Justice League Action (2016) s01e50 Episode Script
Keeping Up with the Kryptonians
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) TV ANNOUNCER: The Daily Planet News Parade.
All the day's headlines brought to you in luxurious sepia tone! The March of War! The Kasnian Peoples Republic continues its invasion of the West, thanks to their new weapon, the Superman.
No one but Kasnia knows where he's from or how he can possess such strength and terrible might.
Does anyone have the power to stop him? Or will more cities fall to the conquering red menace? And in entertainment, Kara Zor-El continues to conquer our hearts.
The last survivor of Krypton and star of TV's most-watched reality show can melt steel with a glance.
But can she ever find true love? (REPORTERS CLAMORING) TV ANNOUNCER: Hey, now, wait just a second.
If these super folks join forces and use their powers in league for the cause of justice (LAUGHS) Uh, but of course that's not the world we live in.
Until tomorrow, this has been the Daily Planet News Parade.
Stay tuned for a brand new That's so Kara.
People don't appreciate just how much I bust my butt.
It's not easy to produce a network show, market a skin care line, update my chat every five minutes, and look supes amazing.
Still, I feel like I could do more For people.
Maybe.
Whatevs, right? My hair okay? REPORTER 1: Over here, Kara.
MAN: Kara, over here.
- WOMAN: Kara, what are you wearing? - (REPORTERS CLAMORING) - WOMAN: Supergirl? Help me.
Supergirl? That sounds so familiar.
Out of my way! High-powered agent coming through.
Kara, doll, what's the hold-up? Your public awaits.
I feel like I need to Help.
Help? What does help get you? Nothing! What does it get me? 20% of nothing.
Help, shmelp! You're right, Morty.
I'm not gonna let anything spoil this.
It all belongs to me.
(ALL SCREAMING) This all belong to Kasnia.
What was that? (LAUGHS) The competition.
He ruined my premiere.
Win some, lose some.
It's not like you can do something.
Let's go! Oh, I can do something.
I can teach that Kasnian creep to stay out of my spotlight.
Ha! That's my girl! Go give Comrade Buzzkill the old one-two.
I'm right behind you.
(GROWLS) (GRUNTS) (BOTH GRUNTING) Yikes! (GRUNTING CONTINUES) Ow! Watch it! Oops! Oh, sorry, little buddy.
I'm Booster Gold, time traveler.
Who cares? (LAUGHS) I like you.
Well, stop it.
So, I was just outside the space-time continuum in my Booster cave It's not really a cave, I just call it that 'cause of the smell.
I wasn't gone that long but now Superman and Supergirl are dressed all weird and fighting each other.
You don't say.
I do say! Normally, when this kind of thing happens it's because I went back in time and swallowed a butterfly.
But this time, I knows it wasn't me.
How? Because I switched to caterpillars.
Anyways, the point is, I didn't cause this.
Hey, that's not your car, is it? (SUPERMAN GRUNTS) Hey! Knock it off, you guys! Why are you fighting each other? (PHONE RINGING) Also, why is my phone telling me that Justice League is now a semi-pro bowling team out of Fresno? (GRUNTING) Superman, what are you doing? That's Supergirl! Your cousin who hasn't gone out with me yet.
Strong lady is cousin? Yes, from Krypton.
By way of Kansas.
Is this not ringing a bell for you? Kansas? (MOOING) We've got to get close enough to reverse the current.
Follow my lead, cuz.
Right behind you.
(SIGHS) Is it just me, or are the twisters around here are getting stronger? (MOOING) Maybe you're just slowing down in your old age.
You know, technically, you're the older cousin.
(SNIFFS) Hang on.
(SNIFFS) Blueberry pie? Ma Kent's blueberry pie.
Best in the universe.
You wanna Oh, it's on.
(MOOING) A quick stop at Henderson's dairy and I will be right there.
(BURPING LOUDLY) Pardon me.
Mmm.
So many calories.
But so worth it.
You ever think about, how different life would be if we weren't raised in Smallville? You know, I think that no matter where they grow up, deep down, everyone has a little Smallville in them.
- Super corny, but, I'll second that.
- (MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, turn it up.
I love this one.
- Turn what up? - The TV.
Ma doesn't have a TV in the house, let alone on the porch.
What? What are you Fine.
I'll do it.
MAN: There is a fifth dimension beyond what is known to you backwards hicks.
It's a world between day and night.
Between light and You call that light? MAN: Nestled between the truth and what I think is generally more fun.
It's an area which we call The MXY Zone.
- Is that - Mr.
Mxyzptlk.
You've got to be kidding me.
Submitted for your annoyance.
Nature versus nurture.
Two Smallville goodie-goodies who think their lives would be the same no matter how or where they grew up.
That's great, Mxy.
- Now, why don't we - Pipe down, Super Stooge! But what if a simple twist of fate sent one cousin not to peace-loving Kansas, but across the ocean to I don't know! War time Kasnia! (SNAPS FINGERS) Uh-oh.
And sent the other to (LAUGHS) Let's see.
A more shallow pool.
Mxy, I swear I will make you say your name backwards so Ha! This I gotta see! So, strong lady is cousin and this is all just annoying imp trick? That's absurd! (GRUNTS) SUPERGIRL: My agent is right.
It's total science fiction.
No, it actually Wait, agent? You! Never told me you were an agent.
So considering it's named after you and all, you think I can get a spot on that Mxy Zone show? That thing sounds terrif.
Golden Oaf is right.
Agent is Mxyzptlk.
- A what? - This is my agent Morty.
He made me the person I am today.
Exactly.
It is imp in disguise who made us this way.
Even this simple clown could see through.
Oh, clown? Where? Fine! You outsmarted me this time, Booster Gold.
But I promise you it will not happen again! Sorry, what? I was still looking for the clown.
(SNAPS FINGERS) What has imp done? What are we doing? What he made us do.
How could you? He was only trying to help.
You're better off without him.
Trust me.
Now! Let's reset this reality and get you two self-righteous bumpkins back at each other's throats.
Huh! Foolish imp.
It is just like we say in my country.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) Kltpzyxm.
I know (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) But what the heck does Kltpzyxm Oh, no.
Um, what just happened? I make him say his own name backwards.
I remember, this is how we vanish annoying imp and set things back to normal.
(RUMBLING) Good bye, Golden Oaf.
And thank you.
Do you Remember? Everything.
Look, I want you to know that even though we weren't ourselves I know that I would never, I Well, I never could have, um I love you too.
Um What about me? I took a giant steel globe to the head for you guys.
I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking.
Did you eat our pie? Would you look at that? I'm getting an urgent time call.
So weird.
I gotta go.
Bye.
You ever think about how different life would be if we weren't born on Krypton? Nope!
All the day's headlines brought to you in luxurious sepia tone! The March of War! The Kasnian Peoples Republic continues its invasion of the West, thanks to their new weapon, the Superman.
No one but Kasnia knows where he's from or how he can possess such strength and terrible might.
Does anyone have the power to stop him? Or will more cities fall to the conquering red menace? And in entertainment, Kara Zor-El continues to conquer our hearts.
The last survivor of Krypton and star of TV's most-watched reality show can melt steel with a glance.
But can she ever find true love? (REPORTERS CLAMORING) TV ANNOUNCER: Hey, now, wait just a second.
If these super folks join forces and use their powers in league for the cause of justice (LAUGHS) Uh, but of course that's not the world we live in.
Until tomorrow, this has been the Daily Planet News Parade.
Stay tuned for a brand new That's so Kara.
People don't appreciate just how much I bust my butt.
It's not easy to produce a network show, market a skin care line, update my chat every five minutes, and look supes amazing.
Still, I feel like I could do more For people.
Maybe.
Whatevs, right? My hair okay? REPORTER 1: Over here, Kara.
MAN: Kara, over here.
- WOMAN: Kara, what are you wearing? - (REPORTERS CLAMORING) - WOMAN: Supergirl? Help me.
Supergirl? That sounds so familiar.
Out of my way! High-powered agent coming through.
Kara, doll, what's the hold-up? Your public awaits.
I feel like I need to Help.
Help? What does help get you? Nothing! What does it get me? 20% of nothing.
Help, shmelp! You're right, Morty.
I'm not gonna let anything spoil this.
It all belongs to me.
(ALL SCREAMING) This all belong to Kasnia.
What was that? (LAUGHS) The competition.
He ruined my premiere.
Win some, lose some.
It's not like you can do something.
Let's go! Oh, I can do something.
I can teach that Kasnian creep to stay out of my spotlight.
Ha! That's my girl! Go give Comrade Buzzkill the old one-two.
I'm right behind you.
(GROWLS) (GRUNTS) (BOTH GRUNTING) Yikes! (GRUNTING CONTINUES) Ow! Watch it! Oops! Oh, sorry, little buddy.
I'm Booster Gold, time traveler.
Who cares? (LAUGHS) I like you.
Well, stop it.
So, I was just outside the space-time continuum in my Booster cave It's not really a cave, I just call it that 'cause of the smell.
I wasn't gone that long but now Superman and Supergirl are dressed all weird and fighting each other.
You don't say.
I do say! Normally, when this kind of thing happens it's because I went back in time and swallowed a butterfly.
But this time, I knows it wasn't me.
How? Because I switched to caterpillars.
Anyways, the point is, I didn't cause this.
Hey, that's not your car, is it? (SUPERMAN GRUNTS) Hey! Knock it off, you guys! Why are you fighting each other? (PHONE RINGING) Also, why is my phone telling me that Justice League is now a semi-pro bowling team out of Fresno? (GRUNTING) Superman, what are you doing? That's Supergirl! Your cousin who hasn't gone out with me yet.
Strong lady is cousin? Yes, from Krypton.
By way of Kansas.
Is this not ringing a bell for you? Kansas? (MOOING) We've got to get close enough to reverse the current.
Follow my lead, cuz.
Right behind you.
(SIGHS) Is it just me, or are the twisters around here are getting stronger? (MOOING) Maybe you're just slowing down in your old age.
You know, technically, you're the older cousin.
(SNIFFS) Hang on.
(SNIFFS) Blueberry pie? Ma Kent's blueberry pie.
Best in the universe.
You wanna Oh, it's on.
(MOOING) A quick stop at Henderson's dairy and I will be right there.
(BURPING LOUDLY) Pardon me.
Mmm.
So many calories.
But so worth it.
You ever think about, how different life would be if we weren't raised in Smallville? You know, I think that no matter where they grow up, deep down, everyone has a little Smallville in them.
- Super corny, but, I'll second that.
- (MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, turn it up.
I love this one.
- Turn what up? - The TV.
Ma doesn't have a TV in the house, let alone on the porch.
What? What are you Fine.
I'll do it.
MAN: There is a fifth dimension beyond what is known to you backwards hicks.
It's a world between day and night.
Between light and You call that light? MAN: Nestled between the truth and what I think is generally more fun.
It's an area which we call The MXY Zone.
- Is that - Mr.
Mxyzptlk.
You've got to be kidding me.
Submitted for your annoyance.
Nature versus nurture.
Two Smallville goodie-goodies who think their lives would be the same no matter how or where they grew up.
That's great, Mxy.
- Now, why don't we - Pipe down, Super Stooge! But what if a simple twist of fate sent one cousin not to peace-loving Kansas, but across the ocean to I don't know! War time Kasnia! (SNAPS FINGERS) Uh-oh.
And sent the other to (LAUGHS) Let's see.
A more shallow pool.
Mxy, I swear I will make you say your name backwards so Ha! This I gotta see! So, strong lady is cousin and this is all just annoying imp trick? That's absurd! (GRUNTS) SUPERGIRL: My agent is right.
It's total science fiction.
No, it actually Wait, agent? You! Never told me you were an agent.
So considering it's named after you and all, you think I can get a spot on that Mxy Zone show? That thing sounds terrif.
Golden Oaf is right.
Agent is Mxyzptlk.
- A what? - This is my agent Morty.
He made me the person I am today.
Exactly.
It is imp in disguise who made us this way.
Even this simple clown could see through.
Oh, clown? Where? Fine! You outsmarted me this time, Booster Gold.
But I promise you it will not happen again! Sorry, what? I was still looking for the clown.
(SNAPS FINGERS) What has imp done? What are we doing? What he made us do.
How could you? He was only trying to help.
You're better off without him.
Trust me.
Now! Let's reset this reality and get you two self-righteous bumpkins back at each other's throats.
Huh! Foolish imp.
It is just like we say in my country.
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) Kltpzyxm.
I know (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE) But what the heck does Kltpzyxm Oh, no.
Um, what just happened? I make him say his own name backwards.
I remember, this is how we vanish annoying imp and set things back to normal.
(RUMBLING) Good bye, Golden Oaf.
And thank you.
Do you Remember? Everything.
Look, I want you to know that even though we weren't ourselves I know that I would never, I Well, I never could have, um I love you too.
Um What about me? I took a giant steel globe to the head for you guys.
I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking.
Did you eat our pie? Would you look at that? I'm getting an urgent time call.
So weird.
I gotta go.
Bye.
You ever think about how different life would be if we weren't born on Krypton? Nope!