Animaniacs (1993) s01e52 Episode Script
Be Careful What You Eat / Up the Crazy River / Ta Da Dump, Ta Da Dump, Ta Da Dump Dump Dump / Opportunity Knox / Wings Take Heart
IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS AND WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX SO JUST SIT BACK AND RELAX YOU'LL LAUGH TILL YOU COLLAPSE WE'RE ANIMANIACS COME JOIN THE WARNER BROS.
AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY THE HILLS ARE QUITE FULL OF BIG ROCKS AND BOULDERS WITH IGNEOUS ROCK SEDIMENTARY, TOO THE HILLS ARE QUITE FULL OF BIG ROCKS AND BOULDERS HELLO, NURSE! NICE SINGING! HEY, WANT TO WATCH ME PRETEND TO THROW UP? [GAGGING.]
UH, HAVE YOU SEEN ANY THREE LITTLE KIDS AROUND HERE ANYWHERES? THEY WENT THAT WAY.
OH, THANKS.
HEY, BY THE WAY, I REALLY LIKES YOUR SINGINGS.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
TAKE THE WORD ANIMAL, TRANSPOSE THE LETTERS "N" AND "M," AND IT'S AMINAL.
IN A NUTSHELL, THAT'S COMEDY.
WHO ARE YOU? WE'RE THE WARNER BROS.
AND THE WARNER SISTER.
KIDS, LOOK.
LET'S NOT WASTE TIME.
I'M A BUSY MAN.
I GOT A MOVIE TO DIREC AND COMEDY TO PLAN AND PLOT.
I'M A COMEDY GENIUS.
LOUIE'S A GENIUS, TOO.
GIVE HIM YOUR MUSIC.
MUSIC? FOR THE AUDITION, YOU SWEE WEIRD-LOOKING KID.
YOU WANT TO AUDITION OR TALK ALL DAY? GIVEN THE OPTIONS, WE'LL AUDITION.
WAKKO, THE MUSIC, PLEASE.
THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL ARE WE PERT AS A SCHOOLGIRL WELL CAN BE FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH GIRLISH GLEE THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL EVERYTHING IS A SOURCE OF FUN NOBODY'S SAFE 'CAUSE WE CARE FOR NONE LIFE IS A JOKE THAT HAS JUST BEGUN THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL I'M BOWLED OVER.
THAT IS GOOD STUFF.
YOU KIDS GOT IT.
YOU GOT THAT SOMETHING, THAT SPECIAL ZINGY THING THAT COMES FROM HERE.
THAT'S A SPAGHETTI STAIN.
YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? THAT'S CLEVER.
YOU'RE WAKKO.
NO, THIS IS WAKKO.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
NO.
I'M YAKKO, AND THAT'S DOT.
HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE? OH, I LOVE THESE KIDS.
THEY'RE SO FUNNY.
NICE KIDS THAT LOOK LIKE PUPPIES.
FLAMEEL! WHERE YOU NUTTY FUNSTERS GOING? JAN MURRAY'S HOUSE? YOU'RE GONNA BE IN MY MOVIE.
MOVIE? WHO WERE YOU LOOKING AT? THE PEOPLE WATCHING ON TV.
PEOPLES? WHAT PEOPLES? HELLO, NICE PEOPLE IN THE TV! I DON'T SEE ANY.
WHERE'D YOU GO? THERE YOU ARE.
NICE KIDS, WE'RE WITH A MOVIE, GONNA DO A THING! AAAAH! DUH, WHERE ARE THEY? O.
K.
, MR.
PENZOIL HEAD, WE'RE CONVINCED.
WE'LL DO YOUR MOVIE.
OH, YOU'LL DO-- THE MOV--YOU'LL DO THE-- HAPPY--I AM-- SO MUCH.
OYL! BE AFRAID.
BE VERY AFRAID.
HERE'S THE FIRST SCENE.
A LADY'S GOING TO WANT SHOES THAT ARE TOO SMALL.
SO? SO THAT'S FUNNY, MY LITTLE KID WITH THE CHEEKS.
LET'S DO IT.
MORTY, ROLL IT.
ACTION! HELLO, LARGE NURSE! I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME SHOES, PLEASE.
WHAT A BIG FEE YOU HAVE.
WAKKO, GET HER A SIZE 16.
NO.
I WANT A SIZE 6.
HEH HEH HEH.
COURTESY LAUGH.
WAKKO, GET THIS WOMAN A SIZE 6.
CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT! SWEETHEARTS, WHAT'S WITH THE SHOE STRETCHING? THAT'S FUNNY HO HO.
I WANT FUNNY HA HA.
YEAH, BUT-- PLEASE DON'T SPEAK.
I'M DIRECTING.
I'VE BEEN DOING COMEDY FOR YEARS.
THE KEY IS THE PROPENSITY OF THE KNOWN AGAINST THE BACKDROP OF UNIVERSAL TRUTHS.
HERE'S HOW I'D DO THAT SCENE.
GO SIT.
NICE LADY! A SIZE 6 IS TOO SMALL FOR YOUR FAT FOOT.
DON'T WITH THE HITTING! I'LL MAKE IT SHOULD FIT! [BABBLING.]
SEE? NOW, THAT'S FUNNY.
YOU KIDS DO I LIKE THAT.
MORTY, ROLL IT.
ACTION! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! NICE LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! AAAAH! NICE LADY! CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
YOU KIDS ARE TERRIBLE.
WE HAVE A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
IF YOU CAN DO IT BETTER, THEN YOU DIRECT.
O.
K.
! SWEETHEART, IN THIS SCENE, WE DON'T WANT FUNNY HA HA, WE WANT FUNNY UH-OH.
WHAT'S FUNNY UH-OH? UH-OH? ALL RIGHT, IN THIS SCENE OY! TOO LOUD.
MAKE WITH A WHISPER.
DON'T WITH THE LOUD MAKER TALK.
SWEETHEART, WE'RE GOING TO DO THE TRAGIC ENDING TO THE MOVIE OLD SCREAMER, ABOUT A BOY'S LOVE FOR HIS SICK, OLD DOG.
I'M THE BOY? NO.
YOU'RE THE DOG.
ANDACTION! OH! OH! OLD SCREAMER, YOU'RE SO VERY SICK.
BARK.
WOOF.
BARK.
FROYNLAVEN.
OH, MY CHILD WAKKO BOY.
IT'S BEST THA WE PUT OLD SCREAMER OUT OF HIS MISERY.
NO, BARK.
WOOF.
NO! BUT, MA, HOW WILL I EVER LIVE WITHOUT OLD SCREAMER? YEAH, BARK! BECAUSE I BOUGHT YOU THIS NEW CUDDLY PUPPY.
[ARF ARF.]
OH, A CUTE LITTLE PUPPY.
GOODBYE, OLD SCREAMER.
OWBARK.
HURT.
I SHOULD GO HOME.
PLEASE DON'T SPEAK.
I'M DIRECTING.
WHOA.
NO MORE WITH THE THING OF LOUD.
NOW, IN THIS NEXT SCENE, YOU'RE THE FAMOUS ARCHEOLOGIS ILLINOIS SMITH.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO GRAB THE ANCIEN BOWL OF SURPRISE.
ANDACTION! HURRY, ILLY.
THE MONSTER'S COMING.
MONSTER? WITH TEETH AND PAWS? GRRRR! GRRRR! OH, MONSTER! PROTECT ME, ILLY! I'M FRIGHTENED! YOU'RE FRIGHTENED? I HAVE TO POTTY! ILLY, USE YOUR WHIP! I THINK IT'S A NOT-WORKING WHIP! HOYL! GRRRR.
HOYL! CUT, CUT, CUT.
THE ROCKS FALL DOWN, GO BOOM.
THAT WAS GOOD, BUTAHHHH, I WAN TO DO IT AGAIN.
MORE AGAIN? TO DO OVER WITH THE HURTING? I HAVE TO GO.
I GOT TO LEAVE.
SHOULDN'T--YES-- TO GO.
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T WORK TOGETHER.
YOU'RE GOOD, BU NOT FOR ME TO WORK.
LEAVE I SHOULD.
BYE, I GO.
ARE YOU SURE? YEAH.
GOING IS GOOD.
STAYING IS BAD.
BYE.
[CRASHING.]
THAT MAN IS A GENIUS.
THE JUNGLE WAS NICE BUT WAY BEHIND THE TIMES FOR TWO ENDANGERED HIPPOS WITH HIP AND TRENDY MINDS SO THEY FLEW THEIR RANCH ROOVER TO THE CITY'S NEON GLOW FAVIO AND MARITA, THE HIP HIPPOS SIR? I'M HUNGRY.
I MUST MEAL.
APPLE ME.
HMM.
UM.
MM-MMM.
GRAPE ME.
BANANA ME.
CAN'T YOU CLEAN WITHOUT BEING SEEN? MUM? YOU ARE SKINNY, VERY SKINNY, AND IT IS CONFUSING TO MY PULSE RATE.
WHOOAAA! OOH! AAAH! MUM, SIR I QUIT! FLAVIO, FLAVIO, FLAVIO MARITA, MARITA, MARITA AAH WHAT SHALL WE DO? WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? THE HELP IS GONE THE MAID IS THROUGH WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? UH-OH.
NOW WHO'LL CLEAN OUR CAGES? I'M CALLING UP THE AGENCY TO FIND A NEW HOUSEKEEPER SHE'S CALLING UP THE AGENCY TO FIND A NEW HOUSEKEEPER A CHAMBERMAID, A GOURMET CHEF A TRENDY CARPET SWEEPER A CHAMBERMAID, A GOURMET CHEF A TRENDY CARPET SWEEPER WHY ARE YOU REPEATING EVERYTHING I AM SINGING? WHY AM I REPEATING EVERYTHING THAT YOU-- I DO NOT KNOW.
[MAN ON TELEPHONE HUMMING.]
HELLO, HELLO, MARITA HIPPO HERE I'M HAVING AN EMERGENCY MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH URGENCY WE NEED TO HIRE A SERVANT, SEE! WE NEED A NEW HOUSEKEEPER [MAN HUMMING.]
BUT--BUT OHVERY WELL.
MARITA, MY POOR WILTING LILY.
WHAT IS THE MATTER? THEY CANNOT SEND US A NEW MAID UNTIL MONDAY MORNING.
MONDAY MORNING? WHAT SHALL WE DO? WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? HAVE NO FEAR, MARITA DEAR.
I HAVE A PLAN.
PRAY TELL, FLAVIO! I'LL DO THE WINDOWS AND PUSH THE VACUUM POLISH THE PARLOR SCRUB OUT THE BATHROOM OH, THIS IS HARD.
I WILL NOT WORRY, I WILL NOT FEAR I'LL DO LAUNDRY UNTIL HELP IS HERE FOLD THE TOWELS AND STARCH THE SHIRTS AND I'LL DO LAUNDRY UNTIL IT HURTS ¡AY! THIS IS REALLY NOT SO AMUSING.
DINNER IS EASY, SIMPLE LIKE A DREAM CLEANING THE CHICKEN SCRUBBING THE BEANS ADD-A TWO TABLESPOONS INTO A POT STIR-FRY UNTIL HOT PERHAPS NEXT TIME, WE TAKE OUT CHINESE.
[GONG.]
POOR LITTLE HIPPOS, HUSBAND AND WIFE THEY HAVEN'T A CLUE, THEY HAVEN'T A LIFE A TRAGIC CONCLUSION, SEE HOW THEY CRY POOR HIPPOPOTAMI WHAT WILL WE DO? WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME AND YOU? [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
I FORGOT MY FEATHER DUSTER.
WE REALIZE WE'VE BEEN WRONG WE'VE TREATED YOU UNFAIR HOW CAN WE MAKE IT UP AND SHOW YOU HOW WE CARE? COME CLEAN FOR US, COME CLEAN FOR US COME BACK AND CLEAN FOR US WE'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU ASK JUST SAY YOU'LL CLEAN FOR US OH, ALL RIGHT.
SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US, SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US SHE SAID SHE REALLY WILL A HAPPY ENDING, EVERYONE SHE SAID SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US THERE'S A TWIST-- AN OPERA WITH A HAPPY ENDING.
THE CRANKIES OF CREATURES IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD OUR NEXT CARTOON FEATURES SLAPPY THE SQUIRREL AH, ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING ALREADY.
THAT'S SLAPPY IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO HAS A PRETTY LITTLE FLOWER BED OF WHITE GARDENIAS GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO BUT PARKED IN A RICKETY OLD GARAGE THERE'S A BRAND-NEW SHINY RED SUPERSTOCKED DODGE AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA SHE DRIVES REAL FAST AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA IF YOU SEE HER ON THE STREET DON'T TRY TO CHASE HER GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO YOU MIGHT DRIVE A GOER BUT YOU'LL NEVER LOSE HER GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO SHE'S GONNA GE A TICKET NOW SOONER OR LATER 'CAUSE SHE CAN' KEEP HER FOOT OFF THE ACCELERATOR [VROOM VROOM.]
AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA SHE DRIVES REAL FAST AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO THE GUYS COME TO RACE HER FROM MILES AROUND BUT SHE'LL GIVE 'EM A LENGTH THEN SHE'LL SHUT 'EM DOWN AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA SHE DRIVES REAL FAST AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO AND I NEVER TOOK A LESSON IN MY LIFE.
[SIRENS.]
GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER CO.
, L.
P.
FLAMEEL!
AND THE WARNER SISTER DOT JUST FOR FUN WE RUN AROUND THE WARNER MOVIE LOT THEY LOCK US IN THE TOWER WHENEVER WE GET CAUGHT BUT WE BREAK LOOSE AND THEN VAMOOSE AND NOW YOU KNOW THE PLOT WE'RE ANIMANIACS DOT IS CUTE AND YAKKO YAKS WAKKO PACKS AWAY THE SNACKS WHILE BILL CLINTON PLAYS THE SAX WE'RE ANIMANIACS MEET PINKY AND THE BRAIN WHO WANT TO RULE THE UNIVERSE GOODFEATHERS FLOCK TOGETHER SLAPPY WHACKS 'EM WITH HER PURSE BUTTONS CHASES MINDY WHILE RITA SINGS A VERSE THE WRITERS FLIPPED, WE HAVE NO SCRIPT WHY BOTHER TO REHEARSE? WE'RE ANIMANIACS WE HAVE PAY-OR-PLAY CONTRACTS WE'RE ZANY TO THE MAX THERE'S BALONEY IN OUR SLACKS WE'RE ANIMANEE TOTALLY INSANE-Y HERE'S THE SHOW'S NAMEY ANIMANIACS THOSE ARE THE FACTS CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.
S.
DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY THE HILLS ARE QUITE FULL OF BIG ROCKS AND BOULDERS WITH IGNEOUS ROCK SEDIMENTARY, TOO THE HILLS ARE QUITE FULL OF BIG ROCKS AND BOULDERS HELLO, NURSE! NICE SINGING! HEY, WANT TO WATCH ME PRETEND TO THROW UP? [GAGGING.]
UH, HAVE YOU SEEN ANY THREE LITTLE KIDS AROUND HERE ANYWHERES? THEY WENT THAT WAY.
OH, THANKS.
HEY, BY THE WAY, I REALLY LIKES YOUR SINGINGS.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
TAKE THE WORD ANIMAL, TRANSPOSE THE LETTERS "N" AND "M," AND IT'S AMINAL.
IN A NUTSHELL, THAT'S COMEDY.
WHO ARE YOU? WE'RE THE WARNER BROS.
AND THE WARNER SISTER.
KIDS, LOOK.
LET'S NOT WASTE TIME.
I'M A BUSY MAN.
I GOT A MOVIE TO DIREC AND COMEDY TO PLAN AND PLOT.
I'M A COMEDY GENIUS.
LOUIE'S A GENIUS, TOO.
GIVE HIM YOUR MUSIC.
MUSIC? FOR THE AUDITION, YOU SWEE WEIRD-LOOKING KID.
YOU WANT TO AUDITION OR TALK ALL DAY? GIVEN THE OPTIONS, WE'LL AUDITION.
WAKKO, THE MUSIC, PLEASE.
THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL ARE WE PERT AS A SCHOOLGIRL WELL CAN BE FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH GIRLISH GLEE THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL EVERYTHING IS A SOURCE OF FUN NOBODY'S SAFE 'CAUSE WE CARE FOR NONE LIFE IS A JOKE THAT HAS JUST BEGUN THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL I'M BOWLED OVER.
THAT IS GOOD STUFF.
YOU KIDS GOT IT.
YOU GOT THAT SOMETHING, THAT SPECIAL ZINGY THING THAT COMES FROM HERE.
THAT'S A SPAGHETTI STAIN.
YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING? THAT'S CLEVER.
YOU'RE WAKKO.
NO, THIS IS WAKKO.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
NO.
I'M YAKKO, AND THAT'S DOT.
HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE? OH, I LOVE THESE KIDS.
THEY'RE SO FUNNY.
NICE KIDS THAT LOOK LIKE PUPPIES.
FLAMEEL! WHERE YOU NUTTY FUNSTERS GOING? JAN MURRAY'S HOUSE? YOU'RE GONNA BE IN MY MOVIE.
MOVIE? WHO WERE YOU LOOKING AT? THE PEOPLE WATCHING ON TV.
PEOPLES? WHAT PEOPLES? HELLO, NICE PEOPLE IN THE TV! I DON'T SEE ANY.
WHERE'D YOU GO? THERE YOU ARE.
NICE KIDS, WE'RE WITH A MOVIE, GONNA DO A THING! AAAAH! DUH, WHERE ARE THEY? O.
K.
, MR.
PENZOIL HEAD, WE'RE CONVINCED.
WE'LL DO YOUR MOVIE.
OH, YOU'LL DO-- THE MOV--YOU'LL DO THE-- HAPPY--I AM-- SO MUCH.
OYL! BE AFRAID.
BE VERY AFRAID.
HERE'S THE FIRST SCENE.
A LADY'S GOING TO WANT SHOES THAT ARE TOO SMALL.
SO? SO THAT'S FUNNY, MY LITTLE KID WITH THE CHEEKS.
LET'S DO IT.
MORTY, ROLL IT.
ACTION! HELLO, LARGE NURSE! I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE SOME SHOES, PLEASE.
WHAT A BIG FEE YOU HAVE.
WAKKO, GET HER A SIZE 16.
NO.
I WANT A SIZE 6.
HEH HEH HEH.
COURTESY LAUGH.
WAKKO, GET THIS WOMAN A SIZE 6.
CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT! SWEETHEARTS, WHAT'S WITH THE SHOE STRETCHING? THAT'S FUNNY HO HO.
I WANT FUNNY HA HA.
YEAH, BUT-- PLEASE DON'T SPEAK.
I'M DIRECTING.
I'VE BEEN DOING COMEDY FOR YEARS.
THE KEY IS THE PROPENSITY OF THE KNOWN AGAINST THE BACKDROP OF UNIVERSAL TRUTHS.
HERE'S HOW I'D DO THAT SCENE.
GO SIT.
NICE LADY! A SIZE 6 IS TOO SMALL FOR YOUR FAT FOOT.
DON'T WITH THE HITTING! I'LL MAKE IT SHOULD FIT! [BABBLING.]
SEE? NOW, THAT'S FUNNY.
YOU KIDS DO I LIKE THAT.
MORTY, ROLL IT.
ACTION! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! NICE LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! OH, LADY! AAAAH! NICE LADY! CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
YOU KIDS ARE TERRIBLE.
WE HAVE A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
IF YOU CAN DO IT BETTER, THEN YOU DIRECT.
O.
K.
! SWEETHEART, IN THIS SCENE, WE DON'T WANT FUNNY HA HA, WE WANT FUNNY UH-OH.
WHAT'S FUNNY UH-OH? UH-OH? ALL RIGHT, IN THIS SCENE OY! TOO LOUD.
MAKE WITH A WHISPER.
DON'T WITH THE LOUD MAKER TALK.
SWEETHEART, WE'RE GOING TO DO THE TRAGIC ENDING TO THE MOVIE OLD SCREAMER, ABOUT A BOY'S LOVE FOR HIS SICK, OLD DOG.
I'M THE BOY? NO.
YOU'RE THE DOG.
ANDACTION! OH! OH! OLD SCREAMER, YOU'RE SO VERY SICK.
BARK.
WOOF.
BARK.
FROYNLAVEN.
OH, MY CHILD WAKKO BOY.
IT'S BEST THA WE PUT OLD SCREAMER OUT OF HIS MISERY.
NO, BARK.
WOOF.
NO! BUT, MA, HOW WILL I EVER LIVE WITHOUT OLD SCREAMER? YEAH, BARK! BECAUSE I BOUGHT YOU THIS NEW CUDDLY PUPPY.
[ARF ARF.]
OH, A CUTE LITTLE PUPPY.
GOODBYE, OLD SCREAMER.
OWBARK.
HURT.
I SHOULD GO HOME.
PLEASE DON'T SPEAK.
I'M DIRECTING.
WHOA.
NO MORE WITH THE THING OF LOUD.
NOW, IN THIS NEXT SCENE, YOU'RE THE FAMOUS ARCHEOLOGIS ILLINOIS SMITH.
YOU'RE ABOUT TO GRAB THE ANCIEN BOWL OF SURPRISE.
ANDACTION! HURRY, ILLY.
THE MONSTER'S COMING.
MONSTER? WITH TEETH AND PAWS? GRRRR! GRRRR! OH, MONSTER! PROTECT ME, ILLY! I'M FRIGHTENED! YOU'RE FRIGHTENED? I HAVE TO POTTY! ILLY, USE YOUR WHIP! I THINK IT'S A NOT-WORKING WHIP! HOYL! GRRRR.
HOYL! CUT, CUT, CUT.
THE ROCKS FALL DOWN, GO BOOM.
THAT WAS GOOD, BUTAHHHH, I WAN TO DO IT AGAIN.
MORE AGAIN? TO DO OVER WITH THE HURTING? I HAVE TO GO.
I GOT TO LEAVE.
SHOULDN'T--YES-- TO GO.
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T WORK TOGETHER.
YOU'RE GOOD, BU NOT FOR ME TO WORK.
LEAVE I SHOULD.
BYE, I GO.
ARE YOU SURE? YEAH.
GOING IS GOOD.
STAYING IS BAD.
BYE.
[CRASHING.]
THAT MAN IS A GENIUS.
THE JUNGLE WAS NICE BUT WAY BEHIND THE TIMES FOR TWO ENDANGERED HIPPOS WITH HIP AND TRENDY MINDS SO THEY FLEW THEIR RANCH ROOVER TO THE CITY'S NEON GLOW FAVIO AND MARITA, THE HIP HIPPOS SIR? I'M HUNGRY.
I MUST MEAL.
APPLE ME.
HMM.
UM.
MM-MMM.
GRAPE ME.
BANANA ME.
CAN'T YOU CLEAN WITHOUT BEING SEEN? MUM? YOU ARE SKINNY, VERY SKINNY, AND IT IS CONFUSING TO MY PULSE RATE.
WHOOAAA! OOH! AAAH! MUM, SIR I QUIT! FLAVIO, FLAVIO, FLAVIO MARITA, MARITA, MARITA AAH WHAT SHALL WE DO? WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? THE HELP IS GONE THE MAID IS THROUGH WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? UH-OH.
NOW WHO'LL CLEAN OUR CAGES? I'M CALLING UP THE AGENCY TO FIND A NEW HOUSEKEEPER SHE'S CALLING UP THE AGENCY TO FIND A NEW HOUSEKEEPER A CHAMBERMAID, A GOURMET CHEF A TRENDY CARPET SWEEPER A CHAMBERMAID, A GOURMET CHEF A TRENDY CARPET SWEEPER WHY ARE YOU REPEATING EVERYTHING I AM SINGING? WHY AM I REPEATING EVERYTHING THAT YOU-- I DO NOT KNOW.
[MAN ON TELEPHONE HUMMING.]
HELLO, HELLO, MARITA HIPPO HERE I'M HAVING AN EMERGENCY MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH URGENCY WE NEED TO HIRE A SERVANT, SEE! WE NEED A NEW HOUSEKEEPER [MAN HUMMING.]
BUT--BUT OHVERY WELL.
MARITA, MY POOR WILTING LILY.
WHAT IS THE MATTER? THEY CANNOT SEND US A NEW MAID UNTIL MONDAY MORNING.
MONDAY MORNING? WHAT SHALL WE DO? WHAT WILL BECOME OF US TWO? HAVE NO FEAR, MARITA DEAR.
I HAVE A PLAN.
PRAY TELL, FLAVIO! I'LL DO THE WINDOWS AND PUSH THE VACUUM POLISH THE PARLOR SCRUB OUT THE BATHROOM OH, THIS IS HARD.
I WILL NOT WORRY, I WILL NOT FEAR I'LL DO LAUNDRY UNTIL HELP IS HERE FOLD THE TOWELS AND STARCH THE SHIRTS AND I'LL DO LAUNDRY UNTIL IT HURTS ¡AY! THIS IS REALLY NOT SO AMUSING.
DINNER IS EASY, SIMPLE LIKE A DREAM CLEANING THE CHICKEN SCRUBBING THE BEANS ADD-A TWO TABLESPOONS INTO A POT STIR-FRY UNTIL HOT PERHAPS NEXT TIME, WE TAKE OUT CHINESE.
[GONG.]
POOR LITTLE HIPPOS, HUSBAND AND WIFE THEY HAVEN'T A CLUE, THEY HAVEN'T A LIFE A TRAGIC CONCLUSION, SEE HOW THEY CRY POOR HIPPOPOTAMI WHAT WILL WE DO? WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME AND YOU? [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
I FORGOT MY FEATHER DUSTER.
WE REALIZE WE'VE BEEN WRONG WE'VE TREATED YOU UNFAIR HOW CAN WE MAKE IT UP AND SHOW YOU HOW WE CARE? COME CLEAN FOR US, COME CLEAN FOR US COME BACK AND CLEAN FOR US WE'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU ASK JUST SAY YOU'LL CLEAN FOR US OH, ALL RIGHT.
SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US, SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US SHE SAID SHE REALLY WILL A HAPPY ENDING, EVERYONE SHE SAID SHE'LL CLEAN FOR US THERE'S A TWIST-- AN OPERA WITH A HAPPY ENDING.
THE CRANKIES OF CREATURES IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD OUR NEXT CARTOON FEATURES SLAPPY THE SQUIRREL AH, ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING ALREADY.
THAT'S SLAPPY IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO HAS A PRETTY LITTLE FLOWER BED OF WHITE GARDENIAS GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO BUT PARKED IN A RICKETY OLD GARAGE THERE'S A BRAND-NEW SHINY RED SUPERSTOCKED DODGE AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA SHE DRIVES REAL FAST AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA IF YOU SEE HER ON THE STREET DON'T TRY TO CHASE HER GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO YOU MIGHT DRIVE A GOER BUT YOU'LL NEVER LOSE HER GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO SHE'S GONNA GE A TICKET NOW SOONER OR LATER 'CAUSE SHE CAN' KEEP HER FOOT OFF THE ACCELERATOR [VROOM VROOM.]
AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA SHE DRIVES REAL FAST AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO THE GUYS COME TO RACE HER FROM MILES AROUND BUT SHE'LL GIVE 'EM A LENGTH THEN SHE'LL SHUT 'EM DOWN AND EVERYBODY'S SAYIN' THAT THERE'S NOBODY MEANER THAN THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA SHE DRIVES REAL FAST AND SHE DRIVES REAL HARD SHE'S THE TERROR OF COLORADO BOULEVARD IT'S THE LITTLE OLD LADY FROM PASADENA GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO AND I NEVER TOOK A LESSON IN MY LIFE.
[SIRENS.]
GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO, GRANNY, GO A DIVISION OF TIME-WARNER CO.
, L.
P.
FLAMEEL!