Ducktales (1987) s01e50 Episode Script

Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck-blur Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history - DuckTales - Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales - D-d-d-danger! - Watch behind you - There's a stranger - Out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales Ooh-ooh Not ponytails or cottontails - No, DuckTales - Ooh-ooh Aha! I've got one in my sights, Brigadier Broccoli.
And boy, does it look weird.
Well, don't just insult it, Lieutenant Garlic.
Fire at it.
With relish, sir.
It looks strong enough to me, Lieutenant Garlic.
Mm, smells nice and fresh, too.
Wish I could say the same about you.
Put it to work, Sergeant Squash, and we'll see just how strong it is.
Aye, aye, brigadier.
Squish, squash.
Squish, squash.
Now, there's only one planet left from which to extract captives.
The planet Earth.
Oh, that's very good, boys.
You scared the starch right out of my socks.
If you like that, you're gonna love the Creepshow Marathon.
Five scary movies for the price of one.
Including The Attack of the Vampire Butler.
Blech! Would ya take us, Duckworth? Would ya? prepare his favorite dinner for five dollars or less and extract the large wad of bubble gum from the tip of his cane.
Ah, what bliss.
Sorry.
Aw! Aw, come on, Duckworth, live a little.
Aren't you tired of being Uncle Scrooge's slave? Wha? Slave? With all the things that you can do, you could be as rich as Uncle Scrooge.
If you really wanted to.
Really, boys, I am content.
To me, money just isn't that important.
Money not important? Why, Duckworth, you've gone off the deep end of your scrub bucket.
Uh, I beg your pardon, sir.
How can you say money's not important? Very truthfully, sir.
- Maybe the boys are right.
- But Maybe you could've made your own fortune.
But Maybe I have been standing in your way.
But, but No more buts.
And no more butlering for you, Duckworth.
You're fired! But, but And don't come back until you've discovered the joy, the enchantment, the sheer ecstasy of making big buts.
I mean, big bucks.
We're gonna miss you, Duckworth.
But at least you won't be Uncle Scrooge's slave anymore.
I loved serving Mr.
McDuck.
Alas, now I must go into the world and make big bucks.
But I fear that will never bring the deep satisfaction I had scrubbing floors and dumping the garbage.
Gee, Duckworth really does need to get Whoa! Whoa! Somebody up there really listens to me! W-what's happening, Duckworth? Why, I do believe we're being pulled into that spacecraft up there.
And I do believe I'm going to miss my bus.
These are the strangest-looking aliens yet.
Look who's talkin'.
Who are you guys? What are you doing here? And what are we doin' here with ya? That's for us to know and you to find out.
Yuck! Talk about close encounters of the weird kind.
According to my research, that is the uniform of an earthling servant.
Aha.
Then he should be perfect for our needs.
Sergeant Squash, show our guest the garden.
No, no, no.
This is a much faster way to kill weeds.
This puts our flower garden to shame.
I hope that means you like it, 'cause you sprouts will be here the rest of your lives.
Now get to work.
- Work? - Why should we? Squish, squash.
Squish, squash.
J-just do what the squash says, boys.
But whoa! Are you gonna let them get away with this, Duckworth? I'm afraid we haven't any choice, boys.
That's the spirit.
You're gonna make one terrific slave.
All right, you aliens.
"Lettuce" show you to your cell for the night.
I say! No way are you puttin' those things on our legs! - We're Junior Woodchucks! - We have rights! Saucy little peppers, aren't ya? Well, I'll squash you flatter than a cucumber pancake! That's what you think, pumpkin head! Such language! Huey, Louie, Dewey.
Stop running right this minute.
- Don't make trouble.
- But Duckworth! These oughta slow you little pea pods down.
Now, good night.
Sleep tight.
And you'll work your beaks off as soon as it's light.
I wish everyone was as cowardly as you.
I-I hope I'm just imagining this, but it's beginning to seem like Duckworth is a a - Go ahead and say it.
- A yellow-bellied chicken! - Yeah.
- Yeah! Ach, I guess he really does like being a slave.
I-I wonder how long we'll have to stay in this awful place.
- Forever.
- Just give up.
There's no hope.
Gee, sorry I asked.
Hm.
Hm.
Mm-hm-hm-hmm.
- I say, what is that? - That's my nose.
No, not that.
That! Oh.
That's the main control room for the garden.
But forget it.
It's locked from the inside.
Hm.
Oh, jolly smart of them.
But not smart enough.
Ahem.
My friends.
I suggest we rebel.
You? Rebel? That's the best joke I've heard this light year! It's no joke, my fellow creatures.
No one has the right to make another do their work for them.
Where do you get off telling anybody anything about doing someone else's work? I was told you were a slave on your own planet.
I was never a slave.
I worked as a servant, but nobody forced me to be one.
It was my choice, and I was proud of the work I did.
You prisoners have no choice, and that makes you slaves.
You should have the right to say "no.
" - But they have weapons.
- We wouldn't stand a chance.
They'd vegetate us.
I'm sorry, my friend.
- We'll rebel with ya, Duckworth.
- Yeah! Why, thank you, boys.
Uh, we we thought you were a yellow-bellied chicken, Duckworth.
And we're sorry.
Oh, but I'm glad you did, boys.
I wanted our captors to think I was a, ahem, "yellow-bellied chicken" so they'd never suspect me of masterminding this daring escape plan.
Quackaroonie! Ahem, that squash fellow wants you to check out an annoying little leak in the water system over there.
There's Duckworth's signal.
Woodchucks away! What's that? - He heard us.
- Push.
Push! I'm pushing, I'm pushing.
We did it! We did it! Open that door, boys.
Or I send the old coward into orbit without a ship.
What should we do? Let's follow Launchpad's golden rule: "When in doubt, push a bunch of buttons.
" Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Ugh, yeow! Ugh, ugh Ooh! Yeow! Squish, squash.
Squish, squash.
Ahhh Excellent, boys.
I'll reward you with milk and cookies as soon as we get home.
You're never going home.
Guards, destroy him.
What is going on here? That, sir, is our question.
What is going on here? How dare you question me? Don't you know I could turn you into plant food just like that? Ooh We'd like that.
Yam, yam.
And are you aware that those lads could destroy every plant in this spaceship with the push of a few buttons? How do you like your vegetables, brigadier? Boiled or frozen? I kinda feel like pushing red buttons today.
How about you guys? Not that big red one! Uh, why don't we go to my quarters and have a chat over some nice, hot onion tea? Stand your ground, boys.
I'll return right after teatime.
Please be seated.
I'll stand, if you don't mind.
Let me explain what is going on here.
This was the planet Vegedonia.
It was a perfect plant-life paradise.
Then our sun began to dim.
Our planet began to freeze.
And so did we.
Our only hope was to take the plants that had survived, including our children, and search for a new home.
With most of our work force destroyed, we were forced to, uh, borrow workers from other planets.
But that's slavery, sir.
And we will fight you, no matter what the cost.
Quackaroonie! Duckworth's been gone long enough to drink a whole gallon of onion tea.
Yuck! I say we save him, just in case he needs saving.
Woodchucks to the rescue.
And I mean, rescue! - Boom, boom, boom, boom.
- Gassy beats.
Whoa! How'd you know how to drive this thing, Dewey? Me? I thought Louie was drivin' it.
Are you kiddin'? I was just hanging on to these handles so I wouldn't fall out.
Well, whatever you're doing, keep doing it, 'cause we got company.
Do we squish 'em or to squash 'em? That is the question.
Quackaroonie, they're too close for comfort.
Faster, you big gourd.
Faster.
Look out, we're heading straight for Broccoli Headquarters! Watch out, you're going too He's out cold.
How'd he get in here? They've kidnapped the brigadier.
Good, now we can take over.
And I'll go, "Squish, squash.
Squish, squa" I know, I know.
Dead end! You mean the end for all of you.
We're trapped between a garlic, a squash and a brick wall.
There's a first time for everything.
Quick, look.
The tractor dome.
Squish, squash.
Squish, squash.
They're gonna break through.
But not before I break through.
Fellow captives, we are trapped.
And without your help, I fear we will die.
If you don't fight for your freedom, your children and your children's children will never be free.
Now is the time to end your slavery, to tell your captors: "We're quite perturbed and we're not going to allow this any longer.
" I think he means, "We're really mad and we're not gonna take this anymore.
" Yeah! Put up your roots, you rejects from a salad bar.
We're really mad and we're not gonna take this anymore.
Hooray! Wha? Aah, ooh! En garde.
Now that worked out just fine.
Guys, I think it's time for an early harvest.
You'll never outwit me, you big coward.
You're right.
You can't be outwitted when you have no wits to begin with.
By Jove, we've taken over the ship.
Hail to Duckworth, Huey, Dewey and Louie.
They may have funny faces, but thanks to them we're free.
Yay! Aw, I can't wait to get back down to Duckburg.
But there's really no rush! Whoa! I thought your people were flying this ship.
OK, so I forgot one little detail.
And I thought elephants never forgot.
- What's an elephant? - Forget it.
Whoa! Oh, dear.
We're heading straight for that gourdy green planet there.
Let me take the controls, if it's not too late.
Don't trust him, Mr.
Duckworth.
There comes a time when one must choose between trusting one's enemy or colliding with a gourdy green planet.
I have selected choice number one.
I c-can't pull out of this dive.
We're gonna be coleslaw.
Don't listen to him and keep pulling.
Ugh, ha-ha-ha.
It's starting to pull up.
- Hang on! - We're gonna crash.
And we're not even with Launchpad.
Quackaroonie, Duckworth.
We never knew you could fly a speeding spaceship.
Ahem.
It's a lot like driving your uncle to the bank.
Why, it's warm here.
And the air is fresh and pure.
I think my people have finally found a home.
If you aliens can find it in your hearts to give us back our freedom.
You could have made them your slaves, you know.
Yes, but then we'd be no better than they were.
Yeah, and that's pretty bad.
Yoo-hoo, Duckworth.
Your bus bench is right over there.
Ah.
The bus company will be delighted to see it again.
The only way I can truly thank you for freeing us is by continuing your fight for the freedom of all creatures everywhere.
Good show, brigadier.
Good show, good show.
Bon voyage, noble servants.
We shall never forget you.
Hey.
Isn't that Uncle Scrooge's limo? Yeah, but his new driver could use a few driving lessons.
Duckworth, maybe I was a wee bit, heh-heh-heh, hasty.
Would you consider putting off being fired until some later date? Like never? Sir, I'd be delighted to.
All those in favor say "yay.
" Yay! The yays have it.
Yay.