Clarence US (2014) s01e51 Episode Script
Spooky Boo
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Welcome to Clarence the Gruesome's house of frights and screams and fears and stuff.
Enter at your own risk.
Ha ha, mortals.
Here we are, in a dimension in, uh Jeff, hit the music.
Oh, yeah.
a dimension unlike any dimension you ever heard of and all sorts of danger at every turn.
Raaaah! Don't look so terrified.
You're safe here with Clarence the Gruesome, or are you? Perhaps I could interest you in some gross snacks, - such as eyeball-flavored grapes.
- Ugh, my spider hands! Or how about some spaghetti brains? - I lost my head! - Okay, Jeff's head.
Hey, stop that! So, it seems you survived, mortals.
Or did you? They were so young.
Ooooh! Well, Clarence, that was kind of lame.
What? Nuh-uh.
You're so scared.
- I saw you trembling.
- No, I wasn't.
Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Mavis seems to think it's scary.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Yeah, what do you got? Your spider costume isn't so scary.
Shut up, Sumo, or I'll fart on you.
Anyways, do you guys want to go trick-or-treating? Trick-or-treating? Trick or treating? Well, look at you.
Are you supposed to be Miss Piggy? Uh, yes.
Uh, can I use your bathroom? - Um - Thank you.
You're the best! No, I'm too old for trick-or-treats this year.
Hey, Chelsea.
Mom says you got to wear this tonight.
How come you're not wearing one? I'm working the Spookapalooza at the community center tonight.
Yeah, no babies allowed.
Nerd! Oh, we'll see about that! Change of plans, Mavis.
We're crashing Glary's haunted house.
- You guys coming? - And so, most fear is simply our minds creating an answer for the unknown.
The boogeyman, werewolves, chupacabra I can't wait to try all this stuff on older kids.
I bet they'll be so scared and never tell a soul.
- You think there will be candy? - For their sake, I hope so.
Whoa, check it out! It's that old house on Haugiss Hill.
I hear it used to be an orphanarium until it burned down.
Now there's just a giant, evil, dark cloud of spirits - lurking up there.
- What a load of crud.
I heard there's a rat man up there.
Extreme radiation mutated him up, - mutated him up real good.
- Guys, please.
What goes on in there is far more scary 'cause its real.
Yeah? What is it? It's a cult group that follows their own rules.
How is that scarier than a rat man? They grow their own vegetables! All you guys are just being big babies.
I'm not scared of that silly stuff, for I am the one who scares.
Hey, guys, wait up! Yeah, it's pretty cool.
I wasn't sure if I was gonna come.
- It's better than last year.
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
Teenagers.
- Come on, let's go.
- Age, dude.
- I'm Glary's sister! - Back off, man! - Fine.
- Candy! - Yeah, right, middle schooler.
- Hey, what's in the bag? - Oh, you'll see.
Can you guess what I'm dressed up as? What? This place isn't even scary.
- Ooooh! - Oh, I know what you need.
Here put a little bit of guts on top.
Oh! What the oh, no, it's spaghetti.
Don't worry, Mavis.
This is all Let's see what we got in here.
Oh! Foolish mortals, you've fallen into my trap.
Now you will be a meal for my hungry minions.
Feast, my children! Does that thing shed, or is it like real cat hair? - That's crazy.
I - Glary, there's some little kid messing stuff up.
What?! Ugh! All right, come watch me throw this kid out.
Yo, Glary! Real spooky haunted house you got there.
You are so dead! I-I'm gonna tell mom! Wait.
I meant to say, uh That's it! You little babies! Oh, hey, girls, what's up? You guys looking for a party? Ah, ah - I think we lost them.
- Where's Mavis? Whoa.
Casa de rat man.
- Well, let's go get her.
- Clarence, sometimes a man's got to ask the tough questions.
- For example, how important is Mavis? - Come on, big weenie! Don't worry, Mavis.
We're coming to get you.
Wait! Aw, come on! Homegrown vegetables! Guys, wait for me! We really shouldn't be here.
Two words, guys baby ghosts.
Come on, guys.
We can't let a haunted old house full of baby ghosts or a rat guy or pumpkin people keep us from saving Mavis.
Cake! It's a party house! No, Clarence! It's probably a trap! Ha! Who would do that? This place isn't even scary.
Sounds like she's over there.
That's where I smell the rat man.
Guys, she's obviously in the opposite direction.
You're right.
Everyone's right.
So, this is the plan.
Sumo and Chelsea, you got the room with no lights.
Got it! And, Jeff, you can go where you wanted to go.
And I-I'll go upstairs, search for more traps.
Clarence, wait! Can I go with you? No, Jeff, we already decided.
Smelly room for you.
Trap number two, what's under you? Huh? Mavis? Hmm.
Rat man, rat man, come out, come out, rat man.
Oh, come on, Sumo.
It's definitely baby spirits.
That's what's so scary about this place? Little baby ghosts? Still not as stupid as your theory.
Oh! A rat! Rat man, I'm coming for you! Sumo! Wait! - What? You scared? - No way! Well, then, ladies first.
Mavis? Mavis? Mavis, what are you doing? I'm turning off this stupid cult music.
Ugh! That must be the head cult man and his evil cult chorus.
Mavis! Run! Mavis, what are you doing? No Mavis, do don't do that.
Mavis, I'm going to gently remove the unh-uh.
Come on.
Give me the spoon! You guys, I found more cake traps.
Sumo? Mavis, is that you? Hello? What the? Mavis! Don't worry.
We'll find a way to change you back.
And then we'll find the evil witch who did this to you and turn her into a pumpkin.
Hmm.
No rat man here.
Rat man! Face me! Let's fight! Or we can wrestle! I'm ready for you, rat man! What was that? Stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Mavis, no, not that way.
Mavis! Oh! Ohh! No, no, no, no.
No.
Not spooky boo.
No, no, no.
I'm the scarer.
I am the scarer.
I am the scarer! - Hey, hey, hey! - I am the scarer! - I am the scarer.
- Ow! - Hey, what's going on in here? - Wh-What? Oh! - I'm sorry.
- Oh, Howard.
You got me.
Howard, you old cad! - Can we watch TV now? - No.
The party ended an hour ago.
- You should all be in bed.
- Come on, it's halloween.
Live it up a little, Suzy.
So, it was you making those spooky boo noises? Oh, yeah.
That was me.
I used to be a sound-effects guy in the '60s.
Can you also do the spooky boo noise, though? Ooooh-hooo.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's more like this Ooh-ooh-ooh! Uh, no.
Oooooh! Wow, Clarence.
You beat up a grown-up adult.
- Impressive.
- Yeah, he sure did.
This guy here's got a real winning punch.
And you'll all be pleased to know the vegetables aren't for human consumption, but to make biodiesel for the old people's mini-bus.
That probably means there's no rat man in the basement after all.
Oh, no, children.
The rat man is quite real.
Enter at your own risk.
Ha ha, mortals.
Here we are, in a dimension in, uh Jeff, hit the music.
Oh, yeah.
a dimension unlike any dimension you ever heard of and all sorts of danger at every turn.
Raaaah! Don't look so terrified.
You're safe here with Clarence the Gruesome, or are you? Perhaps I could interest you in some gross snacks, - such as eyeball-flavored grapes.
- Ugh, my spider hands! Or how about some spaghetti brains? - I lost my head! - Okay, Jeff's head.
Hey, stop that! So, it seems you survived, mortals.
Or did you? They were so young.
Ooooh! Well, Clarence, that was kind of lame.
What? Nuh-uh.
You're so scared.
- I saw you trembling.
- No, I wasn't.
Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Mavis seems to think it's scary.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Yeah, what do you got? Your spider costume isn't so scary.
Shut up, Sumo, or I'll fart on you.
Anyways, do you guys want to go trick-or-treating? Trick-or-treating? Trick or treating? Well, look at you.
Are you supposed to be Miss Piggy? Uh, yes.
Uh, can I use your bathroom? - Um - Thank you.
You're the best! No, I'm too old for trick-or-treats this year.
Hey, Chelsea.
Mom says you got to wear this tonight.
How come you're not wearing one? I'm working the Spookapalooza at the community center tonight.
Yeah, no babies allowed.
Nerd! Oh, we'll see about that! Change of plans, Mavis.
We're crashing Glary's haunted house.
- You guys coming? - And so, most fear is simply our minds creating an answer for the unknown.
The boogeyman, werewolves, chupacabra I can't wait to try all this stuff on older kids.
I bet they'll be so scared and never tell a soul.
- You think there will be candy? - For their sake, I hope so.
Whoa, check it out! It's that old house on Haugiss Hill.
I hear it used to be an orphanarium until it burned down.
Now there's just a giant, evil, dark cloud of spirits - lurking up there.
- What a load of crud.
I heard there's a rat man up there.
Extreme radiation mutated him up, - mutated him up real good.
- Guys, please.
What goes on in there is far more scary 'cause its real.
Yeah? What is it? It's a cult group that follows their own rules.
How is that scarier than a rat man? They grow their own vegetables! All you guys are just being big babies.
I'm not scared of that silly stuff, for I am the one who scares.
Hey, guys, wait up! Yeah, it's pretty cool.
I wasn't sure if I was gonna come.
- It's better than last year.
- Yeah.
- Oh, no.
Teenagers.
- Come on, let's go.
- Age, dude.
- I'm Glary's sister! - Back off, man! - Fine.
- Candy! - Yeah, right, middle schooler.
- Hey, what's in the bag? - Oh, you'll see.
Can you guess what I'm dressed up as? What? This place isn't even scary.
- Ooooh! - Oh, I know what you need.
Here put a little bit of guts on top.
Oh! What the oh, no, it's spaghetti.
Don't worry, Mavis.
This is all Let's see what we got in here.
Oh! Foolish mortals, you've fallen into my trap.
Now you will be a meal for my hungry minions.
Feast, my children! Does that thing shed, or is it like real cat hair? - That's crazy.
I - Glary, there's some little kid messing stuff up.
What?! Ugh! All right, come watch me throw this kid out.
Yo, Glary! Real spooky haunted house you got there.
You are so dead! I-I'm gonna tell mom! Wait.
I meant to say, uh That's it! You little babies! Oh, hey, girls, what's up? You guys looking for a party? Ah, ah - I think we lost them.
- Where's Mavis? Whoa.
Casa de rat man.
- Well, let's go get her.
- Clarence, sometimes a man's got to ask the tough questions.
- For example, how important is Mavis? - Come on, big weenie! Don't worry, Mavis.
We're coming to get you.
Wait! Aw, come on! Homegrown vegetables! Guys, wait for me! We really shouldn't be here.
Two words, guys baby ghosts.
Come on, guys.
We can't let a haunted old house full of baby ghosts or a rat guy or pumpkin people keep us from saving Mavis.
Cake! It's a party house! No, Clarence! It's probably a trap! Ha! Who would do that? This place isn't even scary.
Sounds like she's over there.
That's where I smell the rat man.
Guys, she's obviously in the opposite direction.
You're right.
Everyone's right.
So, this is the plan.
Sumo and Chelsea, you got the room with no lights.
Got it! And, Jeff, you can go where you wanted to go.
And I-I'll go upstairs, search for more traps.
Clarence, wait! Can I go with you? No, Jeff, we already decided.
Smelly room for you.
Trap number two, what's under you? Huh? Mavis? Hmm.
Rat man, rat man, come out, come out, rat man.
Oh, come on, Sumo.
It's definitely baby spirits.
That's what's so scary about this place? Little baby ghosts? Still not as stupid as your theory.
Oh! A rat! Rat man, I'm coming for you! Sumo! Wait! - What? You scared? - No way! Well, then, ladies first.
Mavis? Mavis? Mavis, what are you doing? I'm turning off this stupid cult music.
Ugh! That must be the head cult man and his evil cult chorus.
Mavis! Run! Mavis, what are you doing? No Mavis, do don't do that.
Mavis, I'm going to gently remove the unh-uh.
Come on.
Give me the spoon! You guys, I found more cake traps.
Sumo? Mavis, is that you? Hello? What the? Mavis! Don't worry.
We'll find a way to change you back.
And then we'll find the evil witch who did this to you and turn her into a pumpkin.
Hmm.
No rat man here.
Rat man! Face me! Let's fight! Or we can wrestle! I'm ready for you, rat man! What was that? Stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Mavis, no, not that way.
Mavis! Oh! Ohh! No, no, no, no.
No.
Not spooky boo.
No, no, no.
I'm the scarer.
I am the scarer.
I am the scarer! - Hey, hey, hey! - I am the scarer! - I am the scarer.
- Ow! - Hey, what's going on in here? - Wh-What? Oh! - I'm sorry.
- Oh, Howard.
You got me.
Howard, you old cad! - Can we watch TV now? - No.
The party ended an hour ago.
- You should all be in bed.
- Come on, it's halloween.
Live it up a little, Suzy.
So, it was you making those spooky boo noises? Oh, yeah.
That was me.
I used to be a sound-effects guy in the '60s.
Can you also do the spooky boo noise, though? Ooooh-hooo.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's more like this Ooh-ooh-ooh! Uh, no.
Oooooh! Wow, Clarence.
You beat up a grown-up adult.
- Impressive.
- Yeah, he sure did.
This guy here's got a real winning punch.
And you'll all be pleased to know the vegetables aren't for human consumption, but to make biodiesel for the old people's mini-bus.
That probably means there's no rat man in the basement after all.
Oh, no, children.
The rat man is quite real.