Clarence US (2014) s01e52 Episode Script
The Interrogation
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Oh, no! Ohh.
Okay, okay, everyone.
Back to class.
Nothing to see here.
What the? My car! My beautiful car! Aw, speak to me, baby.
Who did this to you? - Jeff! - Ooh! If I'm gonna crack this case, I need a right-hand man.
You up for it? I have to go study rocks.
- Rocks.
- Hmm.
Checks out.
Clarence! How would you like to help out your favorite faculty member? Ms.
Baker's in trouble? Whole school's gonna be in trouble if we don't find the culprit of this heinous crime.
Confiscated! Ohh! Now, start snapping some evidence photos.
Of the car! The car! And then I drank some milk.
No, wait.
It was chocolate milk.
But did you see anyone? Um, I saw my mom in her car.
No further questions for now.
Please sit in the holding area until further notice.
Do you mean the chairs on the other side of the wall thingy? - Yeah, yeah, the chairs.
- Yay! Ooh! - Hi, Clarence.
- Hi, Percy.
This is the suspect wall.
That's me! Mm-hmm.
And this part's evidence.
Uh, and these are, like, um this is for something else, like, personal.
So, you know how it is.
A clue.
Mr.
Reese, I found a new evidence thingy.
Enhance.
Mm-hmm.
Enhance and rotate.
Hello, daddy.
Why am I here? Mr.
Noles, Mr.
Noles, Mr.
Noles.
I take it you enjoy the finer things in life.
Things like, uh, international cuisine.
- Oh, what? - Hmm.
No shame in it.
We've all enjoyed our fair share of across-the-border cookery.
- Oh, yeah.
- And with your generous lunch budget, Who knows what might show up in your lunch pail, hmm? - What?! - A delicate egg roll from Hong Kong or perhaps a crispy chimichanga from our brothers down Mexico way.
Or maybe even a meatball sub! - Aah! - No! So what? What does that prove? - Oh, you want proof? - O-Okay, so it's mine.
But it wasn't me! I swear.
I gave it away.
My dumb mom bought me lunch from Marianio's Two, even though she knows I hate that place.
Marianio's Two.
Gross.
So I, uh, gave it to, uh, Chelsea out of the goodness of my heart.
Chelsea! I know how much you love meatball subs.
Please accept this gift of sustenance.
Wow! Thank you so much, Belson! And then I went to rough riders instead.
Hmm.
Go take a seat in the bullpen.
Ask Chelsea yourself.
I gave it away.
Hi, Belson! Mr.
Reese, I've known Belson my whole life.
He acts like a tough guy, but deep down, he's just a baby angel.
I can see their footsies.
Okay, you convinced me on this.
Let's roll.
Hoo-ah! Ohh! Ms.
Keezheekoni, step outside for a sec.
We have reason to believe you were recently involved with a little sandwich incident.
I don't know what you're talking about.
We could do this the easy way or the hard way, little lady.
You asked for it! Time to heat things up a little bit.
You'll regret this.
You'll regret it badly.
A little more to the left.
Sorry.
I mean to the right.
Then move up a little.
To the left.
That's good.
Put this one in between.
Now they're married! We have a witness who says he saw you earlier today with a meatball sub.
- Who? They're lying.
- Oh, we'll see who's lying.
A little hot in here.
Uh You sure no one gave you any sandwiches? - Not even Belson? - Belson? Why would he give me anything? He's the one who probably did it.
So hot.
I'm gonna go get some water now.
Time for a little good cop, bad cop.
Clarence, what do you want? That's not how you talk to a bad cop.
Oh, whatever.
Well, how about now, little lady?! - Oh.
Oh, he's good.
- Hey, what's this thing here? It's marinara sauce.
Okay, okay! It's from Belson's sandwich! - Aha! - Wait.
I can explain.
Just get Clarence away from me.
I got to school stupidly early this morning, so I was reading this weird book the nurse gave me.
Then Belson showed up.
- Hey, you want my sub? - Why? What's wrong with it? Look, I just don't want it, all right? Feel free to pick it up or not.
Later, loser.
So I checked the sub, and it looked fine.
So I thought, "eh, what the heck?" That's when I was tripped by someone.
I looked around to see who tripped me, but they were gone.
- I swear I didn't write anything! - Hmm.
A mystery tripper.
The closer we get to the perp, further down the rabbit hole I fall.
Can I go back to class now? - You can sit in the holding area.
- The what? - Fire bubbles! - Get! You just lost the game.
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Percy wild card.
Belson penchant for tomfoolery - and a clear disregard for authority.
- Whatever.
Chelsea definite attitude problem, yet she claims to have been duped by a mystery tripper.
It just doesn't add up.
- What are you doing? - Hmm.
Maybe Jeff did it.
What? Jeffrey Randell? Why do you think that? 'Cause from when I saw him do it.
You saw him do it? Why didn't you say anything?! Because I'm a "bad cop.
" - Now, what happened?! - Well, I was on my way to class.
Everything was beautiful.
The sun was shining, and the there was rainbows.
Oh, and I was in a bush.
That's when I saw Jeff.
Please! Jeff, how could you? Yeah, operation ding-dong success.
Blast off! - Are you sure that's what you saw? - Positive.
Then let's get that punk! Hoo-ah! - Hey, Jeff.
- Uh, Clarence, what are you doing? Jeffrey Randell, you're under arrest.
Aah! Get him! What are you doing?! I didn't do anything! - Get off me! - You're going downtown, Jeff.
- It's time for some answers.
- Okay, I'll tell you everything! It was early in the morning when I saw Chelsea with the sandwich.
Hi, Chelsea.
Oh.
Arrowhead.
Hmm.
Ow.
Rude.
I tried to clean it off, but it just made it worse.
And then the bell rang.
Oh, geez.
Can you untie me now? I figured out a little exercise that'll solve this case for good.
Uh-huh.
Now, each of you, get writin'! Huh.
- Can I go back to class now? - No.
- Hmm.
You're on thin ice, Chelsea.
- Ugh! - Very disappointing, Belson.
- Whatever.
Clarence, you don't have to do this.
I know, but it's fun.
Percy, that's not what I told you to do.
Made a smiley face! That didn't work.
Hmm.
All right.
Looks like it's time to use an old trick we used to use on the force.
Blinky,Inky, Pinky, Clyde, you can run, but you can't - eh, let's just say Belson! - What?! But they're they're block letters! All block letters look the same! It's a likely story, but the point is I don't like you.
So go clean my car.
Whatever! Is that sass? I don't want no sass! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't forget the tires.
M-Mr.
Reese.
Mr.
Reese.
Can I help Belson clean your car? But we're partners.
Want to wear my hat some more? That's okay.
I've had enough bad cop for one day.
Could have used 10 guys like you on the force, Clarence.
Hey, Belson, can I have some water? Ahh, another case closed by old Mr.
Reese.
Oh, geez.
Good one, Shoop.
Okay, okay, everyone.
Back to class.
Nothing to see here.
What the? My car! My beautiful car! Aw, speak to me, baby.
Who did this to you? - Jeff! - Ooh! If I'm gonna crack this case, I need a right-hand man.
You up for it? I have to go study rocks.
- Rocks.
- Hmm.
Checks out.
Clarence! How would you like to help out your favorite faculty member? Ms.
Baker's in trouble? Whole school's gonna be in trouble if we don't find the culprit of this heinous crime.
Confiscated! Ohh! Now, start snapping some evidence photos.
Of the car! The car! And then I drank some milk.
No, wait.
It was chocolate milk.
But did you see anyone? Um, I saw my mom in her car.
No further questions for now.
Please sit in the holding area until further notice.
Do you mean the chairs on the other side of the wall thingy? - Yeah, yeah, the chairs.
- Yay! Ooh! - Hi, Clarence.
- Hi, Percy.
This is the suspect wall.
That's me! Mm-hmm.
And this part's evidence.
Uh, and these are, like, um this is for something else, like, personal.
So, you know how it is.
A clue.
Mr.
Reese, I found a new evidence thingy.
Enhance.
Mm-hmm.
Enhance and rotate.
Hello, daddy.
Why am I here? Mr.
Noles, Mr.
Noles, Mr.
Noles.
I take it you enjoy the finer things in life.
Things like, uh, international cuisine.
- Oh, what? - Hmm.
No shame in it.
We've all enjoyed our fair share of across-the-border cookery.
- Oh, yeah.
- And with your generous lunch budget, Who knows what might show up in your lunch pail, hmm? - What?! - A delicate egg roll from Hong Kong or perhaps a crispy chimichanga from our brothers down Mexico way.
Or maybe even a meatball sub! - Aah! - No! So what? What does that prove? - Oh, you want proof? - O-Okay, so it's mine.
But it wasn't me! I swear.
I gave it away.
My dumb mom bought me lunch from Marianio's Two, even though she knows I hate that place.
Marianio's Two.
Gross.
So I, uh, gave it to, uh, Chelsea out of the goodness of my heart.
Chelsea! I know how much you love meatball subs.
Please accept this gift of sustenance.
Wow! Thank you so much, Belson! And then I went to rough riders instead.
Hmm.
Go take a seat in the bullpen.
Ask Chelsea yourself.
I gave it away.
Hi, Belson! Mr.
Reese, I've known Belson my whole life.
He acts like a tough guy, but deep down, he's just a baby angel.
I can see their footsies.
Okay, you convinced me on this.
Let's roll.
Hoo-ah! Ohh! Ms.
Keezheekoni, step outside for a sec.
We have reason to believe you were recently involved with a little sandwich incident.
I don't know what you're talking about.
We could do this the easy way or the hard way, little lady.
You asked for it! Time to heat things up a little bit.
You'll regret this.
You'll regret it badly.
A little more to the left.
Sorry.
I mean to the right.
Then move up a little.
To the left.
That's good.
Put this one in between.
Now they're married! We have a witness who says he saw you earlier today with a meatball sub.
- Who? They're lying.
- Oh, we'll see who's lying.
A little hot in here.
Uh You sure no one gave you any sandwiches? - Not even Belson? - Belson? Why would he give me anything? He's the one who probably did it.
So hot.
I'm gonna go get some water now.
Time for a little good cop, bad cop.
Clarence, what do you want? That's not how you talk to a bad cop.
Oh, whatever.
Well, how about now, little lady?! - Oh.
Oh, he's good.
- Hey, what's this thing here? It's marinara sauce.
Okay, okay! It's from Belson's sandwich! - Aha! - Wait.
I can explain.
Just get Clarence away from me.
I got to school stupidly early this morning, so I was reading this weird book the nurse gave me.
Then Belson showed up.
- Hey, you want my sub? - Why? What's wrong with it? Look, I just don't want it, all right? Feel free to pick it up or not.
Later, loser.
So I checked the sub, and it looked fine.
So I thought, "eh, what the heck?" That's when I was tripped by someone.
I looked around to see who tripped me, but they were gone.
- I swear I didn't write anything! - Hmm.
A mystery tripper.
The closer we get to the perp, further down the rabbit hole I fall.
Can I go back to class now? - You can sit in the holding area.
- The what? - Fire bubbles! - Get! You just lost the game.
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Percy wild card.
Belson penchant for tomfoolery - and a clear disregard for authority.
- Whatever.
Chelsea definite attitude problem, yet she claims to have been duped by a mystery tripper.
It just doesn't add up.
- What are you doing? - Hmm.
Maybe Jeff did it.
What? Jeffrey Randell? Why do you think that? 'Cause from when I saw him do it.
You saw him do it? Why didn't you say anything?! Because I'm a "bad cop.
" - Now, what happened?! - Well, I was on my way to class.
Everything was beautiful.
The sun was shining, and the there was rainbows.
Oh, and I was in a bush.
That's when I saw Jeff.
Please! Jeff, how could you? Yeah, operation ding-dong success.
Blast off! - Are you sure that's what you saw? - Positive.
Then let's get that punk! Hoo-ah! - Hey, Jeff.
- Uh, Clarence, what are you doing? Jeffrey Randell, you're under arrest.
Aah! Get him! What are you doing?! I didn't do anything! - Get off me! - You're going downtown, Jeff.
- It's time for some answers.
- Okay, I'll tell you everything! It was early in the morning when I saw Chelsea with the sandwich.
Hi, Chelsea.
Oh.
Arrowhead.
Hmm.
Ow.
Rude.
I tried to clean it off, but it just made it worse.
And then the bell rang.
Oh, geez.
Can you untie me now? I figured out a little exercise that'll solve this case for good.
Uh-huh.
Now, each of you, get writin'! Huh.
- Can I go back to class now? - No.
- Hmm.
You're on thin ice, Chelsea.
- Ugh! - Very disappointing, Belson.
- Whatever.
Clarence, you don't have to do this.
I know, but it's fun.
Percy, that's not what I told you to do.
Made a smiley face! That didn't work.
Hmm.
All right.
Looks like it's time to use an old trick we used to use on the force.
Blinky,Inky, Pinky, Clyde, you can run, but you can't - eh, let's just say Belson! - What?! But they're they're block letters! All block letters look the same! It's a likely story, but the point is I don't like you.
So go clean my car.
Whatever! Is that sass? I don't want no sass! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't forget the tires.
M-Mr.
Reese.
Mr.
Reese.
Can I help Belson clean your car? But we're partners.
Want to wear my hat some more? That's okay.
I've had enough bad cop for one day.
Could have used 10 guys like you on the force, Clarence.
Hey, Belson, can I have some water? Ahh, another case closed by old Mr.
Reese.
Oh, geez.
Good one, Shoop.