Ducktales (1987) s01e48 Episode Script

Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck-blur Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history DuckTales, ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab onto some DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales Ooh-ooh Not ponytails or cottontails, no, DuckTales Ooh-ooh There's Bruno.
Let's go.
Whoa! Aah! Whoa! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Hey, what's the big idea? Psst.
- Here's the delivery.
- Sorry.
Heh-heh.
Gotta delivery this box for Mr.
McD.
Maybe next time.
Are you insane? You've gotta take this to Geneva.
Well, if you insist.
But who's Geneva? - New girl in town? - Cut the jokes, Bruno.
OK, buster.
J.
Gander Hoover wants to see you.
Hold it, hold it.
I've already got two deliveries.
He'll have to wait his turn.
Sheesh.
Last chance to tell us what you know, Bruno.
Well, I know my name isn't Bruno.
- Mr.
McD, you got my message! - What have you done this time? We caught Bruno on the subway, Mr.
Hoover.
Remarkable resemblance.
He looks more like Bruno than you-know-who-no.
- OK, Lunchpail.
- Launchpad! Whatever.
We need a spy who can impersonate Bruno Von Beak.
A double agent, someone who can locate FOWL.
You got the wrong guy.
I wouldn't know the first place to look for chickens.
No, not "fowl.
" F-O-W-L, the Foreign Organization for World Larceny.
You are the only one who can stop FOWL's leader - the infamous Dr.
Nogood.
Don't do it, Launchpad.
It sounds too risky.
But Dr.
Nogood's planning to destroy the world's money supply.
Nothing's too risky when it comes to money.
Where does he sign up? Before we send you out into the code world, our inventor must familiarize you with your spy equipment, Lunchpail.
- Launchpad! - Whatever.
Gyro! You work for the DIA, too? I can't pay my rent inventing things for Mr.
McDuck.
And around here they call me G.
Now for your mission.
You must wear this toupee.
I get it.
This is to make me look like Bruno.
Yes, but this is no ordinary toupee.
It's a toupee pistol, a Wig .
45 Hairy.
What's this? A special comb for the toupee? It's special, all right - it's a telephone comb.
Next, we have these exploding cuff links.
Remove this pin, count to five and throw.
Click these heels together, and they become elevator shoes.
A bow tie with a hidden camera.
Great for surveillance.
- And last but not least - Wow! What a set of wheels! And wings and rudders.
You see, this car can also become a helicopter or a boat at the flick of a switch.
I call it the Thunderclutch Whirly Thingy.
Gee, G.
Something tells me I'm gonna like this spy business.
OK, OK, OK, there's just one piece of business left - a new name.
I was just getting used to "Lunchpail.
" From now on, you'll be known as Agent Double-0 Duck.
Double-0 Duck? Hey, I like the sound of that.
Don't forget this.
It's top-secret.
Make contact in Geneva, pretending you're Bruno.
But once you've learned of Nogood's whereabouts, call on your comb and we'll send in our DIA forces.
Good luck, Double-0 Duck.
Say, you wouldn't happen to have an extra Thunderclutch Whirly Thingy, would you? - Psst.
- Oh, greetings, fellow spy.
- Shh.
- Huh? Next contact - New Deli.
Code: Pastrami on rye, hold the mustard.
New Delhi.
Gotcha.
Where have you been? Did you get the response to your code? Only from a few Indian beggars who'd love a pastrami on rye.
- They chased me all over New Delhi.
- Not New Delhi, India! That New Deli! Nate 'n Yodel's New Swiss Delicatessen.
Whoops.
Heh-heh.
- Simple mistake.
- Wait.
The next contact's no longer there.
She's looking for you in New Delhi.
Look for Feathers.
Feathers? Am I back to looking for chickens again? Fill 'er up.
Feathers? Feathers! Feathers? Ladies, gentlemen and snake charmers, please give a real big hand to Miss Feathers Galore.
Wowza! What a chick! Pastrami on rye, hold the mustard? - 407.
- What's that? The next code? No, my room number.
Meet me upstairs in five minutes.
Come in, Bruno, darling.
- Hey, nice pad.
- As if you haven't been here before.
Shouldn't we take care of business first? Since when do you put business before pleasure, poopsy? Let's smoochy-smoochy.
But shouldn't you get this briefcase to Dr.
Nogood? I'll take it to him at the New Deli later.
Aah! - What's that? - Whoops.
I can explain.
It was a going-away present from Mom.
I thought your mother passed away She did.
It was a going-away-for-good present.
Anyway, takes a nice little snapshot for a bow tie, huh? Heh-heh.
Never mind the pictures.
Let's get back to smoochy-smooch.
Careful! Aah! Uh-oh.
I should've warned you.
I have killer dandruff.
- What was that? - What was what? - That! Sounded like a telephone.
- I don't hear a telephone.
- Could you excuse me for a minute? - Where are you going? To answer my comb I mean, to comb my hair.
- What do you want? - How's our spy doing? Terrible.
Why didn't you tell me Bruno was dating Feathers Galore? Details, details.
Hurry up and find Dr.
Nogood.
Time is of the essence.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to, uh, powder my beak.
- Hello, Dr.
Nogood? - Yes, Miss Galore? I have every reason to believe Bruno is a double agent.
That or an impostor.
- Is he behaving suspiciously? - Yes.
And his kisses aren't worth a pucker.
Well, I'm sure you know what to do.
Give him just one more kiss.
Of course.
The kiss of death.
With my poison lipstick.
Come here.
I want to kiss you.
I know you had your heart set on smoochy-smoochy, but I've gotta buzz.
You're not going anywhere.
Yah! Phew! Hiyah! I had no idea smoochy-smoochy meant this much to you.
Hiyah! Where's that darn helicopter switch? Come on, Thunderclutch! Don't fail me now.
Hey, watch it! It's your type who give women drivers a bad name.
Heh-heh-heh! Thought you had me that time, didn't you? Yipes! Lucky for me I can make this into a helicopter.
My only hope is to call for help! Duckburg Intelligence Agency.
Sorry, but all lines are busy.
If you wish to make a call, hang up and try again.
Aah! Aah-aah-aah! This is no time to poop out on me.
Abandon ship! Thank goodness I have my trusty parachute.
Heh-heh.
Make that an untrusty raft.
Aah! Help! There's got to be a connection between Nate 'n Yodel's Deli and Dr.
Nogood.
Oops.
What happened to that lady who just came in here? - Feathers, the one with the briefcase? - Yeah.
- Never seen her before.
- Hmm.
Here's your Swiss cheese, Fritz.
Where do you want it? - Your fresh-a bread-a.
It's-a here.
- I didn't order any bread.
- Salami? - No.
- Cappuccino royale? - The only thing I ordered was pickles.
Whoops.
Here's der pickles.
Heh-heh.
So fresh, Peter Piper just picked 'em.
Hey, what are you doing here? I'm the pickle man! Uh-oh.
Now I'm in a pickle.
Uh-oh.
Locked.
I better turn up the temperature before I turn into a pickle-sicle.
Hmm.
Something's fishy about this deli.
And I'm not talking red herring.
Wow.
An underground complex.
That Dr.
Nogood is up to no good.
Hey, do you smell pickles? Aha! Dr.
Nogood! - Duckburg Intelligence Agency.
- This is Double-0 Duck.
I found Dr.
Nogood's headquarters.
Send your troops to - Oops.
- Is that Oops Avenue or Oops Street? Soon the world's money supply will be ruined.
In a few hours, my troopers will break into Swiss banks from underground tunnels, spray their vaults of money with my ink vanisher that'll make all that money nothing but worthless blank paper.
I'll wreak havoc with the world's money supply.
My private stockpile of gold will make me the richest man in the world, and and Why do I have this sudden craving for pickles? - Grab him! - Why did you hang up, Double-0 Duck? Not now! I've been wondering when you'd show up.
A very good likeness of Bruno Von Beak, I must admit.
Who are you spying for? You can threaten me, you can torture me, but I'll never snitch on the DIA! The DIA, huh? What do you think of that, Flower? I agree.
Anyone who works for the DIA should meet my other pets.
Odduck? Hey, no need to push.
I like pets.
Oh, no.
As if the lions weren't enough.
Shut up, you fool.
It's because of you that I'm here.
- Me? What did I do? - You got away! Look, let's let bygones be bygones.
How about a few of your backflips to show those kittens who's boss? It's worth a try.
Hiyah! We've got to get out of here.
I'm too pretty to die.
Of course! My trick shoes.
Yah! Know any other tricks? I must be doing something wrong.
Maybe you forgot the magic words, Dorothy.
You you saved my life.
- Even Bruno never did that.
- Hey, I'm no heel.
Speaking of heels, nobody told me how to make these things go down.
There's no time to figure it out.
Run! It's no use! I'm getting nowhere slow.
Hiyah! Hiyah! Hello, DIA? I need help.
Please deposit 25 cents for the first three minutes.
Where? I'm talking on a pocket comb here.
Sorry.
Pocket combs are not considered approved operating equipment by your telephone company.
I'd like to reach out and strangle someone.
Wait a minute.
Why am I running? I'm not helpless.
Go ahead.
Make my toupee.
Is this what they mean by "bite the bullet"? I don't suppose that's a beehive bazooka? This is no time to fix your hair! - Here.
Call the DIA.
- But I thought you were working for FOWL.
They're trying to kill me! Besides, I'd rather work with you.
Please deposit 25 cents.
I can't! I'm talking on a speed-dialing styling brush! Oh, sure.
And I suppose I'm talking into a cordless toaster phone.
Cut the lip and have the DIA send help to Nate 'n Yodel's Deli, fast! You know your orders.
To the banks of Switzerland.
Destroy their money! Oh, it feels so good to be no good.
Heh-heh.
Hold it right there, Nogood.
This toupee has a hair trigger.
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but toupees will never hurt me.
Uh-oh.
You don't have any sticks and stones on you, do you? After him! My darling.
Are you all right? I will be, once you stop slapping me.
Aah! Yow! Ow! Ooh! Ah! Yow! Ooh-ooh-ah! Ooh! Hold it right there, or I'll throw this vanishing fluid on you.
Not so fast there, Dr.
Nogood.
This cufflink can blow you to smithereens.
You expect me to believe that after your little toupee trick? Would you believe my belt turns a cannon? Better luck to you next lifetime.
Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Now, that's what I call hitting him with my best snapshot.
- But, Lunchpail - Launchpad! Whatever.
We need you.
We wanna make you a full-time Double-0 Duck.
Sorry, Mr.
Hoover.
The spy business is too dangerous for me.
I'm going back to something safe, like working for Mr.
McD.
Take me with you, you big galoot.
You ruffle my feathers.
Sorry.
I am not that kind of guy.
I crash alone.
We both know your heart belongs to Bruno.
If that chopper leaves the ground, and you're not with him, you'll regret it - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Here's lookin' at you, Feathers.
Uh-oh.
Something tells me I should have filled up again in Istanbul.
Launchpad, you're a double-O dope!