The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e48 Episode Script

Rico, weapons check.
Kowalski, intelligence.
Substantially above average, but I don't like to brag.
Oh, the map.
Right here.
Private, snack cakes.
Swiss delight, vanilla cream and a peanut butter winkie.
All right, men, let's move in.
Private, dibs on the peanut butter winkie.
Easy does it, Ned.
This could well be a trap.
Rico.
Well played, Skipper.
It seems Dr.
Blowhole isn't as smart as he thinks he-- I don't think the peanut butter winkie made it, Skipper.
Curse you, Blowhole! Ah! Blowhole.
Well, pen-gu-ins, we meet once again.
Well, well, Blowhole, it's been a long time.
Well, well, well, too long.
Well, well, well, well-- Enough! I suppose you are wondering why it is that I have laid a ridiculously complicated trap for you.
Actually, yes, I am.
Why tell when I can show? You'll appreciate this, Kowalski.
I have installed a lair theatre system.
High-definition with surround sound.
Extremely spendy.
Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff? Hey-hey-hey, eyes on the big screen.
See? Delicious dipped in butter.
What's your point? Now imagine this crustacean had an exoskeleton of shiny metal! Pen-gu-ins, I present Chrome Claw.
Mm.
Did you feel that subwoofer? Ah, he's just rubbing my face in it.
Without you pen-gu-ins around to foil my plans, I will unleash Chrome Claw.
on an unsuspecting world.
With this mutant monster at my side, I will rule land and sea.
Whoa.
Um, back up to that "without you" part, please.
I get the gist.
Rico! Uh-oh.
We got us a laser show, boys.
Who's foiled now? Foiled? Private, snack cakes! Is this really the time to-- Private! Say what? Kowalski! Aspirate Swiss delight, bottlenose! You have seen the last of Dr.
Blowhole! Good.
Run.
Oh.
You think-- All right.
I mean, this is the last you will see of anything! Oh.
Self-destruct in-- Five seconds.
That's right, we had only five seconds, but we escaped with half a second to spare.
It was a ripping adventure.
Oh.
Oh, so a dolphin super villain? No, I totally believe you.
No, really, Marlene.
He's our arch enemy.
Pure evil! With skin that's surprisingly pleasant to the touch.
Look, I've got the mission file to prove it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hoo ha hoo ha ha! It's top secret, Private.
Eyes only.
My eyes.
Not even sure about your eyes, let alone her eyes.
Actually, Skipper, these files are declassified now.
Pinhead pencil pushers.
They have no idea.
Oh, they're-- They're nice.
Look, I know you guys do your commando thing around here and you do it, you know, well, but come on.
I mean, secret lairs? Your Chrome Claw? Super spy stuff? Please.
Did you say spy? Ha-ha! I'm a spy.
I've been spying on you this whole time.
I could have a fancy spy car that can shoot things out of the headlights.
No, fog lights.
They won't expect it.
You, Ringtail? Facing the likes of Dr.
Blowhole? He's pure evil.
With skin that's surprisingly pleasant to the touch.
You wouldn't last five minutes.
Oh dear.
We're open! My spirits say I can be a spy guy.
What? If this is a ploy to get to the royal fridge, it's very clever but ineffective.
What is that on you, anyway? You smell like the fish we eat.
Whoa, who the hecks are you? No! Hi, Vince.
Sorry, Skipper.
I'm not feeling very cute or cuddly today.
Oh, stop.
You're always cute and cuddly, and you know it.
I'm just cheesed that Marlene doesn't believe in Dr.
Blowhole.
Better that she doesn't, Private.
Imagine if she blabbed and that mad doctor discovered our secret zoo HQ.
Dr.
Blowhole, satellite targeting has a lock on the enemy, and they are subway convenient.
Excellent work, red one.
Prepare pen-gu-in transmission.
Pen-gu-ins, I have found you.
Blowhole! Where is he? Greetings, my flightless foes.
Oh, he's only on the TV.
Get off of our TV.
I have been spying on you, pen-gu-ins, for months with state-of-the-art lookie lou technology.
Always gets the good stuff! Yeah, he's fine.
Go on.
Uh, right.
Anyway, I have unmasked your Achilles heel, Skipper, your greatest vulnerability.
Aside from the flightlessness.
You fiend! You cut off the peanut butter winkie supply lines! What? No, but somebody write that down.
I have struck the cruellest blow of all.
I assure you, Skipper, your world will be rocked, life will be drained of meaning, for I have captured your best friend! Help! Ringtail? I have been "kingnapped" by ninja shellfish! This is outrageous! And a little embarrassing, quite frankly.
You think he's my best friend? Oh, Skipper, don't play coy with me.
My brain is bigger than your whole body.
Look at you two.
Obvious BFFs.
Kowalski, the code.
Buffalo fire fighter, no.
Baby fat flinger, no.
Ah! Best friends forever.
You're stark raving mad! Not you, Kowalski.
Him.
Uh, let's not be making him madder.
This time I will triumph.
Just try and stop me and your fuzzy little buddy sleeps with the fishes.
Well, technically fish don't sleep so much as rest.
You'd think a dolphin would know that.
Unless he means-- Ooh.
Can you believe that Blowhole? "Fuzzy little buddy.
" You and Julian do spend a good bit of time together.
Quality time.
Mm hmm.
Ringtail and I are not friends.
Case closed.
That's it, let's go rescue him.
What? It's the penguin way.
A penguin never leaves his fuzzy little buddy behind.
You'll find sarcasm is more effective if you don't giggle it out like a naughty schoolgirl, Private.
Right, sir.
One thing doesn't add up.
If Julian is missing, why hasn't anybody actually missed him? Whoa-ho, Skipper.
Why so jumpy? Mort? What? Why is he letting you touch his feet? It's not because he's a fake King Julian.
Though come to think of it, the King has been little a low maintenance.
Mort, is there something you haven't told me? Only that ninja lobsters tied me in kelp and replaced the real King Julian with this one that lets me touch his feet, why? Hmm, is that all? Glowing red eyes.
That's almost never good.
Hupt! My car! Yay-- Ow! Kowalski, run a trace.
Picking up salty sea air, roller coaster grease and all beef wiener.
With mustard.
Coney Island.
Subway convenient, at least.
No.
They'll be expecting that.
Commence butt wiggling now! Wiggle butt! Carbonation agitation reaching critical level.
And lift off.
Question: why are we laughing? Question: how did the prisoner escape? Prisoner escaped? Is he dangerous? No, and apparently he isn't very bright.
Oh, I know the type.
So, let's talk.
Ah-ah-ah! I can't see! Then I will be your eyes.
Turn left, turn right, then do a loopedy-loop! Get off me! Ah, see? We make an excellent team.
What? I am willing to overlook your fishiness.
A dolphin is not a fish.
I am all mammal, I assure you.
If you say so, fishy face.
No, really.
Why do you think I have this hole in my head? Uh Yeah, I was trying not to stare at that.
To breathe oxygen.
Mammal! Then you and I are much alike.
Oh, please.
Lobsters! Ow, you're poking me! Can't help it, Doc.
Yoo-hoo, my hands are all soft, and oh, look at that.
What is this? Thumbs.
Two of them.
They make my hands handy for picking things up.
Fine.
Ooh, your skin is surprisingly pleasant to the touch.
Always make time to moisturize.
So, I have a proposal for you.
Not the marriage kind of proposal, a different kind.
Hold that thought.
Ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah-ah.
I'm on top of it, Doc.
Oh, the splash zone! Good seats.
Come on, come on.
Boss man needs a treat.
Ow! Nice work.
Let's find Ringtail.
There he is.
Hello, slap-happy penguins! He doesn't look very captured, does he? Not even a little.
That would be a horrible way to treat my partner In crime.
The King! The King's feet! The King's feet must be saved! Mort, I'm telling you.
You've got to chill, man.
Penguins are on the case.
Pah! The King needs me.
Wee! Huh? I am so glad you could all be here to witness history.
I am, of course, especially pleased that my flightless foes graced us with their presence.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
There's nothing good on telly tonight anyway.
Well, Private, here's a little show I whipped up.
It's called Ring of Fire.
It is fitting that I have returned to the very aqua theatre where I performed tricks for the dullard humans.
Oh, how it made me bitter.
Sorry, did he say bitter or better? Hard to say.
The sound really bounces around in here.
Well, that would be the high ceilings.
My humiliation in the ring of fire became my inspiration.
In the frozen north, we have constructed a vast circle of absurdly pricey devices that tap into the heat of the Earth's core.
Oh, come on.
Do you mind! I'm just getting to the good part.
It's really quite a shocker.
So obvious.
Humiliated by the humans.
Activate the Ring of Fire.
Melt the Arctic.
Well, how did we do, punk? You're in the ballpark.
Whoa! And then the planet's water levels will rise and rise and then justice for everybody! No.
Then I will have my revenge because the humans will be jumping through hoops.
Oh.
Well, can I have a jet ski, then? You know, we're going to stop you.
You can try, but this time I have an army of crustacean warriors! Yeah, we can take them.
Oh, really, Skipper? Give us all you pen-gu-ins got.
So they cut down 10, 20 lobsters.
We've got more lobsters! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
How can the penguins do anything? They are thoroughly trapped.
Trust me, they never stay trapped.
Don't lose hope, boys.
Sometimes all it takes is one lucky serendipitous break.
Ah! The King's feet must be freed! Huh? I took the subway.
Mort, I am not even a prisoner.
Oh, and by the way, not a feet! Wee! Yow! Nice work, sad eyes.
See, see? This is what I'm talking about.
Lobsters, attack! Lobster pile! Hmm.
You have to understand, he's just such a freak.
No! Yay! Ring of Fire activated.
You fiend.
You know it.
Come, fellow evil mammal.
Join me and bask in our victory.
Oh, I do like basking.
This is Chuck Charles coming to you live from the Arctic circle where the mysterious and sinister towers have erupted from underground.
Yeah.
where they form a giant-- Sorry.
They form a giant circle around the North pole.
This can only be described as a hoop of heat.
Ring of Fire! I do not like this show.
Me neither.
Let's pull the plug.
Oh, Skipper, you have more urgent matters to deal with.
Like what? Like a certain mutation I like to call Chrome Claw.
Ah, so you did get around to making that monster.
Yes, and I'm rather pleased with how he turned out.
That would be extremely impressive if it weren't about to-- Ah! Put an end to this madness! I am victorious! I am suddenly moving backwards.
Hey, off! No need to panic.
I'm smarter than that egomaniac.
The big red button turned it on, therefore the big blue must-- Heat output increased to a ludicrous level.
Arctic meltdown will now be even faster.
Thank you, Kowalski.
The North Pole is surely doomed as this hoop of heat melts the ice and snow at an alarming rate.
Whoa! This is Chuck Charles and I cannot swim.
Help.
Ha! Green.
The green button will surely-- Heat output increased beyond all reason.
Wha--! Oof.
Eeh! Kowalski, status report! Mostly not good with hints of horrible.
You have failed, Skipper.
Bad news for nonswimmers.
Yoo-hoo, Blowy.
I'm a little busy.
Can't you see we're tussling? I just thought that you wanted to know that I am not going to side with evil.
I am a double agent! What? I am the good guys' spy! Ring of Fire shutdown in progress.
Oh, purple was my next guest.
No! Yay for King Julian! He is the best double agent ever! This is Chuck Charles reporting that the planet, and more importantly I, have survived this disaster.
You have foiled my plan for revenge, but for that I will get revenge! Wait, are we talking a new revenge here? Revenge against the humans, revenge against you.
Yes, I've got a whole bunch of revenges all piling up and it's not pretty.
If you ask me, the not pretty part was the bad guy running away like a scaredy baby.
He was no match for me: double agent spy guy.
You're kidding, right? No, Marlene.
You are wrong again.
Shut it.
I helped.
Uh, Julian the double agent saves the world? Come on.
Uh, so I faced danger and the adventure of a lifetime and nobody would ever know about it? Welcome to my world.
That makes you an honorary penguin.
Does that mean I am your BFF? Uh, we'll keep that code on QT.
King Julian is a buffalo fire fighter!