Animaniacs (1993) s01e44 Episode Script
Four Score and Seven Migraines Ago / Wakko's America / Davy Omelette / The Flame
IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROTHERS AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y DROLL, URBANE-Y ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY PARIS, 1905-- HOME OF THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE, THE EIFFEL TOWER, AND LOTS OF FRENCH PEOPLE.
IT WAS HERE THA YOUNG ARTIST PABLO PICASSO STRUGGLED TO BREAK NEW GROUND IN THE WORLD OF PAINTING.
AH! OH.
HUHH.
EH.
HO.
NO, NO.
THIS IS NOT ME.
THIS IS NO MY NEW STYLE.
THIS IS NOT PICASSO.
YOU CAN GO NOW.
MERCI.
GO.
HE'S INSANE.
I'VE GOT A CRAMP IN MY HIND LEG.
FRÈRE WARNER FRÈRE WARNER WHAT'S THAT MEAN? KEEP IT CLEAN YAKKO IS A YAKKER WAKKO IS A SNACKER DOT'S PLAIN CUTE SO'S THIS BOOT STOP! THERE IT IS.
SEE? "MODELS WANTED.
" I'D BE GREAT.
WHAT DOES CHRISTIE BRINKLEY HAVE THAT I DON'T? BILLY JOEL.
IT WAS AN AWFUL MISTAKE.
WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.
WE QUIT.
FINE.
EXCUSE ME, MR.
PICASSO.
WHAT DO YOU WANT? ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MODELS? GO AWAY.
NO MORE DOGS.
PICASSO HAS SEEN ENOUGH DOGS TODAY.
GO AWAY.
WE'RE NOT DOGS.
WELL, THEN, CATS.
NO CATS.
[GONG.]
WE'RE NOT CATS.
YOU ARE LARGE BUGS, MAYBE? NO.
NO.
WE'RE THE WARNER BROS.
AND THE WARNER SISTER.
I'M YAKKO.
I'M WAKKO.
AND I'M AS CUTE AS A BUTTON ON A TEDDY BEAR'S NOSE.
IT'S A EUROPEAN THING.
MWA.
MWA.
MMM.
MMM.
MMM.
MMM.
UGH! PEH! PEH! PEH! PEH-YOO! GO AWAY.
AAH! DID YOU KNOW THERE'S "P.
P" ON YOUR SMOCK? DISGUSTING.
THIS STANDS FOR PABLO PICASSO.
YEAH.
NOW, ABOUT THAT MODELING JOB? NO.
NO.
I NEED PROFESSIONAL MODELS.
I'M A VERY FAMOUS ARTIST.
REALLY? WHA HAVE YOU DONE? I DID THESE IN MY BLUE PERIOD.
AND THESE IN MY ROSE PERIOD.
WHAT'S NEXT, PLAID? I CAN DO PLAID.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S NEXT.
THAT'S WHY YOU MUST LEAVE.
I'M BUSY DISCOVERING A NEW STYLE.
PLEASE GO AWAY.
SO WE SHOULD GO? OUI, OUI.
PARDON? OUI, OUI.
THE STUFF DONE ON KIDS' SHOWS.
GO TO YOUR ROOM UNTIL YOU CLEAN UP YOUR LANGUAGE.
NO.
OUI, OUI MEANS YES, YES! PLEASE, WILL YOU GO AWAY IF I GIVE YOU SOME FRANCS? THE BEANS.
THE CATSUP.
I GOT THE BUNS.
SAYS YOU.
STOP EATING MY WAX FRUIT.
PLEH! ROMANTIC, ISN'T IT? YOU KIDS I--AAH! I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M LOST.
I CANNOT THINK.
MY MIND IS LIKE A BLANK.
BABE, YOU NEED TO RELAX, TAKE YOUR MIND OFF YOUR TROUBLES.
LET'S PLAY A GAME.
GUESS THE PICTURE.
GUESS THE PICTURE.
PABLO'S ON MY TEAM.
PABLO'S ON MY TEAM.
O.
K.
BUT WE GO FIRST.
WHAT? I--OOH! GUESS WHAT I'M DRAWING? UH, UH MOUNT RUSHMORE! THAT'S RIGHT! YAY! 2 SECONDS! YAY! 2 SECONDS.
O.
K.
, PABLO, USE YOUR TALENT.
NO.
I DON'T KNOW.
A SOCK? A DOORKNOB? WILSON PHILLIPS? TIME'S UP.
IS A BULL.
A BULL.
AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ARTIST.
THAT'S A BULL.
OH, BUT THAT'S TERRIBLE.
IT'S UGLY.
NOT ACCORDING TO THE SCOREBOARD, LOSER.
NEXT ROUND.
UH, THE CLOWN THAT STANDS OUTSIDE THE CAR WASH AND WAVES? THAT'S IT.
YAY! 3 SECONDS.
GOSH, UHLIZ TAYLOR? NO! A ROCK? PRESS-ON NAILS? CHEESE? BELLY-BUTTON LINT.
A DNA MOLECULE? THAT GUY IN THE MADONNA VIDEO? TIME'S UP.
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE GOOD AT THIS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
IT'S A GUITAR.
THE NECK, THE STRINGS-- A GUITAR.
THAT'S A GUITAR.
WHAT? THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
IT'S HIDEOUS AND ALL BENT.
A GUITAR? WHAT AM I DOING? I'VE NO TIME FOR THIS.
GET OUT! GET OUT! WE WERE-- OUT! WE DIDN'T-- GO! NOW! [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
I SAID GO-- OH, MONSIEUR CLARK, HEH HEH HEH.
PLEASE, COME IN.
AN ART CRITIC OF YOUR MAGNITUDE IS ALWAYS WELCOME.
I HAVE COME TO SEE YOUR NEW WORK, PICASSO.
I WISH TO DO A FEATURE ARTICLE ON IT.
WELL, UH, THE NEW WORK? UH, WHAT IS THIS? THAT? OH, THAT'S A-- FANTASTIC! GENIUS.
IS THERE MORE? UMWHY, YES, THERE IS.
PICASSO, ONCE AGAIN, YOU STAND THE ART WORLD ON ITS EAR.
HOW DO YOU DO IT? UH, I STEAL IT? HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! I'LL TAKE THAT ONE.
I BUY.
I BUY.
ANY PRICE.
PLEASE, I MUST HAVE IT.
[CASHBOX RINGS.]
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, MES AMIS.
WE GET PAID IN FRANKS.
[WHISTLES BLOW.]
[ARF ARF.]
[ARF ARF.]
RUNT VALRUNT I'LL TRACK YOU DOWN, I SWEAR NO MATTER WHERE YOU RUN I WILL BE THERE I CAMENBERT [MEOW.]
[MEOW.]
WELCOME TO THE FRENCH REVOLUTION.
THIS IS INTOLERABLE.
MONSIEUR TRISTESSE! MONSIEUR? AT THE END OF MY FORK IS AN UNKNOWN FOOD PRODUCT YOU MISERABLE FOOL THAT'S A BI OF SARDINE IF THAT'S A SARDINE THEN I'M THE BLOOMIN' MAY QUEEN FORGIVE US SOME'AT TO CALL ME PLATTER OBSCENE WE WANT PROTEIN OH, IT IS TRUE.
I HAVE NO MEA FOR MY GOURME MEATY MEAT PIES.
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN.]
ARE YOU THE KEEPER OF THE CATS? OUI, OUI.
ALL LES MISÉR-ANIMALS, AS I CALL THEM, ARE OUT IN THE PEN-- MISERABLE STRAYS, EVERY ONE OF THEM.
YOU SEE THIS FUGITIVE? COMES TO THE NAME OF RUNT VALRUNT.
WHAT WAS HIS CRIME, MONSIEUR KEEPER OF THE DOGS? HE STOLE A BONE.
OH, TERRIBLE.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM, MONSIEUR, BUT IF I DO, I WILL NAB HIM FOR YOU.
[COUGHS.]
HUUHH! OH, EVEN THE DOGS WON'T EAT MY PIES.
WITHOUT MEAT, I AM RUINED.
HERE'S A BI OF ADVICE FOR YOU.
WITH THE RIGHT SPICES, CATS CAN BE VERY TASTY.
CATS? NEVER! PERISH THE THOUGHT.
ON THE OTHER HAND [PURRING.]
HELLO, CAT RITA PRIMPING UP HER FUR THINKS SHE'S SUCH A FANCY ONE JUST LISTEN TO HER PURR ARROGANT RITA OH, SO MARVELOUS HAUGHTY, PRECIOUS KITTY BETTER THAN THE REST OF US PEE-YOO, GIRL, YOU'RE ODORIFEROUS [DOOR OPENS.]
GUESS WHAT I SAW I SAW I WITH ME OWN EYES MONSIEUR TRISTESSE HAS NO MORE MEAT FOR HIS PIES BELIEVE IT OR NOT HE THREW FAT CA IN A POT FAT CAT ESCAPED, BU IF TRISTESSE HAS HIS WAY HE'LL MAKE A FAT CAT SOUFFLÉ NO, NOT A CAT IT WAS FAT CAT IT WAS A CAT? A KITTY CAT OH, SAVE US, GOD WE'RE LIVING WITH A SWEENEY TODD GIVE HIM RITA RITA'S NICE AND FAT RITA MUST BE TASTY WHY, SHE'S AN ARISTOCRAT TO THE KITCHEN THROW HER IN THE FAT [ROAR.]
AAH! AAH! AAH! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE LITTLE GUY.
STARLIGHT, STAR BRIGHT, I WISH I WAS ANYPLACE BUT THIS.
THERE IS A FLA IN GAY PAREE SAFE ON A TREE-LINED AVENUE NO CATS À LA CARTE ON THE MENU NOT IN MY FLA IN GAY PAREE THERE IS A CHEF OF FINE CUISINE HE IS A VEGETARIAN AS HE PREPARES A FINE BANQUET HE SAYS RITA, YOU'RE MY BELOVED PET I KNOW A FLA WHERE I CAN NAP SAFE ON A CHAIR OR IN A LAP I WON'T END UP IN A RECIPE NOT IN MY FLA IN GAY PAREE PSST! YOU ARE? I AM DEFINITELY I AM DEFINITELY I AM DEFINITELY RUNT VAL RUNT DEFINITELY.
RITA, GLAD I FOUND YOU SAFE AND SOUND RUNT, WHERE IN THE BLAZES HAVE YOU BEEN? RITA, DOING STRAIGHT TIME IN THE POUND RUNT, GET ME OU OF THIS PEN OOH.
YEOW! YEOW! YEOW! YEOW! UH-OH.
OH, RITA, FAIR RITA, I'M A BAD DOG, DEFINITELY A BAD DOG.
PLEASE DON'T BE UPSET, RUNT IT HARDLY HURTS AT ALL BUT THAT HOLE IS MUCH TOO SMALL TO PULL MY BODY THROUGH WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, YOU BIG BUFFOON? DON'T WORRY IT'S O.
K.
THE PAIN WILL GO AWAY HE MUST HAVE CONFUSED ME FOR A CARTOON I'LL GO GET HELP.
I'LL RETURN.
I DEFINITELY WILL, SO DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
I'LL DEFINITELY-- I'LL RETURN.
DARN.
THERE GOES MY TRIP TO ARUBA.
WHERE'S RUNT VALRUNT? HE'S PROBABLY CHASING HIS TAIL SOMEWHERE.
[BARKING.]
DO YOU HEAR THE POODLES BARK BARKING THE BARKS OF ANGRY MUTTS? IT IS THE HIGH-PITCHED STEP OF PEDIGREE DOGS WHOSE MOUTHS WILL NOT BE SHUT WE WILL BREAK DOWN THE PRISON WALL WE WILL DESTROY THE RESTAURANT WE ARE REVOLTING POODLES FOLLOWING RUNT VALRUNT POODLES OF THE WORLD, UNITE.
HOORAY! HOORAY! FREE LES MISÉR-ANIMALS! DOWN WITH IMPRISONMENT, DEFINITELY DOWN.
DIG DOWN DIG DEEP LES MISÉR-ANIMAL DIG DOWN DIG DEEP TO FREEDOM THROUGH A TUNNEL DOGS AND CATS SHOULDN'T FRATERNIZE YOU WANT TO END UP IN MEAT PIES? RITA'S RIGHT, LET'S USE OUR PAWS I AIN'T GETTIN' DIR BETWEEN ME CLAWS GET OVER YOURSELF.
DIG DOWN DIG DEEP LES MISÉR-ANIMAL DIG DOWN DIG DEEP TO FREEDOM THROUGH A TUNNEL MMM-RRR UHH! MY CATS! VOILÀ! ONE KITTY LEF TO INVITE TO DINNER.
UH, PARDON MOI.
TO INVITE TO BE DINNER.
[CHOMP.]
BITTEN IN ZE BUTT GOT ANOTHER TEAR TOOK A LITTLE NIBBLE FROM MY DERRIÈRE I WILL GET YOU IN ZE END, DOG YOU'LL REGRE YOU BIT ME, CHUM OH, I AM SO IRRITATED I GOT BITTEN IN ZE BUM UHH! UHH! UHH--YUH! [ROAR.]
YEOW! YEOW! YEOW! VALRUNT YOU CUR THERE'S NO ESCAPING ME HA HA HO HO HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE I PROTEST, I'M AN INNOCENT STRAIN YOU'LL GO BACK TO THE POUND CONFESS, CAMENBERT YOU WILL GO BACK YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE I DID NOT STEAL THAT BONE IT WAS YOU I DON' LIKE YOU TOODLE-OO OUCH.
OW-EE.
HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY! TO PARIS? TO PARIS! TO PARIS! AT THE END OF THE ROAD IS THE CITY OF PARIS AT THE END OF THE ROAD IS THE CITY OF LIGHT THE CITY OF ROMANCE WHERE WE CAN BE MERRY AND DANCE AND WITH ANY LUCK AT ALL, WE'LL FIND SHELTER TONIGHT VIVA LA FRANCE I'M YAKKO.
I'M WAKKO.
AND I'M CUTE.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY PARIS, 1905-- HOME OF THE ARC DE TRIOMPHE, THE EIFFEL TOWER, AND LOTS OF FRENCH PEOPLE.
IT WAS HERE THA YOUNG ARTIST PABLO PICASSO STRUGGLED TO BREAK NEW GROUND IN THE WORLD OF PAINTING.
AH! OH.
HUHH.
EH.
HO.
NO, NO.
THIS IS NOT ME.
THIS IS NO MY NEW STYLE.
THIS IS NOT PICASSO.
YOU CAN GO NOW.
MERCI.
GO.
HE'S INSANE.
I'VE GOT A CRAMP IN MY HIND LEG.
FRÈRE WARNER FRÈRE WARNER WHAT'S THAT MEAN? KEEP IT CLEAN YAKKO IS A YAKKER WAKKO IS A SNACKER DOT'S PLAIN CUTE SO'S THIS BOOT STOP! THERE IT IS.
SEE? "MODELS WANTED.
" I'D BE GREAT.
WHAT DOES CHRISTIE BRINKLEY HAVE THAT I DON'T? BILLY JOEL.
IT WAS AN AWFUL MISTAKE.
WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.
WE QUIT.
FINE.
EXCUSE ME, MR.
PICASSO.
WHAT DO YOU WANT? ARE YOU LOOKING FOR MODELS? GO AWAY.
NO MORE DOGS.
PICASSO HAS SEEN ENOUGH DOGS TODAY.
GO AWAY.
WE'RE NOT DOGS.
WELL, THEN, CATS.
NO CATS.
[GONG.]
WE'RE NOT CATS.
YOU ARE LARGE BUGS, MAYBE? NO.
NO.
WE'RE THE WARNER BROS.
AND THE WARNER SISTER.
I'M YAKKO.
I'M WAKKO.
AND I'M AS CUTE AS A BUTTON ON A TEDDY BEAR'S NOSE.
IT'S A EUROPEAN THING.
MWA.
MWA.
MMM.
MMM.
MMM.
MMM.
UGH! PEH! PEH! PEH! PEH-YOO! GO AWAY.
AAH! DID YOU KNOW THERE'S "P.
P" ON YOUR SMOCK? DISGUSTING.
THIS STANDS FOR PABLO PICASSO.
YEAH.
NOW, ABOUT THAT MODELING JOB? NO.
NO.
I NEED PROFESSIONAL MODELS.
I'M A VERY FAMOUS ARTIST.
REALLY? WHA HAVE YOU DONE? I DID THESE IN MY BLUE PERIOD.
AND THESE IN MY ROSE PERIOD.
WHAT'S NEXT, PLAID? I CAN DO PLAID.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S NEXT.
THAT'S WHY YOU MUST LEAVE.
I'M BUSY DISCOVERING A NEW STYLE.
PLEASE GO AWAY.
SO WE SHOULD GO? OUI, OUI.
PARDON? OUI, OUI.
THE STUFF DONE ON KIDS' SHOWS.
GO TO YOUR ROOM UNTIL YOU CLEAN UP YOUR LANGUAGE.
NO.
OUI, OUI MEANS YES, YES! PLEASE, WILL YOU GO AWAY IF I GIVE YOU SOME FRANCS? THE BEANS.
THE CATSUP.
I GOT THE BUNS.
SAYS YOU.
STOP EATING MY WAX FRUIT.
PLEH! ROMANTIC, ISN'T IT? YOU KIDS I--AAH! I CAN'T DO IT.
I'M LOST.
I CANNOT THINK.
MY MIND IS LIKE A BLANK.
BABE, YOU NEED TO RELAX, TAKE YOUR MIND OFF YOUR TROUBLES.
LET'S PLAY A GAME.
GUESS THE PICTURE.
GUESS THE PICTURE.
PABLO'S ON MY TEAM.
PABLO'S ON MY TEAM.
O.
K.
BUT WE GO FIRST.
WHAT? I--OOH! GUESS WHAT I'M DRAWING? UH, UH MOUNT RUSHMORE! THAT'S RIGHT! YAY! 2 SECONDS! YAY! 2 SECONDS.
O.
K.
, PABLO, USE YOUR TALENT.
NO.
I DON'T KNOW.
A SOCK? A DOORKNOB? WILSON PHILLIPS? TIME'S UP.
IS A BULL.
A BULL.
AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ARTIST.
THAT'S A BULL.
OH, BUT THAT'S TERRIBLE.
IT'S UGLY.
NOT ACCORDING TO THE SCOREBOARD, LOSER.
NEXT ROUND.
UH, THE CLOWN THAT STANDS OUTSIDE THE CAR WASH AND WAVES? THAT'S IT.
YAY! 3 SECONDS.
GOSH, UHLIZ TAYLOR? NO! A ROCK? PRESS-ON NAILS? CHEESE? BELLY-BUTTON LINT.
A DNA MOLECULE? THAT GUY IN THE MADONNA VIDEO? TIME'S UP.
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE GOOD AT THIS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
IT'S A GUITAR.
THE NECK, THE STRINGS-- A GUITAR.
THAT'S A GUITAR.
WHAT? THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
IT'S HIDEOUS AND ALL BENT.
A GUITAR? WHAT AM I DOING? I'VE NO TIME FOR THIS.
GET OUT! GET OUT! WE WERE-- OUT! WE DIDN'T-- GO! NOW! [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
I SAID GO-- OH, MONSIEUR CLARK, HEH HEH HEH.
PLEASE, COME IN.
AN ART CRITIC OF YOUR MAGNITUDE IS ALWAYS WELCOME.
I HAVE COME TO SEE YOUR NEW WORK, PICASSO.
I WISH TO DO A FEATURE ARTICLE ON IT.
WELL, UH, THE NEW WORK? UH, WHAT IS THIS? THAT? OH, THAT'S A-- FANTASTIC! GENIUS.
IS THERE MORE? UMWHY, YES, THERE IS.
PICASSO, ONCE AGAIN, YOU STAND THE ART WORLD ON ITS EAR.
HOW DO YOU DO IT? UH, I STEAL IT? HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! I'LL TAKE THAT ONE.
I BUY.
I BUY.
ANY PRICE.
PLEASE, I MUST HAVE IT.
[CASHBOX RINGS.]
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, MES AMIS.
WE GET PAID IN FRANKS.
[WHISTLES BLOW.]
[ARF ARF.]
[ARF ARF.]
RUNT VALRUNT I'LL TRACK YOU DOWN, I SWEAR NO MATTER WHERE YOU RUN I WILL BE THERE I CAMENBERT [MEOW.]
[MEOW.]
WELCOME TO THE FRENCH REVOLUTION.
THIS IS INTOLERABLE.
MONSIEUR TRISTESSE! MONSIEUR? AT THE END OF MY FORK IS AN UNKNOWN FOOD PRODUCT YOU MISERABLE FOOL THAT'S A BI OF SARDINE IF THAT'S A SARDINE THEN I'M THE BLOOMIN' MAY QUEEN FORGIVE US SOME'AT TO CALL ME PLATTER OBSCENE WE WANT PROTEIN OH, IT IS TRUE.
I HAVE NO MEA FOR MY GOURME MEATY MEAT PIES.
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN.]
ARE YOU THE KEEPER OF THE CATS? OUI, OUI.
ALL LES MISÉR-ANIMALS, AS I CALL THEM, ARE OUT IN THE PEN-- MISERABLE STRAYS, EVERY ONE OF THEM.
YOU SEE THIS FUGITIVE? COMES TO THE NAME OF RUNT VALRUNT.
WHAT WAS HIS CRIME, MONSIEUR KEEPER OF THE DOGS? HE STOLE A BONE.
OH, TERRIBLE.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM, MONSIEUR, BUT IF I DO, I WILL NAB HIM FOR YOU.
[COUGHS.]
HUUHH! OH, EVEN THE DOGS WON'T EAT MY PIES.
WITHOUT MEAT, I AM RUINED.
HERE'S A BI OF ADVICE FOR YOU.
WITH THE RIGHT SPICES, CATS CAN BE VERY TASTY.
CATS? NEVER! PERISH THE THOUGHT.
ON THE OTHER HAND [PURRING.]
HELLO, CAT RITA PRIMPING UP HER FUR THINKS SHE'S SUCH A FANCY ONE JUST LISTEN TO HER PURR ARROGANT RITA OH, SO MARVELOUS HAUGHTY, PRECIOUS KITTY BETTER THAN THE REST OF US PEE-YOO, GIRL, YOU'RE ODORIFEROUS [DOOR OPENS.]
GUESS WHAT I SAW I SAW I WITH ME OWN EYES MONSIEUR TRISTESSE HAS NO MORE MEAT FOR HIS PIES BELIEVE IT OR NOT HE THREW FAT CA IN A POT FAT CAT ESCAPED, BU IF TRISTESSE HAS HIS WAY HE'LL MAKE A FAT CAT SOUFFLÉ NO, NOT A CAT IT WAS FAT CAT IT WAS A CAT? A KITTY CAT OH, SAVE US, GOD WE'RE LIVING WITH A SWEENEY TODD GIVE HIM RITA RITA'S NICE AND FAT RITA MUST BE TASTY WHY, SHE'S AN ARISTOCRAT TO THE KITCHEN THROW HER IN THE FAT [ROAR.]
AAH! AAH! AAH! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE LITTLE GUY.
STARLIGHT, STAR BRIGHT, I WISH I WAS ANYPLACE BUT THIS.
THERE IS A FLA IN GAY PAREE SAFE ON A TREE-LINED AVENUE NO CATS À LA CARTE ON THE MENU NOT IN MY FLA IN GAY PAREE THERE IS A CHEF OF FINE CUISINE HE IS A VEGETARIAN AS HE PREPARES A FINE BANQUET HE SAYS RITA, YOU'RE MY BELOVED PET I KNOW A FLA WHERE I CAN NAP SAFE ON A CHAIR OR IN A LAP I WON'T END UP IN A RECIPE NOT IN MY FLA IN GAY PAREE PSST! YOU ARE? I AM DEFINITELY I AM DEFINITELY I AM DEFINITELY RUNT VAL RUNT DEFINITELY.
RITA, GLAD I FOUND YOU SAFE AND SOUND RUNT, WHERE IN THE BLAZES HAVE YOU BEEN? RITA, DOING STRAIGHT TIME IN THE POUND RUNT, GET ME OU OF THIS PEN OOH.
YEOW! YEOW! YEOW! YEOW! UH-OH.
OH, RITA, FAIR RITA, I'M A BAD DOG, DEFINITELY A BAD DOG.
PLEASE DON'T BE UPSET, RUNT IT HARDLY HURTS AT ALL BUT THAT HOLE IS MUCH TOO SMALL TO PULL MY BODY THROUGH WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, YOU BIG BUFFOON? DON'T WORRY IT'S O.
K.
THE PAIN WILL GO AWAY HE MUST HAVE CONFUSED ME FOR A CARTOON I'LL GO GET HELP.
I'LL RETURN.
I DEFINITELY WILL, SO DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
I'LL DEFINITELY-- I'LL RETURN.
DARN.
THERE GOES MY TRIP TO ARUBA.
WHERE'S RUNT VALRUNT? HE'S PROBABLY CHASING HIS TAIL SOMEWHERE.
[BARKING.]
DO YOU HEAR THE POODLES BARK BARKING THE BARKS OF ANGRY MUTTS? IT IS THE HIGH-PITCHED STEP OF PEDIGREE DOGS WHOSE MOUTHS WILL NOT BE SHUT WE WILL BREAK DOWN THE PRISON WALL WE WILL DESTROY THE RESTAURANT WE ARE REVOLTING POODLES FOLLOWING RUNT VALRUNT POODLES OF THE WORLD, UNITE.
HOORAY! HOORAY! FREE LES MISÉR-ANIMALS! DOWN WITH IMPRISONMENT, DEFINITELY DOWN.
DIG DOWN DIG DEEP LES MISÉR-ANIMAL DIG DOWN DIG DEEP TO FREEDOM THROUGH A TUNNEL DOGS AND CATS SHOULDN'T FRATERNIZE YOU WANT TO END UP IN MEAT PIES? RITA'S RIGHT, LET'S USE OUR PAWS I AIN'T GETTIN' DIR BETWEEN ME CLAWS GET OVER YOURSELF.
DIG DOWN DIG DEEP LES MISÉR-ANIMAL DIG DOWN DIG DEEP TO FREEDOM THROUGH A TUNNEL MMM-RRR UHH! MY CATS! VOILÀ! ONE KITTY LEF TO INVITE TO DINNER.
UH, PARDON MOI.
TO INVITE TO BE DINNER.
[CHOMP.]
BITTEN IN ZE BUTT GOT ANOTHER TEAR TOOK A LITTLE NIBBLE FROM MY DERRIÈRE I WILL GET YOU IN ZE END, DOG YOU'LL REGRE YOU BIT ME, CHUM OH, I AM SO IRRITATED I GOT BITTEN IN ZE BUM UHH! UHH! UHH--YUH! [ROAR.]
YEOW! YEOW! YEOW! VALRUNT YOU CUR THERE'S NO ESCAPING ME HA HA HO HO HA HA HA HEE HEE HEE I PROTEST, I'M AN INNOCENT STRAIN YOU'LL GO BACK TO THE POUND CONFESS, CAMENBERT YOU WILL GO BACK YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE I DID NOT STEAL THAT BONE IT WAS YOU I DON' LIKE YOU TOODLE-OO OUCH.
OW-EE.
HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY! HOORAY! TO PARIS? TO PARIS! TO PARIS! AT THE END OF THE ROAD IS THE CITY OF PARIS AT THE END OF THE ROAD IS THE CITY OF LIGHT THE CITY OF ROMANCE WHERE WE CAN BE MERRY AND DANCE AND WITH ANY LUCK AT ALL, WE'LL FIND SHELTER TONIGHT VIVA LA FRANCE I'M YAKKO.
I'M WAKKO.
AND I'M CUTE.