Phineas and Ferb s01e47 Episode Script

To truly understand my predicament, I feel it will be best expressed in a song.
Let's see.
Who should I call first to hang out with? How about Jeremy! Hey.
It's Jeremy.
You know what to do after the– Oh, hey, Jeremy.
It's Candace.
Uh Just seeing what's going on today.
Call me back if you want to.
Okay.
Bye! Oh, man.
That never gets easier.
Oh, well.
I'll just call Stacy.
She's probably been waiting by the phone all morning.
You've reached Stacy's mobile.
Leave a message, and I'll get back to you.
Hey, Stace! It's Candace.
Where are you? Call me! Hmm.
That's weird.
Who else can I call? I know! Jenny! I haven't seen her since the boys built a beach in the backyard.
Hello.
Uh Jenny, hey, it's Candy.
Leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Call me.
Hmm.
Who else do I know? Becky, this is Candace.
I know we haven't talked since kindergarten, but Hey, Wendy.
This is Candace.
We shared a seat on the bus to planetarium.
Hello? Clarissa, this is Candace.
We played volleyball at camp.
Jill? Nancy? Barbara? Olga? Chicago Joe! Information.
See a movie with me.
Where is everyone? Are they all out having fun without me? So, all my friends need some time to themselves, huh? Well, not without me, they're not.
Yeah, I'm looking for Jeremy too.
I need him to work tomorrow.
Our fry guy just defected over to Taco Tepee.
You win this one, Cooks with Grease! Am I that bad to hang out with? Ooh! A text message.
And it's from Stacy! "CYL, BFF, S.
" What does that mean? Let's see.
"Candace, you loser.
Bad friendships fail.
Stacy.
" Harsh.
Feels like I don't exist anymore, like I'm a nobody.
I wish I could go to some cool faraway place and start over.
Wait a minute.
Those are Phineas and Ferb's bikes! Inside I am thanking you a thousand times, even though on the outside I remain quite frugal.
See you tomorrow.
What are you guys up to? We just built a teleport to a cool, faraway place.
Well, that's all I needed to hear! Candace Flynn is out.
Peace! Welcome to Mars.
Mars?! Oh, no! The portal is broken! Ooh, now I will not get a good grade at the science fair tomorrow, and– Uh There's also the issue of your sister stranded on a distant, barren planet.
Don't worry, we can fix it.
Heh.
Candace is probably laughing about it as we speak! Phineas! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Perry the Platypus, what's up? Oh, are you here to–? Oh, no, no, no.
I-I'm running a little behind.
I'm still in the middle of basic plotting and scheming.
Plus, I-I can't give you my evil scheme monologue because I write that last.
Sorry, that's just how I roll.
Wait, wait! Why don't you help me? That way I can finish faster and you can defeat me faster.
It's – It's win-win! Let-Let me grab my coupons.
We'll start by shopping for some supplies.
You guys are so busted! busted busted busted busted Now I truly am alone.
Hey, it's one of those Mars Rovers.
I'm saved! I can't take it anymore! I've been staring at red rocks for 20 years! That's all there is on that stupid planet! Red rocks! Face it, there's no life on Mars.
That's it! I'm shutting this place down! Game over! Stupid Rover! You're not going to ignore me too.
Take that, you ugly, unmanned exploratory vehicle! And that! Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Huh? What are you? What's going on? What are you doing? Put me down! There! I think we fixed it.
No.
That is Venus.
And that is Earth in prehistoric time.
Change it, change it, change it! Hey, look.
It is us in the future fixing the portal.
Hello, Baljeet of the past! Just watch us.
That is how we learned to fix it.
Gesundheit! Thanks.
It worked.
Cool! Okay.
Give us 20 minutes to find Candace, then open up the portal.
Ooh, please be careful.
I still need your help at the science fair tomorrow.
Hmm.
Something tells me Candace was here.
Good thing you brought your tools.
I got an idea.
Okay, what's going on? Ooh.
You're making me your ruler? Cool! Let's get this party started! Crank the tunes.
Uh You know, music.
You guys don't know what music is? Well, it's like It's like this.
(Song: Queen of Mars) That's it! You're getting it.
I was just a lonely girl Lookin' for a little fun Though without a friend in the world I was forced to find a new one Now I'm the queen of Mars, I was invisible on Earth It only took a magic portal to Mars to give me some self-worth You put a crown on my head And you all seem to worship me Well you don't understand a word I've said Still you treat me like royalty 'Cause I'm the queen of Mars, I was invisible on Earth It only took a magic portal to Mars to give me some self-worth Whoo-hoo! Follow that music, Ferb! You are much more attentive than my friends on Earth, and better at building statues of me.
Come on, let's walk and talk.
Of course, I'll do most of the talking.
To make things easier, I'll call you Good Stacy, and you, Good Jenny.
And– Huh? Oh, okay, what the heck? Hey, Candace.
Phineas? Ferb? We're here to rescue you.
Why would I go back to being a nobody when I could be the queen of here? Well, there's a lot of– Uh Candace? What's up with your friends? Ah, ignore them.
They're harmless.
Hey, why don't you hang out a while so you can tell everyone how popular I've become.
Okay, I've already got the chicken wire.
Let's see.
Oh, here! You– You take the list and cross things off as we go.
Should we get something for later, like uh Like one of those big pickles or a three-bean salad? Well, that was awkward.
Uh, I'm just gonna go for a walk.
Uh-uh, guys, not now, okay? No, no, really.
I would just like to go for a walk alone.
Ugh! There you are! Where've you guys been? Ferb was just explaining to the Martians how we got here.
Oh.
Wait, what? Ferb speaks Martian.
They're really excited about the idea of a science fair.
Figures.
I'm the queen of little green nerds.
Can you tell them that I just want a little time to myself? They say fine, but not without them.
Ugh! Okay, just because I need to do things without you sometimes, doesn't mean I don't like you or don't appreciate your friendship.
But Candace, isn't that– Yeah, yeah, just like my friends with me.
Whoop-de-doo! It appears the Martians are blaming us for their queen wanting to leave.
Quick! Get in! Queen Candace is out! Peace! Did you know they could do that? No, but get this.
Every part of their body is a musical instrument, and they never even discovered music before.
Martians are so lame.
Hey, Candace.
You got your cell phone on you? Hello, Baljeet? How is it we have bars here? We kinda need you to open the portal now.
They're gaining on us! Perry the Platypus, thanks for your help.
I usually hate shopping, but, you know, you make it fun.
What, that? Oh, that's my first Inator.
Good story.
I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.
Well, I should probably get back to my latest evil scheme! So long sucker! Mom! Mom! Well, hello, Candace.
Where've you been? I want you to see my telescope.
A telescope? Perfect! You know, I– I don't even remember what this does.
Oh, that's right, it just shoots a beam into space.
No wonder I lost to a baking soda volcano.
Phineas and Ferb built this portal to Mars and I went through it and was crowned queen of the Martians.
Now I know it sounds crazy, but this time, I have proof.
Who does that look like? Hmm.
Well, it looks a little like a rhesus monkey wearing a powdered wig.
What? Let me see that.
But-but-but– But-but-but-but– Hey, Candace.
Oh, there you are, guys! Where have you been all day? I was at the dentist.
I was taking my little sister to the movies.
Didn't you get my text message? "Call you later.
Best friends forever.
Stacy.
" Oh.
That's what I thought it said.
It's funny.
I kind of thought you guys were avoiding me.
Actually, I was trying to avoid you.
Do I know you? No.
That's how great it's been working.
Unknown guy is out.
Peace! I am invincible! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, where are we going? Where am I? O-Okay.
Be cool, okay? Oh, you're going to make me your king? Well, okay, if you must.
I'm– What? Oh, come on!