The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e43 Episode Script
Cute Astrophe
Flag's ready, check.
Gates unlocked, check.
Lemurs doing whatever that is, check.
Three, two, one.
Showtime.
Hmm.
Zoo, by all accounts, is open.
Where are the happy tourists? Kowalski, analysis.
Kowalski? Men, we have a developing situation topside.
(Laughing) Men? Rico's found a new channel.
It's positively brilliant.
It's called the Dumb Animal Channel.
This is no time for TV.
We have a situ-- Whoa, those animals are dumb.
PRESENTER: You're watching DAC, Dumb Animal Channel.
(Laughing dispassionately) Oh.
Ah.
Hey, guys! Guys, you've got to come quick! There's a rumour going around that the zoo is closing permanently.
Doesn't that otter on TV look just like Marlene? (Mumbling) Uh-huh.
Nah.
Marlene has a giant misshapen-- Marlene, how did you get in here? Listen, listen.
The zoo is going to be closed forever.
Zoo closed forever.
Right.
We're on it.
Anything yet? We are negative for intel in this rumoured zoo shutdown.
(Door closing) (Footsteps approaching) Not one visitor.
Why would people schlep to the zoo when they can see the dumb animals on TV? Yep, we're shipping them out all over the world.
San Diego, Beijing and Hoboken.
(Groaning) Unfortunately, no.
The committee voted.
Yes, exactly.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
I'm not sure.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Oh, that I didn't know.
Here's what we know.
Without ticket-buying human visitors, this zoo is kaput.
According to this top secret dossier, they're shipping us out tomorrow.
(Nervous chattering) Calm down.
We've got a plan to get the humans back to the zoo.
Kowalski.
Operation catch and release.
We set traps for the humans all over the city.
Once the traps are filled with people, we bring them back and release them here inside the zoo.
Presto, we have visitors.
Good old brute force.
Um, Kowalski? That's plan B.
Plan A is-- Right, operation dumb town.
We show the humans that zoo animals are just as dumb as or maybe even dumber than the animals on TV.
Yes, we certainly have dumber animals here.
Like that one over there.
Idiot-o.
Yes, I'm talking about you.
He didn't get it.
He didn't even get that.
How do you get people to come back? Oh.
We haven't gotten that far yet.
Phil and I recently liberated this from lost and found.
Video.
I like where your headed is at, simian.
Simple blackmail job.
Actually, I was thinking we could make a television commercial to show off the zoo.
Yeah, okay, then what? What, are we going to find a giant ladder to space and then use a satellite to broadcast the commercial over every TV in New York? Marlene, that's brilliant! You may have a future in science.
Oh, don't be si-- Do you think? Sure, with that type of out-of-the-box thinking.
Now, why didn't I think of that? Skipper, would you please? Thanks.
Now let's get this plan in motion.
Well, it turns out they don't make giant space ladders.
Skipper? So instead we'll build this, a satellite override remote control unit.
It will require a telescope, cell phone, wires, a satellite dish, egg timer, flashlight, plunger and a treadmill.
And we still need the telescope, cell phone, satellite dish and treadmill.
(Retching) Nope.
Here, let me try.
(Flatulence) (Giggling) Oh, Mort, oh.
That burns my nose.
Timeframe is tight.
The boys and I will secure the missing parts while the rest of you film the commercial.
For the most effective commercial, we'll showcase each animal, an exciting exposé proving the zoo is worth visiting-- Hey, hey, hey.
Who put you in charge? Not me, and I'm King, okay? I say.
Ha ha! You found me! I will be the director guy.
Julien, I really think we should work together on-- King.
Director.
Yes, but I-- Cut! That's director for "shut up.
" Yeah, I saw that on DAC last night.
Did you catch the one where that old lady is smacking around that lion? It's hilarious.
Cellphone secured.
(Crashing) My car! Ready, set and Kangaroo.
Okay, start hopping.
Hop a little higher.
You've got no up, Spotty.
No, no, like this, like this.
What are you on about? Cut, cut, cut! You are a kangaroo, so be a kangaroo.
Do the bouncing and hopping and all the other ridiculous things you do.
Careful, mate.
That tone will get you a wallop.
Stop, stop.
Move out of the way.
Just film me, Maurice.
Yes.
There we go.
G'day matey, I'm a kangaroo.
I'm hopping around like I do.
Charlie don't like cheap imitations.
Can we get another take? I wasn't rolling.
Hey, what's that unexpectedly cute penguin doing in Central Park? Telescope secured.
Okay, Mort.
Show him how it's done.
Oh.
Um.
This looks a little dangerous.
Hurray for danger! We're burning daylight, elephant.
Let's go.
You're up here too? (Sighing) Stop the camera.
We go again.
And please do not be so heavy the next time.
Sorry.
Yow! Steady.
Steady.
Go, go, go! Whoa! That certainly was a close call.
Dish secured.
And a one, and a two-lian, and a-- (Rumba music playing) Don't be afraid to use your hips.
More like this.
Unga-unga-unga Baby likes to rumba Okay, from the top.
Cut! That's a wrap, ringtail.
They start hauling us away in T -1 hour.
We need this commercial to air pronto.
This is no commercial, sir.
It is art.
I'll just plug the camera into the treadmill and-- Where did you guys get a treadmill? (Groaning) That's, uh, classified.
Okay, the treadmill powers the satellite while the cellphone creates a disruptive signal that is sent through-- Through the telescope, right, and voilà .
The commercial is on every TV in New York.
Marlene, you certainly got this science thing down quickly.
A little too quickly, hmm? Let's keep an eye on Marlene.
Uh, hello, I'm right here.
Very clever, Marlene.
Better make that both eyes.
Roy, if you would do the power up honours.
No problem.
Status report.
Working like a charm.
The commercial will broadcast on a loop over every TV in a 45 mile radius.
What? Only 45 miles? Faster.
.
Run faster! Share my masterpiece with the whole world! No, ringtail.
You're going to overload the-- It's so cold.
Whah! (Gasping) What? Huh? (Birds singing) What? It wasn't me.
It was Mort.
Uh, where's Mort? I mean, Maurice's fault.
See? So obvious.
(Growling) No commercial, no people, no zoo.
Yeah, way to go, Maurice.
Looks like you've really done it this time.
Gentlemen, say your goodbyes.
Just can't risk our secrets falling into the wrong hands.
It's so hard to say-- You've shown us many wonders, trusty periscope.
(Gasping) What's that? Uh-oh.
Alice alert! We're not going down without a fight.
Rico! Wait, she's not coming for us.
She's-- She's walking to the gate.
Look.
Flags are raised.
We're not closing.
We're opening? Kowalski, analysis.
It appears we have visitors once again.
I see that, but how? Destroyed TVs all over New York.
Commercial never played.
Maybe destroying the satellite disrupted a secret government mind control program, freeing the public to visit the zoo.
Or maybe without TV and the Dumb Animal Channel, the humans don't have animal entertainment at home.
They need us again! Let's not think it to death, Private.
Let's just make it extra adorable today.
Ah!
Gates unlocked, check.
Lemurs doing whatever that is, check.
Three, two, one.
Showtime.
Hmm.
Zoo, by all accounts, is open.
Where are the happy tourists? Kowalski, analysis.
Kowalski? Men, we have a developing situation topside.
(Laughing) Men? Rico's found a new channel.
It's positively brilliant.
It's called the Dumb Animal Channel.
This is no time for TV.
We have a situ-- Whoa, those animals are dumb.
PRESENTER: You're watching DAC, Dumb Animal Channel.
(Laughing dispassionately) Oh.
Ah.
Hey, guys! Guys, you've got to come quick! There's a rumour going around that the zoo is closing permanently.
Doesn't that otter on TV look just like Marlene? (Mumbling) Uh-huh.
Nah.
Marlene has a giant misshapen-- Marlene, how did you get in here? Listen, listen.
The zoo is going to be closed forever.
Zoo closed forever.
Right.
We're on it.
Anything yet? We are negative for intel in this rumoured zoo shutdown.
(Door closing) (Footsteps approaching) Not one visitor.
Why would people schlep to the zoo when they can see the dumb animals on TV? Yep, we're shipping them out all over the world.
San Diego, Beijing and Hoboken.
(Groaning) Unfortunately, no.
The committee voted.
Yes, exactly.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
I'm not sure.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Oh, that I didn't know.
Here's what we know.
Without ticket-buying human visitors, this zoo is kaput.
According to this top secret dossier, they're shipping us out tomorrow.
(Nervous chattering) Calm down.
We've got a plan to get the humans back to the zoo.
Kowalski.
Operation catch and release.
We set traps for the humans all over the city.
Once the traps are filled with people, we bring them back and release them here inside the zoo.
Presto, we have visitors.
Good old brute force.
Um, Kowalski? That's plan B.
Plan A is-- Right, operation dumb town.
We show the humans that zoo animals are just as dumb as or maybe even dumber than the animals on TV.
Yes, we certainly have dumber animals here.
Like that one over there.
Idiot-o.
Yes, I'm talking about you.
He didn't get it.
He didn't even get that.
How do you get people to come back? Oh.
We haven't gotten that far yet.
Phil and I recently liberated this from lost and found.
Video.
I like where your headed is at, simian.
Simple blackmail job.
Actually, I was thinking we could make a television commercial to show off the zoo.
Yeah, okay, then what? What, are we going to find a giant ladder to space and then use a satellite to broadcast the commercial over every TV in New York? Marlene, that's brilliant! You may have a future in science.
Oh, don't be si-- Do you think? Sure, with that type of out-of-the-box thinking.
Now, why didn't I think of that? Skipper, would you please? Thanks.
Now let's get this plan in motion.
Well, it turns out they don't make giant space ladders.
Skipper? So instead we'll build this, a satellite override remote control unit.
It will require a telescope, cell phone, wires, a satellite dish, egg timer, flashlight, plunger and a treadmill.
And we still need the telescope, cell phone, satellite dish and treadmill.
(Retching) Nope.
Here, let me try.
(Flatulence) (Giggling) Oh, Mort, oh.
That burns my nose.
Timeframe is tight.
The boys and I will secure the missing parts while the rest of you film the commercial.
For the most effective commercial, we'll showcase each animal, an exciting exposé proving the zoo is worth visiting-- Hey, hey, hey.
Who put you in charge? Not me, and I'm King, okay? I say.
Ha ha! You found me! I will be the director guy.
Julien, I really think we should work together on-- King.
Director.
Yes, but I-- Cut! That's director for "shut up.
" Yeah, I saw that on DAC last night.
Did you catch the one where that old lady is smacking around that lion? It's hilarious.
Cellphone secured.
(Crashing) My car! Ready, set and Kangaroo.
Okay, start hopping.
Hop a little higher.
You've got no up, Spotty.
No, no, like this, like this.
What are you on about? Cut, cut, cut! You are a kangaroo, so be a kangaroo.
Do the bouncing and hopping and all the other ridiculous things you do.
Careful, mate.
That tone will get you a wallop.
Stop, stop.
Move out of the way.
Just film me, Maurice.
Yes.
There we go.
G'day matey, I'm a kangaroo.
I'm hopping around like I do.
Charlie don't like cheap imitations.
Can we get another take? I wasn't rolling.
Hey, what's that unexpectedly cute penguin doing in Central Park? Telescope secured.
Okay, Mort.
Show him how it's done.
Oh.
Um.
This looks a little dangerous.
Hurray for danger! We're burning daylight, elephant.
Let's go.
You're up here too? (Sighing) Stop the camera.
We go again.
And please do not be so heavy the next time.
Sorry.
Yow! Steady.
Steady.
Go, go, go! Whoa! That certainly was a close call.
Dish secured.
And a one, and a two-lian, and a-- (Rumba music playing) Don't be afraid to use your hips.
More like this.
Unga-unga-unga Baby likes to rumba Okay, from the top.
Cut! That's a wrap, ringtail.
They start hauling us away in T -1 hour.
We need this commercial to air pronto.
This is no commercial, sir.
It is art.
I'll just plug the camera into the treadmill and-- Where did you guys get a treadmill? (Groaning) That's, uh, classified.
Okay, the treadmill powers the satellite while the cellphone creates a disruptive signal that is sent through-- Through the telescope, right, and voilà .
The commercial is on every TV in New York.
Marlene, you certainly got this science thing down quickly.
A little too quickly, hmm? Let's keep an eye on Marlene.
Uh, hello, I'm right here.
Very clever, Marlene.
Better make that both eyes.
Roy, if you would do the power up honours.
No problem.
Status report.
Working like a charm.
The commercial will broadcast on a loop over every TV in a 45 mile radius.
What? Only 45 miles? Faster.
.
Run faster! Share my masterpiece with the whole world! No, ringtail.
You're going to overload the-- It's so cold.
Whah! (Gasping) What? Huh? (Birds singing) What? It wasn't me.
It was Mort.
Uh, where's Mort? I mean, Maurice's fault.
See? So obvious.
(Growling) No commercial, no people, no zoo.
Yeah, way to go, Maurice.
Looks like you've really done it this time.
Gentlemen, say your goodbyes.
Just can't risk our secrets falling into the wrong hands.
It's so hard to say-- You've shown us many wonders, trusty periscope.
(Gasping) What's that? Uh-oh.
Alice alert! We're not going down without a fight.
Rico! Wait, she's not coming for us.
She's-- She's walking to the gate.
Look.
Flags are raised.
We're not closing.
We're opening? Kowalski, analysis.
It appears we have visitors once again.
I see that, but how? Destroyed TVs all over New York.
Commercial never played.
Maybe destroying the satellite disrupted a secret government mind control program, freeing the public to visit the zoo.
Or maybe without TV and the Dumb Animal Channel, the humans don't have animal entertainment at home.
They need us again! Let's not think it to death, Private.
Let's just make it extra adorable today.
Ah!