Phineas and Ferb s01e46 Episode Script

What should we do today? Build an underwater skate park? Sounds pretty wicked! Fly with rocket-powered bat wings? Awesome! Teach Perry tricks.
He's just a platypus.
He doesn't do much.
Oh, hi, Isabella.
Hey, Phineas.
You might wanna go check up on Baljeet.
I was walking by his house and heard him scream "Aiiieeee! I'm doomed to be an incompetent flunkee forever! Ever ever ever" I added the echo part.
Sounds pretty serious.
Baljeet! It's Phineas and Ferb.
Why are all the lights off? Darkness is a shroud that hides my shame.
Hey, buddy.
Why don't you tell us what's going on.
Because of the 17 summer school classes I am taking, I qualified for the science fair.
So I decided to design this.
A portal to Mars? Cool! No! Not cool.
When I showed my teacher, he said A portal to Mars? And what does it do? Well, without over-complicating things, it's a portal to Mars.
You step through it and you're on Mars.
Well, this is very creative.
But, unless you can build a working model, the best I can give you is An A-minus?! That would be the worst grade of my life! Why don't you just build one? I am not mechanically inclined like the two of you.
To truly understand my predicament, I feel it will be best expressed in a song.
(Song: Baliwood) From the mountains of the Himalayas To the valleys of Kashmir My forefathers and their four fathers Knew one thing very clear That to be a great success in life You have to make the grade But if I cannot build a prototype My dreams will be puréed Puréed! Puréed! I know what we're going to do today! Ferb and I are on the case! We'll help you build your prototype You won't be a disgrace! Good! With your mechanical inclinations And my scientific expertise We are a team that can not be beaten Wait! Something just occurred to me! Where's Perry? Where's Perry? Did you have him when you came over? Do-be-do-be-do-ba-do Oh.
Uh.
Agent P.
It appears that Doofenshmirtz has made some rather unusual purchases.
Chicken wire, three metric tons of baking soda and lederhosen.
You know those leather bib-front shorts that make you look like a walking cuckoo clock? Man, he is one sick puppy.
You're all set for the science fair tomorrow.
Inside I am thanking you a thousand times, even though on the outside I remain quite frugal.
Wow, Baljeet.
You're already set up.
I have been here since midnight waiting for everyone! I can't stop smiling! I have got cramps in my cheeks.
Here.
Let me help you.
There you go, buddy.
Ahh.
Now I'll just hang out and "be cool" till my teacher gets here.
Uh-oh.
It is happening again! Oh, yeah, Jeremy.
No one makes a corn dog like you.
Oh.
Hi, Candace.
Nice binoculars.
Yep.
Yep, they definitely are working.
I-I just bought these for my dad and was just, uh You know Making sure that they work, and they sure do.
You can see really far away or really up close.
"Help wanted"? Yeah! You should apply.
We could work together.
You mean side by side? Hi, there.
I'm really really motivated! Really really really positive! Really really high-energy! And would like to apply for the job.
Excuse me.
I-I would also like to apply for the job.
Well, ladies, I'm afraid I only have one opening.
How about a competition to see who gets the job? Sounds like a great idea to me.
Good luck.
Ooh Too slow.
I think I'll call you, Molasses.
Molasses.
Well, I think I'll call you something Slower than molasses, that's for sure.
This isn't part of the competition, is it? Oh, Perry the Platypus, welcome to my truck of doom.
I suppose you're wondering why I'm wearing lederhosen.
What? I've got the legs for it! Eh? Eh? Eh? Anyway, it will all become clear soon enough! Come on, Hansel! Move it! Hey, wise guy, I'm exp Oh! Oh-ho-ho! Sorry, madam.
Sorry.
Her voice was so masculine and growly.
I thought it was a man.
I mean, people must call her "sir" all the time on the phone.
It must be so, em Uh Ha.
She's standing right behind me now, isn't she? Not one word, Perry the Platypus.
Oh, great! A line! Oh, brother! What is this, a model of Pluto? That planet doesn't even exist anymore, you moron! Thanks for holding my spot in line, little brother.
What were you saying about Pluto? Nothing.
I'm– I'm sure it's I suppose you are wondering why I am putting myself through all of this.
When I was young, I entered a science fair with my very first Inator.
I was– I wasn't very clever with names yet.
It was just, you know, Inator.
Just as I was about to demonstrate my invention to the judges, a kid with a baking soda volcano stole the show! The next year, I tried again with my even bigger Inator.
And again, my thunder was stolen by a baking soda volcano! I'd had enough of science.
I decided to devote my life to poetry instead.
The movies are gray, the TV is black, the horses are running, please bring me some food.
Yet, curiously, I still lost to a baking soda volcano! But never again! Behold! The world's largest baking soda volcano! I mean, it– it's got to be the biggest one here, right? It's gonna win.
I feel confident.
Next? Oh, we're next.
Aren't you a little old to be entering this science fair? No! What makes you say that? I– I mean, look at me! I'm wearing lederhosen! Okay.
Go ahead.
See? I know what I'm doing.
Hi, Mr.
McGillicuddy.
Well, I see you've built yourself a prototype.
But the question still remains.
Does it work? Well, I think Of course it works! Baljeet, fire it up.
Okay.
So I see the science fair.
Take a closer look, Mr.
McGillicuddy.
Wow! A science fair on Mars! Baljeet, you have just validated my entire career as an educator! You get an A+++! I'm gonna go get the judges! Soon I will show them the havoc created when an acid and a base combine! But first I have to find an outlet 'cause there's a nice little laser show that goes along with it.
Ah, there, we'll just take this out and put mine in.
Evil.
It's right over here.
Baljeet, show our judges what Mr.
McGillicuddy has taught you.
Uh.
Um Let– Uh.
Just a moment.
It takes the skilled hand of a master professor.
Hello? Mr.
Martian! It's Mr.
McGillicuddy.
Uno momento.
Who's up for corn dogs? I am.
Aha! Turn it all the way up to high.
Yes! That should do it.
I wonder what's wrong with the portal? Ah, no matter.
Personally, I never cared about winning.
I just wanted a good grade.
Ahh.
Well, who's up for corn dogs? Me! Girls, your first task is to dress these dogs with ketchup and mustard.
I'll be back in a little bit to check your work.
Good luck! Hey, no fair! I ran out of ketchup.
Oops.
Now I'm out of ketchup.
Oops.
Now I'm out of mustard.
Oh, look.
I'm out of relish! Oh, it's gotta work.
It's gotta work! Ah! Oh.
Huh? Now just add some vinegar and– It just wasn't plugged in.
There's an outlet over there.
It's working! It's working! Ew, gross! I smell like salad.
Say goodbye to this pair of lederhosen.
Hey! I'm unhurt! Yes! I am invincible! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, where are we going? All right.
So what was it you wanted to show us? N– N– No! It– It-It was here! Well– Uh Come on, let's go find a real winner.
But But it did But it did But it did Excuse me.
Am I too late to enter? Are those mechanical arms? Why, yes.
I used them to make this baking soda volcano.
A baking soda volcano? Cool! First prize! Oh, come on! But it did Well, seeing as how you used most of my ketchup and mustard to dress yourselves, I'm afraid neither of you get the job.
Snail! I'll call you Snail.
Ha! Ooh.
You're quick.
I just can't believe you guys built a portal to Mars and didn't go through it yourselves! Oh, we did.
But that's another story.
Oh, look.
There's Perry!