Clarence US (2014) s01e47 Episode Script
The Big Petey Pizza Problem
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Clarence: I think Jeff says there's gonna be pizza at the party.
Sumo: Huh, cool.
Look at the shoes.
Look at all the lanes.
They got one of those.
There you guys are.
- Happy birthday, buddy.
- Yeah, Jeff.
Happy birthday.
I was worried you guys had got lost or Oh, I made you this super special.
It's just for you.
It's a birthday hat.
I-I made it myself.
Just look at the look at the macaroni.
- I glued it on myself.
- eOh, uh, thanks, Clarence, but we've already got hats over here.
There it is.
Oh, yeah.
So cheesy.
But you can still wear your own hat if you want.
Cheesy pizza.
Now it's time for presents.
- Happy birthday, buddy.
- Yeah! Oh.
Thank you.
Now that we got our presents out of the way, let's get this bowl-a-rama going.
All right! One pair of shoes, please.
Big boy size.
Okay, but what size is that? Oh, uh, it's about this big.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, everyone.
Gather 'round.
Before we start, I thought we could go over a few rules.
Let's see.
Order will go boy, girl, boy, girl.
Try to keep all your pins in your own lane.
Oh, and I made this pie chart for you guys.
- The blue represents the - Um, I have a question.
When we're gonna bowl? 'Cause I thought this was a bowling party.
Well, actually, we're doing rules first, then bowling.
Oh! Um, Sumo said there was gonna be 100 pizzas.
- I didn't say that.
- And I only saw one pizza.
So I was wondering when the rest of the 99 were coming out.
Actually, Clarence, you showed up late, so we ate all the pizza.
But we do have cake coming out later, so there's nothing to worry about.
So, the standard bowling cycle provides two opportunities There's got to be a way.
Mm.
There's got to be a way.
Jeff: european rules indicate using nine pins.
Yeah.
Cheesy pizza.
Now, let's get this party started! Whoo-hoo! Sumo, wait! I know how we're gonna get that pizza.
All right.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on! Hyah! Huh? The power of probability! That's it! Hey, Jeff, I-I know it's your birthday and everything, but what do you think about putting up some bumpers? Well, I guess that would make it easier.
But we could also do it the real way.
Wha! Even better than last time.
I don't know how we're gonna get that pizza, Sumo.
Look at Jeff out there.
I just wish he'd knock down a pin or something.
Winner, winner! We have a winner! Winner? We have a winner! We have a winner! Jeff! You did it, buddy! You did it! You really are a good bowler.
- I never doubted you, Jeff.
- Thanks, guys, but did what? Did what? Just look on the TV.
All: Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Uhh another birthday? All right, people, I know that noise was loud, but let's get back to bowling.
Eyes on your own lane.
- Key to success.
- Whoa, he has bumpers.
- Is this gonna be a double birthday? - Come on, guys.
We know there's only one birthday, and it's mine.
Greetings, Jeff.
Gilben asked me to say happy birthday, so bah.
- Oh.
Uh - He also wants to know if you would like our parties to form an alliance.
- A "double birthday," if you will.
- No, thanks.
We kind of have our own thing going on.
Kid: Gilben! Okay, well, Gilben sends his blessings.
Bah.
"Sends his blessing.
" What does that even mean? I can't believe I'm gonna eat ya.
Is this really happening? Mmm.
Get in my mouth.
Oh, yeah.
All right, guys, who's ready for another round - of watch Jeff get a stri - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday, Gilben! - Happy birthday! Happy birthday.
Uh, well I guess it's just you and me.
I hate bowling.
Hey, birthday buddy.
How come you're over here and not over at Gilben and your's double birthday? What the heck is a double birthday? Is that even a thing? Why is everyone saying that? Everyone saw you run over and eat that dumb pizza, and those dumb bumpers, and they all ran off.
Ran off to Gilben.
That charming snake.
Aw, it's not so bad.
- Come on, Jeff.
- Hey, wait.
No.
- Let's mingle.
- Gosh, stop manhandling me.
Wow.
What's going on? Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Winner, winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! He's using bumpers! How do you get a perfect game from using bumpers? I heard that playing with bumpers is just as hard as playing without them.
- Says who? - Um my uncle.
He's the he made bumpers.
He invented bumpers.
You believe me, right? All: Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! - Ow! - Attention, everyone! Jeff's birthday guests, come back.
There's no double birthday.
There's two single birthdays.
Easy mistake, I know.
- So, if you can just - Hey, kids.
We heard that you guys combined your birthday parties.
That's so mature.
We decided to help make it official with this cake.
Um, my name's Jeff.
Oh, dear.
I'll fix that for you right away.
It's time to sing the song of birth.
And a one, and a two, and a ready, let's go.
It's someone's birthday let's all shout hooray invite all the children Gilben.
The golden boy.
With that luscious hair, pristine smile, good people skills.
I swear if I hear his name one more time, I'll children to celebrate Gilben You've ruined Gilben's cake! It's not his cake! It was supposed to be mine! Then both of ours.
I but it was supposed wasn't even that! Jeff, pal, take it easy.
Clarence, this is practically your fault! You started this whole Gilben craze.
And now you won't even stand up for your best friend? Huh? I am not being a baby.
You took over my whole party.
- Gilben! - That's it! There can only be one birthday! You get that one for free.
Oh! Oh! How are you dodging everything? Ooh! - Give me that.
- Whoa, thanks, man.
No, thank you.
What am I doing, you ask? Something I should've done a long time ago.
Winner, winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! Jeff, don't become a super villain and destroy everything with a bowling ball and bowling-themed gadgets! I'm over here.
- Jeff, I'm sorry.
- It's not your fault, Clarence.
Although you did seem more excited to see pizza than me.
- I have a pizza problem.
- But I overreacted big time.
I-I just wanted things to go exactly as planned, you know, for one day.
I'm really sorry today didn't turn out perfect.
You're pretty much the most perfect person I know.
So, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make the rest of your day even perfecter.
But first, birthday boy needs a birthday hat.
Thanks.
By the way, this toy's actually kind of neat.
- It's like I can't look away.
- Oh, yeah.
Hey, what are you guys doing? Oh.
Hey, Gilben.
Uh, I just wanted to apologize for making a mess of things and trying to beat you up, and I'll just leave you guys alone.
Happy birthday.
Camden: Jeffrey, wait.
Wow.
I-Is that for me? Gee, thanks, Gilben.
But where did you get another cake so quickly? Oh! Oh, Gilben! You're just too much.
Sumo: Huh, cool.
Look at the shoes.
Look at all the lanes.
They got one of those.
There you guys are.
- Happy birthday, buddy.
- Yeah, Jeff.
Happy birthday.
I was worried you guys had got lost or Oh, I made you this super special.
It's just for you.
It's a birthday hat.
I-I made it myself.
Just look at the look at the macaroni.
- I glued it on myself.
- eOh, uh, thanks, Clarence, but we've already got hats over here.
There it is.
Oh, yeah.
So cheesy.
But you can still wear your own hat if you want.
Cheesy pizza.
Now it's time for presents.
- Happy birthday, buddy.
- Yeah! Oh.
Thank you.
Now that we got our presents out of the way, let's get this bowl-a-rama going.
All right! One pair of shoes, please.
Big boy size.
Okay, but what size is that? Oh, uh, it's about this big.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, everyone.
Gather 'round.
Before we start, I thought we could go over a few rules.
Let's see.
Order will go boy, girl, boy, girl.
Try to keep all your pins in your own lane.
Oh, and I made this pie chart for you guys.
- The blue represents the - Um, I have a question.
When we're gonna bowl? 'Cause I thought this was a bowling party.
Well, actually, we're doing rules first, then bowling.
Oh! Um, Sumo said there was gonna be 100 pizzas.
- I didn't say that.
- And I only saw one pizza.
So I was wondering when the rest of the 99 were coming out.
Actually, Clarence, you showed up late, so we ate all the pizza.
But we do have cake coming out later, so there's nothing to worry about.
So, the standard bowling cycle provides two opportunities There's got to be a way.
Mm.
There's got to be a way.
Jeff: european rules indicate using nine pins.
Yeah.
Cheesy pizza.
Now, let's get this party started! Whoo-hoo! Sumo, wait! I know how we're gonna get that pizza.
All right.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on! Hyah! Huh? The power of probability! That's it! Hey, Jeff, I-I know it's your birthday and everything, but what do you think about putting up some bumpers? Well, I guess that would make it easier.
But we could also do it the real way.
Wha! Even better than last time.
I don't know how we're gonna get that pizza, Sumo.
Look at Jeff out there.
I just wish he'd knock down a pin or something.
Winner, winner! We have a winner! Winner? We have a winner! We have a winner! Jeff! You did it, buddy! You did it! You really are a good bowler.
- I never doubted you, Jeff.
- Thanks, guys, but did what? Did what? Just look on the TV.
All: Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Uhh another birthday? All right, people, I know that noise was loud, but let's get back to bowling.
Eyes on your own lane.
- Key to success.
- Whoa, he has bumpers.
- Is this gonna be a double birthday? - Come on, guys.
We know there's only one birthday, and it's mine.
Greetings, Jeff.
Gilben asked me to say happy birthday, so bah.
- Oh.
Uh - He also wants to know if you would like our parties to form an alliance.
- A "double birthday," if you will.
- No, thanks.
We kind of have our own thing going on.
Kid: Gilben! Okay, well, Gilben sends his blessings.
Bah.
"Sends his blessing.
" What does that even mean? I can't believe I'm gonna eat ya.
Is this really happening? Mmm.
Get in my mouth.
Oh, yeah.
All right, guys, who's ready for another round - of watch Jeff get a stri - Happy birthday! - Happy birthday, Gilben! - Happy birthday! Happy birthday.
Uh, well I guess it's just you and me.
I hate bowling.
Hey, birthday buddy.
How come you're over here and not over at Gilben and your's double birthday? What the heck is a double birthday? Is that even a thing? Why is everyone saying that? Everyone saw you run over and eat that dumb pizza, and those dumb bumpers, and they all ran off.
Ran off to Gilben.
That charming snake.
Aw, it's not so bad.
- Come on, Jeff.
- Hey, wait.
No.
- Let's mingle.
- Gosh, stop manhandling me.
Wow.
What's going on? Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Winner, winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! He's using bumpers! How do you get a perfect game from using bumpers? I heard that playing with bumpers is just as hard as playing without them.
- Says who? - Um my uncle.
He's the he made bumpers.
He invented bumpers.
You believe me, right? All: Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! Gilben! - Ow! - Attention, everyone! Jeff's birthday guests, come back.
There's no double birthday.
There's two single birthdays.
Easy mistake, I know.
- So, if you can just - Hey, kids.
We heard that you guys combined your birthday parties.
That's so mature.
We decided to help make it official with this cake.
Um, my name's Jeff.
Oh, dear.
I'll fix that for you right away.
It's time to sing the song of birth.
And a one, and a two, and a ready, let's go.
It's someone's birthday let's all shout hooray invite all the children Gilben.
The golden boy.
With that luscious hair, pristine smile, good people skills.
I swear if I hear his name one more time, I'll children to celebrate Gilben You've ruined Gilben's cake! It's not his cake! It was supposed to be mine! Then both of ours.
I but it was supposed wasn't even that! Jeff, pal, take it easy.
Clarence, this is practically your fault! You started this whole Gilben craze.
And now you won't even stand up for your best friend? Huh? I am not being a baby.
You took over my whole party.
- Gilben! - That's it! There can only be one birthday! You get that one for free.
Oh! Oh! How are you dodging everything? Ooh! - Give me that.
- Whoa, thanks, man.
No, thank you.
What am I doing, you ask? Something I should've done a long time ago.
Winner, winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner! Jeff, don't become a super villain and destroy everything with a bowling ball and bowling-themed gadgets! I'm over here.
- Jeff, I'm sorry.
- It's not your fault, Clarence.
Although you did seem more excited to see pizza than me.
- I have a pizza problem.
- But I overreacted big time.
I-I just wanted things to go exactly as planned, you know, for one day.
I'm really sorry today didn't turn out perfect.
You're pretty much the most perfect person I know.
So, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make the rest of your day even perfecter.
But first, birthday boy needs a birthday hat.
Thanks.
By the way, this toy's actually kind of neat.
- It's like I can't look away.
- Oh, yeah.
Hey, what are you guys doing? Oh.
Hey, Gilben.
Uh, I just wanted to apologize for making a mess of things and trying to beat you up, and I'll just leave you guys alone.
Happy birthday.
Camden: Jeffrey, wait.
Wow.
I-Is that for me? Gee, thanks, Gilben.
But where did you get another cake so quickly? Oh! Oh, Gilben! You're just too much.