (SIRENS BLARING) (GROWLS) I seem to remember seeing something like this in a movie.
It didn't end well.
(GRUNTING) (HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING) (EXCLAIMING) PILOT: Command, we got the target pinned down.
COMMAND: Roger that, take the shot.
- (GUNS FIRING) - Excuse me, gentlemen.
Oh! I think we have it covered.
Look, Titano! Look it's Teddy! (GRUNTS) Sing, Teddy, sing! Is this really necessary? Sing, Teddy, sing.
(SINGING) Who's a happy chimp? That's me! Who's a happy chimp? That's you! You love me and I love STARGIRL: Wha (YELLS) (STRAINING) Aw! I'll just give you and Teddy a little time to get reacquainted.
- (GRUNTS) - (GLASS FALLING) (CHUCKLES) (NERVOUSLY) Can we call it even? (DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) My apologies for trying to destroy you.
Heat of the battle and all.
Oh, it happens.
I've often had trouble letting my emotions overrule my intellect.
It's my biggest failing.
Would you like to talk about it? I suppose it all began years ago, in Gorilla City.
Um You're not gonna sing again, are you? - Oh, no, I promise.
- (ENGINE STARTING)
Titano, turn left.
(SCRATCHING) Oh! Titano, turn left.
(HOOTING) This time I don't need an army of gorillas to crush humanity.
Just one huge chimp that I control.
(SLURPING) (MAN SHRIEKING) (EXCLAIMS) Better get here quick, Superman.
This monkey means business.
Titano's a chimp, Stargirl, and trouble.
Titano, look up in the sky.
It's Superman.
Now, Titano! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) Are you okay? Those were kryptonite beams, weren't they? Indeed, Titano's gaze is perilous to the Man of Steel.
Destroy him, Titano.
I command you! (GROANS) Use your kryptonite beams! (STARGIRL GRUNTING) Thanks, Stargirl.
I may have just the solution for those beams.
Keep the civilians out of danger until I get back.
All right, everyone, get to cover n Oh, they've already left.
(SCOFFS) Figures.
You'd have to be totally crazy to be on the streets now.
(HARLEY CACKLING) (SCATTING) Ha, funny, all it takes is one giant gorilla attacking the city and I just waltz in the front door.
Ooh! That's what I'm talking about.
Come to Harley! (GLASS SHATTERING) - (THUDS) - (STARGIRL SHRIEKS) Ow.
You? Hmm.
I Um Uh Harley Quinn, you're, like, under arrest.
(LAUGHS) That's adorbs, really, Yankee Poodle.
But ain't there some big crisis you're supposed to deal with, oh, with all the sirens and all? (KISSES) Hey! (MOANS) (HARLEY SCREAMING) That's not Stargirl.
Hiya Groddzie.
Long time no see.
And you are? Harley Quinn.
You know, Harley Quinn, Batman's arch-enemy? America's little sweetheart? Yes, well I'm not forming any criminal alliances today, so Titano? No, it couldn't be.
You're little Titano? It's me, Harleen! Remember our special song? Who's a happy chimp? That's me! Who's a happy chimp? That's you! You love me and I love you Bananas, bananas! Oh, oh, oh (HOOTING) It is you! Titano! My little banana pudding! Silence, human! Cease that idiotic simian-offensive song.
Titano, dispose of her.
Now! (HOOTING) (GRUNTS) Titano, dispose of her now! (GROWLS) Uh-oh! (HARLEY SHRIEKS) (SCREAMING) (HARLEY YELLING) - Who are you? - Relax, Harley.
It's just me.
HARLEY: What's with the metal onesie, Soops? There are properties in lead that block Kryptonian physiology.
Boring! Stargirl, keep an eye on her.
(GROANS) Titano, destroy! Not this time, Grodd.
A lead suit? I thought you were the Man of Steel! (GRUNTS) I heard you singing to Titano.
You acted like you knew him.
I do! Or I did.
Back when I was about your age, Powerpuff.
Before I became a psychiatrist, I studied behavioral zoology at S.
T.
A.
R.
Labs.
That's kind of like being a shrink for animals.
Well, Titano was there being groomed for his space flights.
(SCREECHING) It wasn't easy.
It was up to me to calm him down.
(SINGING) Who's a happy chimp? That's me! Who's a happy chimp? That's you! You love me And I love you Then they actually shot the poor little guy into space! And a kryptonite meteor did a number on him! And that was the last thing I heard.
You can't imagine how sad I felt.
(NOSE BLOWING) (SNIFFS) Thanks.
(THUDDING) (GRUNTS) Oh! You'll never touch me, lead head.
This globe is virtually indestructible.
Hey, Clark! Bye, Clark! (GLASS CRACKING) Oh, practically virtually.
(YELLS) (GROANS) (SUPERMAN STRAINING) (GRUNTS) Titano, finish him! (SCREAMS) Oh, ouch! That looks like it hurts.
Superman! Yo, King Kong, you dropped this.
(GASPS) Uh-oh.
(GROANS) (GROWLS) Hey, uh No hard feelings.
We apes need to stick together.
Right? (ROARS) Uh-oh.
(SCREAMING) (POLICE RADIO CHATTERING) Did they say a giant monkey was smashing through the city? No, they said a giant ape was smashing through the city.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (GRODD MOANING) (HELICOPTER HOVERING) Argh! Leave him alone you crazy coppers! (GUNS FIRING) (SIRENS BLARING) (GROWLS) I seem to remember seeing something like this in a movie.
It didn't end well.
(GRUNTING) (HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING) (EXCLAIMING) PILOT: Command, we got the target pinned down.
COMMAND: Roger that, take the shot.
- (GUNS FIRING) - Excuse me, gentlemen.
Oh! I think we have it covered.
Look, Titano! Look it's Teddy! (GRUNTS) Sing, Teddy, sing! Is this really necessary? Sing, Teddy, sing.
(SINGING) Who's a happy chimp? That's me! Who's a happy chimp? That's you! You love me and I love STARGIRL: Wha (YELLS) (STRAINING) Aw! I'll just give you and Teddy a little time to get reacquainted.
- (GRUNTS) - (GLASS FALLING) (CHUCKLES) (NERVOUSLY) Can we call it even? (DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) My apologies for trying to destroy you.
Heat of the battle and all.
Oh, it happens.
I've often had trouble letting my emotions overrule my intellect.
It's my biggest failing.
Would you like to talk about it? I suppose it all began years ago, in Gorilla City.
Um You're not gonna sing again, are you? - Oh, no, I promise.
- (ENGINE STARTING)