Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e51 Episode Script
The Super M.A.C. Menace/Journey to the Center of the Earth
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
HE'S MIXING
WITH THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
HE'LL MAKE
A MYSTERY ♪
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
DEFYING THEM
MEETS CALAMITY ♪
THE CAT'S SUPERIORITY
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
O-O-OH
O-OH O-O-OH O-OH ♪
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
[SNORING]
I LOVE PLAYING
WITH SPIKE. HA HA HA.
[BUGLE BLOWS]
[GROWLING]
HI, SPIKE.
NO!
BYE, SPIKE.
HEY--
WHOA!
TA-TA.
WHOA HO!
YA GA HA GEE!
JUMP ON THE CUSHION!
OH, GOODY.
WHY DO I DO THESE
AWFUL THINGS?
HA HA HA.
OUCH.
IT'S A DOG'S LIFE,
SPIKE. HA HA HA.
HI, LITTLE GUY.
SO WHERE'S THE BRAINS
OF THIS OUTFIT?
I MEAN MONGO, OF COURSE.
DON'T YOU KNOW?
DOOLEY THE DOG CATCHER
COLLARED MONGO.
DOOLEY'S A DOG CATCHER,
MONGO'S A CAT.
UH, WORD HAS IT DOOLEY
AIN'T MAKING HIS QUOTA
AND HE MIGHT GET FIRED.
IF HE KEEPS CATCHING CATS,
HE'S GONNA GET WORSE
THAN FIRED.
COME ON, LET'S GO
SPRING MONGO.
[SIGHS]
[WHIZZING]
HUH?
[SIGHS]
IS HE TAKING
A REST?
NO, HE'S
DEPRESSED.
FOLLOW ME.
HEATHCLIFF, WHA
ARE YOU DOING?
WE'RE GETTING YOU OUT.
DUH, GEE, THANKS,
HEATHCLIFF.
NICE WORK, HEATHCLIFF.
BUT NOW YOU BETTER
GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE M.A.C. GETS HERE.
[MEOWS]
HERE HE COMES NOW.
Hector:
WHAT IS THAT?
HEY, MAN,
LET'S SCRAM.
DUH, I'LL HIDE IN HERE.
I'LL PRETEND
I'M A POSTCARD.
[ROBOTIC VOICE]
I AM YOUR REPLACEMENT.
THE SUPER MECHANICAL
ANIMAL CATCHER.
BUT YOU CAN CALL
ME M.A.C.
TURN IN YOUR NET,
EX-DOG CATCHER.
THIS IS JUST A TEST,
AND YOU MIGHT LOSE,
SUPERMAN.
NEGATIVE. I AM PROGRAMMED
ONLY TO WIN.
NO ANIMAL CAN ESCAPE
FROM ME. OBSERVE.
FIRST, THE ANIMAL
IS DETECTED.
SECOND, THE APPROPRIATE
ANIMAL CATCHING DEVICE
IS ACTIVATED.
THIRD, THE ANIMAL
IS CAPTURED.
AMAZING FOR A BUCKE
OF BALLS.
AND NOW TO CAPTURE EVERY
ANIMAL IN THE CITY.
AND THERE GOES
MY JOB FOR SURE.
HELP!
WOW. THAT WAS
SOME DREAM.
[MACHINE BEEPING]
SPLENDID, A CHANCE TO TEST OU
MY ANIMAL CATCHING GLOBES.
WHOA!
I MUST STILL BE
DREAMING.
SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET I
WHEN I WAKE UP.
VERY GOOD. 3 AT ONE TIME.
ESTIMATED TIME TO CAPTURE:
30 SECONDS.
MONGO WAS RIGHT BEHIND US.
HE SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW.
YEOW!HELP!
HEATHCLIFF! HELP!
WHAT IS THAT THING?!
I AM DOOLEY'S
REPLACEMEN
SUPER M.A.C.
HEY, COME BACK HERE,
YOU BIG VACUUM CLEANER.
AFTER I UNLOAD
MY PRISONERS I WILL
COME BACK FOR YOU.
NEVER MIND, I'LL
SAVE YOU THE TRIP.
OBSERVE, EX-DOG CATCHER.
ALL OF THE ANIMALS
HAVE BEEN CAPTURED
MINUS ONE.
YES, BUT THAT ONE
IS GOING TO SAVE MY JOB.
OK, METAL MOUTH,
NOW FREE MY PALS
OR ELSE.
YAY! YAY!
YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT.
TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT.
AS A CIVIC DUTY,
I'D BETTER CONTINUE
THIS DISCUSSION ELSEWHERE
BEFORE SUPER JERK
DESTROYS THE STREET.
DEAD END ALLEY.
PERFECT.
THERE'S AN AR
TO ALL OF THIS.
OOH, WHAT A GORGEOUS CAT.
[SCREECH]
PERFECT. I WILL SMASH
THAT CAT THROUGH THE WALL.
NOW WHAT DO YOU
HAVE TO SAY, CAT?
HA HA HA.
UH, OFFHAND I'D SAY,
ONE PICTURE IS WORTH
1,000 WORDS.
SUCKER!
[HIGH PITCHED GIBBERISH]
YEP, JUST LIKE I FIGURED.
NO APPRECIATION FOR ART.
HA HA HA.
SHOW YOURSELF, CAT.
I'M THROUGH PLAYING GAMES.
HOW ABOUT ONE MORE?
A GAME OF GOLF.
FORE!
UH-OH!
AW, TOO BAD, MACKY.
[CRASH]
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU LOSE
AGAIN.
HA HA HA.
I WAS PROGRAMMED ONLY TO
CATCH ANIMALS AND WIN.
I HAVE FAILED.
THEREFORE, I MUS
SELF-DESTRUCT.
NOT SO FAST.
YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME
GET MY FRIENDS OUT.
UH, LET'S SEE HERE
I CAN PROGRAM YOU RIGHT.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW, PAL?
TERRIFIC, HEATHCLIFF.
YOU CAN KNOCK OFF
THE MUSH.
ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO
IS WHISTLE.
AND I WILL OBEY
YOUR ORDERS.
OK. [WHISTLES] LET'S GO.
HI, LET US OUT, HEATHCLIFF.
YEAH, I WILL,
OR RATHER, HE WILL.
THANKS, HEATHCLIFF.
All: YAY!
WE'RE FREE!
[BARKING]
YAHOO!
DOOLEY, CATCH THEM!
WHO? HEATHCLIFF?
NO, THAT MECHANICAL
MANIAC.
THE MAYOR JUST CALLED
AND SAID M.A.C.
NOT ONLY KNOCKED
HOLES IN THE SIDEWALK,
BUT HE PULLED UP
A MAILBOX.
THAT'S A FEDERAL
OFFENSE.
WE GOTTA GET RID OF HIM.
I'LL BE GLAD TO GET HIM.
I'LL GET HIM.
IF I WANT THIS
DONE RIGHT,
I'D BETTER
DO IT MYSELF.
Heathcliff:
RUN, SUPER M.A.C.!
WHOA!
THANKS, HEATHCLIFF.
YOU SAVED MY JOB.
AGAIN.
WHOA!
BUT WHY, CLEO?
WHY WOULD ANYBODY WAN
TO DIG UP A JUNKYARD?
IT'S ARCHAEOLOGY,
RIFF RAFF.
ARCHAEOLOGISTS
ALWAYS DIG UP
THE GROUND
TO FIND RELICS
OF THE PAST.
RELICS, HUH?
LOOKS LIKE JUNK TO ME.
THEY FIND A LOT MORE
THAN JUNK, RIFF RAFF.
NOW LOOK A
THAT SKULL
A SABER-TOOTHED TIGER.
WHAT A CREATURE.
MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO,
HE WAS GLORIOUS.
LOOKS LIKE HE LOST SOME
OF HIS GLORY OVER THE YEARS,
BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHA
OLD AGE DOES TO YOU.
YOU
IF YOU WERE HALF AS COOL
AS YOU THINK YOU ARE
OH, LOOK. HE'S TAKING I
TO THAT TENT.
OH, I WISH I COULD SEE
THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL STUFF
IN THERE.
WELL, LET'S GO THEN.
THEY WOULDN'T ALLOW IT.
THEY'D KICK US OUT.
STICK WITH ME, SWEETHEART.
I'LL GET US IN THERE.
BUT HOW?I TOLD YOU,
I LIVE FOR THE NIGHT.
BE MY GUEST.
NOW I'LL SHOW YOU WHA
ARCHAEOLOGY IS ALL ABOUT.
NOT BAD.
RIFF RAFF, YOU'RE
NOT BEING SERIOUS.
LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS WHA
ARCHAEOLOGISTS
ARE LOOKING FOR.
THE MISSING LINK.
CLEO, I THOUGH
THE JUNK WAS A JOKE.
BUT THIS? THE MISSING LINK?
IT'S DUMB.
OH, RIFF RAFF,
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT CAN I EXPEC
FROM A DUMB, STUPID,
UNEDUCATED ALLEY CA
LIKE YOU?
SO WHAT'S WRONG
WITH ALLEY CATS?
YOU'VE GOT NO RESPEC
FOR HISTORY.
YOU GOT NO CULTURE.
YOU'RE A NOBODY.
WELL, MS. HOITY-TOITY,
YOU MAY PUT ME DOWN,
BUT ALLEY CATS
HAVE BEEN AROUND
ALL THROUGH HISTORY.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN
FOR ALLEY CATS,
THERE PROBABLY WOULDN'
BE NO HISTORY.
JUST THE KIND
OF STUPID PRIDE
YOU'D EXPECT FROM
AN ALLEY CAT NOBODY.
YOU THINK ARCHAEOLOGY
IS SUCH A BIG DEAL,
I'LL SHOW YOU ARCHAEOLOGY.
I'LL SHOW HER ALLEY CATS
ARE SOMEBODY.
YOU'RE ASKING FOR
TROUBLE, RIFF RAFF.
OOH.
RIFF RAFF, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE.
JUST FINE.
RIFF RAFF!
WE HEARD YOU CALL,
DID SOMEBODY FALL?
RIFF RAFF'S DOWN THERE.
YOU OK, RIFF RAFF?
YES, I'M OK.
AAH!
[CRASH]OH, NO!
[CRYING]
BYE, RIFF RAFF.
WHAT DO YOU
MEAN GOOD-BYE?
LET'S GO GET HIM.
SO, SHE THINKS I DON'
KNOW ABOUT HISTORY, HUH?
WELL, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
YOU AAH!
OUT OF THE WAY,
IT'S MONGO!
YAHOO!
HEE HEE HEE.
WEE! WEE!
DUH, THAT WAS FUN.
LOOK HERE, CLEO,
GOT SOMETHING
TO SHOW YOU.
FIRST, THESE PICTURES
AND THEN THIS.
IT'S AN ANCIEN
GARBAGE CAN.
AND THESE ARE
ANCIENT ALLEY CATS.
SO, YOU PROVED
YOUR POINT,
DON'T RUB IT IN.
COULD BE THE MOST IMPORTAN
DISCOVERY EVER.
ARCHAEOLOGICALLY SPEAKING,
OF COURSE.
OK, SO YOU WIN,
I GIVE UP.
LET'S GO HOME NOW.
I'M AN ARCHAEOLOGIST NOW,
I'M JUST GETTING WARMED UP.
OH, I SHOULD HAVE
NEVER OPENED MY MOUTH.
FOLLOW ME, ALLEY CA
ARCHAEOLOGISTS, ONWARD.
DUH, WHAT ARE
WE LOOKING FOR?
DON'T ASK.
CAREFUL. THESE ROCKS
ARE LOOSE HERE.
HMPH, NOW THAT RIFF RAFF
THINKS HE'S AN ARCHAEOLOGIST,
WE'LL NEVER GE
OUT OF HERE.
HUH? OH!
WATCH OUT! CAVE-IN!
AAH!
HEY, LOOK
OVER THERE.
Hector:
LOOK! LIGHT!
IT'S DAYTIME. LOOK.
All: OH, WOW!
WE HIT THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL
JACKPOT!
DID YOU EVER SEE
SUCH A FISH?
EVERYTHING IS LIKE
IT USED TO BE
MILLIONS OF YEARS
AGO.
IF THAT TAKES YOU BACK,
TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS TRACK.
HERE'S A SCENE
I CAN MISS.
WE BETTER NOT DALLY,
WOULDN'T WANT TO MEE
THIS IS SOME DARK ALLEY.
JUST WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR!
A CAT!
[GROWLING]
COME ON!
WE GOTTA SEE WHA
KIND OF CATS
THEY GOT DOWN HERE.
AHA!
OH!
THE PATH LEADS TO THERE.
CIVILIZATION.
AND THERE DOWN BELOW.
DOES IT LOOK FAMILIAR?
IT'S A PRE-HISTORIC
JUNKYARD.
DUH, IT LOOKS
JUST LIKE HOME.
BUT DOES ANYBODY LIVE HERE?
GLAD YOU FINALLY ASKED
THAT QUESTION.
I WAS COMING TO THAT.
OF COURSE, IT'S ONLY
A THEORY BUT
[GROWLING]
[YELLING]
WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
WAIT, CLEO,
LOOK THERE.
[YELLING]
[BLBLBLBLBLT]
IT'S HIM.
THE MISSING LINK.
THE PRE-HISTORIC
ALLEY CAT.
BUT HIS GIRLFRIEND
IS IN TROUBLE.
HE'S JUST MAKING NOISE.
WHY DOESN'T HE DO SOMETHING?
HE'S JUST GETTING
WARMED UP.
[YELLING]
[SPEAKING PRE-HISTORIC LANGUAGE]
Cleo: MAN, THA
TIGER IS SLOW.
NO WONDER HE GO
EXTINCT.
YOU SHOWED HIM.
WONDERFUL.
WAY TO GO!
MUDDLED HIS BRAIN,
DROVE HIM INSANE.
DUH, FOOLED ME, TOO.
[SPEAKING NATIVE
LANGUAGE]
YOU'RE A PRETTY TOUGH
CAT YOURSELF.
[SPEAKING NATIVE
LANGUAGE]
AND THEY ALWAYS SAID
I HAD A MOUTH.
[ROARING]
CLEO, OVER HERE!
MAKE A WISH!
[CHEERING]
OH, GEE!
[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]
LOOK OUT!
IT'S A GEYSER.
UP THERE WHERE IT'S SAFE.
[BIG CAT GROWLING]
HIM AGAIN.
[YELLING]
[SPEAKING NATIVE
LANGUAGE]
HE'S INVENTED THE WHEEL.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE?
SHE DID IT.
NEVER FEAR,
JUMP IN HERE.
[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]
SO LONG.BYE-BYE.
WE'VE RUN OUT OF STEAM.
JUMP!
SORRY, PROFESSOR,
THE WATER IN THE TUNNELS
IS UNPREDICTABLE.
NOT SAFE. WE'LL HAVE
TO STOP THE DIG.
JUST AS WELL,
DOCTOR.
THERE'S NOTHING
DOWN THERE ANYWAY.
NOTHING BUT JUNK,
PURE JUNK.
THEY'RE NEVER GONNA
FIND MY MISSING LINK.
THEY'D NEVER BELIEVE I
ANYWAY, RIFF RAFF.
HMPH, YOU AND YOUR
PRE-HISTORIC ALLEY CAT.
BUT, BUT HE
INVENTED THE WHEEL.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE?
YOU TRYING TO STAR
ANOTHER FIGHT?
SHE INVENTED THE WHEEL.
ACTUALLY, THEY SORT OF
DID IT TOGETHER.
[SPEAKING PRE-HISTORIC
LANGUAGE]
All: HA HA HA HA.
HEATHCLIFF HERE WITH SOME GOOD
TIPS FOR ALL OF YOU
PARAKEET OWNERS. MAKE SURE THE
CAGE IS NOT IN THE PATH OF A
DRAFTY WINDOW AND OF COURSE
DRAFTY DOORWAYS
IF IT'S REAL COLD MOVE YOUR
BIRDS AWAY FROM THE RADIATORS
OR FIREPLACES BEFORE YOU LIGH
THEM
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL AND
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS
ON EVERYONE ♪
THERE'S A RACE
TO BE ON TOP ♪
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
HE'S MIXING
WITH THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING,
DEBONAIR ♪
THE GANG
WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
AND NO ONE
CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
HE'LL MAKE
A MYSTERY ♪
AND ALWAYS HAVE
AN ALIBI-I ♪
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
DEFYING THEM
MEETS CALAMITY ♪
THE CAT'S SUPERIORITY
OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
O-O-OH
O-OH O-O-OH O-OH ♪
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR
NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
[SNORING]
I LOVE PLAYING
WITH SPIKE. HA HA HA.
[BUGLE BLOWS]
[GROWLING]
HI, SPIKE.
NO!
BYE, SPIKE.
HEY--
WHOA!
TA-TA.
WHOA HO!
YA GA HA GEE!
JUMP ON THE CUSHION!
OH, GOODY.
WHY DO I DO THESE
AWFUL THINGS?
HA HA HA.
OUCH.
IT'S A DOG'S LIFE,
SPIKE. HA HA HA.
HI, LITTLE GUY.
SO WHERE'S THE BRAINS
OF THIS OUTFIT?
I MEAN MONGO, OF COURSE.
DON'T YOU KNOW?
DOOLEY THE DOG CATCHER
COLLARED MONGO.
DOOLEY'S A DOG CATCHER,
MONGO'S A CAT.
UH, WORD HAS IT DOOLEY
AIN'T MAKING HIS QUOTA
AND HE MIGHT GET FIRED.
IF HE KEEPS CATCHING CATS,
HE'S GONNA GET WORSE
THAN FIRED.
COME ON, LET'S GO
SPRING MONGO.
[SIGHS]
[WHIZZING]
HUH?
[SIGHS]
IS HE TAKING
A REST?
NO, HE'S
DEPRESSED.
FOLLOW ME.
HEATHCLIFF, WHA
ARE YOU DOING?
WE'RE GETTING YOU OUT.
DUH, GEE, THANKS,
HEATHCLIFF.
NICE WORK, HEATHCLIFF.
BUT NOW YOU BETTER
GET OUT OF HERE
BEFORE M.A.C. GETS HERE.
[MEOWS]
HERE HE COMES NOW.
Hector:
WHAT IS THAT?
HEY, MAN,
LET'S SCRAM.
DUH, I'LL HIDE IN HERE.
I'LL PRETEND
I'M A POSTCARD.
[ROBOTIC VOICE]
I AM YOUR REPLACEMENT.
THE SUPER MECHANICAL
ANIMAL CATCHER.
BUT YOU CAN CALL
ME M.A.C.
TURN IN YOUR NET,
EX-DOG CATCHER.
THIS IS JUST A TEST,
AND YOU MIGHT LOSE,
SUPERMAN.
NEGATIVE. I AM PROGRAMMED
ONLY TO WIN.
NO ANIMAL CAN ESCAPE
FROM ME. OBSERVE.
FIRST, THE ANIMAL
IS DETECTED.
SECOND, THE APPROPRIATE
ANIMAL CATCHING DEVICE
IS ACTIVATED.
THIRD, THE ANIMAL
IS CAPTURED.
AMAZING FOR A BUCKE
OF BALLS.
AND NOW TO CAPTURE EVERY
ANIMAL IN THE CITY.
AND THERE GOES
MY JOB FOR SURE.
HELP!
WOW. THAT WAS
SOME DREAM.
[MACHINE BEEPING]
SPLENDID, A CHANCE TO TEST OU
MY ANIMAL CATCHING GLOBES.
WHOA!
I MUST STILL BE
DREAMING.
SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET I
WHEN I WAKE UP.
VERY GOOD. 3 AT ONE TIME.
ESTIMATED TIME TO CAPTURE:
30 SECONDS.
MONGO WAS RIGHT BEHIND US.
HE SHOULD BE HERE BY NOW.
YEOW!HELP!
HEATHCLIFF! HELP!
WHAT IS THAT THING?!
I AM DOOLEY'S
REPLACEMEN
SUPER M.A.C.
HEY, COME BACK HERE,
YOU BIG VACUUM CLEANER.
AFTER I UNLOAD
MY PRISONERS I WILL
COME BACK FOR YOU.
NEVER MIND, I'LL
SAVE YOU THE TRIP.
OBSERVE, EX-DOG CATCHER.
ALL OF THE ANIMALS
HAVE BEEN CAPTURED
MINUS ONE.
YES, BUT THAT ONE
IS GOING TO SAVE MY JOB.
OK, METAL MOUTH,
NOW FREE MY PALS
OR ELSE.
YAY! YAY!
YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT.
TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT.
AS A CIVIC DUTY,
I'D BETTER CONTINUE
THIS DISCUSSION ELSEWHERE
BEFORE SUPER JERK
DESTROYS THE STREET.
DEAD END ALLEY.
PERFECT.
THERE'S AN AR
TO ALL OF THIS.
OOH, WHAT A GORGEOUS CAT.
[SCREECH]
PERFECT. I WILL SMASH
THAT CAT THROUGH THE WALL.
NOW WHAT DO YOU
HAVE TO SAY, CAT?
HA HA HA.
UH, OFFHAND I'D SAY,
ONE PICTURE IS WORTH
1,000 WORDS.
SUCKER!
[HIGH PITCHED GIBBERISH]
YEP, JUST LIKE I FIGURED.
NO APPRECIATION FOR ART.
HA HA HA.
SHOW YOURSELF, CAT.
I'M THROUGH PLAYING GAMES.
HOW ABOUT ONE MORE?
A GAME OF GOLF.
FORE!
UH-OH!
AW, TOO BAD, MACKY.
[CRASH]
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU LOSE
AGAIN.
HA HA HA.
I WAS PROGRAMMED ONLY TO
CATCH ANIMALS AND WIN.
I HAVE FAILED.
THEREFORE, I MUS
SELF-DESTRUCT.
NOT SO FAST.
YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME
GET MY FRIENDS OUT.
UH, LET'S SEE HERE
I CAN PROGRAM YOU RIGHT.
HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW, PAL?
TERRIFIC, HEATHCLIFF.
YOU CAN KNOCK OFF
THE MUSH.
ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO
IS WHISTLE.
AND I WILL OBEY
YOUR ORDERS.
OK. [WHISTLES] LET'S GO.
HI, LET US OUT, HEATHCLIFF.
YEAH, I WILL,
OR RATHER, HE WILL.
THANKS, HEATHCLIFF.
All: YAY!
WE'RE FREE!
[BARKING]
YAHOO!
DOOLEY, CATCH THEM!
WHO? HEATHCLIFF?
NO, THAT MECHANICAL
MANIAC.
THE MAYOR JUST CALLED
AND SAID M.A.C.
NOT ONLY KNOCKED
HOLES IN THE SIDEWALK,
BUT HE PULLED UP
A MAILBOX.
THAT'S A FEDERAL
OFFENSE.
WE GOTTA GET RID OF HIM.
I'LL BE GLAD TO GET HIM.
I'LL GET HIM.
IF I WANT THIS
DONE RIGHT,
I'D BETTER
DO IT MYSELF.
Heathcliff:
RUN, SUPER M.A.C.!
WHOA!
THANKS, HEATHCLIFF.
YOU SAVED MY JOB.
AGAIN.
WHOA!
BUT WHY, CLEO?
WHY WOULD ANYBODY WAN
TO DIG UP A JUNKYARD?
IT'S ARCHAEOLOGY,
RIFF RAFF.
ARCHAEOLOGISTS
ALWAYS DIG UP
THE GROUND
TO FIND RELICS
OF THE PAST.
RELICS, HUH?
LOOKS LIKE JUNK TO ME.
THEY FIND A LOT MORE
THAN JUNK, RIFF RAFF.
NOW LOOK A
THAT SKULL
A SABER-TOOTHED TIGER.
WHAT A CREATURE.
MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO,
HE WAS GLORIOUS.
LOOKS LIKE HE LOST SOME
OF HIS GLORY OVER THE YEARS,
BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHA
OLD AGE DOES TO YOU.
YOU
IF YOU WERE HALF AS COOL
AS YOU THINK YOU ARE
OH, LOOK. HE'S TAKING I
TO THAT TENT.
OH, I WISH I COULD SEE
THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL STUFF
IN THERE.
WELL, LET'S GO THEN.
THEY WOULDN'T ALLOW IT.
THEY'D KICK US OUT.
STICK WITH ME, SWEETHEART.
I'LL GET US IN THERE.
BUT HOW?I TOLD YOU,
I LIVE FOR THE NIGHT.
BE MY GUEST.
NOW I'LL SHOW YOU WHA
ARCHAEOLOGY IS ALL ABOUT.
NOT BAD.
RIFF RAFF, YOU'RE
NOT BEING SERIOUS.
LOOK AT THIS.
THIS IS WHA
ARCHAEOLOGISTS
ARE LOOKING FOR.
THE MISSING LINK.
CLEO, I THOUGH
THE JUNK WAS A JOKE.
BUT THIS? THE MISSING LINK?
IT'S DUMB.
OH, RIFF RAFF,
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT CAN I EXPEC
FROM A DUMB, STUPID,
UNEDUCATED ALLEY CA
LIKE YOU?
SO WHAT'S WRONG
WITH ALLEY CATS?
YOU'VE GOT NO RESPEC
FOR HISTORY.
YOU GOT NO CULTURE.
YOU'RE A NOBODY.
WELL, MS. HOITY-TOITY,
YOU MAY PUT ME DOWN,
BUT ALLEY CATS
HAVE BEEN AROUND
ALL THROUGH HISTORY.
IF IT HADN'T BEEN
FOR ALLEY CATS,
THERE PROBABLY WOULDN'
BE NO HISTORY.
JUST THE KIND
OF STUPID PRIDE
YOU'D EXPECT FROM
AN ALLEY CAT NOBODY.
YOU THINK ARCHAEOLOGY
IS SUCH A BIG DEAL,
I'LL SHOW YOU ARCHAEOLOGY.
I'LL SHOW HER ALLEY CATS
ARE SOMEBODY.
YOU'RE ASKING FOR
TROUBLE, RIFF RAFF.
OOH.
RIFF RAFF, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE.
JUST FINE.
RIFF RAFF!
WE HEARD YOU CALL,
DID SOMEBODY FALL?
RIFF RAFF'S DOWN THERE.
YOU OK, RIFF RAFF?
YES, I'M OK.
AAH!
[CRASH]OH, NO!
[CRYING]
BYE, RIFF RAFF.
WHAT DO YOU
MEAN GOOD-BYE?
LET'S GO GET HIM.
SO, SHE THINKS I DON'
KNOW ABOUT HISTORY, HUH?
WELL, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
YOU AAH!
OUT OF THE WAY,
IT'S MONGO!
YAHOO!
HEE HEE HEE.
WEE! WEE!
DUH, THAT WAS FUN.
LOOK HERE, CLEO,
GOT SOMETHING
TO SHOW YOU.
FIRST, THESE PICTURES
AND THEN THIS.
IT'S AN ANCIEN
GARBAGE CAN.
AND THESE ARE
ANCIENT ALLEY CATS.
SO, YOU PROVED
YOUR POINT,
DON'T RUB IT IN.
COULD BE THE MOST IMPORTAN
DISCOVERY EVER.
ARCHAEOLOGICALLY SPEAKING,
OF COURSE.
OK, SO YOU WIN,
I GIVE UP.
LET'S GO HOME NOW.
I'M AN ARCHAEOLOGIST NOW,
I'M JUST GETTING WARMED UP.
OH, I SHOULD HAVE
NEVER OPENED MY MOUTH.
FOLLOW ME, ALLEY CA
ARCHAEOLOGISTS, ONWARD.
DUH, WHAT ARE
WE LOOKING FOR?
DON'T ASK.
CAREFUL. THESE ROCKS
ARE LOOSE HERE.
HMPH, NOW THAT RIFF RAFF
THINKS HE'S AN ARCHAEOLOGIST,
WE'LL NEVER GE
OUT OF HERE.
HUH? OH!
WATCH OUT! CAVE-IN!
AAH!
HEY, LOOK
OVER THERE.
Hector:
LOOK! LIGHT!
IT'S DAYTIME. LOOK.
All: OH, WOW!
WE HIT THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL
JACKPOT!
DID YOU EVER SEE
SUCH A FISH?
EVERYTHING IS LIKE
IT USED TO BE
MILLIONS OF YEARS
AGO.
IF THAT TAKES YOU BACK,
TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS TRACK.
HERE'S A SCENE
I CAN MISS.
WE BETTER NOT DALLY,
WOULDN'T WANT TO MEE
THIS IS SOME DARK ALLEY.
JUST WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR!
A CAT!
[GROWLING]
COME ON!
WE GOTTA SEE WHA
KIND OF CATS
THEY GOT DOWN HERE.
AHA!
OH!
THE PATH LEADS TO THERE.
CIVILIZATION.
AND THERE DOWN BELOW.
DOES IT LOOK FAMILIAR?
IT'S A PRE-HISTORIC
JUNKYARD.
DUH, IT LOOKS
JUST LIKE HOME.
BUT DOES ANYBODY LIVE HERE?
GLAD YOU FINALLY ASKED
THAT QUESTION.
I WAS COMING TO THAT.
OF COURSE, IT'S ONLY
A THEORY BUT
[GROWLING]
[YELLING]
WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
WAIT, CLEO,
LOOK THERE.
[YELLING]
[BLBLBLBLBLT]
IT'S HIM.
THE MISSING LINK.
THE PRE-HISTORIC
ALLEY CAT.
BUT HIS GIRLFRIEND
IS IN TROUBLE.
HE'S JUST MAKING NOISE.
WHY DOESN'T HE DO SOMETHING?
HE'S JUST GETTING
WARMED UP.
[YELLING]
[SPEAKING PRE-HISTORIC LANGUAGE]
Cleo: MAN, THA
TIGER IS SLOW.
NO WONDER HE GO
EXTINCT.
YOU SHOWED HIM.
WONDERFUL.
WAY TO GO!
MUDDLED HIS BRAIN,
DROVE HIM INSANE.
DUH, FOOLED ME, TOO.
[SPEAKING NATIVE
LANGUAGE]
YOU'RE A PRETTY TOUGH
CAT YOURSELF.
[SPEAKING NATIVE
LANGUAGE]
AND THEY ALWAYS SAID
I HAD A MOUTH.
[ROARING]
CLEO, OVER HERE!
MAKE A WISH!
[CHEERING]
OH, GEE!
[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]
LOOK OUT!
IT'S A GEYSER.
UP THERE WHERE IT'S SAFE.
[BIG CAT GROWLING]
HIM AGAIN.
[YELLING]
[SPEAKING NATIVE
LANGUAGE]
HE'S INVENTED THE WHEEL.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE?
SHE DID IT.
NEVER FEAR,
JUMP IN HERE.
[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]
SO LONG.BYE-BYE.
WE'VE RUN OUT OF STEAM.
JUMP!
SORRY, PROFESSOR,
THE WATER IN THE TUNNELS
IS UNPREDICTABLE.
NOT SAFE. WE'LL HAVE
TO STOP THE DIG.
JUST AS WELL,
DOCTOR.
THERE'S NOTHING
DOWN THERE ANYWAY.
NOTHING BUT JUNK,
PURE JUNK.
THEY'RE NEVER GONNA
FIND MY MISSING LINK.
THEY'D NEVER BELIEVE I
ANYWAY, RIFF RAFF.
HMPH, YOU AND YOUR
PRE-HISTORIC ALLEY CAT.
BUT, BUT HE
INVENTED THE WHEEL.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE?
YOU TRYING TO STAR
ANOTHER FIGHT?
SHE INVENTED THE WHEEL.
ACTUALLY, THEY SORT OF
DID IT TOGETHER.
[SPEAKING PRE-HISTORIC
LANGUAGE]
All: HA HA HA HA.
HEATHCLIFF HERE WITH SOME GOOD
TIPS FOR ALL OF YOU
PARAKEET OWNERS. MAKE SURE THE
CAGE IS NOT IN THE PATH OF A
DRAFTY WINDOW AND OF COURSE
DRAFTY DOORWAYS
IF IT'S REAL COLD MOVE YOUR
BIRDS AWAY FROM THE RADIATORS
OR FIREPLACES BEFORE YOU LIGH
THEM
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
FOX FAMILY CHANNEL AND
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION