Clarence US (2014) s01e42 Episode Script

1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Chalmers Santiago [muzak playing.]
[groans.]
Announcer: Baby's first phone.
Wow.
Just give that a feel, Martha.
A touchscreen soft enough for a six-month-old baby.
[squeaking.]
Mmm.
Mary: Hey, Clarence, whatcha doing in there? Nothing.
Announcer: You really need to call now and get them started young.
Ugh.
TV is so boring.
I couldn't think of a bigger waste of a Sunday.
Mary: Clarence? You busy, or what's going on? Yeah, I'm just I'm just finding stuff to do for today.
For Sunday.
All right.
Come on, lazy bones.
Get yourself up.
I got some chores for you.
[muzak continues.]
So, what you're just gonna watch TV all day? Come on.
Why don't I give you something to do? [cooing.]
- [sighs.]
Okay.
- All right.
Here's some old stuff I want get rid of here.
Drop it off at the thrift store, will you? - I don't want to see it anymore.
- Yes, sir! [gasps.]
Ugh.
Boring.
[gasps.]
Ew.
Weird.
Creepy.
[doll squeaks.]
[gasps.]
[whistle blows, sputters.]
Ugh! Ew! What in the world? [gasps.]
[digital fanfare plays.]
Let's take this here.
[grunting.]
[electricity buzzes.]
Bingo.
[grunting.]
[static crackles.]
Aah! Aaaahhh! [grunting.]
Get in there.
[crackling stops.]
[dramatic video-game music playing.]
Oh, boy.
Here we go.
[pew! pew! pew!.]
[music continues.]
Aw, yeah, "Dragon's Cusp.
" Start.
[game chirps, warbles.]
Oh, cool.
Oh.
Is that supposed to be me? [chuckles.]
Okay.
Here we go.
[game chirps.]
Hey, where did I g oh.
Okay.
That was weird.
Okay, maybe if I just go What? [warble.]
Okay, this has got to be the right way.
Whew.
Level 2, here we go.
And what is this? A magic key.
[warble.]
Hey, what the heck? [warble.]
What? I I can't get out! [sighs.]
Okay.
I guess I've gotten pretty far.
It's time for a break.
[warbling.]
Ugh, what in the Can't get out! [thump.]
- Oh, you dropped off the box already? - I'm bored.
Well, I can always make you do more chores.
[sighs.]
- Okay, I guess.
- See that mail right there? I think it belongs to our neighbor.
Perm Palace? Cinnamon of the month club? What kind of guy is this? Chalmers Santiago? Oh, I'm sure he's a nice guy.
Anyway, I just wanted you to drop off his mail for him.
He lives right across the street.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Across the street? [dramatic music plays.]
Mary: Maybe you could ask him if he's been getting these expensive power bills, too.
Oh, I tell you, there's something funny going on on our block.
- Unh! - Hey! Don't read other people's mail.
It's not polite.
Clarence: Hmm.
A water bill.
So we know he uses water.
Chalmers my friend, the jig is up.
[warbling.]
[doorbell rings.]
[heavy breathing.]
[tense music.]
Hello?! Chammers San Diego?! [muffled.]
Mrs.
San Diego? I got your mail, and my mom wants to know if you have bad power bills, too! [dramatic music plays.]
[warbling.]
[whistle.]
[clang!.]
Clarence, you said you took all this stuff to the thrift store.
Why is it still here on the floor? Shh! I think he just ordered a pizza.
Are you spying on he is? I've never actually seen Chalmers before.
[warbling.]
Ugh, the pizza boy's blocking the door! I can't see him! [gasps.]
I think he's paying for it.
- He looks really short.
- Unh! Unh! [warbling continues.]
[gasps.]
He closed the door! Drat! [grunts.]
[grunting.]
Aw, come on! Mr.
Chalmers, it's I mean [deep voice.]
Mr.
Chalmers, it's me, the pizza man.
I brung you another pizza.
It's extra crispy, your favorite.
[sloop.]
[static.]
[normal voice.]
Aw, he probably has plenty of pizza already.
[door closes.]
So the pizza thing didn't work, huh? No.
Oh, maybe he just wants to be alone, you know? - Like a recluse or something.
- But he's our neighbor, and neighbors should want to be friends.
Some people don't like friends.
You know maybe he's got a disease or something.
Chad, that's not nice.
That's it I'm just gonna level with him.
Chalmers just needs a friend.
Chalmers! [banging on door.]
Chalmers! Chalmers! Chalmers! Chalmers! Chalmers! [wind gusting, door creaks.]
[suspenseful music playing.]
[grunts.]
Wow.
Chalmers's house is like my house, but it's backwards.
[gasps.]
Backwards bathroom.
So, this is gonna be my backwards bedroom.
[music box playing eerily.]
Okay [man screams.]
[growl.]
[angry muttering in distance.]
[gasps.]
[grunting.]
[mumbling.]
That's the last I'm onto you.
You like that? I'm gonna get ya! Game over! No way! Not fair! Everybody's cheating! Gah! [both scream.]
Belson? You live with Chalmers? - That's the bestest surprise ever.
- What? Who? What are you doing here? I was trying to find Chalmers Santiago.
Is he your dad? What? No, it it's like some guy my dad works Why are you still here? Wait a sec.
Did you move or something? I thought you used to live in that big, old, spooky Dracula castle.
[gasps.]
Don't mind if I do.
My dad bought this place thinking it would be a good investment, but it turns out no one wants to live in this dumpy neighborhood.
So now I just use it as my crib.
[munch.]
[muffled.]
Whoa, so you get this whole place - to do whatever you want? - Yeah, I guess it's okay.
I I don't know.
I mean, it's kind of lame and moldy, but it's cool as long as you stay out of the darkness.
What's the darkness? [slithering.]
[growling.]
The best part is, no one comes by here, so I don't have to share my games or Cheezo's.
Well, at least, until you showed up.
Your place is pretty great, Belson.
Hey, um, guess what.
I just got this cool game what's called "Dragon Cups.
" I bet you would love it 'cause you like games so much.
Hey, I got an idea.
Why don't you come over, and we can play right now? [game chirps.]
Whoa, really? [chuckles.]
Yeah.
No joke, that sounds like the raddest idea ever! - Let's do it! - Okay.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I can't wait! This is gonna be so much fun! [thud.]
Okay, I'll just wait right here.
[vroom.]
[squawks.]
[insects chirping.]
[smooches.]
[growling.]
[pop!.]
[warbling.]
Ow! [buzzing.]
[electricity crackles.]
Belson: What?! Nooo! Dennis? Life is so unfair! Okay, I think I got a system set up.
As long as we don't touch anything, we should be All right, freeze, punk! [hisses.]
Oh, just a little guy.
[gasps.]
Belson! You came to play "Dragon Cups" with us.
Huh? Oh oh, yeah.
Uh, "Dragon's Cusp"! Love it.
Can't get enough of it.
Aw, yeah! Let's "cusp" it up! [snoring.]
[warbling.]
Chad: Oh, there's the key again.
- Get it! - Belson: No, it's a trap.
[warble.]
Look.
There's the real one.
- [chirp.]
Wow! - Clarence: Whoa! Yeah, you know, I mean, I've done, like, so many of these things, it's, like, so easy to beat it on this setting.
It's not even as hard as "Dragon's Cusp 4," And that one was for babies.
This is like a screen-saver.
Look out! It's the super-dark wizard! Oh, you're not supposed to touch it Oh, how'd you do that? Wow, I can't believe how short this was.
Okay, so the last thing is, I take all my gold and my sword [gasps.]
[gasps.]
[snores.]
Belson: And then I go to this guy, and [horn honks.]
Oh.
Goober he's early.
Awesome.
But Wait! You You didn't get the Dragon Cups yet! Yeah, you know what the Dragon's Cusp is? It's a square.
Another square.
Oh, hey, Chad, um, all the good meats that I have in my fridge are gonna spoil.
- Can I plug my cord back in? - Do whatever you want, little man.
[video-game music playing.]
Thanks, Chad.
Remember to buckle u [horn honks.]
Honk once more there's your tip! I can't believe I'm finally gonna beat "Dragon's Cusp.
" Belson: [chuckles.]
Too easy.
[electricity crackles, buzzing.]
It's a big moment for you and me.
Right here, right now.
Probably the biggest.
[static.]
[all screaming.]
[yelling.]
Chad! Clarence! What's going on?! What are you doing?! Turn it off! Just freakin' unplug it! [car door closes.]
Belson: Hey, go, go.
[tires squeal.]
Just give it to me! I'm gonna do it! Let me ugh, see? All you had to do was unplug it.
No big deal.